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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: If only you were as Cool as I....... - 08/06/10 05:45 PM
Re/Max NOC employees: It is not acceptable to wear sunglasses while working inside the office. Not only is it completely against the ReMax dress code, it is a tremendous safety hazard. There are two people in the office that insist on wearing sunglasses at work to show that "they are somebody." But I am here to tell you, Ed and Randy, that you are not celebrities with photographers clambering to take your picture; you guys are no Tom Selleck (just ask Stephanie or Suzi). Sunglasses worn indoors are a privilege to those that underwent training in the Secret Service and the blind (which makes no sense … (3 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: Have YOU Seen the::: Chart Ninja??? - 05/27/10 03:09 PM
Finally someone gets it! This guy is AWESOME!! I think we would make a great duo or team!! … (1 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: Save Your Bugs!! - 04/27/10 06:56 PM
People, it's springtime and creepy crawlies are starting to emege from all the cracks and crevices. I urge you not to kill them. Please bag them up and bring them to me at once. I need them for soil aeration and to pollinate my beet flowers. Your cooperation will be noted.
DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT KILL THE BUGS!!!
… (1 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: Spring has Sprung ~ Kill that MOLD!!! - 03/30/10 02:32 PM
Spring has sprung and so have mold spores.The Schrutes for generations have ritually taken part in this annual event, often referred to as "Spring Cleaning". I will perform my quarterly office disinfection on Saturday because I will no longer subject myself to your whining about the fumes. not my fault the windows don't open or that your constitutions are weak. I refuse to use commercially produced cleaners. I may play fast and loose with cleanliness, but I will not If you want to help, I will accept applications for sturdy volunteers to come in on Saturday to aid in the cleaning.
Should you … (0 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: The Winter Olympics....yeah right - 03/01/10 02:17 PM
Much of the talk around the office lately has been about the Winter Olympics. I generally choose not to participate in such trivial uses of time. However, I am left with no other choice but to set the record straight on these so-called sports. Any sport in which gravity does more than fifty percent of the work can hardly be considered a sport. A bobsleigh is a simple method of transportation, which my relatives in Germany still use to traverse the hilly countryside in winter.
I might as well map out my drive to work every morning and call that an … (0 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: It's Time to Cut Costs !! - 02/11/10 06:01 PM
What simple maneuver can help us spend one-sixteenth of what we've been spending on paper AND also help us spend one-sixteenth of what we've been spending on printer toner? Confused? Well, it's a riddle.
I'll give you a hint, the answer is the "printer layout" function on our print menu.
Instead of printing one page per page, everyone in the office is now obligated to print 16 pages per page. Our office alone stands to save literally a few hundred dollars a year from this! Do it across every ReMax office and we're talking about a few thousand dollars!!! Like many … (0 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: Help Take A...Bite Outta Crime - 09/01/09 06:33 PM
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: Butt Gaskets ~Do We Really Need Them? - 08/18/09 06:35 PM
This has become a hot topic of debate in the office lately. Ed is demanding them in the men's room and Linda on the other hand could care less. I ask you, do we really need to slaughter another small forrest, just so Ed can sit on a doiley?? Please, here are just a few examples:
This is the "Prince Edward Special," it's gold plated and pleated
here is one for Linda some for Suzi
as you can see there is no shortage of people with nothing but time on their hands to make up these silly things. However, … (1 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: Put Down the Pop-Rocks Kid ! - 07/30/09 02:23 PM
Teen Finds Cocaine in Skittles Box at CVS, apparently at this drugstore, you don't need a prescription !!
MIDDLEBURG, FL -- The Clay County Sheriff's Office says there isn't enough evidence to continue investigating a bag of cocaine that was found in a Skittles box at a local CVS.
The CVS manager says that although security cameras were in use at the time of the incident, due to the angle of the camera, they were unable to see who dropped off the 1.2 gram bag of cocaine.
A CVS spokesperson, Mike DeAngelis, says "there's no evidence of somebody placing a foreign … (0 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: Paper is Not to Waste People !! - 06/29/09 12:07 PM
I've told you people time and time again, just because we are a real estate company that uses forms and alot of paper, does not mean we have paper to waste. On the contrary, every paper wasted is a piece of a tree just thrown into the tree chipper. Not to mention the money you're costing the company. I see how you misuse paper with crappy drawings (Vu), by printing up celebrity horoscopes (Edward), or by tearing it into strips to roll cigarettes (Jonh and Bill) (go buy some real ones will ya). I've been keeping notes (on the back of old discarded pieces of … (1 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: Monsters and Beasts, the Art and Technology of Animatronics at MUZEO - 06/02/09 12:43 PM
This is such a cool idea how come no one thought of it before ? This should be a totally awesome event I plan on going. Check it out !
Hollywood's most marvelous creatures and scariest monsters are on display at MUZEO. Get a look at these technical creations inside and out through interactive displays of the animatronic insides that bring them to life. See the Abominable Snowman, Gorilla from George of the Jungle, Peter Pan's Crocodile and many of the gizmos from Inspector Gadget 2.
Muzeo (Anaheim, CA)Wednesday, Jun. 3 @ 10:00am - 5:00pmThursday, Jun. 4 … (0 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: The Fungus Among Us !! - 05/14/09 06:42 PM
An office worker cleaning a fridge full of rotten food created a smell so noxious that it sent seven co-workers to the hospital and made many others ill. Firefighters had to evacuate the AT&T building in downtown San Jose on Tuesday after the fumes led someone to call 911. A hazmat team was called in. What crews found was an unplugged refrigerator crammed with moldy food.
Authorities say an enterprising office worker had decided to clean it out,(sounds like Suzi) placing the food in a conference room while using two cleaning chemicals to scrub down the mess.The mixture of old … (1 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: Speaking of Pigs and Swine - 05/06/09 01:23 PM
All of this talk about pigs and swine flu put me in mind of a favorite funny tv character of mine:
This gal is quite the authority as you can well see. Mimi is a secretary. She works at Winfred-Louder Department Store for the store manager, Mr. Bell [later Nigel Wicks]. Mimi wears too much make-up and has a vindictive nature. One of Mimi’s bold fashion statements inspired the comment “Only dogs can hear those colors.“ Mimi’s nemesis is Drew Carey, the Assistant Director of Personnel whom she calls “Pig!” … (0 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: Swine Flu, get the FACTS people !! - 04/27/09 06:56 PM
What are the symptoms of swine flu ?
The symptoms of swine flu in people are expected to be similar to the symptoms of regular human seasonal influenza and include fever, lethargy, snorting, cravings for slop and coughing. Some people with swine flu also have reported runny snout, sore throat, curly tails, achy hooves . strange cravings for corn on the cob.
Can people catch swine flu from eating pork?
Yes. Swine influenza viruses can be transmitted by food. You can get swine influenza from eating pork, pork chops, barbeque pork, bacon, ham, sausage and pork … (2 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: Frozen Yogurt ~ Beware of the Addiction !! - 04/17/09 12:34 PM
When choosing which foods to consume, I generally seek the most nutrient-rich provisions. My rations serve as fuel, which I use to power my complex, highly efficient, ass-kicking machine. I especially enjoy protein-rich foodstuffs full of real down-home flavors: be they salty, gamey, or grizzlish. I've even been known to enjoy goat milk iced cream, which manages to be both salty and gamey! What I don't like and what I will not tolerate, is Ed's recent infatuation with this God-awful frozen yogurt craze.
My nephew, Bastian, returned from his Rumspringa and turned Ed onto the white stuff. Now, I consider myself … (1 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: No More Sick Days ! - 04/17/09 12:25 PM
The time of the year where everyone whines about getting sick is finally coming to a close. Some refer to it as "flu season," I call it "scheming industry out of a free day away from work season." Although I know my name for it is not as catchy, it is much more accurate. I find it disgraceful when people take sick days on the company dime due to their illnesses. Corporate America will be relieved to know that I have a plan to tackle this abomination.
I propose that companies provide a quarantine and medical unit to treat sick employees (I … (0 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: No More Free Tissues - 03/30/09 05:40 PM
After personally conducting a cost-benefit analysis, I have concluded that the company can no longer afford to be wasting its money providing you with free tissues. If you are a frequent tissue-user (I'm looking at you, Alice), you can choose to purchase a personal box of tissues or follow my example by bringing your own handkerchief into the office. Before you pass judgment, let me remind you that a hankey is a great way to be environmentally friendly. It also serves as a reminder of times past. My hankey is a family heirloom, passed down from Schrute to Schrute for … (0 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: Attention pen thief(s) - 03/30/09 05:32 PM
Seriously guys, stop stealing my pens. I know I have a lot of them and they're all really cool because I actually spend money on quality writing utensils, but that doesn't mean you can take them. I'm not running a pen library. Even if I was, there would be due dates for the pens that you borrow and penalties for not returning my pens on time. Considering that I'm not actually running a pen library, what you're doing is theft. Plain and simple. If I catch anyone stealing from me in the future, I will have you arrested and prosecuted to … (0 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: Reminder About the Office Dress Code - 03/30/09 05:30 PM
I've kept my mouth shut for long enough, but after years of watching the ReMax NOC dress code get flagrantly abused by one of my (anonymous) desk-mates, I've decided I can no longer stand by idly and watch the honor of our proud corporation desecrated by said agent (who sits across the building from me). Rolling up your sleeves makes you look like a slacker. Just like the kid from "Bach to the Future." Remember him? Of course not, because he was a Slacker! Unbottoning the top button on your dress shirt makes you look like an anarchist. Loosening your necktie, makes … (0 comments)
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dwight k schrute regional virtual assistant to the agent inspection engineer remax noc: America's Dumbest Criminals Strikes Again !! - 03/19/09 05:24 PM
Or maybe I should say Fullerton's Dumbest Criminals. For those of you that haven't heard our office was almost broken into in the wee hours this morning. Unfortunately for Ron I was on patrol elsewhere in the city, doing my part to fight crime. You've heard the old addage "dumb as a box of rocks", well, that description fits our Perp to a T ! This guy is enterprising at least, he brought his own rock with him, to throw at our glass doors. But the only thing that broke was the rock !! I can't show you a picture of the … (0 comments)
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Dwight Schrute
Fullerton,
CA
More about me…
Re/Max North Orange County
Address: 1441 Brea Blvd., Fullerton, ca, 92835
Office Phone: (714) 525-0900
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