| |
long island realtor: DON'T MESS WITH A WOMAN! - HUMOR & WISDOM - 11/27/08 08:10 AM
"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
•· If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
•· If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
•· If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
•· If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
•· She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."
… (2 comments)
|
long island realtor: NO SMILEY FACES HERE! - 10/31/08 08:30 AM
True Friendship -- None of that Sissy Crap
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good,
But never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cute little smiley faces on this card -- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
… (13 comments)
|
long island realtor: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? IT WAS POLITICAL HUMOR! - 10/20/08 10:54 PM
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! JOHN McCAIN: My friends, That chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. And by the way, I'd like to tell you a little story about the chicken, many years ago that chicken was a prisoner of war... HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experie nce ma kes me uniquely qualified to ensure … (7 comments)
|
long island realtor: What else? POLITICS!!!! & HUMOR - 10/17/08 07:56 PM
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the senator. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose … (7 comments)
|
long island realtor: POLITICS 101 - EVEN I CAN UNDERSTAND THIS! HUMOR - 10/15/08 04:49 PM
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, l et me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the
Government..
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you
the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the
Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that … (11 comments)
|
long island realtor: A HUMOROUS START TO THE NEW YEAR - 10/02/08 04:14 AM
Wishing you all a very Happy, Healthy, and prosporous year ahead! Lashana Tova!
On the morning of Rosh Hashana as the congregation was filing into the sanctuary, Rabbi Feldman noticed little Max standing in the foyer of the synagogue staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names, with small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the Rabbi walked up,stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Boker tov, Max. ''Boker tov, Rabbi Feldman,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Rabbi Feldman, … (8 comments)
|
long island realtor: SAFEST HIGH PAYING INVESTMENT FOR YOUR DOLLARS - HUMOR - 10/02/08 04:08 AM
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.
If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund you would have $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is … (4 comments)
|
long island realtor: BAY SHORE NY, PINE AIRE DRIVE - COMMERCIAL - PUBLIC STORAGE - 09/27/08 04:31 PM
I have a shy 2 Acres available on Pine Aire Drive in Bay Shore, NY that has been down zoned from residential to INDUSTRIAL 1.
This property has already received approval for a PUBLIC SELF STORAGE Facility and is waiting to be developed and sold or developed and operated.
There are over 26,000 square feet of self-storage space approved. The location has its own exit from the Sagtikos Expressway and runs along side the Long Island Railroad.
HIGH TRAFFIC LOCATION - PERFECT FOR PUBLIC STORAGE FACILITY - 4 BUILDINGS APPROVED
… (1 comments)
|
long island realtor: I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU! - HUMOR - 09/27/08 03:29 PM
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner … (12 comments)
|
long island realtor: CAN TIDE KEEP YOU OUT OF JAIL? - 09/23/08 08:42 PM
Dear TIDE ,
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better!
About a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed … (11 comments)
|
long island realtor: IRS HUMOR...IF ANYTHING ABOUT THE IRS CAN BE FUNNY - 09/20/08 03:22 PM
IRS Tax Auditor at the synagogue At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books, he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?" "Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles." "Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: What about all these matzo (bread) purchases? … (9 comments)
|
long island realtor: NOT ONE COMMENT? ARE YOU KIDDING? DO ELEPHANTS REALLY REMEMBER? A TOUCHING STORY - 09/11/08 08:34 PM
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University ...
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with … (6 comments)
|
long island realtor: BETCHA' DIDN'T KNOW THIS - 08/21/08 05:57 PM
ALABAMA ... Was the first place to have 9-1-1, started in 1968. ALASKA ... One out of every 64 people has a pilot's license. ARIZONA ... Is the only state in the continental U.S. that doesn't follow Daylight Savings Time.ARKANSAS ... Has the only active diamond mine in the U.S.CALIFORNIA ... Its economy is so large that if it were a country, it would rank seventh in the entire world.COLORADO ... In 1976 it became the only state to turn down the Olympics.CONNECTICUT ... The Frisbee was invented here at Yale University.DELAWARE ... Has more scientists and engineers than any other … (7 comments)
|
long island realtor: 260 Beverly Road, South Huntington NY 11746 SOLD - 07/31/08 12:10 PM
SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD
For all of those buyers who are looking for homes in Huntington Township, please be aware that the property at 260 Beverly Road in South Huntington has been sold and it is closed.
New owners are now occupying the property and prefer not to be visited or contacted.
I am delighted we are still getting such a wonderful response so to all of you househunters, give me a call at 631-425-6150 or contact me at Gail@GailGladstone.com and I will be happy to show you available homes.
… (2 comments)
|
long island realtor: SEX AFTER MARRIAGE - HUMOR - 06/16/08 02:52 PM
One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was ouching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.
He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle stroking then started up the inside of … (12 comments)
|
long island realtor: POLITICS - IRISH STYLE - 06/14/08 08:19 AM
The Irish are such clear thinkers:
'We, in Ireland , can't figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election in the United States . On one side, you have a witch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, running against a lawyer who is married to a witch who is a lawyer. On the other side, you have a war hero married to a good looking rich woman who owns a beer distributorship. What are you lads thinking over there?'
… (7 comments)
|
long island realtor: Happy Father's Day? - 06/11/08 12:20 PM
At this time of year i am reminded of an a classified ad I had published in the Miami Herald (I was living and employed in Gainesville Florida at the time).
The Ad read:
From the Children of Rae Friedenn
On This Day Made for all Fathers
I Take off my Hat and Salute my MOTHER.
Mom, I know you're looking down at me now and the feelings have not changed; Mom, I salute you!
… (2 comments)
|
long island realtor: How Do You Handle Adversity? Like a Carrot, An Egg or a Cup of Coffee - 06/11/08 12:16 PM
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...
You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her abouther life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came … (3 comments)
|
long island realtor: FOOTBALL FROM A BLONDE'S VIEW - HUMOR - 06/10/08 05:14 PM
This guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it. 'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over like 25 cents.' Dumbfounded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?' 'Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only … (4 comments)
|
long island realtor: 50 FUN THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR - HUMOR - 06/08/08 04:39 PM
50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shutup, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"4. Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.6. On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you're on rough seas.7. Shave. (Especially if you're a woman.)8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask:"Got enough air in there?"9. Offer … (9 comments)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Gail Gladstone
Huntington,
NY
More about me…
Gladstone Group & Long Island Business Brokerage
Address: 191 Manor Road, Huntington, NY, 11743
Office Phone: (631) 425-6150
Cell Phone: (516) 241-4844
Email Me
 Links
Archives
|
;)
;)
