One last chuckle for the week. - 01/31/10 06:46 PM
I won't be so bold as to say why, but this hits really close to home today. Way to close!
A man sobering up after a long night of partying is sitting in church and finds the sermon very boring. He is having a hard time staying awake and finally nods off.
The minister noticing this from the start decides to make an example of him. At the end of the sermon, he says...
"Everyone who wants a place in heaven, stand up." All but the sleeping man stands.
Then in a very loud voice the minister bellows..." all who want
In Minnesota, it's SEED CATALOG time. :-) - 01/31/10 06:11 PM
Last It is time to plan the garden! Time to look at the catalogs and review what grew well and what didn't. what did we have enough of and what did we give most of away. (not that sharing is a bad thing).
My Grand Daughter decided that she wanted some of my old seeds. "Your garden grew much better than dad's" she said. "Yes it did, that is because I have magic!" was my reply.
The truth is that gardening is a passion for some people. While I have a basic idea what I am doing this year, some
I will add this guy to my 'Go To' list! - 01/30/10 08:17 PM
I needed some plumbing done on a property that we bought. We found a local guy, (we stay local whenever possible). A master plumber working for himself with no employees.
Steve and his wife own Drip Drop plumbing. I called and told him what we needed. He came out gave a bid and did the work the next day as promised.
Then the invoice arrived....UNDER HIS ESTIMATE!!!!
When was the last time you had that happen. He did all the work he promised and still billed us less than what he quoted.
Steve did a fantastic job. Neat as a pin
Which Sahara? - 01/29/10 07:28 PM
It has been a great week. For that reason, A think a smile is in order. An elderly gentleman I met at the Bakery told me this story putting himself in it....
A large lumber camp advertised for a good lumberjack. There was a knock at the head lumberjacks door. When he opened the door there I stood ax in hand.
"What in the world do you want?"
"I am here for the job you advertised", I replied.
"Hell, you nothing but a popcorn fart, GO AWAY!" yelled the head lumberjack.
I retorted, "You mean you are going to discriminate against me
Yes Dear! - 01/27/10 09:50 PM
These are the two words for a Man's happiness in marriage. I was told this from most every older male in my family. This is one way to accomplish this...
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Grandpa Jones was celebrating his 100th Birthday. Everyone complimented on how athletic he looked at his
Vikings lose to the Saints. - 01/24/10 09:33 PM
Kudos to the Saints on a game well played. They fought hard and never gave up.
To the Vikings, THANKS for the great year. It is hard to win a game with 5 turnovers, but at the end of regulation...it was tied.
This is the Saints first trip to the Big Show. I wish them all the Best!
Goodbye Ugly Suit. - 01/24/10 06:27 PM
Ever notice how some people are born salesmen. "He could sell ice to the Eskimo's" Is one of my Dad's sayings. Well, When I was sent this one, I new I had to share.
When the manager returned from lunch he sees his clerk's hand all bandaged up. The clerk had some very good news for him.
"Guess what sir, I finally sold that terrible ugly suit we have had for so long."
"You mean that Pink and Blue double breasted thing," replied the manager.
"That's the one!"
"That is great," said the manager, "I didn't think that we would ever
Oh, I think he knows the answer! - 01/23/10 08:30 PM
I was driving on the freeway in Wyoming, Minnesota. A billboard caught my eye, and I wish I had not been driving. I had to go back today during rain and sleet to get a picture.
This IS a real Billboard and not just a photo shop version.
I had to post it here for I know many of you will get a hoot out of it as I did.
And just so everyone knows, this was taken from the service road next to the freeway!
It is hard to make that man happy! (a bit of humor) - 01/21/10 06:22 PM
My dad is my best friend. Always has been, just when I was young , I didn't realize it. We were talking about the olden days not long a go and about all the dumb things that had happened. It brought to mind this story...
Will had overturned his wagon of corn. The Farmer who lived nearby heard the commotion dn yelled...
"He Will, come on over here and for get your troubles."
Will replied, "That is mighty nice of you, but I don't think that Pa would like it very much."
"Aw, come on, it'll be OK."
"Well, OK", said
Do you find everyone calls at once? - 01/21/10 05:41 PM
Never fails...if the phone rings with a new client, while you are talking the phone will again beep and there will be another call.
Now, Don't get me wrong....I will take all of these calls, but does it not make you wonder, why?
Have you ever seen, a small store with no one inside when you get there but 4 more people walk in right behind you.
Or, you head for the empty checkout and 3 people get there just in front of you.
Is it just me? :-)
It is never to early to plan. - 01/20/10 04:50 PM
This statement is so true in many aspects of our lives. I was out Ice Fishing last weekend. When I got home, my new Bass Masters Magazine was waiting for me. After reading it from cover to cover...I started to make my list of the soft water season.
In the mean time, My brother sent this cute story...
A dad was taking his son fishing. They were out in the garden digging some worms, when the boy picked up a creature with all kinds of legs.
"Look at this one," he proudly showed his dad.
"He's pretty cool," Dad replied, "But
We all like to think that we get better. (Friday Humor) - 01/15/10 08:12 AM
It is true. We all like to think we get better with age, or experience. It isn't always true, but why crash the party.This little ditty caught my funny bone. hope you enjoy.
At the dinner table one night the wife commented..."When we were first married, you would give me the bigger steak and take the smaller one for yourself. Now, you take the bigger one and leave me with the small one. Why is that? Don't you love me?"
To which the husband replied..."Nonsense, I still Love you. You just cook much better now!"
I WOULD BE SLEEPING ON THE
Have all the "Good" deals gone the way of the Dinosaurs? - 01/14/10 11:43 AM
This is a very good question. I have been asked this by several people and my answer is...
Not Yet, BUT...the really good deals are fading fast. We are seeing more multiple offers and right now if you snooze...you lose!!!
Also, don't forget the up to $8,000 credit for first time buyers. You need a contract in force by April 30 2010.
Those of you who have a home you are selling, there is also a maximum of $6500 credit for you.
Act now and your dream home could be a real steal when you look back in a few years!
A bit of Humor to finish the day! - 01/13/10 03:40 PM
For those wondering...I have changed the characters to protect the not so innocent! It is that time of the day for a smile! :-)
A Blonde walks into a store and asked the keeper..."Do you have any grapes?"
"No I don't" replied the shop keeper.
The next day the blonde shows up, "Do you have any grapes?"
"No," was the reply. Again the next day the blonde shows up
"Do you have any grapes"?
Now getting irate the shop keeper yelled..."NO! And if you ask me again, I am going to nail you to the wall."
The following day the blonde
Are you worried about Tomorrow? - 01/13/10 03:01 PM
I hear it all the time. Everyone is planning on tomorrow. They plan everything around tomorrow hoping that tomorrow will be better than today. I see many planning so hard that they forget about TODAY!
Opportunities stand right in from of them to take advantage of, yet they are not seen because they are worried about "tomorrow".
It is OK to worry about tomorrow, just don't FORGET about TODAY!
Don't worry about tomorrow! After all, today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday!
Why do most new laws just apply the the average 'Joe'? - 01/12/10 10:49 PM
Now when I say Average Joe, I mean the American people. Many laws come down, but our elected officials don't have to participate or sometimes abide by them. if you are a foreign dignitary, many and most traffic laws don't apply. "Diplomatic Immunity" (BULL). Here is a new. congress doesn't participate in Social security. WHY?!
Here is an Ammendment that should be invoked...
Congress shall make no laws that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to Senators/and or Representatives, and Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators/and or
A warming trend makes for good shopping! - 01/12/10 02:59 PM
Today in Minnesota I have 26 degrees ABOVE zero. This is the warmest we have had since Christmas when we were hit by the storm. With the sun out part of the time, the snow is melting off the roofs.
What does this have to do with Real Estate? We are in a warming trend. The next week is going to be great! Mid thirties on some days. For those looking at land, it's a great time to tromp through the woods. It will be warm enough to spend time with nature and be able to take you time to investigate the
My Greatest Emotional Christmas gift ever! - 01/10/10 09:21 PM
This weekend, we celebrated our last Christmas group of the year. My Stepson and his family were here over the weekend. We all exchanged gifts and when I opened my gift from him...I was near Speechless. I was given my first personal Bible.
We have plenty of Bibles in our home, but not one I would call 'my own'. I was looking at buying one after Christmas as I had told my wife. But, I was surprised instead.
There are some deep personal reasons for my emotion that I won't bore anyone with. But, having my Step-son playing a major
You need to look at all options when saving money. (Humor) - 01/10/10 07:59 PM
We are all looking to save a buck year and there. ( My grandfathers used to say 'a few [pennies' ).
I know when talking to my parents, they are looking at cutting where ever they can. So this humorous story sorta covers the scope of what some will do.
An elderly couple went into the Dr's. office. "Doc, we would like you to watch us have sex and let us know if we are doing it right or not."
The doctor was taken back by the request, but agreed. The couple get down to their Birthday suits and then down
Health care in the future. - 01/09/10 10:49 PM
With the Government getting into health care, many people wonder what the care will be like. While this post isn't to debate that issue, this may make you think and maybe chuckle!
A man who had just gone through a very complicated surgery was complaining about a bump on his head and a headache. Since his surgery was an intestinal one...this was a cause for concern.
Finally, the nurse thinking it could be some kind of post-op complication, asked the Dr. about it.
The Dr. assured the nurse that he was OK and that he did really have a bump on
Snow Emergency.... - 01/08/10 06:20 PM
Many of you, especially on the east coast, have had your cities deal with the removal of snow. We call them Snow emergencies in Minnesota. You have to park on certain streets on certain sides or your car will get towed. Ticket and tow will cost between $175-$235. Make sure you listen for instruction in your area. If you are unsure of where to find them, contact me and I will help you find the authority in your area.
Ole and Lena, Lifelong residents of Minnesota, were having morning coffee. After 5 inches of snow during the overnight the radio blurted
Pun for Fun. - 01/07/10 10:29 PM
It has been a grueling day. Long boring story that means nothing to anyone but me, so I won't bore you. But I needed a lift and one was provided. I hope you get a smile for this evening.
A few puns.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then, it hit me!
Police were called to a daycare where a toddler was...Resisting a rest!
Did you hear about the guy who's left side was cut off? He's all right now!
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was...Sir Cumference.
To write with a broken pencil is, Pointless!
WE have an Addition to our Family!!! :-) - 01/03/10 07:36 PM
Yup, December was a propagational month at the Feela Snow Castle. Every year it happens, although this year was a bit subdued in numbers.
My wife, being the great mother she is, always welcomes the newest members into the family with open arms.
So...Without any more fanfare...I give you our latest member!
This is just one of the 15 or so newcomers to the Feela snow castle. Mama is real happy!
Run For your life...If you are afraid! (Humor) - 01/03/10 06:32 PM
I was visiting with a former retired pastor of ours. We laughed about the old times and the at times odd things that happened. A few short jokes we tossed out and then The Pastor came up with this one.
The Townspeople were sitting in the Little country church as services were to start. All of a sudden Satan appeared. People went into a panic and started running in all directions to get away.
Soon, all had excited except for one elderly man. he seemed oblivious to God's mortal enemy in his midst. Satan walked up to the man and bellowed...
The New Bride. (R) - 01/02/10 07:42 PM
I just thought for those of you who are just surfing the Rain, I would give you a chuckle.
IF EASILY OFFENDED...LEAVE THIS POST NOW!!!!
The bride tells her new husband, I am still a Virgin, I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it first?
So the husband says..."We will call your private thing a prison and my private thing the prisoner. So what we do is put the prisoner in the prison."
So they made Love for the first time. After a short time the bride says...
"Honey, the prisoner has escaped" Turning on his side, :well
Drink, Drink, A toast to the Bride... - 01/02/10 04:32 PM
Here's to 2010. It seamed a lot of toasting was going on on the 31st. It was only today that I was informed on how the 'toast' came about. So, I thought I would share with you all!
How did the word 'toasts' come to mean the raising of the glass in someone or something's honor? Flavoring a cup of wine with toasted, spiced bread dates back to an old European custom. The Drinker had to drain the cup in order to retrieve the saturated toast at the bottom, and the term 'toast' was evidently descriptive enough to stick. In contemporary
Microchip Implants for Terrorists. - 01/01/10 07:30 PM
With the recent terror attack on the commercial air line, we are back at being concerned about the terrorists. (About time!) So, here is a microchip that really needs to be used to solve some of the problems.
The Patriot Microchip is intended to be implanted in Terrorists.
The implant is specifically intended to be implanted into the forehead.
When properly implanted, it will allow the one implanted to speak directly to GOD!
The implant comes in a variety of sizes.
The exact size of the implant will be determined by a highly skilled technician.