laugh: Golf verse Tennis, A Real quick joke! - 05/21/13 07:54 AM
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
I hope you have a great day, from your friends at Family Abstract!
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laugh: Did I read that sign correctly? FRIDAY FUNNY! - 05/10/13 10:23 AM
Did I read that sign correctly? TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW     In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS  In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN     In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD Outside a secondhand shop:  WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG … (10 comments)

laugh: The Talking Centipede - 05/08/13 07:11 AM
 
 
A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.   
So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.   
After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug),  
which came in a little white box to use for his house.  
He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box,  
and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him.  
So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would … (6 comments)

laugh: Short, Cute Dog Story - 05/07/13 06:52 AM
Family Abstract brings Cabo to work... Why not the hotel too?   A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.   He wrote this short letter: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"   An immediate reply came back from the hotel owner, who wrote: "Dear Sir ...I've been operating this hotel for many years now, and in all that time, … (9 comments)

laugh: She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde... - 04/30/13 11:53 AM
Did you hear the one about the...  At Family Abstract, we love a good laugh, today's Title Topic was Blondes.  Now Blondes can be synonymous with just about anything you wish it to be, so please, while reading the following feel free to substitute your "Blonde" of choice and more importantly, Make it a GREAT DAY!!
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:* she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.* she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.* she thought a quarterback was a refund.* she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.* she thought Boyz II … (5 comments)

laugh: The top 20 things I learned from Kids at Family Abstract (G Rated) - 04/23/13 07:39 AM
As a partner in Family Abstract, my role has always been street smarts and my partners book smarts.  We make the perfect combination, but the wisdom that I have culled from our kids in the last 22 years is beyond reproach and not available anywherre else  For a funny blog post, I offer my top 20 list, Enjoy and PLEASE have a great week.
For those with no children - this is totally hysterical...For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.For those who have children this age, this is not funny.For those who have children nearing this … (7 comments)

laugh: Romance is Alive In My House! - 04/19/13 07:53 AM
My Wife, being the romantic sort, sent me a text: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!
....
I replied ,“I am on the toilet. Please advise
 
 
 
 
 
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laugh: Amazing New Real Estate Robot Now Available - 04/02/13 06:02 AM
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. 
He tests it at dinner one night...                                       
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.  The son says, "Idid some schoolwork."    
The robot slaps the son.                                                 
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."       
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"  Son says, "Toy Story."  The robot slaps the son.                                                           
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."                               
Dad says, "What?  At your age I didn't even know what porn was."  The  robot slaps … (3 comments)

laugh: Airline Ground Crews are very funny!! - 04/01/13 12:37 PM
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.   Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by Maintenance engineers!! By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.(Knock on wood)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight … (2 comments)

laugh: Did Jesus Really Rise? - 03/29/13 11:27 AM
I hope you and everyone you love has a great Easter!! From my family to yours!
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laugh: WHY OUR HEALTH CARE COSTS ARE SO HIGH!!! - 03/28/13 07:54 AM
Kevin had shingles.
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?
Here's what happened to Kevin:
Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had... Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and … (11 comments)

laugh: Why Why Why? From Your Title Insurance Guy! - 03/26/13 10:30 AM
It seems like all day, every day we are asked why? From the time our children are old enough to speak, WHY is one of the words that every child picks up very early in age. My kids first words were, Power of Attorney and Trust Fund, but that's just me.
We are asked, WHY is that Judgement still of record,
WHY won't the bank take my short sale offer,
WHY won't the lender order another appraisal,
WHY does the opposing negotiator pay the Buyers agents commission in a real estate transaction?
I say Why ask WHY? Sometimes it feels … (2 comments)

laugh: All Our Best Passover Wishes, with a few Jokes thrown in! - 03/25/13 01:18 PM
I wish all my friends and friends of friends a Happy Passover.  From my Family at Family Abstract to you, all our best!
Enjoy some Passover humor!
 
Just in time for this year, a group of leading medical people has published data indicating that seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses. It is indicated that this combination can lead to Charoses of the Liver.
At our seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh, fortified with Metamucil. The brand name, of course, is "Let My People Go".
Lunch ______ A Jewish man took his Passover lunch … (6 comments)

laugh: HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY (Written by kids) - 03/21/13 10:29 AM
The kids at Family Abstract were at it again! Sometimes during settlements, when the buyers or sellers bring their children, it's my job as "Camp Counselor" to make their time in our offices more enjoyable. Actually we use the kids to make our days more enjoyable! Read on and you'll understand why...Actual answer from actual kids!
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 No person … (14 comments)

laugh: More Comedy Writing, I need critics! - 03/12/13 11:14 AM
Title insurance at Family Abstract is my main thing, but making people laugh and doing standup comedy is catching up fast! Many of you have seen my Helium comedy Debut that I posted and I really appreciated all the kind words and encouragement.  To that end, i'm thinking, why not run some of the new material past you, get your feeelings on it.  Maybe leave me a commment that's written better, or you have something that's funny to add.  This is a work in progress.  My goal is to write and perform, ultimately in the Real Estate, Mortgage, Title, Staging and … (7 comments)

laugh: Todays Laughs come from the Elderly! - 02/26/13 10:12 AM
Our clients at Family Abstract, Inc. range in age from 21 to 101, my favorite group are the seniors.  The wisdom, knowledge and overall sense they bring is remarkable. I hope you enjoy the following quickie jokes.
A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.
Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid-eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to … (13 comments)

laugh: Start your week off with some great One Line Jokes! - 02/25/13 09:02 AM
At Family Abstract we try to make every day a little better by laughing, smiling or telling a joke. For today, I am handing out the material for the week, from some of the best stars around. We guarantee to make your settlement a happy one! Enjoy!
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." Rodney Dangerfield  
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the … (12 comments)

laugh: Lawyer with a Lexus - Your Laugh For Today - 02/22/13 07:33 AM
 
 A very successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver's door.Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter … (14 comments)

laugh: THE BOTTLE OF WINE ( A quick Cute Joke G Rated) - 02/21/13 09:00 AM
 For all of you who are married, were married, wish you were married or wish you were not married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine: My wife was driving home from one of her business trips, in Northern Arizona, when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road.
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laugh: A Good Question... For a Joke on Tuesday! - 02/19/13 06:53 AM
A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?"The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun.""And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man."It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the body." said the father..The son asked, "And what about those ugly shoes on your feet?His father replied, "These are 'babouches", which keep us from burning our feet in the desert.""So tell me then," added the boy."Yes, my son?""Why are you living in … (5 comments)

 
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Glenn Freezman

Horsham, PA

More about me…

Family Abstract, Inc.

Address: 1424 Easton Road, Suite 100, Horsham, PA, 19044

Office Phone: (215) 293-0212 x 206

Cell Phone: (215) 778-9592

Email Me

Bringing all parties together – that’s what we do!

Whether you are a Realtor, lender, broker, buyer or seller, your success is our mission!

Title Matters is a blog edited and maintained as a cooperative effort by the owners and employees of Family Abstract, Inc.

By combining our knowledge, skills and energy we can share what we know, find answers to questions, and do what a good title company is supposed to do – bring all the parties together!



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