live: The Philadelphia Comedy Contest, Glenn Freezman, 5 minute set
- 01/09/14 02:12 AM
I hope you'll take 5 minutes to watch and comment on the set I did for the Philadelphia Comedy Contest. Since the collapse of the Refinance market, I have been in search of PLAN B, doing Stand Up comedy is paving my way towards Key Note Speaking. My next Show is Sunday Night, another contest being held at The Sunday Funnies Resolution Romp! Buffalo Billiards, 118 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19106. If your in or around Philly, stop in and say hello.
Comments, Suggestions, Raves and Boos, Bring them on! I hope you enjoyed my You-Tube Thursday Entry! Glenn Freezman … (2 comments)
live: Turning around NO!!!
- 12/30/13 01:02 AM
The difficult task is to turn around a no. Not, "no, I've thought about it, but I'm not interested," but, "no, I feel like saying 'no', whatever you're offering, the answer is no." If the fractious child or the skeptical prospect or the frightened boss is coming from a place of no, your proposal just isn't going to work. Shaking that rattle or waving that spreadsheet isn't going to work, because it's not going to be judged on the merits. The facts are irrelevant... if your partner (and yes, the person you're with right now is your partner, engaged in … (2 comments)
live: A Morning Mommy Joke!!
- 12/22/13 11:32 PM
When my wife was six months pregnant with my second child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. He said, 'Mommy, you are getting fat!' She replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.' 'I know,' he replied, but what's growing in your ass? I offer todays smile for FREE, No Points! Please, whomever you are that needs to make sure I don't get points and actuially takes the time to put in a complaint, understand, I couldn't care less, I do it for Karma!! … (2 comments)
live: A Chrstmas Story (Humor)
- 12/20/13 12:24 AM
The teacher, Mrs. Jones, asked each of her students how they celebrated Christmas. She called first on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me, Patrick, what do you do at Christmas time?" Patrick addressed the class: "Me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns. Then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys." "Very nice, Patrick," she said. "Now, Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?" "Me and … (6 comments)
live: The Affordable Boat Act Passes Into Law!!
- 11/12/13 04:21 AM
The U.S. government has just passed a new law entitled "The Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat by April, 2014. These 'affordable' boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance, or repair costs. This law has been passed because, until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have an 'affordable' boat of their own, because everyone is 'entitled' to a new boat. … (5 comments)
live: HILLARY'S FIRST NIGHTS AS PRESIDENT
- 10/07/13 02:09 AM
Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this!! FIRST NIGHT Suddenly! The ghost of George Washington appears to her, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Washington says, "Never tell a lie."
"Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that." SECOND NIGHT The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...? Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Jefferson says, "Listen to the people." "Ohhh! I really really don't want to … (10 comments)
From my family at Family Abstract to yours, all our very best! ======================================================================== … (4 comments)
live: My Wife Has Been Mising For A Week
- 10/01/13 05:55 AM
My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
I hope you all have a great day from me and my family at Family Abstract, Inc. ========================================================================= … (6 comments)
live: Why Old Men Don't Get Hired!
- 09/27/13 12:58 AM
Here is a quick interview that took place today at Family Abstract, Inc. Job Interview: Human Resources Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?" Old Man : "Honesty." Human Resources Manager: "I don't think honesty is a weakness." Old Man : "I don't really give a shit what you think." We are still Interviewing! Make it a great day from my family at Family Abstract to yours, all our very best! ======================================== … (5 comments)
live: Helium Comedy Club Presents.... ME, Please check it out!!
- 09/26/13 06:55 AM
It's You Tube Video Thursday, when I am not at Family Abstract, I am busy at the comedy clubs, here is my latest set from Helium, The number 1 comedy club in Philly!! Enjoy!! Leave me a comment.
From my family at Family Abstract, Inc. to yours all our very best!! … (4 comments)
live: The House We Build
- 09/03/13 03:53 AM
Family Abstract had the incredible opportunity to do Title Insurance on the house in this story. I hope you enjoy...
An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see … (4 comments)
live: Old Love... Last forever!
- 08/28/13 05:08 AM
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You need a piece of tail." The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind. Last night, you … (8 comments)
live: My Son's Room.... Wordless Wednesday Classic
- 08/21/13 04:55 AM
Make it a great day from all my Family at Family Abstract to yours and PLEASE give us a shot as your title insurance needs for PA, NJ, Md, Fl and Va. Thankls in advance,
From my family (including my wife) to all of you, All our very best. Please give us the honor and privedge of doing your title insurance for you or your clients, thanks in advance.
live: What do you see? What can we learn from Kids?
- 08/13/13 06:04 AM
When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard. What my kids see are flowers for Mom and blowing white fluff you can wish on. When I look at an old drunk and he smiles at me, I see a smelly, dirty person who probably wants money and I look away. What my kids see is someone smiling at them and they smile back. When I hear music I love, I know I can’t carry a tune, so I sit self-consciously and listen. What my kids hear is … (13 comments)
live: You Have Got To Read This… Truly Touching
- 07/31/13 01:57 AM
Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life. As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late … (87 comments)
live: Lovemaking Tips For Seniors
- 07/07/13 11:32 PM
So what does Lovemaking Tips for seniors have to do with Title Insurance at Family Abstract, I have no idea, but I hope you like them! 1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin. 5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember. 6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed. 7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.. 8. Make all the noise … (6 comments)
Bringing all parties together – that’s what we do!
Whether you are a Realtor, lender, broker, buyer or seller, your success is our mission!
Title Matters is a blog edited and maintained as a cooperative effort by the owners and employees of Family Abstract, Inc.
By combining our knowledge, skills and energy we can share what we know, find answers to questions, and do what a good title company is supposed to do – bring all the parties together!
I hope you'll take 5 minutes to watch and comment on the set I did for the Philadelphia Comedy Contest. Since the collapse of the Refinance market, I have been in search of PLAN B, doing Stand Up comedy is paving my way towards Key Note Speaking. My next Show is Sunday Night, another contest being held at The Sunday Funnies Resolution Romp! Buffalo Billiards, 118 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19106. If your in or around Philly, stop in and say hello. 
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