Few guys understand what a woman means when she opens her closet and declares: I have nothing to wear. Guys look in the closet and they see clothes jammed in so tightly that one might break a hanger yanking something out. Wall-to-wall clothes. They scratch their heads and wonder how can a woman say she has nothing to wear when it's obvious that she has 6 times more clothing than them. In fact, it looks like the entire fall collection from Macy's in that closet.

See, here's the thing. When a woman says: "I have nothing to wear," it means she can remember the last time she wore every garment. I know, that doesn't make sense to many guys, but it does to a woman. And that which she can't recall, she probably doesn't like anyway. I imagine women who suffer from memory loss always have something to wear, so that can be the upside to losing your mind.

In my case, I realized yesterday that I have nothing to wear -- not for any of those reasons but because I had dropped 4 dress sizes. Very little in my closet fits me anymore. In case you're wondering, it's called the "don't eat" diet, which consists of consuming 3 small meals a day, no snacks, no desserts, and running around like a chicken with my head cut off slamming to closing those Sacramento short sales and homes in Land Park.

I'm back to the size I was in college. And I have my husband to thank. I thanked him, too, as I breezed in the door yesterday carrying a bunch of bags from my shopping spree at Macy's in downtown Sacramento. "What did I do?" he asked, bewildered. Well, he had stopped making me high caloric dinners and served up smaller portions, as I requested, since I had previously blamed my weight gain on him. He prepares our dinners and handles the grocery shopping. Now, I know it wasn't his fault, but it amuses me to share the blame. Call it a wife's prerogative.

At least now I'll have something to wear when I go over to East Sacramento today to shoot interior photos of my new listing. This is a very spacious two-bedroom home with an extra deep lot. And it's not upside down. Yup, not a short sale. It's owned by a regular seller. Been in the family for ages -- the mortgage has been paid off. I listed it last Friday for $314,900.

This East Sacramento home features hardwood floors, central heat and air, and one of the bedrooms has a murphy bed. The kitchen is huge, almost 25 feet, about the same size as the living room, with space for a table. In fact, you could also utilize part of the living room for dining and convert the formal dining room into a home office, if you needed an extra room. It has a 2-motorcycle garage, as the seller calls it, and a raised deck in the back yard for entertaining.

It goes into MLS today and showings start on Wednesday. If you're looking at homes in East Sacramento, give me a ring at 916.233.6759. I'd love to show you this. And I'll try to post more photos tomorrow.

A fellow blogger and agent on Active Rain, Pacita Dimacali, wrote a piece that included links which substantiate the theory that banks make more money on foreclosures than short sales. Pacita works in Alameda, about 90 minutes away from me in Sacramento, and she is also a contributor to my book, The Short Sale Savior. Pacita knows her stuff.

If the federal government is subsidizing lossses suffered by banks through foreclosure, it would appear that banks such as Bank of America, Wells Fargo and CitiMortgage have very little incentive to do a short sale. Yet, month after month, those same banks are approving my Sacramento short sales.

Now, Wachovia short sales are handled in a different manner. But that's primarily because Wachovia is a portfolio lender. Loans originated by World Savings, for example, that are now Wachovia short sales, close from sale date to recording in about 5 to 6 weeks.

I'll tell you why I suspect that my sellers are getting short sale approval and the sellers Pacita illustrates are receiving short sale rejections. I believe it has to do with short sale pricing and how I market those listings. See, banks are in the business of making money, and they probably don't care where the money comes from. The government can give it to them or short sale buyers can give it to them.

After all, if a bank takes the property in foreclosure, it will still need to ultimately sell that bank-owned home to a buyer. If the buyer is already standing in front of the bank, waving money and paying market value, why wouldn't the bank accept the short sale? As a Sacramento short sale agent, I fully realize that I represent the seller and have a fiduciary duty to get the seller the highest price possible, even though that money is not going directly into the seller's pocket. It goes to the bank. But the bank is also the ultimate decision maker.

At the moment, according to MLS, my short sale listing to sales price ratio average so far for 2009 is at 106.5% of the sales price. Yup, as bizarro as it sounds, that's right. I generate so much interest on my Sacramento short sales that buyers pay over list price. The banks are happy, the sellers are happy and even the buyers are happy. That's how life should be.

I just listed a new short sale in Land Park yesterday, but before I get to that, let me tell you about a weird thing that happened on Friday. I've never, in all my decades of real estate, experienced this before. A buyer who was supposed to close escrow on a home in South Land Park sent me an email with an attachment. That attachment was a copy of the recording status of the home, and the email asked if the home had recorded. Since I was viewing this on my BlackBerry -- which has very small print on attachments, even if I zoom the image -- I stopped at my home office to look at it on my computer.

Sure enough, the document included a book and page number. But it also had Thursday's date, not Friday's. I contacted title. Whoa. The title company goofed up and recorded the wrong deed. That loan had just funded Friday morning, but title recorded the deed in error on Thursday. This didn't affect my buyers much, but it certainly affects the buyers who thought they had closed escrow on Thursday and probably moved in already. Just goes to show that even title companies make mistakes.

Sometimes, buyers make mistakes as well, especially when they are moving to Land Park from out of the area. Many homes in Land Park are unique, and their values can vary dramatically, depending on a plethora of indicators. That's why it's important to hire an experienced Land Park agent or it's possible that a buyer may overpay for a home here.

Unfortunately, some appraisers have no idea how to appraise a home in Land Park. They don't seem to know where the boundaries are for each subdivision or how crossing some boundaries can have an affect on value. So buyers can't always rely on an appraisal to substantiate value.

The sellers of my new Land Park listing paid $515,000 in the spring of 2005, probably the hottest market ever on record for Land Park. It is presently assessed at $429,236 by the County of Sacramento. So, if you're looking for a short sale in Land Park -- and there are only 3 active short sales available in Land Park at the moment -- you might want to check this out.

1000 Fremont Way is offered as a short sale at $325,000. This Land Park Tudor features 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, and according to the County Assessor has 1,471 square feet. It has refinished hardwood floors, barrel ceilings, nooks, crannies, built-ins, crown molding, a fireplace, formal dining room, breakfast nook, master suite, a bonus room off the garage, partial basement and attic storage. It was updated in 2005.

Plus you get boat storage, RV access and a garage that will hold 2 small cars. The back-yard has a covered patio that is made to look like a beach, with a sanded concrete floor, the sides of the overhang adjust and a ceiling fan. There is also a lawn in back that you will never need to mow.

Although the home has an address on Fremont, it actually faces 10th Street, and is a corner lot. But the back yard has a southern exposure. The A/C was new in 2005. It's got everything a Land Park buyer could want.

1000 Fremont Way, Sacramento, CA 95818
Offered exclusively by LYON REAL ESTATE as a short sale at $325,000
Elizabeth Weintraub, Land Park Agent, 916.233.6759

Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub

Sometime around mid-October, I received an offer on one of my Sacramento short sales. The buyer's agent swore that the buyers loved the home. On top of that, the agent promised in writing not to write any more offers for those buyers as everyone waited for short sale approval. We received approval from one lender and were working on gaining cooperation from the second lender when a cancellation of purchase agreement appeared in my email inbox.

The explanation was the buyers decided they could not afford the improvements they wanted to make. They had not gone back to the home since the day they wrote the offer. This epiphany seemed to have come to them right after they received the approval letter, when reality sunk in. The agent didn't have the guts to pick up the phone and call me. For all I know, that agent had been out showing these buyers other homes and writing other offers.

If that was the case, this agent could possibly be held liable for breaking the REALTOR Code of Ethics. Article 1 says agents must be honest with each other. On top of that, though, buyers who walk away from a short sale after signing a contract could be held liable for breaching the good faith covenant inherent in contracts. A lawyer could argue in court that those types of buyers probably had no intention of following through on the purchase should a better opportunity present itself along the way.

Moreover, what if the seller was already in foreclosure, facing a trustee's sale, and relying on this particular buyer to perform? Is it possible that the seller could hold the buyer personally liable if the seller lost the home to foreclosure as a result of the cancellation? I'm not a lawyer, and I can't give legal advice, but it seems to me that it's possible a seller in that situation might have legal recourse against such a buyer.

After all, by ratifying the contract, the buyers prevented the seller from selling to a serious buyer -- a buyer who may have been able to perform during the allotted time frame. Buyers who are writing multiple purchase offers on Sacramento short sales may want to rethink that kind of strategy. What do you think? Do short sale sellers have a legal right to sue a buyer for damages if that buyer's failure to perform and breach of good faith leads to foreclosure?

The usual scenario goes like this: An upside-down homeowner loses his job and the family scrambles to make the mortgage payments. They borrow on credit cards, ask other family members for help, sell possessions. They may ask the lender to do a loan modification and spend months trying to qualify before the lender shoots them down.

Then the bank files a Notice of Default. A few weeks before the trustee's sale, a friend suggests a short sale. Desperate, the homeowner then calls a Sacramento short sale agent, hoping for a miracle and to save what little credit the homeowner has left.

I've pulled quite a few Sacramento short sales out of the fire just moments before the home was auctioned off to the highest bidder at foreclosure. But I'm not a miracle worker, regardless of my reputation. Sometimes I can save a seller from foreclosure and sometimes I can't. It's much better to call me to list your short sale before the Notice of Default is filed.

This is how the Notice of Default works in California. Generally, the homeowner falls behind a couple months. The lender sends letters asking for payment with late fees. After 60 days or so, before the Notice of Default is filed, the lender is required to inform the homeowner in writing of its intent to pursue foreclosure. By law, this letter must be delivered to the homeowner at least 30 days before filing the Notice of Default. If you receive such a letter of intention, pick up the phone and call your Sacramento short sale agent. Don't put it off.

The Notice of Default is recorded in the public records. After 90 days, the publication period in a newspaper of general circulation begins. After 20 days, the home may go to auction on the 21st day. This means from the day you stop making your mortgage payments, you may have about 6 1/2 months before you lose your home to foreclosure.

Time is of the essence. You don't have the luxury of time when you're trying to do a Sacramento short sale. If you are trying to negotiate a Bank of America short sale, for example, on a loan that originated with Countrywide, you may need a full 6 months to get short sale approval.

So don't stuff those bank letters in a drawer hoping that it will all go away if you simply ignore what's happening because it won't. It will just get worse. Get legal and tax advice, then call your Sacramento short sale agent as soon as you possibly can. I can't guarantee that I'll be able to postpone the trustee's sale, but it's entirely possible.

If you're about to attempt a short sale, you probably have questions. Questions are always on my mind, too. I wonder about such things as why does Google's homepage show the feet of a Muppet character today? How focused am I on short sales that I did not know the World Series is going on? Why is it when my cat, Pia, rubs on my monitor, she always manages to hit that hidden button that turns it off, and what are the odds that I'll be typing when it happens?

When hopeful short sale sellers call me to ask questions about doing a short sale in Sacramento, I email them my short sale package. This package includes a wealth of information created by reputable legal counsel. It answers a bazillion questions, some of which many sellers didn't even know they had until they read the answers. The package also addresses how short sales affect credit and the possible consequences of taxation on canceled debt.

I do this because I am not licensed to give legal advice, but it's important to me that my sellers are informed. I suggest that sellers obtain legal and tax advice before embarking on the short sale path. This helps them to understand the ramifications of a short sale because not every short sale follows the same procedures.

If sellers have sizable assets to protect or discretionary income, I may also suggest that it could be in the best interests of those sellers to hire a lawyer to negotiate the short sale. I still handle the sale of their home but, in those cases, a lawyer has direct contact with the short sale bank, not me. Banks seem to be more afraid of a lawyer than a Sacramento short sale agent.

I've also witnessed what lawyers can do. One client had more than $200,000 on hand and, by hiring an experienced Sacramento law firm to negotiate the short sale, that client retained the cash and received a clean short sale approval letter without demands for a seller contribution. So, I know it's not always necessary to be upside-down financially to qualify for a short sale. That same law firm is handling negotiations for a few of my other short sale clients who are current and not in default.

If you're looking for answers to your short sale questions, call Elizabeth Weintraub at 916 233 6759, and I'll do my best to provide you with enough information for you to decide whether you want to pursue a short sale. Most of my Sacramento short sales sell within a week or two. And my success rate is high. Remember, too, on a short sale, banks pay my commission.

Every so often, I receive a phone call from a seller who is upside down on the mortgage and wants to sell a home in Sacramento as a short sale to a family member. These callers have a hard time understanding that most banks will insist on an arm's-length transaction, which means they can't sell the home as a short sale to a person who is related to them.

Sometimes, sellers will go a step further and try to make special arrangements with the buyer of that short sale. They ask if they can rent the home back from the buyer. In many cases, they can't. Moreover, they probably can't sell to a business associate.

Why not? Because the bank may demand it.  A short sale seller can't financially benefit, directly or indirectly, from a short sale. A lot of banks have caught wind of the potential for mortgage fraud and are trying to put a stop to it. Whenever people are in financial distress, though, you'll find crooks cooking up ways to capitalize on misfortune.

As a Sacramento short sale agent, it's easy for me to spot potential mortgage fraud in short sale transactions. There's so much of it. You've got investors trying to double escrow short sales as well. But if a bank requires that all parties sign an Affidavit of Arm's-Length Transaction, all parties are required to sign it and could potentially be held liable for mortgage fraud if they violate the terms. Here is a sample Arm's-Length Transaction Affidavit from Wells Fargo (they really need an editor; man, you can send a lawyer to law school but you can't make them English majors):

"All parties to the contract on the premises dated XXXX, Property address: XXXX, hereby affirm that this is an Arm's-Length Transaction.

"No party to this contract is a family member, business associate or share a business interest with the mortgagor. Further, there are no hidden terms or special understandings between the seller or buyer or their agents or the mortgagee.

"The buyers and sellers nor their agents have any agreements written or implied that will allow the seller to remain in the property as renters or regain ownership of said property at anytime after the execution of this short sale transaction. None of the parties shall receive any proceeds from this transaction except the sales commission."

A short sale bank, one of those 3-letter banks, closed a file yesterday because the buyers didn't return the Arm's-Length Transaction Affidavit in a timely manner. I had badgered the buyer's agent until the cows came home, but he couldn't get the documents back to me. We explained to the bank that the buyers were on vacation and couldn't be reached, but the bank didn't care. It just closed the file. This means the short sale process starts over from scratch, even though the bank now holds the fully executed Arm's-Length Transaction Affidavit. Lovely.

A weird thing happened yesterday. Instead of receiving The Sacramento Bee on my doorstep, The New York Times Sunday edition was there. I realized something was amiss when I opened the door because instead of a skinny little wad with a dead spider stuck in the middle, the paper was thick and neatly bound.

I put on my reading glasses and sure enough, I was holding The New York Times. I'm pretty sure The New York Times and The Sacramento Bee hire separate couriers. Hmmm, most curious. I wondered if maybe my husband switched our subscription without telling me. Naw, he wouldn't do that. Well, he might do something that could dramatically change my life and forget to tell me, but he wouldn't cancel our subscription to The Sacramento Bee. We rely on that paper for news about Sacramento, plus my husband would love to work for The Sacramento Bee.

My husband, Adam Weintraub, is a journalist. More than 25 years in the business, first as an investigative reporter at City News Bureau in Chicago, later with major newspapers around the country and finally landing a job as the managing editor at the Sacramento Business Journal. He made a lateral move to Sacramento from the Minneapolis-St. Paul Business Journal. Celebrated his 10-year anniversary with the Business Journal and, last year, at this time, was let go.

He now freelances because nobody seems to be hiring. It's a good thing his wife is a top-producing Sacramento real estate agent because we otherwise wouldn't make ends meet on what freelancing pays. The print industry is hurting. You've probably noticed Adam's byline in The Sacramento Bee and Comstock's Magazine. My husband takes his profession very seriously; journalism is in his blood. He's a dedicated reporter, much like my late father-in-law, Larry Weintraub, who wrote for The Chicago Sun-Times.

My husband is also a much better writer than I am, and he's witty, brilliant and a dedicated journalist down to the bone, but jobs in journalism are few and far between. I have tried to encourage him to write a book, but that idea keeps getting shoved to the back burner as he takes on new freelance assignments.

So, no, my husband would not have switched our subscription to The Sacramento Bee. This was obviously a screw up somewhere.

I sat down to breakfast with The New York Times. In its travel section, I discovered a huge spread on Sacramento and things to do in Sacramento. This wasn't a regional edition of the paper. Hey, that's pretty cool. Hip, but sometimes overlooked for its fun factor, Sacramento made it into The New York Times as a travel destination.

My husband snorted when I told him the good news, "Oh, that's been online for days." It's called 36 Hours in Sacramento. The reporter says, "This capital city has a gentle, small-town charm, with a strong theater tradition, delightful new restaurants and a vibrant art scene." She acknowledges that we have more trees in Sacramento than any other city in the world, except for maybe Paris. It's a joy to see Sacramento recognized as a formidable travel destination and many of my favorite restaurants plugged. Check it out. Sacramento is a wonderful city in which to work and play. We chose Sacramento many years ago as one of the best places to live in America.

I closed 4 escrows last week, so I thought it was a nice gesture to offer to take my husband out to dinner on Halloween. Sort of a celebration. All right, it was also a way that I could cancel Halloween without being obvious about it. But, no, my husband had already carved a pumpkin and bought several bags of candy. OK, then, but I'm not answering the door.

When I was younger, Halloween used to be my favorite holiday, second only to my birthday. I adored the spooky decorations, dressing up like a hooker and partying until somebody passes out in the bathtub. I even once got married on Halloween, but that marriage turned out to be a disaster. As it stands now, I don't seem to possess the enthusiasm for the holiday anymore.

Instead of celebrating Halloween yesterday, I managed to score the keys from a tenant for my East Sacramento listing. At long last, I was able to put a lockbox on that house. If you're looking for a home in East Sacramento, check out 763 53rd Street. It's a darling 2-bedroom cottage listed at $329,000, and it's now vacant. It's not a short sale, either. This could close by November 30th.

Saturdays are also lockbox day for me, meaning I map out my travels and collect lockboxes from the homes that closed escrow that week. While I'm driving, I answer buyer and buyer's agent calls. One agent sent me an email, saying her buyer wanted to withdraw a short sale offer she submitted the day before because her buyer was uncomfortable with the fact that we expected the buyer to commit to the transaction.

This was a buyer, the agent had earlier confided, who had made dozens of offers on other homes and kept getting beat out. Well, she could buy one of my short sale listings as it just fell out of escrow. I told her exactly what her buyer needed to do to get the seller's signature on the offer. But did she do it? No, she didn't. She was missing that crucial element: the motivation to be dedicated and wait for short sale approval.

There were enough witches, goblins, skeletons and Richard Nixons running around last night; I have no desire to add another to my escrows.

Ever since I lost a short sale to the auction block in 2006, I've been trying to keep tabs on the foreclosure activity regarding my Sacramento short sales. On that particular transaction, we were in the middle of negotiations with Bank of America when the next thing I knew, an agent called to say he had just listed that home in Land Park as an REO. Apparently, the loss mitigation department had not been communicating with Bank of America's foreclosure department. But sometimes negotiators simply close out files and don't inform the agents.

My first clue that something was amiss was when a woman called me yesterday. She asked for a copy of the home inspection for one of my short sale listings. I told her it was in escrow as an active short contingent and not available. Then she turned a bit snippy, insisting that she was entitled to a copy of the home inspection, as though this information was a public record.

No, only the seller and buyer are entitled to receive the home inspection. She has no rights because she is not a party to the transaction. She called me a 5-letter word and slammed down the phone.

Hmmm . . . why would a rude person demand to see a copy of the home inspection on a listing? Perhaps a person bidding at a public auction who thinks I represent the bank, that's who.

The next phone call came from a very nice guy who says he has purchased 54 homes in Sacramento so far this year. He began asking questions about this particular listing. He seemed focused on its physical condition. When I told him it was in escrow, he said it was up for an opening bid at the public auction at my list price!

An email had been sent to the negotiator at Wells Fargo, letting the negotiator know that the buyers and sellers had accepted Wells Fargo's terms, and we were ready to move forward. Apparently, Wells Fargo somehow let this one slip through the cracks and instead sent it to auction.

After much screaming at Wells Fargo, we were able to get the property pulled from the auction. Out of the fire at the last minute. This was similar to planting a squash on top of a football zombie just before the zombie eats my brains in Plants vs. Zombies.

Within minutes of halting the bidding process, the investor called back. He seemed impressed, pointing out that I must not be your average Sacramento short sale agent. He asked if I would let him know if any of my bunch of active short contingents fall out of escrow or when I list other short sales in Sacramento. You know what? I will. If you're reading this, thank you, Bob.