comedy: Sunday afternoon comedy - 10/05/08 02:54 PM
I got another good
email joke that I thought I would share. I get a lot of
these, but only the ones that I truly find funny are worth passing on.
This one struck a nerve, because I was watching this
ridiculous disaster movie last night and in it a … (22 comments)
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comedy: The Professor and The Duke - 10/02/08 11:31 PM
I received
this email joke from a fellow military retiree. I really got
a kick out of it, and in my mind I saw the Marine character as my all
time favorite ~ John Wayne.
The more I thought about
it, the more I wanted to share this joke … (26 comments)
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comedy: And now, for something completely different (and very funny)... - 10/02/08 11:01 AM
Have you watched the "Evolution of Dance" on YouTube. It is one of the most-watched videos of all-time with over 100 million hits.
Find it here:
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg
With all the financial strife in the world markets and the daily gloom and pessimisim I hear about the real estate market when I visit Realtor offices, … (0 comments)
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comedy: HOW IS YOUR HOUSE PERCEIVED? - 09/23/08 08:51 PM
YOUR HOUSE AS SEEN BY:
YOURSELF...
YOUR BUYER ...
YOUR LENDER...
Y
YOUR APPRAISER...
Your County Tax Assessor...
… (1 comments)
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comedy: Cheap security system - 09/22/08 07:29 PM
I got this email
on a security system and thought at first it was serious. One
of my sellers had just called me to remind me that she has a security
system in her home. Needless to say, the email peaked my
interest. After the second line, I realized it … (31 comments)
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comedy: Here's How To Get The Last Laugh On A Telemarketer! - 09/22/08 02:55 PM
WARNING! Make sure that you do not have any coffee, soda, water or any other liquids around your computer, in your hand or anywhere on your desk while you are watching and listening to this.
Last week Nestor and I were having one of those days! I was trying to get … (41 comments)
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comedy: I'm Glad I'm Not Sarah Palin's Son! - 09/18/08 10:42 AM
Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper.
These are not exactly what you'd call household names. They are unique, but not your everyday names.
But, nonetheless, these are the names of Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin's children.
I thought musician Frank Zappa naming his kids Dweezel, Ahmet Rodan and … (15 comments)
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comedy: The Cost of Oil relative to other Household products - 09/15/08 08:53 AM
You think a gallon of gas is expensive? take a look at our other household products!
Coca Cola Syrup 640oz $41.00 - $8.22 per gallon
Budweiser 12oz $0.83 - $8.88 per gallonLipton Ice Tea 16oz $1.19 - $9.52 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16oz $1.25 - … (9 comments)
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comedy: Time Management and Blogging.....I don't want to wait till 6 to share a laugh - 09/10/08 12:56 PM
It's almost 10:30am CA time, and I have been laughing for over half an hour, and want to share my new discoveries with you.....but I can't. At least not till after 6 tonight. You see I have a new Time Management Agenda, made last night after reading Clair C's Post The … (29 comments)
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comedy: Letterman on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac ... Can You Even Guess?? - 09/10/08 01:54 AM
So Renton home buyers and sellers and also my great friends on the Active Rain web network. I'm blogging along tonight and Letterman is on in the background.
Letterman says "I'm so tired of this Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac story, but it is taken care of now.... (of course I'm … (2 comments)
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comedy: A Presidential Election Ticket First-A Quick Plug - 09/03/08 09:10 AM
With all of the talk about Sarah Palin and her lack of name recognition, the media has lost focus of the most groundbreaking and significant issue at hand regarding the selection of the resapective Vice-Presidential Candidates: one of them has hair plugs, and bad ones at that. What was the mental … (5 comments)
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comedy: Statues get even - a good chuckle. - 08/30/08 08:25 PM
When I read this, I couldn't help
but laugh. Wonder where my brain was. Enjoy!
A Quickie in the Bushes
There are two
statues in a park;
one of a nude man and one
of
a nude
woman.
They
had been
facing … (10 comments)
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comedy: Missin' the Olympics? - 08/29/08 09:55 AM
Happy Friday! Are you bumming cause the Olympics are over? Me too!
I hope this video brings a smile to your face! It did mine. Kick back....Relax and have a great Labor Day Weekend!
1988 Paul Hunt Gymnastics Comedy Beam Routine-----------------------------------
Blog posted by Janice Sutton, Murrieta Temecula … (8 comments)
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comedy: Everyone needs a laugh part 2 - 08/27/08 07:23 PM
Here's the second of three parts that I hope will bring a smile to your face the next time you look at someone and they remind you of someone or something else.
If you have some that you would like to share, send them my way. I can always use a … (0 comments)
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comedy: Everyone needs a good laugh in their day! - 08/26/08 10:06 AM
Ever look at someone and see they look like someone else or even an animal?
Well, here is something that I found that I wanted to share with you in the hopes that you get a good laugh for the day.
Enjoy!
There will be two more … (0 comments)
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comedy: Where and How to Get New Ideas for Your Blog - 08/22/08 05:34 AM
Are you out of fresh ideas for your blog? Don't know what to write?
Here's a short video on where to get fresh and new ideas instantly.
Thanks for watching!
Mikewww.MyDwelling.com
… (6 comments)
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comedy: That mouse was Gigantic!! - 08/15/08 08:26 AM
I received this little
kitty picture with the caption in an email and just had to share it
with you all.
I really got a good laugh at this
one. I'm not a cat person by nature, but this little guy
really got to my heart.
… (4 comments)
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comedy: The Great Comedians - Where Have They Gone? - 08/09/08 09:05 PM
Don Knotts. Bob Hope. Tim Conway. So many others.
Legends in their time, and personal favorites of mine. I've enjoyed laughs from those three and MANY others for years, but I often wonder, are those laughs becoming a lost thing? We don't really have any comedians that I can point to … (0 comments)
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comedy: Friday Comedy Break... Funny - 08/08/08 12:58 PM
You ladies ever been in the nail shop and felt like this? I have. Thought this would be a FUN post for a Friday afternoon. This lady is so funny!
Mad TV Clip from Anjelah Johnson
She is too funny! This is the friday afternoon comedy break … (3 comments)
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comedy: Top 10 self evident things buyers should know but don't always before applying for a loan: - 08/06/08 11:34 AM
I know some of these are rediculous, but in all seriousness I have received loan applications where this information was not completed. Why? The loan originators tells me the borrower "wasn't sure". Of course this is funny, the saddest part is the loan officers actually forwarded me the apps without this … (1 comments)
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comedy: Borrowers say the craziest things. - 08/05/08 08:02 PM
Today I spoke to two different borrowers who presented me with the most insane frustrating scenarios. I had to share, because in a way I suppose its humorous.
Conversation #1:
Me: we are going to need to present your loan with a letter of explanation to the lender for the late … (16 comments)
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comedy: "The Card", This is cute. - 08/05/08 02:02 PM
So this Department of Water Resources representative stops at a TexasRanch and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher,"I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation."The old rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."The Water representative says, "Mister, I have the authority of … (1 comments)
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comedy: AGA-BOOM Theater of Physical Comedy-Moody Gardens-Galveston - 08/01/08 02:59 AM
AGA-BOOM Theater of Physical Comedy is a show for all ages and entire families, Aga-Boom magically blends the very best elements of circus, comedy and experimental theater in a manner that has yet to be seen on stage. This is one show you have to see to believe!
… (0 comments)
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comedy: Please Welcome Anders Berg to Active Rain - 07/27/08 04:48 PM
My friend Anders Berg signed up on Active Rain recently and I thought he would be posting articles about how his company Swedeclean could help you clean out your vacant rentals and get them ready for the next tenant to move in, care and cleaning of your tile and grout, and … (3 comments)
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comedy: Ahwatukee's best kept secret - 07/27/08 03:56 AM
Ahwatukee's best kept secret must be the Ahwatukee Comedy Club. It started January 2005 and almost every month the Ahwatukee Foothills News and Arizona Republic in some way is mentioning about the monthly event inside the paper.
Why do I say Ahwatukee Comedy Club might be Ahwatukee's best kept secret. Because when … (3 comments)
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comedy: Fun Things To Do Throughout The San Francisco Bay Area for August 2008 - 07/26/08 12:43 PM
One of the many things about the San Francisco Bay Area that makes it such a great place to live is all the fun things to do around here, and August 2008 is no exception. Check it out... (and this is only a sampling!)
August 1 - Downtown Sausalito's Jazz … (3 comments)
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comedy: New Topics to Write on Your Blog - 07/24/08 02:47 PM
Sometimes our minds go blank and we don't know what to write on our blogs.
Here are some ideas that might help, CLICK HERE
Have a happy day!
… (2 comments)
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comedy: Bad Agent - 07/24/08 03:56 AM
Want to see a bad agent? Click Here
Happy Selling!
… (12 comments)
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comedy: Outer Banks: Great Musical Comedy. Only 3 Shows Remaining. - 07/22/08 08:50 AM
THE DIARY OF ADAM & EVE
Great musical comedy! Smash hit!
At The Elizabethan Gardens (www.ElizabethanGardens.org)
Starring: Brian Rooney - The Lost Colony's "Old Tom" & Marsha Warren - Elizabeth R & Co's "Bloody Mary"
Tuesdays - 2:30 pm
July 22, 29, August 5 2008
The Gardens Reception Theatre Hall
Free with … (0 comments)
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comedy: Guilty or Not Guilty - 07/18/08 12:09 AM
Very Funny Jokes
Funny Jokes - Guilty or not guilty?
Guilty or Not Guilty??? You be the Judge!
Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
DA: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? … (2 comments)
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comedy: WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR CALL WHEN IT GETS "OUTSOURCED"? - 07/16/08 02:59 AM
HI ALL,
READ THE CAPTION BELOW THIS PHOTO
THIS IS INDIA, WHERE YOUR CALL GOES WHEN YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR COMPUTER.
… (3 comments)
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comedy: Had a Bad Day? - 07/09/08 05:11 PM
Video
Well, I hope that through me you can have a laugh to help you through your bad day. My day has been rather tough...not that this is a first after being in real estate and lending for 13 years I have had my fair share of deals that have not gone … (0 comments)
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comedy: Location, location, location - 06/29/08 01:02 PM
Jokes Funny
A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse with a hand-lettered “For Sale” sign out front.
After briskly introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, the agent cruised from room to room, opening closets and cupboards, testing … (5 comments)
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comedy: Moody Gardens August Special Event Spectacular-Galveston, TX - 06/28/08 11:11 PM
AGA-BOOM Theater of Physical Comedy
August 2-10
A show for all ages and entire families, AGA-Boom combines the ubridled silliness of slapstick with the theatarical expressionism and poetry of the very best in European experimental theater circus comedy. This is one show you have to see to believe!
All shows will … (0 comments)
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comedy: Moody Gardens July Special Event Spectacular-Galveston, TX - 06/28/08 10:59 PM
The Miller Magic & Comedy Show:
July 2-13
"Las Vegas" style magic and comedy show featuring large scale illusions and comedic flair. Be dazzled as audience participants disappear, levite and break up into different pieces. Incredible magic and clean comedy suitable for all audiences.
All shows will feature a 50-minute matinee … (0 comments)
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comedy: New NFL and MLB Sponsors - 06/27/08 01:29 AM
New NFL and MLB SponsorsThe National Football League (NFL) and Major League Baseball (MLB) have found themselves some new sponsors this year -- some individuals, others whole associations. These are the people and groups that have stepped up to the plate:Edgar Allan Poe - Baltimore RavensBureau of Engraving and Printing - … (0 comments)
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comedy: The Day the Laughter Died - 06/23/08 05:40 PM
Patrick J. Lambert Realtor/ Salesperson Century 21 All Islands 808-937-1188
www.patrickjlambert.com
Last night I went to sleep to the news that my favorite comedian had died, George Carlin. George Carlin was the first comedian I ever saw live. It was at the Count Basey theatre in Red Bank, New Jersey. It … (3 comments)
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comedy: Is this how you feel when you close a deal? - 06/20/08 04:18 PM
Have you seen this VIDEO?
Closing Escrow - The Movie:http://www.closingescrow.com/Closing_Escrow/Welcome.html
… (0 comments)
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comedy: Getting Old - Can You Remember? - 06/19/08 02:00 PM
You're Not Old Unless You Can Remember...
When the dream of a lifetime was to pay off a mortgage. (The dream of today is to get one.)What you do with the pointed end of a can opener.When there was no McDonalds.
When Avocado Green and Harvest Gold were acceptable colors for … (7 comments)
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comedy: Bilingual typist wanted … - 06/19/08 12:32 PM
This is from the most popular page on one of my other blogs. I have modified it to be related to real estate. Be careful what you put on your signs or you might end up in this situation. Ihope you enjoy it.
Bilingual typist
Funny Jokes
In … (1 comments)
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comedy: Blocking the View - Real Estate Jokes - 06/19/08 11:51 AM
Real Estate Jokes - Blocking the View
In Real Estate you meet a variety of interesting people.
Some are more interesting than others.
Showing a home recently to a couple, they seemed eager to check out the view from the living room.
When I pulled back the drapes covering the large … (2 comments)
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comedy: Vacation Suggestions ... By Profession - 06/19/08 11:12 AM
Vacation Suggestions ... By ProfessionArtists: Painted Desert, ArizonaAthletes: Olympia Heights, FloridaCandy Makers: Carmel, IndianaCollege Professors: University City, MissouriEcologists: Green Bay WisconsinFirefighters: The Smokey MountainsGeologists: Stone Mountain, GeorgiaGossip Columnists: Grapevine, TexasHelicopter Pilots: Hoover, AlabamaHome Builders: New Castle, PennsylvaniaJewelers: Pearl City, HawaiiLandscapers: Garden City, MichiganLawyers: Accident, MarylandLoan Officers: Fairbanks, AlaskaLumber Jacks: Thousand Oaks, … (0 comments)
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comedy: Who Says Men Don't Remember Anniversaries? - 06/16/08 12:41 PM
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, … (0 comments)
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comedy: Cowboy Coffee - 06/16/08 01:28 AM
Cowboy Coffee
I was reading this blog post Stop and Smell the coffee by Connor MACIVOR here on Active Rain and it reminded me of something my brother told me about when we were out camping one time long ago. He said that cowboys made coffee in a special way. Without … (8 comments)
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comedy: Realtors Rethink: fuel cost vs. going green - 06/13/08 03:35 PM
Hi all,
With the soaring cost of fuel out here in California, some innovative Realtors are coming up with alternate methods of transportation. Shown below is one of the latest models of "hybrid" vehicles. When most people hear the word hybrid, they think of gas/electric, but not these enterprising young … (0 comments)
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comedy: Real Estate Jokes - 06/12/08 02:04 PM
One of my other blogs is called Funny Jokes and I post funny jokes, stupid jokes and silly jokes from time to time.
I was looking at source material from our long running Funny Jokes Mailing List and came across a few real estate related jokes and decided that perhaps they … (10 comments)
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comedy: Congratulations Seniors - Now Back To Reality - 06/11/08 10:01 PM
5-11 congrats seniors
Ahhhhhh
ain't it the truth. Yesterday you were a Senior, the top of the world,
big-man-on-campus, the world was your oyster. People were telling you
about your rosy future and the opportunities open to you and what a big
wide world it is out there. There's nothing … (3 comments)
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comedy: Colin Mochrie And Brad Sherwood Comedy Show Parachute Into Houlton Maine September 6th! - 06/11/08 06:50 AM
Get a big fat crayon, and circle September 6th a bunch of times...for the Colin Mochrie & Brad Sherwood Comedy Show coming to Houlton Maine. Stars of the hit show "What's My Line Anyway" will entertain at the Millar Civic Center as one more comedy act hits Houlton Maine in … (0 comments)
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comedy: The Strangest Food You'll Never Eat - 06/10/08 05:19 PM
5-10 wierd food
So yesterday I wrote a
review of a couple
great restaurants in Sacramento which you people have not
read and commented on in droves. OK. If that's the way it's gonna be -
I know what you people want. Insightful commentary and historical
perspective is lost on … (10 comments)
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comedy: Golf Tips for Real Estate Professionals - 06/08/08 05:34 PM
If you improve your golf game will you sell more real estate?
Do you play golf as part of the necessary conduct of your real estate business? Do people you sell real estate to or buy real estate from want to talk about their latest transaction while out on the putting … (0 comments)
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comedy: Hillary news makes me feel old. - 06/01/08 03:13 PM
6-1 hillary
I've
always had trouble figuring out why the Clintons have this supposed
cachet, this feeling of entitlement and a legacy as a political
dynasty. But I read a quote today that makes it clear - 1/4 of
Americans have never known life without a Clinton either in the … (19 comments)
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comedy: When Salespeople Sell to Salespeople! ~ The Island of Realtor Moreau - 05/24/08 08:17 AM
Last night I awoke from a bone-chilling nightmare. My pajamas were soaked with sweat. My head was pounding. My wife stirred beside me and sensed I was fear-stricken.
"Are you okay? You're absolutely pale. Did you have a bad dream?"
[That's the wonderfully predictable aspect of a civil union - the … (95 comments)
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comedy: Stock Market - 05/20/08 01:32 PM
Normally I avoid discussing any advice regarding buying or Stock Market selling of stock, but I felt this is important enough to share and warn you since this explosive situation might prove to be yet another ENRON.
Please review any holdings you might have in the following stocks: American Can, Interstate Water, … (0 comments)
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comedy: Carlos Mencia making his way to Eugene, Oregon - 05/18/08 07:30 PM
Attention all you Carlos Mencia fans, I have some great news for you! Mark your calendars for October 8th, 2008. Carlos Mencia will be coming to Eugene.
Carlos will be at the Hult Center for the Perfoming Arts in the Silva Concert Hall, show starts at 7:30 p.m.
Get your tickets … (1 comments)
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comedy: Need a good laugh? - 05/15/08 07:36 AM
I found this video on YouTube, it is too funny to not share. It is short parady on Life as a Realtor. Of course you have to be able to laugh at yourself and NOT be offended.
Tricks of the trade....
Honesty and integrity...
Preparing for OPEN houses...
Location, Location, Location....
… (42 comments)
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comedy: Comedy / Tragedy It's Not Just Classic Theater - 05/14/08 01:27 PM
It is said that life imitates art and that art imitates life.
It is certainly true in our current real estate crisis.
We are experiencing real tragedy, ironic tragedy,
being upside down on a mortgage, the loss of value in some homes.
We have comedy, in the form of … (10 comments)
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comedy: Leigh's First Flight - 05/10/08 12:15 PM
Hi Everyone! I'm rushing around trying to get my business taken care of before I leave for D.C. It's time for the NAR Hill Visits and I'll be there for a week. So much to learn....so little time. Anyway, I thought this week I would share a 'funny' with you from … (2 comments)
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comedy: $50 is $50 - 05/08/08 09:44 AM
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair everyyear, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther,I'd like to ride in thathelicopter.'Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but thathelicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morrissaid, 'Esther, … (3 comments)
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comedy: Picking Pecans in the Cemetery - 05/06/08 08:29 PM
Pecans
On
the outskirts of a small town, there was a big old Pecan tree just
inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of
nuts and sat down behind the tree to divy them up.
'One for you, one for me. One
for you, one … (2 comments)
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comedy: On Second Thought Don't Relocate to New Jersey! We Got a Good Thing Going Over Here. - 04/28/08 11:23 PM
New Jersey gets a bad rap. That's why I wanted to write a "pro" New Jersey relocation blog, especially if you're interested in Monmouth County real estate. We have many hidden talents in the Garden State.
In fact, New Jersey is "the state to live" for the next 100 years (with … (43 comments)
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comedy: Is an alligator in the kitchen a selling feature? - 04/24/08 05:41 PM
Reported in Florida this week a woman found an alligator in her kitchen. It had made its way through the lanai and entered through the open kitchen door. the authourities believed the 'gator' was after the family cat Fluffy!
The emergency call center were asking questions like, how long is it and how … (5 comments)
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comedy: Revving: A Necessary Man Thing - 04/22/08 06:16 AM
Yesterday I put up some shelves. I also punched some holes in the wall. I didn't use my fist, and there was no Tequila involved, although that would be more graceful than what I did, which is lean all my weight on the drill until it slipped off the head of … (7 comments)
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comedy: You've Won an All Expense Paid Trip to I-Don't-Know Island - 04/18/08 02:29 PM
Lucky Winner!
You've been selected randomly from an elite section of the population who have habitually experienced difficulty making a decision. You've suffered silently. You've felt estranged from others. No more. Those days are over. Our group, the Make Intelligent and Nifty Decisions (M.I.N.D.) has just partnered with a luxury resort developer … (45 comments)
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comedy: $5000 For a Male Brain and $200 For a Female Brain - 04/16/08 04:05 PM
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. 'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,'he said as he surveyed the worried faces. 'The only hope left for your loved one at this time … (2 comments)
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comedy: How to Call the Police When You Are Old and Don't Move Fast Anymore - 04/16/08 04:02 PM
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden
shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw
that there were people in … (2 comments)
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comedy: Big Momma's House - 04/09/08 08:21 PM
I am a huge fan of comedy! I am a huge fan of Martin Lawrence! So this 2000 release from Twentieth Century-Fox Film Corporation was a recipe for fun. I admit the plot is a little formulaic, but would you really be renting this for the in depth plot and … (12 comments)
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comedy: One Shining Moment, One Pitiful One - 04/09/08 12:38 PM
I watched the NCAA men's basketball championship. I'm happy for Kansas. As far as states go they deserve more credit. It's just too bad they don't play their games along I-70. Afterwards, I waited for one of the players to hurt themselves while cutting down the nets. An NBA career ruined. A … (0 comments)
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comedy: Young Comedians Help Ronald McDonald House - 04/09/08 09:49 AM
On April 13, 2008, at 3:00 p.m., Theatre Three in Port Jefferson will be hosting the first annual Kids ‘N Comedy Showcase. Young comedians, ages 13 to 17, will be performing their stand-up routines to help benefit Ronald McDonald House of Long Island. These young comedians regularly perform in New York … (6 comments)
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comedy: Top This For A Speeding Ticket - 04/08/08 09:25 AM
Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill.The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began … (1 comments)
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comedy: Liars in Church - 04/07/08 11:38 AM
A Preacher finished the service one morning by saying, 'Next Sunday, I am going to preach on the subject of liars As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all to read Mark Chapter 17.' On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin. Looking out at the … (4 comments)
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comedy: To Blog or not To Blog - 04/06/08 04:42 AM
Why is there so much pressure to have the perfect thing to say in life? Why do we always think of the appropriate response in the CAR? I don't really have a lot to say at this moment other than.....SAY IT...STOP DELIBERATING...GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST. "let the cards fall where … (8 comments)
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comedy: The Fabulous Palm Springs Follies - 03/29/08 12:00 PM
The Fabulous Palm Springs Follies- my Review
Mark Hawley, 2008
Well, it was a late night last night getting home from the show of shows here in the Valley. Of course I am referring to the Fabulous Palm Springs Follies.
This year's show "Tin Pan Alley" was mesmerizing, colorful and as always entertaining … (10 comments)
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comedy: Do you have BLOGOHOLISM? - 03/28/08 05:30 AM
Five years ago or even three years ago most of us did not even know the word BLOG and now most of us brand the names of Blogoholic, blogoholism or blogger. This blog definition might explain it best. = A frequent, chronological publication of personal thoughts and Web links. A blog is often … (28 comments)
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comedy: Need a good caption for this. - 03/27/08 12:44 AM
Question ; How Much Does a House Weigh?
Answer: Just a wee bit more than a rural 2 lane bridge is designed to hold.
Hmmmmm. I can just hear all you sharpy Realtors now putting your thinking caps on for a catchy ad title -
'EZ Street Access'
'Enjoy the Babbling Stream right … (13 comments)
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comedy: Funny Hahaahaa Raiser! - 03/25/08 09:57 PM
Every Nations Funny-Raiser is just around the corner! Guaranteed laughs for anyone who attends. This year there will be a comedy concert for the second half and it will have you in stitches. If you need a night out and want to support a great ministry this is your chance! The night of fun will take … (4 comments)
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comedy: What Happens When You Get Older - 03/24/08 02:31 PM
One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. … (3 comments)
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comedy: Why We Love Kids - 03/24/08 02:29 PM
1) NUDITYI was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing … (2 comments)
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comedy: I Got Your Momma - 03/20/08 12:31 PM
Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. She had … (1 comments)
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comedy: 3 year old's trip to the potty with mommy - 03/14/08 02:35 PM
… (1 comments)
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comedy: Curtain Rods--Priceless - 03/14/08 02:33 PM
CURTAIN RODS----PRICELESS She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, … (2 comments)
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comedy: Thoughts To Ponder - 03/14/08 02:30 PM
It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
You are not drunk if you can lie on the floorwithout holding on.
We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of "smart"?
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
A fool and his money can throw one … (3 comments)
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comedy: It's 3am in The White House... - 03/10/08 10:19 PM
Yes it's 3am in the White House... and a SNL phone is ringing....
I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
(Copyright © 2008 By Simon L Conway All Rights Reserved.)
Please give me a call if you have questions about the Central Florida real … (12 comments)
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comedy: Little girl on the plane - 03/10/08 11:26 AM
Little girl on the plane A stranger was seated next to a little girl on anairplane. When the plane took off and settled intoits climb, the stranger turned to the little girland said:: 'I've always found that flights goquicker if you strike up a conversation with yourfellow passenger. 'The little girl, who … (2 comments)
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comedy: When Grandma Goes To Court - 03/10/08 11:14 AM
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been … (1 comments)
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comedy: Bull Mating - 03/10/08 10:48 AM
My wife and I went to the rodeo and one of the
first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.
We went up to the first pen and there was a sign
attached that said;
'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR.
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs … (4 comments)
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comedy: Married, dating, going to date, whatever, this play is for you! (Defending the Caveman) - 03/08/08 03:56 PM
Nothing makes me feel better than when a client gives me a gift. It tells me I'm doing something right, but the gift that I was given last night CHANGED MY LIFE! You see my client gave me tickets to the longest running one man show on Broadway, "Defending the Caveman", … (10 comments)
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comedy: Family Tree - 03/07/08 09:36 AM
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race come about?"The mother answered: "God made Adam and Eve and theyhad children and so all mankind was made."Two days later she asks her father the same question.The father answered: "Many years ago there weremonkeys, and we developed from … (0 comments)
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comedy: Hell Explained By A Chemistry Student - 03/06/08 12:39 PM
HELL EXPLAINED BY a CHEMISTRY STUDENT:
The following is an actual question given on University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as … (1 comments)
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comedy: Top 10 Dog Peeves - 03/05/08 01:42 PM
Top 10 Peeves Dogs Have With Humans1. Blaming your farts on me..... not funny... not funny at all!2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?4. Any trick that involves balancing food … (1 comments)
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comedy: Blonde Goes Ice Fishing - 03/05/08 01:40 PM
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject And, finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE … (0 comments)
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comedy: I'm having trouble getting lending. - 03/04/08 12:02 PM
Is there anyone out there that can help me with financing. We are having extreme trouble finding financing for a fantastic McMansion that my clients just can't live without.
Please help us figure out how to put this package together. I can tell you it won't be easy but I think if we … (13 comments)
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comedy: Be Kind Rewind - 02/29/08 10:47 PM
This is another film from director of whimsy Michel Gondry. He also did Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind as well as the more recent Science of Sleep. The latter is online in it's entirety. Have fun accessing that wacky movie here.
For the more user-friendly Be Kind Rewind, Gondry … (4 comments)
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comedy: This Is Of Utmost Importance If You Value Your Computer!! - 02/28/08 04:17 PM
If you don't take advantage of this, don't say I didn't warn you. It is my service to you today:
Service Bulletin: Certain compounds used to manufacture the electronics inside a computer monitor can leach out over time and cause a dirty film to form on the INSIDE of most computer screens. Users often do … (14 comments)
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comedy: older lady speeding - 02/28/08 09:06 AM
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost … (1 comments)
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comedy: Male or Female - 02/27/08 05:16 PM
Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a … (4 comments)
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comedy: Funny - 02/27/08 10:11 AM
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, 'You know … (1 comments)
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comedy: Howdy NOOBS. Here's your sign. - 02/25/08 01:00 PM
I've been on AR for 6 or 7 months now and, while I wouldn't call myself an addict, I certainly enjoy the time here, have learned a lot, have made a few friends and actually been contacted by members of the (gasp) public as a result of my blogs. No money … (6 comments)
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comedy: Women's Council Of Realtors Eldorado March 21st 11:30AM - Cameron Park Country Club - 02/25/08 08:18 AM
Discover how laughter and humor can work to your advantage when dealing with the seemingly unfunny business of balancing risk and managing change. Learn how flexibility and responsiveness are critical qualities for thriving in a world of ever-accelerating change.This fun, innovative seminar also explores how the successful use of humor can … (2 comments)
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comedy: Howdy NOOB. Here's your sign. - 02/21/08 09:04 PM
I've been on AR for 6 or 7 months now and, while I wouldn't call myself an addict, I certainly enjoy the time here, have learned a lot, have made a few friends and actually been contacted by members of the (gasp) public as a result of my blogs. No money … (16 comments)
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comedy: Valentine's Day in Summit County, what a joke! - 02/18/08 11:12 AM
There are a lot of activities in Summit County any time of year.
Holidays are no exception. Valentine's Day in Summit County held many options for sweethearts. Your choices included dining at one of many Summit County restaurants, ice skating at Keystone, or Valentine's Day Comedy at the Silverthorne Pavilion.
Jason, my Valentine, … (3 comments)
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