real estate jokes: Top Ten Funny One-Liners
- 11/09/09 11:46 AM
10. What is the best thing about dating a homeless woman? You can drop her off anywhere. 9. What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted. 8. What should a woman say to a man she's just had sex with? Whatever she wants - he's sleeping. 7. Where does virgin wool come from? Ugly sheep. 6. How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony? It isn't hard. 5. How can you make your wife crazy while making love? Call her from your cell phone. 4. What does the bride of a Polish … (3 comments)
real estate jokes: The Big-Talkin' Cowboy
- 09/24/09 08:26 AM
A big-talking cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked. 'Well, I can think of one thing,' the big-talkin' cowboy offered. 'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , why, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and punched him. Why I smacked him hard too, right across his ugly face .... Then I kicked his bike over, ripped out his … (4 comments)
real estate jokes: Do You Have Feelings of Inadequacy?
- 09/13/09 07:54 AM
Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Grey Goose. Grey Goose is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself. You'll also feel better about your actions. Grey Goose can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world you're ready and willing to do just about anything! You will notice the benefits of Grey Goose almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that … (4 comments)
real estate jokes: Actual Comments Made on Students' Report Cards
- 08/04/09 10:58 AM
Supposedly, these are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded :( 1.Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2.I would not allow this student to breed. 3.Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4.Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 5.Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. 6. This student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together. 7.This child has been working with glue … (22 comments)
real estate jokes: What happens in the pub, stays in the pub
- 07/31/09 06:13 AM
Dear Bob, I enjoy your sense of humor so I thought you might like this true story. I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered: I was listening to my iPod. -Randal Sent to me via email. God i love that dry British humor! … (5 comments)
Enjoy these bits of wisdom from George: Always do whatever's next. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting … (1 comments)
real estate jokes: A Really Bad Day
- 07/17/09 11:11 AM
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst day of my life! First, all night I can't sleep, and my alarm doesn't wake me. As a result, I arrive late … (0 comments)
real estate jokes: The Gender of Nouns - Humor only an English major would Love
- 06/29/09 01:05 PM
What is a noun? A noun is a word used to denote a person, place, thing, or idea.In the Spanish language, nouns are defined as being either masculine or feminine. Examples: English has masculine and feminine nouns too, but in English they are called "male" or "female" words. Here are some examples: COPIER: Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed. HAMMER: Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but … (2 comments)
real estate jokes: Short Sale Poems
- 06/06/09 06:23 AM
Okay, just for fun, write down your feelings about short sales in a short poem or haiku. I realize that you're probably busier than a one-legged Riverdancer and can't rhyme like a rap star, but that's okay. Jot down a haiku. What is the proper haiku format? Haiku: a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables. You can give the poem a title, or not! Example: PoemI gave up my homeTrying to do a short saleAll was for nothing.Wish that loan rep was in jail! Haiku#1Mystery bank ladyworking on my short saleNever calls me back. Haiku#2 Mystery bank … (6 comments)
real estate jokes: Jokes
- 09/11/07 01:18 PM
I think that rather than keeping a log of events happening in the world of real estate, I will post some jokes. Enjoy!
10. What is the best thing about dating a homeless woman? You can drop her off anywhere. ;)
;)
