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jokes: Halloween Jokes for the Goodie Bags - they're real groaners for little ones! - 10/29/11 01:49 PM
Anyone who follows my blog year after year, or knows me at all, understands my love of all things Halloween. We like to make up Goodie Bags for the kids and we normally include a card letting the parents know where it came from (so they know it is safe)
Last year we also began to include jokes for the kids - the parents appreciated them more than the kids I think! At least they gave the biggest laughs when the kids shared them!
Here are a few we're putting in the bags this year:
What's a monster's favorite play? … (13 comments)
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jokes: DADDY, HOW WAS I BORN? - 06/21/11 12:19 PM
A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born ?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room onYahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other.
There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of … (26 comments)
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jokes: MONDAY MORNING FUNNY - GET YOUR IRISH ON! - 01/31/11 09:47 AM
This is a hilarious home video that must be watched to the very end. It does start a wee bit slow but I promise you'll be laughing with tears running down your face at the end!
Click here for video
Let me know if you'll need a translation. It is in English but Irish English!
Happy Monday :)
… (14 comments)
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jokes: MONDAY'S CHUCKLE - WALKING - 10/25/10 04:23 PM
Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month. My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell he is. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing. I joined a health club last year ... spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently … (50 comments)
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jokes: Monday Chuckle - 10/04/10 12:06 PM
Direct from Ireland . . .
Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the doorhe sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old redMassey Ferguson.Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off firstthe right welly, followed by the left.He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move letshis braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over hiscorduroy trousers.Grabbing both sides of his check shirt he rips it apart to reveal his teastained vest underneath and with a final flourish … (6 comments)
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jokes: OUR YEARLY DEMENTIA TEST - 06/07/10 06:05 PM
2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink? Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3. 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from? … (9 comments)
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jokes: Why were you fired from your last job? - 03/29/10 09:10 AM
WHY WERE YOU FIRED FROM YOUR LAST JOB ?I used to be a butcher, but I backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in my work. I used to be an optician, but I made a spectacle of myself.I worked on screen doors, but I strained myself.I used to work as a hot-air balloon pilot, but my status was up in the air. I used to work in a frozen food factory, but I got fresh and then they canned me. I used to work in a dairy. I got fired for getting in the whey.I lost my job … (19 comments)
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jokes: Another flu floating around :0) - 11/02/09 01:44 PM
My friend went to a dinner party on the weekend, where she and other guests enjoyed copious amounts of alcohol. She awoke Sunday morning not feeling well, with what could be described as flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes, etc. From the results of some initial testing, she has unfortunately tested positive for what experts are now calling "Wine Flu". This debilitating condition is very serious - and it appears this is not an isolated case. Reports are flooding in from all around the country of others diagnosed with Wine Flu. To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup … (29 comments)
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jokes: ANIMALS ARE THE GREATEST on Thankful Thursday! - 10/01/09 08:40 AM
I found these too funny not to share on Thankful Thursday especially! I hope you like them as much as I did and that they bring a smile to your face. Animals are what makes the world go round for me and I am facinated at how we each react to them.
Are you smiling? Did any one photo capture you? Share with us your favourite, please and thank you.
… (34 comments)
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jokes: REDNECK FIRE ALARM - 08/12/09 12:37 PM
RED NECK FIRE ALARM
… (22 comments)
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jokes: The Best Smart A$$ answers of last year! - 01/11/09 06:09 PM
The Best Smart Ass Answers of 2008 !!SMART ASS ANSWER #6It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.SMART ASS ANSWER #5A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I needto see your ticket, not your stub.'SMART ASS ANSWER #4A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery … (38 comments)
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jokes: Medical Info - JOKE - 10/30/08 08:25 AM
A bit bold but made me laugh and THAT is good medical advice!Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus?
It is called the 'Recta-Optic' Nerve.
It is responsible for giving people a 'crappy' outlook on life.If you don't believe it, try to pull a hair from your backside and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
And on that note, have a great day!
… (19 comments)
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jokes: CLASSES FOR MEN AVAILABLE - 08/27/08 03:08 PM
SUMMER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Friday, August 29th 2008 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
… (17 comments)
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Susan Emo in Gananoque/Kingston/Brockville
Gananoque,
ON
More about me…
RE/MAX Riverview Realty Ltd - Brokerage 1000 Islands Canada
Office Phone: (613) 382-2211
Cell Phone: (613) 331-4885
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