This is for all of out there who have started a work out regiment and felt like this. 

I only hope this makes you laugh half as hard as it made me.

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local 

health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 

43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified 

herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

    ________________________________

MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00 a.m.  Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she  conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is
going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

__________________________________________

TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

_______________________________

WEDNESDAY:


The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to
steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it
would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other crap too.

_______________________________

THURSDAY:

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny witch to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
_________ _ _____________________

FRIDAY:

I hate Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little witch. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the stupid barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

 ________________________________

SATURDAY:

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

________________________________

SUNDAY:

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little brat) will choose a gift for me that is fun --
like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

The South Greenville Fair is turning 50 this year and is going to be held at the Simpsonville City Park. This is the only fair in the Upstate of South Carolina that shows goats, livestock and horses. South Greenville Fair is a nonprofit tax-exempt, all volunteer organization.

Local Future Farmers of American and 4-H's will be participating. This event will educate and inspire community celebration of the science and technology of plant and animal production.

The fair will host dairy cattle, beef cattle, meat goats, horse show, chicken show, art show and flower show. A petting zoo, antique tractor and engines, Roper Mountain Science Center Pioneer exhibit and entertainment will also be part of the fair.

Best of all the event is FREE! So get ready to head over to Simpsonville City Park on September 20th for some fun and to allow the kids to see some animals they may not normally get to see up close and personal.

So after all the rain dancing, washing of cars and just plan begging for rain, we finally got some in the upstate. We are currently 25 inches behind. Now this is over a couple of year period, but we are still behind.

I am happy to report that we got 5 inches. Sadly because the ground was so dry, it did cause some flash flooding. We also had a lot of settament with the mud since everything was extra dry, but all in all we were happy to see the water falling from the sky.

I know Fay wasn't helpful to most out there, but we were happy to see her remains here in the upstate. So here is to the rest of the week of rain. Let it pour!

 Just a little Friday Fun.Hope it makes you smile today!

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets The cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound.. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow. 

While this happens to be one of my early mornings, I am normally a night owl. I don't think really start waking up until 10 pm I think.

I have even found myself lately if I do fall asleep early that I will wake up at 3am and can't go back to sleep. I find myself waking up with thoughts running through my head. Thinks I need to get done or a great marketing idea.

So now I have an outlet to put those thoughts out there if they are anything worth putting out there.

I look forward to adding to this group!

This one is gonna be good.

Here in Greenville we love to eat. We have several weekend festivals thruout the year and if they don't revolve around food, there is at least a whole bunch of it there. Well, September 11th-14th, downtown Greenville will be hosting Euphoria- which is a food, wine and music festival.

   The party kicks off Thursday night at 8pm with a concert by grammy nominee Chris Isaak (wow!) at the Peace Center Grand Hall.

On Friday, from 6:00-10:30 pm at the Peace center ampitheatre there is "Taste of the South" -a tasting of Southern dishes from several of the Upstate's finest restaurants. Wine, Beer and beverages will be provided and there will be live music by Greenville's own Edwin McCain, followed by an exclusive VIP party at the Lazy Goat.

Saturday, from 10:30am-4:15 pm Food, Wine and Music Seminars will be held at the Falls Park stages and from 11-4 there will be a Grand Wine tasting in Downtown Greenville. Starting at 7pm there will be wine dinners at various downtown restaurants followed by another VIP party.  Tyler Florence, Celebrity Chef and Food Network Host will be just one of 13 industry chefs from around the country that will be here in Greenville wowing us with his culinary delights!

Sunday wraps up with a Jazz Brunch and Culinary Cook-off downtown from 10-2, with cookbook signing sessions available as well.

For more information on this event as well as tickets and the like visit www.euphoriagreenville.com

This is going to be an awesome event and I plan on being there- hope to see you there!!!

1896    Games of the I Olympiad                  Athens, Greece

1900    Games of the II Olympiad                  Paris, France

1904    Games of the III Olympiad                St. Louis, United States

1908    Games of the IV Olympiad                London, United Kingdom

1912    Games of the V Olympiad                  Stockholm, Sweden

1916    Games of the VI Olympiad                  Berlin, Germany - cancelled because of World War I

1920    Games of the VII Olympiad               Antwerp, Belgium

1924    Games of the VIII Olympiad             Paris, France

1928    Games of the IX Olympiad                Amsterdam, Netherlands

1932    Games of the X Olympiad                  Los Angeles, United States

1936    Games of the XI Olympiad                Berlin, Germany

1940    Games of the XII Olympiad                Tokyo, Japan → Helsinki, Finland - cancelled because of World War II

1944    Games of the XIII Olympiad               London, United Kingdom - cancelled because of World War II

1948    Games of the XIV Olympiad             London, United Kingdom

1952    Games of the XV Olympiad               Helsinki, Finland

1956    Games of the XVI Olympiad             Melbourne, Australia
                                                                        Stockholm, Sweden (Equestrian events)

1960    Games of the XVII Olympiad            Rome, Italy

1964    Games of the XVIII Olympiad          Tokyo, Japan

1968    Games of the XIX Olympiad             Mexico City, Mexico

1972    Games of the XX Olympiad               Munich, West Germany

1976    Games of the XXI Olympiad             Montreal, Canada

1980    Games of the XXII Olympiad            Moscow, Soviet Union

1984    Games of the XXIII Olympiad          Los Angeles, United States

1988    Games of the XXIV Olympiad          Seoul, South Korea

1992    Games of the XXV Olympiad            Barcelona, Spain

1996    Games of the XXVI Olympiad          Atlanta, United States

2000    Games of the XXVII Olympiad         Sydney, Australia

2004    Games of the XXVIII Olympiad       Athens, Greece

2008    Games of the XXIX Olympiad          Beijing, People's Republic of China

2012    Games of the XXX Olympiad              London, United Kingdom

I was just wondering what all the Olympic sports were and how long they have been in the games. Well here is what I found:

Archery1900-1912, 1920, Started again in 1972 and still in today

Badminton: since 1992 (I thought this one would have started earlier)

Baseball: Started 1992 to present

Basketball: started 1936

Basque pelota: 1900 and also 1928, 1968 and 1992. (So what is this? It is played on a court. There is a ball and a bat, but it is a long flat bat.)

Boxing: 1904-1908 then started again in 1920 to present

BMX racing: This is the first year for it

Canoing: since 1936

Cricket: since 1900

Croquet: since 1900

Cycling: Since the beginning.

Diving: Since 1904

Equestrian: 1900, then started again in 1912

Fencing: Since the beginning

Football (soccer): 1900-1928, since 1936

Golf: 1900, 1904

Gymnastics: Since the beginning

Handball: 1936, since 1972

Hockey (field): 1908, 1920, since 1928

Jeu de paume: 1908

Judo: 1964, since 1972

Modern pentathlon: since 1912

Lacrosse: 1904-1908

Polo: 1900, 1908, 1920, 1924 and 1936

Rackets: 1908 (Very simular to racket ball)

Roque: 1904 (almost like croket, played on a rolled sand court)

Rowing: since 1900

Rugby union: 1900, 1908, 1920, 1924

Sailing: 1900, since 1908

Shooting: 1896, 1900, 1908-1924, since 1932

Softball: started 1996

Swimming: from the beginning

Synchronized swimming: Since 1984

Table tennis: Since 1988

Taekwondo: Since 2000

Tennis: 1896-1924, since 1988

Triathlon: since 2000

Tug of war: 1900-1920

Volleyball: since 1964

Water motor sports: 1908

Water polo: 1900, since 1908

Weightlifting: 1896, 1904, since 1920

Wrestling: 1896, since 1904