laugh: You may remember the old Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days:
- 10/24/12 12:10 AM
Shecky Greene, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Joey Bishop, Milton Berle,Jan Murray, Danny Kaye, Henny Youngman, Buddy Hackett,Sid Caesar, Groucho Marx, Jackie Mason,Victor Borge, Woody Allen, Joan Rivers, Lenny Bruce, George Burns, Allan Sherman, Jerry Lewis, Peter Sellers, Carl Reiner, Shelley Berman, Gene Wilder, George Jessel,Alan King, Mel Brooks, Phil Silvers, Jack Carter, Rodney Dangerfield, Don Rickles, Jack Benny Mansel Rubenstein and so many others. And there was not one single swear word in their comedy. Here are a few examples: * I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. * I've been in love … (6 comments)
laugh: HELP, Im Stuck in the Feminine Protection Isle, A True Story
- 10/19/12 01:40 AM
I was actually inspired by Roger's Blog to share with you my personal true story on the topic. http://activerain.com/blogsview/3483630/it-was-another-who-s-on-first-conversation-with-mickey-yesterday-#12900255 Thanks Roger, you are one of my favorites! My "Mickey" is named Sheryl and we have been married for 26 years (in a row) The story goes like this.... I was at the local supermarket when my cell phone buzzed with a call from home, my wife. Hi, Babe, do me a favor and pick me up a box of Tampons. No Problem, I'll grab them for you. Holy-Moly have you ever stood in the Feminine Protection Isle as a guy? Thin, … (4 comments)
laugh: It's Friday take a minute to smile!
- 10/18/12 11:04 PM
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU’LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST! KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN. 1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF. 2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT … (8 comments)
A father and mother kissing their dying little girl goodbye. If you are wondering why all the medic people are bowing: in less than an hour, two small children in the next room are able to live thanks to the little girl’s kidney and liver. Don’t ever, ever,ever,ever stop being Grateful no mater what. Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the … (2 comments)
laugh: Saturday Night Lives, Emily Litella On Title Insurance Vetting
- 10/18/12 02:38 AM
EMILY LITELLA: What’s all this Fuss I keep hearing about Title Insurance companies becoming Wedded? Now that’s outrageous!! If two consenting title agencies decide to get Wedded who’s business is it? Why don’t title companies want to get wedded? The coming together of 2 title insurance agents merged together though a wedding would be a benefit the consumers. What makes a Title Wedding so special? Will it be worth more in a few years? I say there should be more Weddings…. CHEVY CHASE: Miss. Litella, that was Title Insurance Vetting, the Vetting of agents! Vetting not Wedding! EMILY LITELLA: Oh, well … (0 comments)
laugh: Drinking and Driving after a Real Estate Function
- 10/12/12 02:59 AM
I would like to share an experience with you all about drinking and driving.As you well know some of us have been known to have had rare brushes with the authorities on our way home from a social session over the years. A couple of nights ago I was at an after hours real estate function. I had a few too many delicious chocotinis.Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit I didsomething I've never done before???? I took a bus home.Sure enough, I passed a DUI checkpoint, but because it was a bus,they just waved it through.I … (9 comments)
laugh: Brides of Christ, (A quick joke)
- 10/03/12 12:04 AM
Four novice nuns were about to take their vows. Dressed in their white gowns, they came into the chapel with the Mother Superior, and were about to undergo the ceremony to marry them to Jesus, making them "Brides of Christ."Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews with scull caps, long sideburns, and long beards came in and sat in the front row.The Mother Superior said to them, "I am honored that you would want to share this experience with us, but do you mind if I ask you why you came?"One of the Jews replied, "We're from … (6 comments)
laugh: Peter Piper Prepared Pacifically for You Tube Thursday!!
- 09/27/12 01:06 AM
We all know the story of Peter Piper. Here, later in life Peter Piper gets a house. But Peter Piper doesn't pick the proper mortgage and now Peter Piper is "Pucked". Peters' predicament is discussed in this humorous parody. Please let me know what you think... Thanks in advance. From my family to yours, from Title Insurance commitment to policy, all our very best! Take at least a moment each day to smile and laugh, then call Family Abstract for all your title needs in PA, NJ, MD and FL. At Family Abstract, Inc. We look forward to making you, … (4 comments)
=============================================================================== I wish you and everyone you love A Happy and Healthy New Year! G-zi G'zunt! L'shana Tova ===============================================================================
From my family to yours, from Title Insurance commitment to policy, all our very best! Take at least a moment each day to smile and laugh, then call Family Abstract for all your title needs in PA, NJ, MD and FL. At Family Abstract, Inc. We look forward to making you, and your clients smile very day, especially the day of settlement. Please like … (9 comments)
laugh: Charity is so much more rewarding than work!
- 09/17/12 05:11 AM
My 3 year old Golden Retriever was complaining the other day that I never take him to my title insurance office. What good is a dog without usable thumbs gonna be at Family Abstract, Inc?
He is 90 pounds of love and muscle and mush! Arrive on the scene… Bright and Beautiful Therapy Dogs with a great business plan. “Our purpose and objective is to help owners of well-behaved dogs, as they share the special love and attention their pets give to them, with other less fortunate individuals” Reactions to therapy dogs are unmistakable, well documented, and amazing. … (6 comments)
laugh: "$22,500 for One Memorial Stone? Quick Witted Widow!
- 08/31/12 04:04 AM
As we were completing a settlement the other day at Family Abstract, our Title Insurance agency, the borrower, a widow had her deed changed to reflect the passing of her late husband. She was complaining with a broad smile on her face that when her husband died he only had $30,000 to his name. The story went like this... Her husband dies. He had $30,000 to his name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells us that there is none of the $30,000 left. We ask, "How can that be? The widow says, "Well, the funeral … (8 comments)
laugh: The importance of a Balcony
- 08/16/12 03:12 AM
Today's discussion around the settlement table at Family Abstract, dealt with the topic of balconies. When buying or selling real estate, just how important is a great balcony? Balconies create great views, open air living and an extension to bring the outdoors, indoors. The higher the balcony, the better the view, the larger the balcony, the better the living space becomes. What are the "other" uses for a Balcony? My parents had an interesting use, continuing reading below... I am the eight year old little boy in the story below, The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon 'quickie' with … (9 comments)
laugh: Lunch with the Girls, a quick 70 year story.
- 08/08/12 05:32 AM
If you find yourself showing the same houses to the same people that once one is purchased, you'll need title insurance on, then keep reading this cute story. Houses look different to different people, the perception that folks take away from looking at a property always differs from person to person. LUNCH WITH THE GIRLS A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen, next door to the Ocean View restaurant, because they had only $6.00 among them and Brad Johnson, the cute boy in Social Studies, lived on that … (6 comments)
87% Fix-A-Flat ============================================================= This posting didn’t have a whole lot to do with title insurance, but lets face it, how much can we really discuss about title insurance and still expect you to read it? Consider it a public service announcement. From my family to yours, from Title Insurance commitment to policy, all our very best! Take at least a moment each day to smile and laugh, then call Family Abstract for all your title needs in PA, NJ, MD and FL. At Family Abstract, Inc. We look forward to making … (4 comments)
laugh: Who's says Reverse Mortgage clients are not funny? Monday Funnies!
- 07/30/12 05:50 AM
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, '"Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?" She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid." ******************** When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered when … (5 comments)
laugh: It’s Time to Take down the bird feeder
- 07/27/12 01:22 AM
We received yet another example of a company from India trying to get onto the American Title Industry. Using the American court records, the companies from India can produce and deliver property records quicker and cheaper than we can with our own records in America. As they are a fact gathering outfit working out of India, I can almost guarantee there will be no positive impact on the US economy by using their services. Is this one step beyond the illegal immigrant issue in the United States. Have the illegal immigrants figured out, if you don’t wont take care of us … (5 comments)
laugh: Title Insurance, During the Dog Days of Summer
- 07/25/12 01:25 AM
One of the best days of the month at Family Abstract, is when my dog, Cabo gets groomed and I bring his 90 pounds of overly affectionate Golden Retriever body to the title insurance office. In the picture to the right you can see how he has given his “Chin of Approval” to the blue folders proposal. A dog , as everyone knows is God spelled backwards, coincidence, I don’t think so. Today’s list is of some great “Dog Quotes”, by the way, do I have to put dog quotes in quotes? Well, this is my dog Cabo, when we … (0 comments)
Bringing all parties together – that’s what we do!
Whether you are a Realtor, lender, broker, buyer or seller, your success is our mission!
Title Matters is a blog edited and maintained as a cooperative effort by the owners and employees of Family Abstract, Inc.
By combining our knowledge, skills and energy we can share what we know, find answers to questions, and do what a good title company is supposed to do – bring all the parties together!
Shecky Greene, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Joey Bishop, Milton Berle,Jan Murray, Danny Kaye, Henny Youngman, Buddy Hackett,Sid Caesar, Groucho Marx, Jackie Mason,Victor Borge, Woody Allen, Joan Rivers, Lenny Bruce, George Burns, Allan Sherman, Jerry Lewis, Peter Sellers, Carl Reiner, Shelley Berman, Gene Wilder, George Jessel,Alan King, Mel Brooks, Phil Silvers, Jack Carter, Rodney Dangerfield, Don Rickles, Jack Benny Mansel Rubenstein and so many others. And there was not one single swear word in their comedy. Here are a few examples: * I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. * I've been in love … (6 comments)
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