long island realtor: DON'T MESS WITH A WOMAN! - HUMOR & WISDOM - 11/27/08 08:10 AM
"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
•· If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
•· If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
•· If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
•· If you give … (2 comments)
|
long island realtor: NO SMILEY FACES HERE! - 10/31/08 08:30 AM
True Friendship -- None of that Sissy Crap
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good,
But never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cute little smiley faces on this … (13 comments)
|
long island realtor: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? IT WAS POLITICAL HUMOR! - 10/20/08 10:54 PM
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! JOHN McCAIN: My friends, That chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. And by … (7 comments)
|
long island realtor: What else? POLITICS!!!! & HUMOR - 10/17/08 07:56 PM
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around … (7 comments)
|
long island realtor: POLITICS 101 - EVEN I CAN UNDERSTAND THIS! HUMOR - 10/15/08 04:49 PM
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, l et me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call … (11 comments)
|
long island realtor: A HUMOROUS START TO THE NEW YEAR - 10/02/08 04:14 AM
Wishing you all a very Happy, Healthy, and prosporous year ahead! Lashana Tova!
On the morning of Rosh Hashana as the congregation was filing into the sanctuary, Rabbi Feldman noticed little Max standing in the foyer of the synagogue staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names, … (8 comments)
|
long island realtor: SAFEST HIGH PAYING INVESTMENT FOR YOUR DOLLARS - HUMOR - 10/02/08 04:08 AM
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 … (4 comments)
|
long island realtor: BAY SHORE NY, PINE AIRE DRIVE - COMMERCIAL - PUBLIC STORAGE - 09/27/08 04:31 PM
I have a shy 2 Acres available on Pine Aire Drive in Bay Shore, NY that has been down zoned from residential to INDUSTRIAL 1.
This property has already received approval for a PUBLIC SELF STORAGE Facility and is waiting to be developed and sold or developed and operated.
There are … (1 comments)
|
long island realtor: I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU! - HUMOR - 09/27/08 03:29 PM
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward … (12 comments)
|
long island realtor: CAN TIDE KEEP YOU OUT OF JAIL? - 09/23/08 08:42 PM
Dear TIDE ,
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better!
About a month ago, I spilled some … (11 comments)
|
long island realtor: IRS HUMOR...IF ANYTHING ABOUT THE IRS CAN BE FUNNY - 09/20/08 03:22 PM
IRS Tax Auditor at the synagogue At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books, he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?" "Good question," noted the … (9 comments)
|
long island realtor: NOT ONE COMMENT? ARE YOU KIDDING? DO ELEPHANTS REALLY REMEMBER? A TOUCHING STORY - 09/11/08 08:34 PM
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University ...
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.
He got down on one … (6 comments)
|
long island realtor: BETCHA' DIDN'T KNOW THIS - 08/21/08 05:57 PM
ALABAMA ... Was the first place to have 9-1-1, started in 1968. ALASKA ... One out of every 64 people has a pilot's license. ARIZONA ... Is the only state in the continental U.S. that doesn't follow Daylight Savings Time.ARKANSAS ... Has the only active diamond mine in the U.S.CALIFORNIA ... … (7 comments)
|
long island realtor: 260 Beverly Road, South Huntington NY 11746 SOLD - 07/31/08 12:10 PM
SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD
For all of those buyers who are looking for homes in Huntington Township, please be aware that the property at 260 Beverly Road in South Huntington has been sold and it is closed.
New owners are now occupying the property and prefer not to be … (2 comments)
|
long island realtor: SEX AFTER MARRIAGE - HUMOR - 06/16/08 02:52 PM
One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was ouching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his … (12 comments)
|
long island realtor: POLITICS - IRISH STYLE - 06/14/08 08:19 AM
The Irish are such clear thinkers:
'We, in Ireland , can't figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election in the United States . On one side, you have a witch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, running against a lawyer who is married to a … (7 comments)
|
long island realtor: Happy Father's Day? - 06/11/08 12:20 PM
At this time of year i am reminded of an a classified ad I had published in the Miami Herald (I was living and employed in Gainesville Florida at the time).
The Ad read:
From the Children of Rae Friedenn
On This Day Made for all Fathers
I Take off my Hat … (2 comments)
|
long island realtor: How Do You Handle Adversity? Like a Carrot, An Egg or a Cup of Coffee - 06/11/08 12:16 PM
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...
You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her abouther life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was … (3 comments)
|
long island realtor: FOOTBALL FROM A BLONDE'S VIEW - HUMOR - 06/10/08 05:14 PM
This guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it. 'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't … (4 comments)
|
long island realtor: 50 FUN THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR - HUMOR - 06/08/08 04:39 PM
50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shutup, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"4. Whistle the … (7 comments)
|
;)
;)
