Real Estate Humor, More One Liners... - 08/29/08 11:15 AM
A Happy Home is a place where each spouse entertains the possibility that the other may be right though neither believes it.By the time you pay for a home in the suburbs, it isn't.A Modern home is a place where a switch controls everything but the kids, and it has gadgets to do everything except make the payments.The house has a wall to wall carpet and back to wall payment.A typical home has a TV set that is adjusted better than the kids.House problem: The oven is self-cleaning, but the kids aren't.Our new house has one down payment and 240 darn … (6 comments)

Buying a home and understanding its Electric - 08/29/08 10:51 AM
Buying a home can be overwhelming.  When you find a home, it is very important to get a home inspection done.  The home inspector will quite often find things that you missed or did not realize.  The home inspector will also go over the electric panel.  For your own education here are some guidelines.
You should understand some basics, especially with electric.  Older homes typically have 50-60 amp service, however many homeowners (I know in my area) have upgraded to at least 100 amps.  The size of the home will dictate how many amps you need.  Typically, if the home is … (3 comments)

Social Networking and Myspace - 08/28/08 02:48 PM
 I have been a member of myspace for 2 years.  I admit I have not gotten into using the account. Lets face it, there is only so much time in a day.  But I decided today to check it out and start trying to add some new friends. 
So I did so searching, and the majority of people who were in the real estate industry that I came across had unprofessional pages.  Am I looking at this wrong?  I want my page to have a professional look. 
I would really like to connect with other professionals, who maintain their page for networking.   
Is anyone … (7 comments)

FUNNY- One line real estate jokes. - 08/28/08 05:01 AM
If you want to know exactly where the property line is, just watch the neighbor cut the grass.Houses today don't have enough closet space. Sure they do. They're just called guest bedrooms.Trivia: The floors of buildings are called stories because early European builders used to paint picture stories on the sides of their houses. Each floor had a different story.I bought a two story house. One story before I bought, and another after.The house is only 5 minutes from shopping . . .if you've got an airplane.This country is great. It's the only place where you can borrow money for a … (10 comments)

Real Estate One Liners - Humorous - 08/27/08 04:51 AM
I read a few of these and found them entertaining:
The sellers told me their house was near the water. It was in the basement. The dream of the older generation was to pay off a mortgage. The dream of today's young families is to get one. There is no longer a need for the neutron bomb. We already have something that destroys people and leaves buildings intact. It's called a mortgage. If you think no one cares you're alive, miss a couple of house payments. My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won't pay. … (11 comments)

Now is the Time to Remodel! - 08/26/08 01:28 PM
I have heard on the news,got multiple home center advertisements, and have seen the ads.  Now is the time to remodel!  Prices are down at the retail centers.   Many homeowners are reluctant to put money into their home for fear of house prices falling.  However, that can be far from the truth.  If you are planning on staying in the home the improvement is well worth it.  Or if you are planning sooner it still could be worth it as well.  It all depends on the numbers.
The bottom line here is if it is time for you to remodel, now is … (2 comments)

Do Less Work and Make More Money - 08/26/08 05:02 AM
Do Less Work and Make More Money, sounds like a sales pitch for some ingenious product.  Yet, it is not.  I have heard more and more about this idea as of late.  The idea is to simplify how you run your real estate business. First, take more time off. Take off for a few days every two months.  This will give you time to energize your batteries.  Second, shorten your database.  Concentrate on a managable amount that you can market to consistently.  (I agree with the concept, but I would hire someone before I cut my database.)Third, Have your systems in place.  If you … (11 comments)

Big Shot Consequences - Humor - 08/25/08 11:22 AM
I wanted to pass this one along:
A young broker had just started his own real estate office. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the broker picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

… (2 comments)

Another way To Increase Website Traffic - 08/25/08 09:28 AM
I was introduced to a new ideaof social bookmarking, I got the website url here at active rain.  Here is the concept, in case you are unfamiliar with it:I am sure the majority of you use your favorites list or bookmark websites.  That list can grow quickly, and can only be used on one computer.  Instead you can now use a social bookmarking website, like http://delicious.com/.
Here you can organize your "favorites" by tags.  I think of tags as categories.  When you add a website you can also add a note to jog your memory later.  The social part comes in … (4 comments)

Social Bookmarking...new Ideas - 08/22/08 09:18 AM
I was introduced to a new idea, I got the website url here at active rain.  It is called Social Bookmarking. 
Here is the concept, in case you are unfamiliar with it:I am sure the majority of you use your favorites list or bookmark websites.  That list can grow quickly, and can only be used on one computer.  Instead you can now use a social bookmarking website, like http://delicious.com/.
Here you can organize your "favorites" by tags.  I think of tags as categories.  When you add a website you can also add a note to jog your memory later.  The social … (4 comments)

Real Estate Advertising Phrases - 08/21/08 10:22 AM
CHARMING - Tiny. Snow White might fit, but five of the dwarfs would haveto find their own place. See "Cute," "Enchanting," and "Good Starter Home."MUCH POTENTIAL - Grim. Steer clear unless you have a lot of money andbelieve your blind dates really did have nice personalities. See"Ready to Rehab," and "Fixer Upper."UNIQUE CITY HOME - Used to be a warehouse.HI-TECH/CONTEMPORARY - Lots of steel shelving with little holes - thekind your dad used to store tools on in the basement.DARING DESIGN - Still a warehouse.COMPLETELY UPDATED - Avocado dishwasher and harvest gold carpeting or vice versa.SOPHISTICATED - Black walls and no … (3 comments)

Homebuyers needs change - 08/21/08 09:23 AM
Let me start off by saying how great marketing research is!  I was reading an article about how home buyers priorities are changing.  According to the article, more and more buyers are now more interested in energy saving home features, versus being interested in luxury amenities.
This is a definite sign that the buyer's are changing with the economy.  I know personally, since costs have risen, I have tried to conserve energy in any way I can.  Heck, I have even bought those light bulbs and put them in all my light fixtures.  The time has come to conserve. 
Has anyone else noticed this trend?
… (4 comments)

Are Open Houses a Waste of Time? - 08/20/08 03:38 PM
The age old question, Is doing an open house a waste of time?  As an experienced agent, I normally pass on my open houses to newer agents who need buyer leads.  I see open houses as a way to satisfy my clients. 
I have seen many agents who have been able to convert open house leads to clients.  And those type of agents see the open house as a great lead generator. 
Your level of attendance depends on the time of year/season.  Obviously, you will not get many people a week before Christmas.  In our area, you won't get many people either … (4 comments)

Vacant of Furnished? - 08/20/08 09:42 AM
To furnish or not to furnish that is the question that many sellers are faced with.  This is a continuous debate between sellers and us Realtors.  Often, sellers when they move out do not have the furniture available to furnish the vacant home.  At that point, I try to recommend to them that they rent furniture. However, the cost of renting furniture will quite frequently put an end to that.  I am sure you have all faced the same experiences as me.  How do you convince your seller to spend that money?
This is a great article discussing the topic of … (9 comments)

Great Yardley Website - 08/19/08 09:43 AM
Yardley Alive, http://yardleyalive.com/  is a sub site of BucksCountyAlive.com.  It is a great resource if you are visiting the area, or if you live in the area. It offers things to do, community resources, quick links, guides, newsletter, and even an up to date gas price locator.  The website is an endless wealth of knowledge, so check it out!  I was very impressed.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Carol Swain, Owner/PartnerKeller Williams Real EstateLanghorne, Pa(215) 757-7257carol@swainsells.com Visit my website for area listings: www.swainsells.com
 
… (1 comments)

Neshimany Honored as a Healthy School - 08/19/08 09:12 AM
Healthy Schools Honored with National Award
Neshimany school district is Langhorne's  top rated school district.  If you are looking to relocate to the area, Neshimany school district has great credentials.  Neshimany Middle School in Langhorne, Pa. was honored among 43 other schools nationwide for their efforts in becoming a healthier school. 
Check out:http://cbs3.com/topstories/Healthy.Schools.Honored.2.789367.html
 
 
 
 
 
 
Carol Swain, Owner/PartnerKeller Williams Real EstateLanghorne, Pa(215) 757-7257carol@swainsells.com Visit my website for area listings: www.swainsells.com
… (0 comments)

Afternoon Humor - Experienced Agent - 08/18/08 12:18 PM
A real-estate agent, had difficulty getting a listing from a customer whose theory was that "there is no substitute for experience." After he asked her a third time how many years she had been in the business, she told him: "Sir, there is a little-known historical fact that Moses brought three tablets down from the mountain-two were the Ten Commandments and the other was my real-estate license!" She got the listing.
… (3 comments)

Real Estate Monsters...Afternoon Humor - 08/15/08 02:52 PM
A FEW years ago we were desperately trying to sell our house, which was situated on a busy thorough fare. Our Real Estate agent decided to have open-house inspection nearly every day to promote the sale. We instructed the children not to talk to anyone about the house. One evening a man took our seven-year-old daughter aside and asked if our house had any secrets he should know. Her first reaction was to smile and ignore his question. But he became more persistent and, finally, she confessed there was one secret but she could not tell it to him. "Now we're … (4 comments)

The Truth can be Humorous! - 08/15/08 11:36 AM
WHEN we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds each morning. I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent showed it to prospective buyers. I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old son's bed was made perfectly each day. One night when I went into his room, I discovered his secret he was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag.
This joke has truth to it, but I think most teenage boys would just sleep on … (2 comments)

Motivated Seller - EXPANDED - 08/14/08 04:03 PM

76 Junewood DrLevittown, Pa 19055
MLS# 5403313
Description:Expanded, well maintained four bedroom/2 Bath Jubilee features 1st floor master bedroom suite! The large living room leads to the formal dining room, both are accented by crown molding. The remodeled country sized eat in kitchen features newer appliances and wood cabinetry. The  master bedroom suite features a 9 x 14 sitting/dressing area. Second bedroom off dining room, great for office or inlaw. Upstairs hosts an additional 2 bedrooms and a full bath. The heated sunroom overlooks the rear yard, perfect for your morning coffee. The rear yard is ideal for a summer BBQ, … (0 comments)

Trulia Listing Marketing - 08/13/08 09:00 AM
I post all of my listings on the top real estate websites like: Trulia, Zillow, Google, Yahoo, Craiglists, Postlets, etc as I am sure many of tech savvy Active Rainer's do. 
With the change in the market, the need to heavily market your listings is great.  I am impressed with Trulia though.  When I go to Google's search engine and type in my listings address, the first listing that pops up 99% of the time is my listing on Trulia.  I think this is great! 
I just wanted to share, I am not sure how many people have realized this.
… (11 comments)

Well Behaved Children .... Humorous - 08/12/08 12:25 PM
Thought this was humorous...so I decided to pass it along. 
As PROPERTY manager of single-family residences, I was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions: "Professionally employed?" "We're a military family," the wife answered. "Children?" "Yes, nine and twelve," she told me proudly. "Animals?" "Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved."

… (2 comments)

Kiss Me...Humorous - 08/11/08 11:37 AM
Two women were walking through the woods when a frog called out to them and said: "Help me, ladies! I am a real estate broker who, through a curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!"One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman said, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into a real estate broker!"The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a real estate broker!"

… (7 comments)

Local Food Drive, Langhorne Pa - Bucks County, Pa - 08/11/08 10:13 AM
I have been contacted by the local pantry to organize a Food-Fuel of Life Drive.  Given the position of Keller Williams Cultural Chairperson it has been brought to my attention that the local food pantries are in need of food.  They are crying out for help restocking the many local pantries. A fellow agent, is a pastor a local congregation.  She asked if we could team with the teen center  which is to open in September.  The teens will  aid in the collection & distribution to the local pantries. The Food - the Fuel of Life Drive will begin Sept. 22, 2008.  Non … (0 comments)

Healthy Schools Honored with National Award - 08/11/08 09:32 AM
Neshimany school disctrict is Langhorne's  top rated school district.  Neshimany Middle School in Langhorne, Pa. was honored among 43 other schools nationwide for their efforts in becoming a healthier school. 
 
Check out:http://cbs3.com/topstories/Healthy.Schools.Honored.2.789367.html
 
… (0 comments)

REDUCED- Waterfront Property - 08/06/08 02:16 PM
Enjoy an expansive view of the Delaware River in your freshly renovated riverfront home.  The first floor features gleaming restored oak hardwood floors and elegant crown molding throughout.  The powder room has been totally remodeled with a ceramic tile floor, pedestal sink, and new light fixture.  Both the living room and dining room boast picture windows which offer picturesque views.  The stunning kitchen is completely remodeled, and features granite countertops, custom designed cherry cabinets, and all New SS appliances.  Adjacent to the kitchen is the window encased sunroom with new berber carpeting.  The bright sunroom overlooks the banks of the Delaware, … (1 comments)

Reduced - Priced Below Market - 08/06/08 02:08 PM
EXPANDED! Well Maintained four bedroom home with master bedroom suite!  The large living room leads to the formal dining; both are accented by crown molding.  The remodeled country sized eat in kitchen features newer appliances and wood cabinetry. The master bedroom suite is located on the first floor with a 9x14 sitting/dressing area.  Upstairs hosts an additional 2 bedrooms and full bath.  The heated sunroom overlooks the rear yard, perfect for your morning coffee.   The rear yard is ideal for a summer BBQ, with a paver patio that extends along the side of the home.  The home also features newer vinyl … (0 comments)

More Afternoon Real Estate Humor - 08/06/08 11:31 AM
The Devil tells a Real Estate Agent, "Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any Real Estate Agentalive. In fact, I can make you the greatest agent that ever lived.""Well," says the Real Estate Agent, "what do I have to do in return?"The Devil smiles, "Well, of course you have to give me your soul," he says, "but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children's children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity.""Wait a minute," … (3 comments)

Localism... - 08/06/08 07:55 AM
I am relatively new to active rain. I have been an active member for about a month now.  I have heard a lot about Localism.com.  So I went to check it out.  But are potential clients going to check it out?  Or are other agents looking to give referrals going there? Those are my questions. 
I know my day to buy a town is tomorrow.  However, is it worth it?  I feel as though I do not understand it all completely.  Like there is a part of the puzzle missing for me. 
I want to buy into it and see it work.  … (3 comments)

Main Entrance...Humor - 08/06/08 04:44 AM
A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST AGENTS.' He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST COMMISSIONS.' The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'
… (5 comments)

How is your business? - 08/05/08 03:24 PM
IN A crowded elevator, one man asked another, "How's business?" "Last year we sold 500,000 houses, 700,000 farms and 750,000 schools," came the reply. "This year we ought to do equally well and, in addition, sell 1,200,000 garages." As the elevator descended, there was heavy silence for a moment. Then someone spoke up indignantly. "Sir," he said, "I'm in real estate, and those figures are preposterous!" He didn't know that the man boasting about his business was the marketing director of a major toy company.
… (6 comments)

How is your business? - 08/05/08 03:22 PM
IN A crowded elevator, one man asked another, "How's business?" "Last year we sold 500,000 houses, 700,000 farms and 750,000 schools," came the reply. "This year we ought to do equally well and, in addition, sell 1,200,000 garages." As the elevator descended, there was heavy silence for a moment. Then someone spoke up indignantly. "Sir," he said, "I'm in real estate, and those figures are preposterous!" He didn't know that the man boasting about his business was the marketing director of a major toy company.

… (1 comments)

FSBO Fun - 08/05/08 10:13 AM
WHEN A real-estate agency hadn't sold our house, we decided to do it ourselves. I placed ads in the local papers, spray painted a "For Sale" message on a sign board and posted it outside.When my husband came home that evening, he told me, laughing, that my sign was the most truthful one he had ever seen. Confused, I rushed outside to take a look. In my haste I had printed - "For Sale by Ower."
 
 
… (5 comments)

Free Lunch - Bucks County, Pa - 08/05/08 09:38 AM
Come One, Come All ....Agents!Broker's Open TODAY12- 2pm; LUNCH WILL BE SERVED with refreshments and dessert.
900 Red Coat Farm DrChalfont, Pa 18914MLS# 5391417Exquisite Sal Lapio Home in Highgate Estates enriched by lush landscaping.  Inside you are greeted by a dramatic 2 story foyer accented with crown moldings and Kampus Hardwood flooring thru to living & dining room, hall & kitchen.  Front & back & Grand staircases lead to the second floor bridge which overlooks the two story foyer and generously sized kitchen.  The kitchen offers an island, oversized 42" cabinets, upgraded granite countertops, ceramic tile back splash and recessed lighting.  Adjoined to the kitchen is … (0 comments)

Positive People...Positive Community - 08/04/08 11:24 AM
I have recently joined Active Rain, and wanted to quickly express my thoughts.   I have been taken back how great this site actually is.  I have read a number of stories with people's success, and am eager to participate.  But what I really enjoy is number of positive blog posts that are posted a day, whether it be a fun uplifting joke or someone just posting a story. 
It is great to be a member of a positive force in the real estate industry!                      
… (6 comments)

Broker's Open - Chalfont PA - 08/04/08 08:40 AM
Come One, Come All ....Agents!Broker's Open8/5/08 from 12- 2pm; LUNCH WILL BE SERVED
900 Red Coat Farm DrChalfont, Pa 18914MLS# 5391417Exquisite Sal Lapio Home in Highgate Estates enriched by lush landscaping.  Inside you are greeted by a dramatic 2 story foyer accented with crown moldings and Kampus Hardwood flooring thru to living & dining room, hall & kitchen.  Front & back & Grand staircases lead to the second floor bridge which overlooks the two story foyer and generously sized kitchen.  The kitchen offers an island, oversized 42" cabinets, upgraded granite countertops, ceramic tile back splash and recessed lighting.  Adjoined to the kitchen is the 2 story … (0 comments)

Networking... - 08/01/08 07:18 AM
Since the market has changed, I have had to find new sources of business.  I have always been a big fan of networking, and I have a group set up that I am in.  And I network in my social groups as well.  
So last January, I decided to go to our local mall (which is right across the street from the office).  I was going to talk to individuals that work at the different department stores.  I started off at Boscov's.  Of course I ended up buying some things.  I get to the cashier, and we are talking.  Then she … (4 comments)

 
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Carol Swain, Realtor -www.swainsells.com- Bucks County, Pa

Langhorne, PA

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Keller Williams Real Estate

Office Phone: (215) 757-7257

Cell Phone: (215) 431-8705

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