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Merry Christmas to all My Female Friends!!!
 
Merry Christmas To My Female Friends
 
        If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do
        I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you
        And deliver some things just inside your front door
        Things you have lost, but treasured before.
 
        I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,
        And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
        Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
        Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.
 
        I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted
        So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
        I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
        Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.
 
        I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
        So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.
        You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,
        And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.
 
        No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes,
        No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
        Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny,
        From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.
 
        You'd never have a headache, so no pills ... more

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