Ghandi Abudayeh's Blog

Heaven and Hell

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 15:09:51 -0700

A property manager dies and soon finds himself standing in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells him "You have a choice of going to heaven or to hell and I suggest you check them both out before deciding." So he chooses to check out hell first.

He goes down to hell and finds himself in the middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People are dancing and drinking and doing the limbo (and nobody's doing the Macarena!). Everyone is laughing and having a great time.

Next St. Peter takes him up to heaven to look around. Everything is white and pristine. People are speaking softly about philosophy and mathematical formulas. Others are simply contemplative and serene. He's bored in about five minutes.

St. Peter then says to the property manager, "I want you to sleep on it and meet me back here in the morning to let me know your decision." The next morning he comes back and says to St. Peter, "Heaven is very nice and all, but hell looks great, so I've decided that I want to go to hell". So St. Peter puts him on the escalator down to hell.

When he gets there he sees Satan whipping people and there's fire everywhere and everyone is screaming in pain. So he goes over to Satan and says "Hey, what gives here? Yesterday I came here to check the place out and everyone had me partying and it looked like a great time. What happened?"

Satan looks at him and says "You used to be a property manager so you ought to know the answer to your own question. Yesterday you were a prospect. Today you're just another resident!"

Gotcha!

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Mon, 28 May 2007 12:59:00 -0700

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his car. Then he sat in the front seat fumbIing around with his keys for several minutes. The man was so drunk that everyone else left the bar and drove off before he had even put the keys in the ignition. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away. Chuckling at the pathetic driver, the police officer stopped him read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how this could be. The driver replied "Tonight I am the designated decoy."

Oscor Dela Hoya Vs Mayweather

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Sun, 06 May 2007 12:13:45 -0700

i was really hoping that oscar would of won that boxing fight, ive followed him for a long time, it was a great fight though, he got in a couple of good hits. so did mayweather, i hope theres a rematch.

Housing Market Heats Up Again in New York City

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Wed, 02 May 2007 09:03:06 -0700

As i mentioned in a previous blog, some people dont know what they're talking about when it comes to real estate. i came across an article in the NYtimes about houseing market in NY

The article states that since the new year began, a burst of activity has broken out in Manhattan and several Brooklyn neighborhoods, Buyers are looking for co-ops, condominiums and town houses which send prices higher despite sluggish sales in many other cities.

"Preliminary indications from real estate firms showed that this increased activity, with open houses jammed and bidding wars taking place, has occurred in all price ranges - from tiny studios in the East Village to red-brick mansions on the Upper East Side - in counterpoint to the heavily weighted record sales of luxury properties that led the market in the late summer and fall".....so when your family members or friends start lecturing you about the housing market in NY just let them know the facts

heres the link to the article. enjoy. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/19/nyregion/19market.html?ex=1329541200&en=4e5058c3f809de9b&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

Annoying family members

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Wed, 02 May 2007 08:43:46 -0700

Being a Real estate Agent with Century 21 has made me a topic of discussion at family gatherings for the simple fact that my friends and family members all want to know about real estate, they are not interested in becoming a realtor, they just want to know the inside scoop, "do you have a good deal on a great house" but they're willing to pay 200K below the asking price,(lol). Or they tell you that real estate is going down, its going to crash, that i should leave and get into something else. it just upsets me that some people like to run their mouths off and pretend to know what they're talking about. i guess they are frustrated with their 9-5 job that they need a punching bag, but i take it with stride and inform them that the facts.

An honest lawyer

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Tue, 01 May 2007 12:03:39 -0700

An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my dad lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

He squirmed in his seat and admitted, "My dad sued me for the money."

Apllied Math

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Tue, 01 May 2007 11:51:21 -0700

The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to sell the house.
There are 85 million in school,
which leave 48 million to sell the house.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
This leaves 19 million to sell the house.
4 million are in the Armed Forces,
which leaves 15 million to sell the house.
Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to sell the house.
There are 188,000 in hospitals,
so that leaves 12,000 to sell the house.
Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons.
That leaves Just two people to sell the house. You and me.
And you're just sitting there reading jokes all day!

All of life's annoyances

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 09:30:29 -0700

Doesn't It Annoy You When...

1. ...there's a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and the owner is nowhere to be found?

2. ...you buy an answering machine so you won't miss any calls, and then everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer?

3. ...there's a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to drive 10-15 mph slower than the speed limit?

4. ...you're reading a magazine and all those annoying little subscription cards keep falling out?

5. ...you tell someone that a door is locked and they try to open it anyway, like it'll magically open for them and not you.

6. ...someone says, "well, to make a long story short" and then they go on telling it for another 15 minutes.

7. ...a friend or family member says "Yuck! This is awful!!" and then tells you to try some.

8. ...you have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just looking around.

9. ...you rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.

10. ...a waiter or waitress is not around at any time other than right after you put food in your mouth.

11. ...your tire gauge lets half the air in your tire when all you want is a pressure reading.

12. ...there's a dog in your neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.

13. ...the power goes out, and you discover every flashlight you have has dead batteries.

14. ...someone gets in the express lane at the supermarket and writes a check or uses a credit card.

15. ...the elevator stops at every floor and nobody gets on.

16. ...you almost ALWAYS back up your computer files but the week you don't, your hard drive crashes and you lose everything.

Difference between a Broker and a Rookie Agent

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 09:56:00 -0700

i came across this pic on the web about why dogs come in different sizes. i looked at the picture for a moment then it hit me,

the big dog is a broker and the small dog is a rookie agent

Big difference huh, lol thought it was funny to share

(not that im calling brokers and agents dogs)

What is Home?

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 10:09:03 -0700

i came across a a statement on the internet that i would like to share to all of you. its called "what is a home" by Ernestine Schumann-Heink

Enjoy

What is Home?
A roof to keep out the rain. Four walls to keep out the wind. Floors to keep out the cold. Yes, but home is more
than that. It is the laugh of a baby, the song of a mother, the strength of a father. Warmth of living hearts, light
from happy eyes, kindness, loyalty, comradeship. Home is first school and first church for young ones, where
they learn what is right, what is good and what is kind. Where they go for comfort when they are hurt or sick.
Where joy is shared and sorrow eased. Where fathers and mothers are respected and loved. Where children are
wanted. Where the simplest food is good enough for kings because it is earned. Where money is not so
important as loving-kindness. Where even the teakettle sings from happiness. That is home. God bless it.

12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web Addicts

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 15:26:42 -0700

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web. 2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing. 3) I will get dressed before noon. 4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web. 5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived. 6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web. 7) I will read a book... if I still remember how. 8) I will listen to those around me about their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web. 9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email. 10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not. 11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web. 12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime... and the Web will always be there tomorrow!

Real Estate Office Lingo

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 14:10:25 -0700

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: " You'll need it to replace three people who just left. "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:" You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:" You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect. "GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:" Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do. "I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION:"I've used Microsoft Office. "I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE:" I pilfer office supplies. "MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES:" I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had. "I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK:" I blame others for my mistakes. "I'M PERSONABLE:" I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers. "I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL:" I carry a Day-Timer. "I AM ADAPTABLE:" I've changed jobs a lot. "I AM ON THE GO:" I'm never at my desk. "I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED:" The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there. "I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON:" Like, I'm gonna hold my breath waiting for your form letter thanking me "for my interest and wishing me luck in my future career".

Cut Workload

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 14:07:57 -0700

Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two of them.

Main Entrance- funny

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 08:58:38 -0700

A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST AGENTS.' He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST COMMISSIONS.' The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'

Glossary of Terms-- this is funny but true

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 13:07:08 -0700

Spacious - average
Charming - small
Comfortable - very small
Cozy - very, very small
Low maintenance - no lawn
Walk to stores - nowhere to park your car
Prestgious - expensive
Bright and sunny - venetian blinds not included
Townhouse - former tenement
Modern - 30 to 40 years old
Contemporary - at least 15 years old
Sprawling ranch - inefficient floor plan
Natural setting - forget about planting, the deer will eat everything
Secluded setting - far away
Executive neighborhood - high taxes
Near houses of worship - fanatical denomination next door
Park-like setting - a tree on the block
Unaffected charm - needs painting
Starter home - run down
Hurry! Won't last - about to collapse
And much, much more - nothing else comes to mind

Top Ten Reasons why it is great to be an appraiser

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 13:04:18 -0700

10. Dazzle your friends with your knowledge of external obsolescence.
9. The wonderful world of rats, bats, and spiders.
8. Be a part of the profession blamed for the collapse of the savings and loan industry.
7. See places in people's houses that usually require a search warrant to access.
6. Arouse the suspicion of an entire neighborhood when inspecting comparable sales.
5. Chance to really irritate annoying real estate salespeople.
4. Walk around holding a clipboard just like "Skip" down at the Jiffy Lube.
3. Spend hours writing volumes of supporting documentation to justify the market value of a property you already decided on when you pulled into the driveway.
2. See that some people really do hang those black velveteen pictures of Elvis on their living room walls.
1. Be one of a handful of people who know that USPAP is not a medical term.

Congratulations on your new home

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 08:30:21 -0700

A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace".

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new home".

Business one-liners 01

Ghandi Abudayeh (Century 21 city View) — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 08:24:08 -0700

A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.

A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.

A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.

A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.

A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead.

A bird in the hand is dead.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.