It's funny how the mind works. We all form mental pictures of what we think someone will look like. That's why a movie of a good book rarely meets our expectations.
You see, I had spoken to her on the phone several times. We had established a good rapport. She had contacted me via an on-line real estate referral service and was traveling to Grand Rapids to start a new life.
With heart breaking honesty, she shared the difficulty of the past year with the passing of her husband and the challenges she had faced. Her voice played out an image in my mind...young, perhaps mid 30's, long dark hair, tallish, engagingly vulnerable, sweet & now...engaged to be married again.
They walked into my office, hesitant...seemingly unsure of where they were. There were three of us waiting to meet them; a new trainee, the mortgage officer and myself. We knew there would be some credit repair issues and I'd invited the trainee to be a part of the process as she would eventually be handling the file.
They seemed a little overwhelmed..."Now, which one of you is Lola?" I stepped forward and re-introduced myself; it must have seemed to them that we were all talking at once. The mind makes quick adjustments. Definitely not youngish...She had a sweet girlish quality about her face, but appeared more mature than her voice suggested. He, a portly, middle aged man seemed wary. It became rapidly obvious that he did not want to be there.
Laurie, the loan officer started the interview.He interrupted her. He needed to tell her his story. It started with these words, "Nothing ever works out for me, every place I have been to has denied my loan, nobody has ever been willing to give me a chance and I'm sure you are all here to do a song and dance and then come back and tell me you can't help me, so I'm telling you right now..."
We were all startled; the credit file remained unopened as we stared at him trying to reprocess again...just who was sitting in front of us. After significant effort, Laurie, an experienced loan officer got him calmed down, but he remained extremely agitated. I sat back to observe, stunned by the juxtaposition of two sets of assumptions. Mine, contoured by what I imagined about the voice on the phone and his imagining the results of our meeting based on seemingly numerous experiences in the past. We were both way off!
Finally, I interrupted the jousting. Cutting in on yet another negative monologue, I said to him..."This isn't working for you is it, this story you insist on telling everyone? If it was, you'd have your house by now". He was startled momentarily and then admitted sheepishly..."No, it's not working for me. I do it because I don't want to be hurt anymore and want to protect myself".
I replied, "well, you've been creating your own reality. You expect to be denied and lo and behold the lie that you have manufactured in your mind about your inability to get a home even though you have an excellent job has become true for you." The air in his hot air rant, evaporated revealing beneath the bombast and suspicion a man who was looking at something truly scary...the prospect of regaining control of his own life and destiny and eschewing the easy route of blame and supposed bad fortune.
After the meeting that night, as I relaxed at home, I got a call from my sister reminding me to watch Oprah's program about her academy in South Africa. As we watched the show, my husband and I were entranced by the power and courage these young women displayed.
In spite of incredible obstacles; homes with no running water or toilet facilities, dangerous routes to get to school, loss of parents, and extreme poverty, these young ladies exuded a brilliance in courage and hope so bright it was breathtaking. Not, at all what I had expected when I saw the promo for the show. I hadn't so much formed a picture in my mind as I had a lowered my expectations.
Once, again my expectations were off the mark. These young women defied you to pity them...they considered themselves blessed and fully expect to transform the world. How different from the limited pictures in my mind of another poor Africa story replete with western salvation in the form of a generous aid package. Oprah summed up what many must have felt who watched that broadcast, she said "I came her to give to you, but you have given me so much more".
So here, in one evening, I saw it clearly.There are two types of poverty that we tend to focus scant attention on... poverty of Spirit and Poverty of the Mind. Just as physical impoverishment depletes life's promise, poverty of Spirit and Mind also clamp their ugly vice grip to squash out life's potential, only the mechanism by which it manifests is different - they rape the soul of hope.
In the western world, we tend to function on the assumption that as long as there is access to material comforts and the trappings of modernity, human beings will be OK. That's not necessarily true. I met a man last night whose spirit had been so impoverished and malnourished that he was barely able to even contemplate the prospect of financial prosperity. He had allowed his belief in a lie to rob his future to the point where even protestations to the contrary by a professional who could lead him to success were barely heard. As I listened to the stories that the girls in Oprah's academy shared, I was struck by the contrast, they were poor on the outside, but had the stuff of true riches were it counts the most...in their hearts.
Update: This blog post was originally published in 2007. I wish I could say that I was reporting a good ending to this story. The couple contacted us a few more times, but didn't follow through and eventually went on their way. Expectations are powerful...
A few years ago, I received an unusual housewarming gift. It was wrapped within a tastefully crafted large gift bag. Inside, the bag was filled with solid, dark mahogany stained wood hangers. They were beautiful, but I was a tad perplexed. I had plenty of hangers...all sorts; wire rimmed hangers, clear plastic hangers from clothes bought at the store, padded hangers, solid plastic hangers, paper covered hangers from the dry cleaners & even some wooden hangers...
My friend politely explained her gift. She said, "Lola, you have moved into such a beautiful home. Everything in your home seems to match your gracious decor. Except, when you took our coats to hang them, I noticed that the hangers in your closet didn't match your house. So, I bought you some new hangers."
I really hadn't paid much attention to my hangers; after all, they were hidden in my closet and glimpsed only for a few moments when I took one out to hang a coat. But, the principle behind the gift got me to thinking...how many mis-matched items were still hanging around in my life even as I had moved on?
In fact, most of the hangers in my closet were simply items that I had randomly collected from a variety of sources. As long as they hung clothes, who cared what they looked like. But upon reflection, I had to admit, some of them did a much better job of preserving my clothes than others. In fact, some of the hangers actually ended up mis-shaping garments that were placed on them.
I'm thinking about how this relates to life. How often do we continue to 'carry around' all sorts of things and people contacts which are no longer active or vibrant in our lives? To what extent are we filling the closets of our lives with issues that no longer resonate with the direction in which we desire to move?
Hanger picture is courtesy of aldrin muya's photostream on flickr.
Grand Rapids, MI agents don't have to wait for the yearly announcement of the 'Good Neighbor Award' to support and celebrate one of our own local Realtors®. It's wonderful to live in a community in which so many individuals give of their time and talents to serve our local community.
I recently completed a transaction with Sue; one which took about 3 months to negotiate. It was really refreshing to work with a professional. One of the unanticipated results of our 'extended deal' was that I became aware of Sue's interest in helping people in an impoverished area of South Africa become self-sustaining by starting a business. The initiative is Vox Threads.
Here's a few excerpts from Sue's letter about the project:
The initiative is basically set up to help impoverished communities like Kliptown to be able to produce sustainable income for their livelihood ( food, clothing, water, electricity, and schooling for the children etc.)
The intention of Vox Threads is to work with the men and women in these communities and set up an ongoing (assembly line type) of sewing business. We will teach them how to sew and how to market the products.
We will be setting up sewing stations with work teams, finding out what skills people have, teaching them the skills they need and helping them produce the products for market. We will also set up teams for marketing the product. There are various markets they can bring them to in SA. We are excited too that we have a number of stores here in the US that have already committed to carrying the products here as well.
The people in Kliptown are so excited to begin the initiative and to have the opportunity to produce income.
We are excited to bring the people of Kliptown this hope of income but we are even more excited to share with them the HOPE that is inside our hearts- that is the Love and Eternal HOPE of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour.
This is quite an expensive undertaking for Sue and her family. Her daughter is also accompanying her on the trip. They are not only raising money for the trip (ariline tickets have recently increased significantly), but are also buying equipment when they get to South Africa.
If you'd like to know more about Vox Threads or would be interested in supporting this mission, please contact Sue Prins @ sueprins@grar.com
Additional Support Information for Sue Prins Vox United Trip:
Tax deductible contributions can be made by check to VOX United. It is very important however that it is written in the memo where you want your contribution to go. If you want it to go towards sewing kits write "Vox threads sewing kits" in the memo
If you wish to support me and my daughter's trip expenses you will need to write "Vox threads
I just read a post by Sally Cheeseman that stopped me in my tracks. Sally quotes Qunicy Jones in an interview about Michael Jackson.
Quincy goes on to say:
You have to be spiritually grounded and you are really a terminal for a higher power,
And if you don't understand that, you know, it can be very complicated.
And.....I've seen a lot of people misinterpret what success is all about.
One online descriptive defines a terminal in the following way: "a contact on an electrical device (such as a battery) at which electric current enters or leaves." If a terminal is not grounded, the results can be disasterous and even fatal, because the electricity which is passing through the unit is so incredibly powerful.
Had you ever thought about how powerful the breath of life in you is? Every human being is an expression of the Divine power of God. Every gift and talent is an expression of His creative genius and inspiration.
It occurs to me that being grounded spiritually has it's base in humility; an understanding that whatever gifts and advantages we bring to this planet are a gift that simply flows through us...not a possession which we own. Humilty also serves to protect us from being blown away by hype, which will topple you over as quickly as it lifts you up with hot air.
Understanding this, as Quincy says makes all the difference in the world.
In a real estate market in which strange sometimes competes with downright wierd and just plain freaky as descriptive of the myriad of things that can happen in a transaction, one of the most interesting developments lately has been increased number of homes which are being advertized in the 'Negative'.
Negative as in...
This home is NOT bank owned
This home is NOT in a short sales
This home will NOT require you to deal with anyone other than a single party home owner trying to sell their home!
As weary buyers deal with sales (i.e. many short sales) that take forever (90 - 180 days) and bidding wars for homes which are severely under valued for quick sale during distress sales, some potential buyers are actually shying away from transactions which create more stress in what is typically already a challenging process.
If you're a home owner in Grand Rapids, MI who has been wondering if the tide may be shifting and would like to know what your home is valued for in today's market, you may have a unique selling proposition if selling your home will not require negotiation with a bank in addition to yourself. To make this determination, you will need a detailed price evaluation of your home and neighborhood.
We're rapidly selling our inventory and would love to talk with you about how our marketing strategies and online marketing can help you to MOVE to your next home. So give us a call, you might be pleasantly surprised by what you hear. (info@auduhomes.com or 616-791-0511)
Visit Audu Real Estate to view our current inventory and pre-view all the homes listed for sale in the Grand Rapids Association of Realtors® MLS database.
Yesterday, the world learned of the passing of two legends...Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. Although their lives were very different, they both lived in the glare of the spotlight and endured the best and worst elements of what that entails.
While superstars live center stage in a larger than life fashion, what strikes me is the deep drive and desire for recognition that exists in all of us. We all come into the world with a desire to be somebody.
Life plays out our personal dramas. As I look back in light of recent events, I wonder to what extent we really are more in a search for significance and affirmation than recognition and fame...
*Post below initially posted in July 2008
Most of us emerge on planet earth with all the stridency that our 8 to 9 pounds of flesh can muster. So much so that the infant who emerges without a lusty yell is promptly spanked on the rump to produce one. After all...one has arrived. Say so!
Sideline living is against the grain of human ego. A newborn baby in a household quickly demands just about everyones' waking and non-waking moments. While we relish the joy of observing the expansion of new life in a newborn, this quickly becomes old by the time the child hits the terrible twos. Who can blame the toddler? Relinquishing prime real estate territory at 'the center of a universe of ONE' cannot be easy.
But, I suspect that the inclinations of the toddler do not fully disappear. In most of us, they simply retreat underground; temporarily masked by the need to adhere to social norms but always eager to assume center stage if and when the opportunity arises. A silent witness to the most debilitating form of human suffering...the deep yearning to be given permission to live life with gusto.
Several years ago, I wrote a devotional which I shared with some staff members at a local church. The mediation was entitled "Living in the Margins." At the time, we were attending a church which had gone through a number of significant transitions which had left many feeling somewhat fragmented emotionally and spiritually. It was a feeling of disconnection and disorientation...a struggle to regain ones' footing; to reclaim ones' place.
It was around Easter and I was drawn to the story of the Crucifixion of Jesus from a perspective that I had never considered before. I began to study the sideline characters in this well known narratives ...the possible stories of individuals who garnered few eloquent sermons. These ordinary folks whose contributions remain on the sideline of of the most important titanic drama in human history.
It was their stories that engaged the imagination of my mind...
I started thinking about what it must have been like to be merely passing through Jerusalem and then suddenly conscripted, without the benefit of hire, to carry the cross of a man who was stumbling to His the death like an ordinary criminal.
Then there was Pilate's wife, a well to do lady. She had a nightmare about the man her husband was about to sentence to death. This nighttime terror haunted her soul's dreams and forced an urgent entreaty to warn Pilate about her apprehension.
Witness the women who were considered as little more than chattel to be owned by men...following at a distance, and watching the last gasping breath of the Son of God.
I thought of a rich man who gave up his burial plot for a bruised body to be laid...a body which had been publicly scorned by passersby.
As my thoughts wove around the potential stories of these individuals, I was struck by the remarkable experiences that were only available outside the crowded confines of the scriptural text. Lives whose contributions emerged within the margins and not on the central stage.
It was their position at the sidelines which afforded them the benefit of these unique and extraordinary moments.
But, why is it that so often we yearn for the extraordinary but strive to find it within the crowded confines of the norm? The middle place, the popular position, the cursed bane of compromise which robs us our uniqueness while promising us safety in numbers?
It is in this place of false security that we pay with hands outstretched; fiercely grasping the awful price required for our souls. Unaware that it is the one thing for which no earthly compensation is large enough to ransom.
In this trade, the devil laughs at our naivete. For he knows that we have not outgrown the proclivities of that tempestuous toddler, we have merely traded the newborns' scream for a dull, blunted soul searing roar.
A meager return for an immortal life which entered the world unfettered, knowing that the cry which brought it here was never meant to be imprisoned within the limiting confines of conformity. Nor could it be lulled by the lust for the limiting essential nature of personal fame. (italics added 2009)
And inside, the scream continues unabated...unheard by human ears, reeling with staggered desperation within the human heart. For it knows that it was sent on a unique mission. The scream bears silent witness to the inner desire to complete our unique mission in life with integrity, knowing that we enter into this life alone...and we we are all destined to leave it in the same fashion.
***********
Michael Jackson & Farah Fawcett...May their souls rest in peace.
Mouth picture courtesy of Phineas H's photostream on flickr.com
This entry is part of a larger series entitled..."What it Means..."
The story of the Crucifixion can be found in the Gospels of Mathew, Mark, Luke & John
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Just over three years ago, a select group of brokers and agents in Grand Rapids, Michigan got together in a conference room at the local board. They had been tasked by the Board of Directors to study and make recommendations about a problem which seemed to be mushrooming across the local community. Foreclosure and Short Sales has jumped from being barely a bleep in the statistics to trending into the double digits over 10%.
As values tumble, the challenge of selling a home for a good price particularly in the luxury home market requires some special skills. Let's highlight a few areas in which a home owner can make significant strides towards ensuring that their home is more likely to provoke a second showing encounter!
Know Your Market!
Do you know who your clients are? Where are they likely to come from and what their motivation for buying will be?
It is a loose rule of thumb to estimate that the average move-up buyer will be purchasing a home at a price range which is approximately 50% above their current home value. So for instance, if your home is priced at $500,000, your buying pool will come from the $325,000 price range. It is prudent to make sure that you and your agent have a handle on the inventory and sale prices of the homes which will be likely to provide a source of buyer leads for your sale.
Present Properly!
I continue to marvel at the number of homes in the higher price ranges which don't have ANY pictures online or very poor quality shots. With record levels of consumers searching online and skyrocketing gas prices, it is a real disservice to your home not to have it marketed in the venue which drives the most traffic...online marketing.
Now, even the best photographer will be hard pressed to deal with a poorly staged and cluttered dwelling. If you're serious about selling a high end home, you'll have to put significant effort into making sure that your home stands out. Luxury homes should be artfully staged. They should also be clean, clutter free and available for showings. Recognize that a little inconvenience may be necessary to accommodate serious buyers. If you're in the market to sell, remain ready to show!
Price to Sell!
In the past 24 months, I have witnessed more multiple offer situations than at any other time in my career. Bidding wars are occurring on homes which are perceived to be a good value. A well know agent in our area recently made a comment that went something like this...'if money is not an issue, there is not enough quality inventory in the area.' This means that luxury homes which are staged, presented and priced competitively are still in demand.
Be Irresistible!
Remain irresistible and memorable! While staging your home correctly will increase the chance that your home will linger in the buyer's memory as they trudge through multiple home showings, being irresistible will make people stop and THINK about why they really can't afford to miss out on a deal!
Creative incentives when coupled with strategic pricing can make a real difference when it comes to selling luxury homes. We've witnessed home owners paying for 6 months of the buyer's mortgage payment or throwing in high end upgrades and even cars. While this may seem outlandish, when you consider that many home owners are reducing prices by $100,000 or more to entice an offer, it may be cheaper to be generous up front!
When You're Ready to Move...
Select the right agent! A good agent will provide a comprehensive market analysis and pricing strategy. This plan should include advertising your home online in a number of popular real estate portals in addition to traditional advertising mediums. In today's media savvy marketplace, the competition is driven by value and presentation.
If selling your luxury dwelling will require the negotiation of a Short Sale, it is critically important that you deal with an agent who has successfully handled transactions which involve negotiations with lenders who are owed more than the sale of your home can support. Don't saddle your sale with additional baggage by not entrusting your negotiation to a proven professional.
Just over three years ago, a select group of brokers and agents in Grand Rapids, Michigan got together for series of meetings. They had been tasked by the Grand Rapids Association Board of Directors to study and make recommendations about a problem which seemed to be mushrooming across the local community. Foreclosure and Short Sales had jumped from being barely a bleep in the statistics to trending into the low double digits.
Although, few of us in the room could have envisioned where this assignment would take us, I vividly recall gasping when someone suggested that we might just be seeing the tip of the iceberg and that delinquency rates might be over 60% in the future.
Over the past 12 months as foreclosure and short sale rates in our local market have jumped to encompass up to 70% of the reported sales, one thing has become patently clear...foreclosures are impacting EVERY price range and some analyst predict that the higher end homes may comprise more of the foreclosure/short sale market in the next wave.
The Luxury Challenge...
High end homes face a unique set of challenges in this market. With the U.S. economy in a financial slow down, the rate of job loss has been very severe for many with managerial and professional skills.
The biggest challenge faced by homeowners in the luxury market is the inability of homeowners to clear their debt obligations through the sale of their home.
Greg Carlson, the 2009 President of the Grand Rapids Association or Realtors recently commented on the fact that over half the membership on our board had not made a single sale in 2009 (we're currently midway through the year) and only 200 agents had sold more than ten homes!
This underscores the real difficulty even professionals face in successfully selling a home today as banks deal with huge inventories of foreclosures and patience runs thin for home buyers skittish about taking risks.
Although recent incentives for first time home buyers have helped to bolster the lower priced homes, these incentives have not benefited sellers who need to sell luxury homes. In addition, many move-up buyers may not be able to sell their homes or may be struggling with financial obligations due to the credit and job crisis.
Soaring Delinquencies...
As delinquencies soar, a recent Business Week(June 15, 2009) article quotes a May 28 report from the Mortgage Banker's Association which highlights the threat "
For the first time since the rapid growth of subprime lending, prime fixed-rate loans now represent the largest share of new foreclosures...Nearly 13% of loans were delinquent or in foreclosure, the most since the bakers started keeping tabs in 1972." David Crowe, chief economist of the National Association of Homebuilders does not see this peak cresting until 2011.
The good news is that homes in Grand Rapids, MI and other areas across the country are still selling and this includes some high end homes. Selling a high end home in this market will require a good handle on the fundamentals of pricing strategy and also an appreciation for some of the emerging new avenues for marketing in a global arena.
In a perfect world, we would all know everything there was to know about everything and everybody...right?
If you answered affirmatively to that statement, it's likely that you were born in the late 80's or sometime thereafter and are a part of Generation Y also referred to as the Millennial Generation. If you're a Gen Xer or Baby Boomer, you're more likely to squirm. Something about that statement feels intrusive...
In "Born Digital", John Palfrey explores how Gen Y's are changing the world. The worldview of the Digital Native is impacting critical aspects of everyday life. Recently, I watched a speech Palfrey made at the Google Headquarters on C-Span. He highlighted some interesting observations which included:
1. Identity is no longer just a physical entity; it's also digital
2. Digital identity has multiple expressions
It can be 'collapsed' over multiple platforms to create a composite
3. Convergence means that in the flattened world, your personal info is always on your person
4. Research now assumes a search online...Google searches vs the library
5. "Deep Diving" through linking allow for much more information to be quickly evaluated
6. The "expert opinion" is not necessarily the most trusted opinion. Peer evaluation is important
Born Digital...
When you think about it, just about everything a young person encounters today in the western world has a digital stamp, starting from the first sonogram image and continuing into online school records, sporting activities, social media, blogs and gaming.
If these digital records are combined with readily available public records (for example address, tax information, legal data), it is possible to create a suprisingly robust personal profile.
Gen Y's have lived with this reality their entire lives. Many of them cannot fathom a world view in which exposure from every angle is not the norm.
The Challenge of Change...
Although Gen Y's were raised by Gen Xers and Baby Boomers, the older generation has been a little slow to grasp the enormity of the change which is rapidly occurring in every segment of life. The real estate profession provides many examples of this failure to grasp the rapidly emerging reality of the impact of the flattened life.
Why Real Estate will not be an exception...
One arena in which this new focus may redefine who derives the most benefit in a flattened world is in the area of online ratings, a practise which is as ubiquitous as water or air.
In the flattened world, EVERYTHING is rated and judged...comments, ideas, people, pictures, products, services by EVERYONE. (I say everyone in the sense that although not everyone is judging, the vast majority of individuals are checking the ratings of a variety of items/issues to help inform decision making on a regular basis.)
For real estate agents, is is wise to anticipate that in a flattened world, your clients will be forming impressions about you and the home they are purchasing with information garnered from a variety of sources. Here are some of the ways in which a flattened world may intrude on a world in which the authority structure has traditionally resembled a pyramid. Consider the implications of rating services.
Agent Rating Services:
Does your broker have an agent evaluation system in place for each transaction?
Does Your Multiple Listing Service provide a public agent rating tool?
Do you have a Google alert in place to monitor online conversation about you or your brokerage?
Do you have profiles on major consumer sites such as Facebook, Linked In, Zillow, Trulia?
If your clients make judgements from online information, how might this impact your business?
And your home listing...
In addition, it is not too far fetched to imagine a world in which homes will also be rated. A world in which the views of individuals who have toured the home or know the neighborhood will have their comments indexed along the URL's of the listing agents' promotional website.
Moving further into the future, one may imagine a transaction in which even the items in the home can be researched for their longetivity and reliability. Afterall, data on most appliances can already be found easily online.
Would it make sense for real estate professionals to provide this data to prospective clients along with a Home Warranty as a part of full disclosure? Who knows where all this will eventually lead, but one thing is certain...we are moving into a new type of flattened territory which will challenge and collapse many traditionally excepted norms. Are you ready?
Grand Rapids, Michigan real estate information including houses for sale, rent and home buyer/seller tips. Also includes wisdom and insights from Lola Audu, CRS Associate Broker.
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Disclaimer: ActiveRain Corp. does not necessarily endorse the real estate agents, loan officers and brokers listed on this site. These real estate profiles, blogs and blog entries are provided here as a courtesy to our visitors to help them make an informed decision when buying or selling a house. ActiveRain Corp. takes no responsibility for the content in these profiles, that are written by the members of this community.
It's funny how the mind works. We all form mental pictures of what we think someone will look like. That's why a movie of a good book rarely meets our expectations. 
support and celebrate one of our own local Realtors®. It's wonderful to live in a community in which so many individuals give of their time and talents to serve our local community. 
Yesterday, the world learned of the passing of two legends...Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. Although their lives were very different, they both lived in the glare of the spotlight and endured the best and worst elements of what that entails.
that so often we yearn for the extraordinary but strive to find it within the crowded confines of the norm? The middle place, the popular position, the cursed bane of compromise which robs us our uniqueness while promising us safety in numbers?
Born Digital...
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