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smile: Golf verse Tennis, A Real quick joke! - 05/21/13 07:54 AM
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?" I hope you have a great day, from your friends at Family Abstract! (5 comments)
smile: Airline Ground Crews are very funny!! - 04/01/13 12:37 PM
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by Maintenance engineers!! By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.(Knock on wood)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight (2 comments)
smile: My 2nd Night At Stand-Up Comedy - 03/01/13 08:42 AM
I am re blogging this post because I really want to know if you think I'm on to something. I have been searching for a Plan B for 27 years while in the Title Insurance Business. Is Stand Up Comedy a Good Plan B for Me, YOU DECIDE. The opening bit is the same as my initial 1st time ever on stage but then it switches up.
For THE 2 PEOPLE, THAT SAW AND COMMENTED ON THIS YESTERDAY, I APOLOGIZE, ABOUT TRICKING YOU INTO TO SEEING IT AGAIN! GLENN =============================================================================== (9 comments)
smile: Todays Laughs come from the Elderly! - 02/26/13 10:12 AM
Our clients at Family Abstract, Inc. range in age from 21 to 101, my favorite group are the seniors. The wisdom, knowledge and overall sense they bring is remarkable. I hope you enjoy the following quickie jokes. A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid-eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to (13 comments)
smile: THE BOTTLE OF WINE ( A quick Cute Joke G Rated) - 02/21/13 09:00 AM
For all of you who are married, were married, wish you were married or wish you were not married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine: My wife was driving home from one of her business trips, in Northern Arizona, when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road. ============================================================================
smile: Understanding Your Wife On Valentines Day, Paperback Edition - 02/14/13 08:41 AM
As a public service, Family Abstract Inc. is willing to send anyone a copy of the NEW PAPER BACK edition of Understanding Your Wife On Valentines day. Simply send $549.00 for postage and handling and we'll take care of the rest! Happy Reading and good luck to us all! I love my wife I love my wife I love my wife This is a recording! Have a great day, hug them, squeeze, love them, give them your heart and your soul. Tomorrow is coming! Here is a quick Valentines Joke: Fred was driving home from one of his business trips, (14 comments)
At Family Abstract, our title insurance company, we hear so much about Technology and the "Advancements" they all have concerning the human race. The question is what about the Human interaction. Has technology improved you as a person or made you more distant to your inner most circle of friends, family and clients? The following pictures give a pretty good understanding of Einsteins Brilliance, way before he could have understood his own luminosity. Enjoy, please leave a comment or share.
The day that Albert Einstein feared has finally arrived!
Having Coffee with friends
smile: Far Side Biblical Real Estate lesson #2 (Humorous) - 11/29/12 06:43 AM
When my title company, Family Abstract is dealing with the best in the business, everyone wants everyone to know exactly how many people they have made happy. Real Estate agents and Mortgage companies love to brag how they are a top 1% real estate agent or the mortgage company funds over 150 million dollars a month: well in this Far Side Cartoon, it appears there is a limit even at the highest powers.
We are extremely thrilled to be in type of business that allows us in some small way to be a part of the greatest people on earth! (2 comments)
We are extremely thrilled to be in type of business that allows us in some small way to be a part of the greatest people on earth! From my family to yours, from Title Insurance commitment to policy, all our very best! Take at least a moment each day to smile and laugh, then call Family Abstract for all your title needs in PA, NJ, MD and FL. At Family Abstract, Inc. We look forward to making you, and your clients smile very day, especially the day of settlement. Please like us on Facebook, Please “Plus 1 us on Google, (5 comments)
smile: I can't tell you father ( A quick joke) - 11/27/12 01:38 PM
PLEASE Like Family Abstract, Inc. if you like this joke! 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ? 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'. "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' (6 comments)
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month. Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, (4 comments)
smile: You may remember the old Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days: - 10/24/12 07:10 AM
Shecky Greene, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Joey Bishop, Milton Berle,Jan Murray, Danny Kaye, Henny Youngman, Buddy Hackett,Sid Caesar, Groucho Marx, Jackie Mason,Victor Borge, Woody Allen, Joan Rivers, Lenny Bruce, George Burns, Allan Sherman, Jerry Lewis, Peter Sellers, Carl Reiner, Shelley Berman, Gene Wilder, George Jessel,Alan King, Mel Brooks, Phil Silvers, Jack Carter, Rodney Dangerfield, Don Rickles, Jack Benny Mansel Rubenstein and so many others. And there was not one single swear word in their comedy. Here are a few examples: * I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. * I've been in love (6 comments)
smile: It's Friday take a minute to smile! - 10/19/12 06:04 AM
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU’LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST! KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN. 1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF. 2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT (8 comments)
smile: Top 15 Corporate Terminologies you should know - 07/23/12 01:21 PM
With the constant chaos that seems to be plaguing the Mortgage industry, we at Family Abstract, Inc., a Title Insurance company that is fortunate enough to do a lot of the work from some of the nations greatest lenders, can sympathize with this sign spotted in a clients office today. I was walking through the office and on the wall of the "HR" department was the following sign.... ENJOY! COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you. CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay you (7 comments)
Disclaimer: ActiveRain Corp. does not necessarily endorse the real estate agents, loan officers and brokers listed on this site. These real estate profiles, blogs and blog entries are provided here as a courtesy to our visitors to help them make an informed decision when buying or selling a house. ActiveRain Corp. takes no responsibility for the content in these profiles, that are written by the members of this community.