Great advice. It always takes me forever to do this- trying your method next time, J.

I have been seeing that a lot of people get involved in groups, and say afterward- I don't get it. How is this going to help me? 

For instance, the user return rate on twitter is pretty sorry. According to the Nielsen Wire, "more than 60 percent of U.S. Twitter users fail to return the following month, or in other words,... Twitter’s audience retention rate is currently about 40 percent." This just accounts for those that do not return at all- those that bebop in for a couple of tweets are counted as active.

I was speaking with someone who was involved with venture capital and setting up startups. She mentioned that one business women's group had a 20% retention rate over the course of a year. That's a lot of people who are joining something that they apparently think will not be useful a little further down the line.

I guess the first thing to ask yourself is this: Why am I joining a group? Is it for pleasure, for business contacts, to grow a consumer base? And don't think for a moment that these motives are mutually exclusive. If someone respects you for your knowledge base in, say, your hobby, that respect will roll over to your professional personna.

Then match the groups to your goals. This narrows your choices even before you begin so you aren't spread so thin that you can't be a valued member in any of them, and makes the communities a joy rather than a burden to be part of. And really- this is what it is all about: joy! Happiness and a true positive attitude attract people- business contacts, consumers, people who share your interests.

For more information about to get the most out of a group, click here.

It is funny how what you are today is the sum total of your experiences. Your parents, and their parents, built the beginning of the road you are traveling on. You can try to build a better or completely different road if you don't like the scenery that came before you, but most of the time you end up with a road that runs parallel to the original one- or at best perpendicular. That original road is always the touchpoint.

My father has been gone 20 years now- but he is still vividly with me. When I feel that I am at the bottom of my reserves of strength, I hear him telling me what he told me soon after my first daughter was born. She had obviously never heard the expression "sleeping like a baby" and on top of that was plagued with colic. Since I was nursing, I wasn't even able to self-medicate my way through it, and I looked fairly desperate one day when my father came to visit. He took my daughter from my tired arms and sat with her in the other room, saying to me, "Just when you feel like you are at the end of your rope, your trouble always ends."

My baby fell to sleep in his arms. While I was fairly certain that his advice was simplistic at the time, I have come to respect it and apply it more generally to my life as he intended,not just to episodes of infant colic. There are times it has become my mantra- "This will end- this will end- this will end." Horrible times end- or at least scab over- with time; everything is finite. And the really good times end too.

And I guess this is okay- because it has to be. Each of these little good and bad bits make up the cobblestones of the road you are building and there are times when the road is damned bumpy. 

This must be what fathers are for- to walk you down that aisle whether they like your choice at the other end or not, to take the baby from you when you are near the end of that rope, to teach you how to hang wallpaper and hang in there.

I miss you, Dad, but I always hear you.

Anyone who knows me even remotely well knows that I am a card-carrying member of the TwitterQueens. See? I'll prove it:

So there you have it. What are TwitterQueens? Well, it started out being a group of mainly women who chatted online, forming friendships and helping each other out online. It was mostly women, but not all; they were mostly REALTORS, but not all. Later we added the hashtag #twitterqueens so that we could keep track of the conversation in one stream- if you add the hashtag, you can filter out all of the responses with that tag if you use tweetgrid, tweetdeck, seesmic desktop, or twitzap.

Later as the group grew, we had members that were very new to social media, and decided to create a community where they could go and see posts with information (here's one on SEO), share leads, ask questions and get answers, and share video and pictures. We now have nearly 250 members, probably about 15% men.

The "Boys Allowed" issue caused a little stir but we made it through. I think that none of us really was aware of how fiercely people identify themselves and define themselves within a group context, but I guess I do too. I would have to say that- male OR female- most of my best friends are members of this group.

That is why I am really REALLY looking forward to our first tweetup/social media boot camp. This is going to be on June 27 at the Grans Hyatt in NYC, and I am going to get to meet the people that I am so excited about online face-to-face (some for the first time, some again). Bill Lublin , Morriss Partee, Jennifer Shaheen and Rebecca Corliss from HubSpot are among those either speaking or leading sessions, and Lesley, Maya and I will likely throw our hats into that ring too.

So here's the deal: We have decided to offer a free VIP stay with us, which means a hotel room and free pass to the day's event. One lucky person (man OR woman) will be chosen from among the people who tweet the following before Saturday June 20 at 4:00-

#twitterqueens- choose ME for VIP event reg because (then give us a great reason).

Yes, you will have to sign up on twitter.com and at least put out one tweet, but it will be worth it if you win!

See you in NYC!

"I have been on twitter now for a few months. Now what?"

Like anything else- are you REALLY on? Are you consistent?

If you are, and you have used some tools to develop a local following, great. Now let's take the next step. Why not organize a tweet-up?

A tweet-up is a face-to-face meeting, usually held at an informal venue like a bar or restaurant. For a little amount of time and no money this is an invaluable way to meet some of the people that you have chatted with online, and get to know their friends as well.

My friend Maya (@mayaREguru) is helping to organize a Delaware tweet-up. They set up a website (less than $20, including domain name), and Maya has been on a radio show, in an online news report, and has been invited back again for another stint on the radio. The tweet-up is also helping to benefit the local food bank- attendees are encouraged to bring two canned food items with them.

So, in addition to doing a couple of good things, Maya is getting a collateral amount of publicity. She is not in people's faces about what she does for a living- she is a REALTOR®- but it is mentioned each every time she is involved in the publicity. Maya is also a founding member of the TwitterQueens, and that position, together with her contacts, has helped her put together an appearance for that group on the CBS Morning Show. Do you think that they will ask her what she does and where she comes from?

Okay- and this is all BEFORE setting foot inside the tweetup and meeting people face to face!

How can you go about doing this? First, pick a date! Check and make sure it would be okay to bring a group to the location that you choose- that they do not hae an event already planned for that time. Find some way to benefit your local charity, not for publicity, but because it is the right thing to do. Maya's group chose the Food Bank of Delaware (found on twitter as @foodbankofde).

Then get the word out! Radio, local newspaper (both the calendar section and possibly a news report), twitter itself. Check out MeetUp.

Even more ideas can be found here on Mashable's site. You can be as simple or get as complicated as you like. Make sure you bring business cards with your @twitter name on them. I had special ones printed up:

These cards are strictly for social media events. Once you go to twitter, my background lists all of my contact information, so, really, all you have to do is google my name or find me by my twittername.

If you do organize a TweetUp. post it here under comments.

Great, Lesley!

1. I have gobs of time on my hands

2-5. See #1.

Okay, now that we have THAT out of the way...

None of us have gobs of time. If you are in Real Estate, you are to some degree at least at the beck and call of your clients. If you don't help them buy or sell a house, then the truth of the matter is you will not remain in the business. If you are like most of us, you are juggling family demands, client needs, and the education that an ever-changing market brings.

So where does twitter come in? What is twitter?

Twitter isn't the place in the social media world that most people go so they can meet up with people that they already know. Clint Miller likened it to a cocktail party- you know a few people, but at a good party you are there with a big mix of people for the intention of forming new bonds.

So- #1. I like twitter because I have met new people- smart, funny new people. 

How can this help me with business? 

#2. I have learned a lot from these smart, funny people. Knowledge will help you save time, and become better at what you do.

#3. You can pick up on "triggers" in the conversations of your new friends.

What is a trigger that relates to the sale or purchase of a new house? Divorce, birth, an impending transfer because of work- these are a few triggers that you might see in conversations. Does that mean that when you see that Judy's husband lost his job that you should chime in with, "Judy, that's too bad! If you ever know of anyone who needs to buy or sell real estate, call me!" 

Of course not. Some agents have the word "Realty" or RE right in their name. I know a PhxREGuy, a BeeRealty and a mayaREguru. Everyone knows what they do for a living- every time people see their names they are gently reminded. 

#4. Twitter is open-source so there are a lot of tools associated with it. 

You can check your rank and find out who is near you with TwitterGrader. You can locate people near you with apps like NearbyTweets or TwellowHood - sites like this are golden for a real estate agent who is interested in a 10 mile radius, let's say. And there are a ton more- see this article for a Top 20 list.

And my personal favorite- #5. It's free.

Convinced...or at least ready to give it a try? Go to twitter.com and follow the steps to sign up for an account. Twitter itself is hard to follow and sort unless you have untreated ADHD, which may be another reason that I like it (Hey- is that a squirrel?). But most people download a client to help sort things out- like Seesmic Desktop or TweetDeck. My personal favorite is TwitZap because it has the look and feel of twitter.

You can see a portion of the filters I have on the right side of my screen. TwitZap tells me when I have any activity in any of those columns. I have my own name in there so I can see if anyone is "talking" to me and I can respond back. I have a column for the TwitterQueens so I can jump in when I see a conversation start up about that.

To find friends to follow, you can post a few conversation starters, or you can keep an eye on the general conversation until you see someone say something interesting. Maybe right now you want to go to one of those local links listed above and start there. 

When you want to talk with someone, you type their name with an @ symbol directly in front and touching. Then your comment will be routed to their "stream."

Twitter consists of worlds inside of worlds. If you want to find these worlds, almost like small chatrooms. One of these is the one I mentioned- #twitterqueens. Another is #gno, for Girls Night Out. You can read what has been going on in these by searching the particular abbreviation or hashtag. If you want to answer, you would type your response, followed by the hashtag.

Example:

These two people hashtagged their conversation and I was able to see it and search it through TwitZap.

Wondering how to find out about hashtags? Some are listed in the Hashtag Dictionary, and more are created every day. Start one for your area and keep local twitter traffic coming by adding calendar events.

Can you imagine someone in the area constantly watching this stream for traffic alerts and other pertinent news? What a great way to be established as a local expert- not necessarily by sending out your listings, but by branding yourself as someone informed who cares about the community.

 'It makes me think of a prehistoric fish in a receding inland sea saying to an amphibian "so, what's the business case for legs?"' - Christopher Kenton

This quote refers to people who are reluctant to be involved with creating an online presence. I don't blame them- we all want to get out there and find the best ROI- whether the "I" part of the equation is money or time, neither of which there is enough of.

And the Internet landscape is a hard one to use tracers on. It's easy enough to track a buyer lead (and the conversion rate) from a couple who walks into your open house and tells you they were driving by and saw the sign. It's harder to judge exactly WHAT caused an Internet buyer to pull the trigger if they read your blog, began following you on facebook, and finally decided to go with you because you gave them good information.

But, since you are here, I am assuming you have a blog and a website. So:

#1. Run them through WebsiteGrader and follow the advice. Keep in mind that blogs are seldom freestanding so your blog will likely be part of a larger group of blogs, such as ActiveRain. 

#2. Sit down and write out who your ideal client is. Do you work best- convert the most- first time homebuyers? Do you prefer second home purchasers? Then ask yourself, "If I were this person, what information would I be looking for?" THIS HAS TO BE IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND WHEN YOU ARE ESTABLISHING YOUR PRESENCE- each time you post an article in your blog, every addition that you make to your website: run it through that filter. Did you sell 50 homes last year? That is terrific, but WHAT did you do that makes you different and will make you interesting to your target?

#3. Get signed up on Facebook. Many of the people "friending" you will be other sales agents, which is nice. But honestly? The bulk of your business will not come from them. Use the search bar to look for groups in your state that would attract your demographic, and start being friendly! 

#4. Sign up on twitter. You will make a lot of real estate friends- and this is great for education and support, but may not put butter on your bread. A tool for locating people local to you- and I assume this is where you get the most business- are (((drum roll))) localtweeps. TweeplePages is set up to search by interest- but you can add your location and state to "Interests" and that brought up results by search for me.

#5. Most important- set up a schedule! I am as bad about this as anyone- but if you blog on Tuesdays and Thursdays, people will expect to see your blog this Tuesday. Treat this as part of your prospecting- and also part of creating good karma, because you will be giving out helpful information. Get one blog ahead and keep it in your documents in case you get the flu or something.

And remember- have a little fun! People can sense it, and it tells them that you like what you do.

Blind dates. I have not ever gone on one. I honestly would be afraid to: what if I didn't like his taste in music? What if his laugh annoyed me? What if he tried to tell me that he knew more than I did about something that I knew I knew more about? 

I know that's all picky stuff, but I have children and a routine, and I honestly would not waste my time investing in a relationship that I knew would go nowhere, or backwards. And relationships, when you get down to it, are about chemistry. Sometimes you just can't explain why you are attracted to whom you are, although having an attraction plan as strong as a good business plan would probably be a smart idea.

So it was leaping without a net when I went down to Philadelphia to see Maya and Lesley. I had met Lesley in person twice- once on an extended trip to California; we had a lot in common. Maya- well, we had spoken online so much that we had felt like sisters, but what does that mean when meeting a person face to face?

I think part of having the chemical equation work is honesty- being genuine, whether in real life or online. Like one of Lesley's clients told her, "You had me at 'WTF,'" and that's Lesley to a T- sassy, smart, knowledgeable about her product, and genuine. If you don't like the way she presents herself online, you won't like her in person- but what a great pre-qualifier! 

Same thing with Maya- whom I had never met before, at least not face-to-face. Yet she felt comfortable enough with the two of us to invite us into her home. 

It was like a blind-date slumber party- and more, because we needed to affirm that we could work together. We had already planned an event for our Social Media Microculture- the TwitterQueens- and hoped to work out a plan for raising the funds to operate the first event somewhere out of the red. 

Anyone who was following #twitterqueens on twitter on Thursday 5/28 knows how well we ended up getting along. I could not have chosen better friends had I sent out job applications and prescreened. So this is what I will say about social media:

• Be yourself- be genuine. That way you will attract people whom you want to be around and whom you can wior with. This goes for the lighter stuff like friendship, and the heavier stuff like finding clients. In real estate, so much depends upon whether or not your personalities gel.
• Expect a lot. It is a big world- you don't have to work with everyone. Some matches will not be worth the time and effort you give to the equation.
• Believe in this kind of interaction enough to give it a chance. If you went to a cocktail party, said hello, then sat down in the corner doing some other kind of work- who would you meet? Who would you get to know?

This is going to be a busy, exciting week- if I can ever get things caught up enough at home to leave. The little one is complaining of a sore throat; the 19 year old accused me of never being home (although she is off at college and is never home herself). The 23 year old and the 19 year old haven't thought to give me grief yet, but give them time.

At any rate- I'm all packed! I am going to Philadelphia to RE BarCamp Philly. Tonight, I will get on the Amtrack train in my town, and travel to Boston. I will take the subway to South Station, get on a Greyhound bus, transfer in NYC and go to Wilmington, DE- where I will meet one of my best friends, Maya, face-to-face for the first time. I plan on seeing many friends whom I have met through twitter, Facebook and the Real Estate events- I don't even want to mention names because I know I will leave some out. Many of these will be first time meetings- and many more will feel like reunions, because that is what these camps feel like.

It's kind of like when you are invited to a wedding, and you are excited for the bride and groom, but what makes you happiest is having the chance to catch up with the people who will be coming. How have they been doing in business; how have their personal lives been going? Even more thrilling is looping into their conversations. It is wonderful to watch the ideas and sparks fly between some of them, and contribute when you can.

So that is exciting, certainly worth a long bus ride. But to add to that, on Thursday we will be speaking before a regional real estate board in Deleware on Social Media.

Heading back on Friday, I should be exhausted, but I will have been doing what I love. Hey- do you recognise that girl blowing a kiss on the right in the recap video? She's making memories.