laugh: When the World gets me down...
- 02/10/14 01:50 AM
I learned i can't change the world, but I can change my own world.. As I transition out of ownership and into the working world, I find it therapeutic to watch other people laugh. I may be the ultimate narcissist, I use other peoples laughter to make me feel better. Let me know if my 6 minute set helped. Glenn
laugh: Luv's Huggies Pamper's and Depends!
- 02/03/14 11:53 PM
I know you have been laying awake at night wondering why baby diapers have brand names such as "Luvs", "Huggies," and "Pampers', while undergarments for old people are called "Depends". Well here is the low down on the whole thing. When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em, Hug'em and Pamper em. When old people have an accident in their pants, it "Depends" on who's in the will! Have a great safe, warm day from Glenn Freezman! ================================================================= … (6 comments)
laugh: The Philadelphia Comedy Contest, Glenn Freezman, 5 minute set
- 01/09/14 02:12 AM
I hope you'll take 5 minutes to watch and comment on the set I did for the Philadelphia Comedy Contest. Since the collapse of the Refinance market, I have been in search of PLAN B, doing Stand Up comedy is paving my way towards Key Note Speaking. My next Show is Sunday Night, another contest being held at The Sunday Funnies Resolution Romp! Buffalo Billiards, 118 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19106. If your in or around Philly, stop in and say hello.
Comments, Suggestions, Raves and Boos, Bring them on! I hope you enjoyed my You-Tube Thursday Entry! Glenn Freezman … (2 comments)
laugh: Turning around NO!!!
- 12/30/13 01:02 AM
The difficult task is to turn around a no. Not, "no, I've thought about it, but I'm not interested," but, "no, I feel like saying 'no', whatever you're offering, the answer is no." If the fractious child or the skeptical prospect or the frightened boss is coming from a place of no, your proposal just isn't going to work. Shaking that rattle or waving that spreadsheet isn't going to work, because it's not going to be judged on the merits. The facts are irrelevant... if your partner (and yes, the person you're with right now is your partner, engaged in … (2 comments)
laugh: A Morning Mommy Joke!!
- 12/22/13 11:32 PM
When my wife was six months pregnant with my second child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. He said, 'Mommy, you are getting fat!' She replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.' 'I know,' he replied, but what's growing in your ass? I offer todays smile for FREE, No Points! Please, whomever you are that needs to make sure I don't get points and actuially takes the time to put in a complaint, understand, I couldn't care less, I do it for Karma!! … (2 comments)
laugh: A Chrstmas Story (Humor)
- 12/20/13 12:24 AM
The teacher, Mrs. Jones, asked each of her students how they celebrated Christmas. She called first on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me, Patrick, what do you do at Christmas time?" Patrick addressed the class: "Me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns. Then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys." "Very nice, Patrick," she said. "Now, Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?" "Me and … (6 comments)
laugh: BREAKING News!! ..... from the North Pole...
- 12/17/13 12:48 AM
It has been reported that due to the negative impact the Great Recession has had on economies all over the world, this Christmas, Santa Claus will have only two “Ho’s”, not three as is the custom. Additionally, it was reported, that if the recession deepens further or the recovery continues at its current slow rate, in 2014 Santa might have to do with only one “HO” Happy Holidays from Glenn Freezman ============================================ … (0 comments)
laugh: The "Unattended Bag" in the Airport! (Humor)
- 12/09/13 12:13 AM
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself, 'I'm going to take that.'
Have a great day from Glenn Freezman ================================================================= … (0 comments)
laugh: The Affordable Boat Act Passes Into Law!!
- 11/12/13 04:21 AM
The U.S. government has just passed a new law entitled "The Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat by April, 2014. These 'affordable' boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance, or repair costs. This law has been passed because, until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have an 'affordable' boat of their own, because everyone is 'entitled' to a new boat. … (5 comments)
laugh: Is Title Insurance Like a Kardashian... A No Brainer :)
- 11/12/13 01:23 AM
I have been in the Title Insurance Business for 28 years... Cabo, my pup, has been here 3 years. People don’t understand title insurance, they think it’s like a Kardashian: A no brainer! Title insurance protects, the buyer, against something like the previous owner failing to pay property taxes. And you know what happens to people who don’t pay taxes? They serve two years ... in Congress. Title insurance is like the gallbladder. Everyone has it, but nobody is sure of what it is or exactly what it’s good for. At one settlement, The Prudential agent brought the 2 … (5 comments)
laugh: Update on Kathy's Surgery
- 10/17/13 05:31 AM
Dear Family and Friends, Most of you know our friend Kathy went in for a surgical procedure for a Butt Lift, using the Obama Care Medical Plan through your new state run insurance exchange. She didn't have the most pleasant experience. She should've left well enough alone. We wanted to show you how it turned out. We hope this makes you aware of the quality of care you will receive from the Affordable Healthcare Act (Obama Care) Please, PLEASE, PLEASE . . Don't get a Butt Lift using the Obama Care Medical Plan. The "Obama care qualified Doctor" was a 3rd … (2 comments)
laugh: I got her to achieve A Multiple Listing
- 10/10/13 03:55 AM
Look I don’t want to brag but a Realtor told me that I was the first and only title insurance guy to ever get her to achieve a multiple listing. It was embarrassing. She kept screaming my name, out loud, during settlement. I was recently at a closing, They were all there: the mortgage company, both realtors, the foreclosure expert, the short sale guy, the buyer, the seller......I haven’t seen that many people try to screw each other, at the same time, since Caligula. If I made you laugh, I guarantee we will make you smile at your real estate settlement. Look me … (1 comments)
laugh: I got her to achieve A Multiple "Listing"
- 10/10/13 03:27 AM
Look I don’t want to brag but a Realtor told me that I was the first and only title insurance guy to ever get her to achieve a multiple listing. It was embarrassing. She kept screaming my name, out loud, during settlement. I was recently at a closing, They were all there: the mortgage company, both realtors, the foreclosure expert, the short sale guy, the buyer, the seller......I haven’t seen that many people try to screw each other, at the same time, since Caligula. If I make you laugh, I guarantee we will make you smile at your real estate settlement. Look me … (0 comments)
laugh: HILLARY'S FIRST NIGHTS AS PRESIDENT
- 10/07/13 02:09 AM
Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this!! FIRST NIGHT Suddenly! The ghost of George Washington appears to her, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Washington says, "Never tell a lie."
"Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that." SECOND NIGHT The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...? Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Jefferson says, "Listen to the people." "Ohhh! I really really don't want to … (10 comments)
laugh: AMA Insight on Obamacare... No Matter which side your on!!!
- 10/04/13 06:27 AM
The American Medical Association has weighed in on Obama's new health care package. The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the
Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the
Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the
Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!" The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and … (5 comments)
From my family at Family Abstract to yours, all our very best! ======================================================================== … (4 comments)
laugh: My Wife Has Been Mising For A Week
- 10/01/13 05:55 AM
My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
I hope you all have a great day from me and my family at Family Abstract, Inc. ========================================================================= … (6 comments)
laugh: Why Old Men Don't Get Hired!
- 09/27/13 12:58 AM
Here is a quick interview that took place today at Family Abstract, Inc. Job Interview: Human Resources Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?" Old Man : "Honesty." Human Resources Manager: "I don't think honesty is a weakness." Old Man : "I don't really give a shit what you think." We are still Interviewing! Make it a great day from my family at Family Abstract to yours, all our very best! ======================================== … (5 comments)
laugh: Helium Comedy Club Presents.... ME, Please check it out!!
- 09/26/13 06:55 AM
It's You Tube Video Thursday, when I am not at Family Abstract, I am busy at the comedy clubs, here is my latest set from Helium, The number 1 comedy club in Philly!! Enjoy!! Leave me a comment.
From my family at Family Abstract, Inc. to yours all our very best!! … (4 comments)
Bringing all parties together – that’s what we do!
Whether you are a Realtor, lender, broker, buyer or seller, your success is our mission!
Title Matters is a blog edited and maintained as a cooperative effort by the owners and employees of Family Abstract, Inc.
By combining our knowledge, skills and energy we can share what we know, find answers to questions, and do what a good title company is supposed to do – bring all the parties together!
I learned i can't change the world, but I can change my own world.. As I transition out of ownership and into the working world, I find it therapeutic to watch other people laugh. I may be the ultimate narcissist, I use other peoples laughter to make me feel better. Let me know if my 6 minute set helped.
;)
;)
