From RealSource... Glenn's Blog

Honk, Honk!

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 05:33:43 -0600

Do you know why you "honk?"

That is, do you understand the targets of your messages? Do you even consider this?

Traffic in big cities is usually very aggressive and often congested. On a recent trip to New York, I noticed taxi drivers often honk when there is congestion but where the honk has no apparent target. That is, no clear obstacle that could move and solve the congestion.

It made me wonder if the drivers are not necessarily honking to get traffic moving but, instead, to make sure the passengers still feel there is a sense of urgency, especially since that meter is running.

After all, a driver that looks like he is out for a leisurely drive while the meter is running is far less likely to get a tip and may even get complaints. But a driver working to move along quickly... now there is someone worthy of a tip, right?

So it appears to me that a honk may sound the same but really be for two different audiences, each with a different message. The honk may say, "Hey, get out of my way!" or it may say "See, I'm working hard for you." Sometimes the honk does both at the same time!

One other thing I noticed was that while taxis may honk periodically, they generally don't honk non-stop. A short occasional honk has a message that is heard by others. But almost endless "honk, honk, honk" is actually just an annoyance with no real message except frustration (or maybe even stupidity?). And it soon loses whatever message of value it was supposed to convey.

So what does this have to do with real estate and better communication?

Consider that we all "honk" (i.e., have messages). "Buy this house, agree to this listing, accept this offer, don't overprice." They are all "honks" and like a car horn, may spur action or may be ignored.

Sometimes our "honks" may sound the same but can serve more than one audience with a different intent. So be careful. What you say to a client may have a different meaning to an agent... or vice versa.

And remember to be mindful that you should not "honk" your message endlessly and continually, especially if you are already being ignored. Those "honks" really don't produce desired results. The become background noise, ignored by those on the street at they focus on the messages they are willing to hear.

To be effective, honk you message but be sure you know why you honk and who you are honking at (or for)! "Honk" with a purpose, not mindlessly.

Honk, Honk!

Perception is Unique

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 08:40:14 -0600

"We don't perceive things as they are, we perceive them as we are!"
~~ Anaïs Nin

Effective communication is very dependent on our perception. By nature, that makes our own perception unique from all others.

Our perception can also create big (often hidden) problems as we strive to connect with clients, colleagues, and even family and friends. This can result in lost deals, failed proposals, and sometimes accidental hurt feelings.

You see, we respond to others based on what we see, hear and feel. Or, more accurately, we respond based on what we think we see, what we think we hear and how we think we feel.

Keep in mind that our perception of the world is heavily influenced by our own experience, culture, attention, assumptions, bias and agenda.

I find that many of the most effective communicators often see past their own influences to understand others better. The consideration of the view point of others is very powerful. And I'm not talking about a projection of your own views onto others. I am referring to a true, deliberate action to consider view other than our own.

For example, have you ever spoken with a stranger on the phone and wonder why they seem mad or upset with you (and assuming you've not been rude or inappropriate)? Did you consider that they may indeed be upset but it may have absolutely nothing to do with you? Perhaps they had a fight that morning with their spouse or they are having money trouble or the dog is sick.

The fact is that you often have no real factual idea why the are upset, just that you are on the receiving end of this problem and, by experience, assume it is thus some how about you. However, to assume their behavior is solely based on you and nothing else is, well, self-centered.

Before jumping to a "feeling" based conclusion and responding based on that conclusion, consider the facts you do know and those you do not know. Unless you are explicitly told, you likely do not know why that person is really upset. Odds are that it is not all because of you. Sorry. So don't make it about you as a response.

Considering the perspective of others is hard. It requires practice. But as you get better at it, you can also get better at understanding how you are perceived. Together, all of this improves your ability to communicate with others.

And improving our communication helps our clients, our colleagues, our family and our friends!

The Power of Genuine Appreciation

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 15:19:33 -0600

Do you want to know a way to get better service, more loyal customers, and stronger relationships at work and at home?

Consciously recognize things you appreciate, then express GENUINE thanks.

It sounds easy and simple. So why do so few do it regularly? Oh, they may mindlessly say the words "thank you" as a matter of courtesy and social habits. But that is not the same. That is polite but not really appreciative.

The challenge of genuine appreciation is it requires regular attention to all that we should appreciate but often take for granted. Appreciation requires consideration and understanding of the effort, perspective, intention and value of others.

You cannot accidentally appreciate. It is a deliberate action.

It requires recognition.

It requires thought.

It requires perspective.

It is rewarding to all.

I have a few clients that when they call they always apologize for interrupting my work. I'm very glad they called. If clients didn't call, we would not have business. They ARE my work.

So I appreciate every call, even if the caller is unhappy about something. They are giving me the opportunity to make things better. They are expressing confidence in me that I will improve the situation. In one way or another, every call is a call that demonstrates trust. If they did not trust us, they would be calling someone else. I appreciate every call.

Because appreciation is an action, that means it is a skill you can actually practice to improve. We can improve our attention and our expression of thanks.

For instance, a great place to practice regular genuine appreciation is with strangers at restaurants. Even fast food restaurants. Talk WITH the waiter/order taker, not AT them. Smile. A real smile. Be pleasant. Be cooperative. Be friendly. Have a sense of humor.

Do you have to do this? Of course not. And it takes effort. But do this regularly and I promise you will not only feel better about how you've treated another human being but, more times than not, you will get better service too!

People will appreciate that you have treated them with respect and good humor (something they rarely see). And if this can work here with only a brief conversation with a stranger, imagine how it can improve the relationship with those you come in contact with every day.

I know everyone that reads my writing is busy. We all are busy in our worlds. I appreciate that you take the time to read my posts. Really. When a comment comes online or through email, I feel very honored that someone would not only read it, but take the time to participate in the topic. You don't have to do that. And I know that. Thank you!

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On a related note, this prior post may be of interest... "What if Everyone was Great?"

What if Everyone was Great?

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 07:46:52 -0500

Ever hear another Realtor or a loan officer frequently express frustration about their clients, colleagues or employees making things hard?

Now, I know some clients are really just difficult people. Hey, so are some of the so-called "professionals."

But I am talking about the professionals that, for some reason, expect EVERYONE else to be equally knowledgeable, professional and efficient. If anyone does not meet that standard, they get frustrated or even upset.

It would indeed make life great if everyone we worked with was educated, qualified, funded, logical and clear on their goals. Or would it?

Consider this...

If the client is already educated, qualified, funded, logical and clear on their goals... what do they need you for? A little efficiency? That assumes you are more efficient. You may not be. If you cannot bring significantly more to the table than the client can bring on their own, why are you involved?

What if all of the your staff was as good at your job as you... are you needed as their leader?

If all of the other Realtors or loan officers you work with are as good at their job as you, how will you advance your career? Then you would be just one of the pack and nothing special!

Do clients and collagues that need help take more effort? Of course! However, I believe contantly complaining about the effort required to assist them is not a good thing.

In fact, when I hear someone who regularly complains about their clients, employees or colleagues, I usually suspect it is because the complainer is lazy (and may also have major self esteem issues). I suspect they don't like the work needed to accomplish the task correctly. Or they are hiding from the task of correcting the problem. They complain instead of embracing the opportunity. And even if they are not lazy, they certainly don't sound professional.

Most people are generally smarter than we give them credit. Sooner or later, they start to understand if you are leading, following or being the real obstacle. If you are not leading, they may say something or, more likely, they find a way to quietly distance themselves from you.

So next time you get frustrated or impatient with someone on a project and they clearly do not have your industry knowledge or experience, remember this:

It is your golden opportunity to provide them true value.

That is where the money is to be made, where a great reputation is earned, where the referrals develop and the advancements start!

We Don't See Things The Same

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 10:23:05 -0500

We don't see the world as it is... we see it as we are.

That means that our reality will differ from the reality experienced by everyone you deal with... clients, brokers, loan officers, agents, recruiters, family and even the paper boy (they still have those, right?).

I see so many people that automatically assume some things I find wrong, strange or just different. And that can make a deal, a contract or a sale difficult.

Making this worse are the people that believe there the truths they see in the world... their perspective... is the only way the world exists. So they bully, push, pull and shove to get you and everyone else to understand how they are right.

So what do you do about this? Well, I would submit that considering the other perspectives is a first and critical step. Then look for ways to agree and ways to ask questions about things from the other perspective, instead of your own.

Pushing back information on someone that "knows" they are right rarely works. So don't. Instead, try to see the world as they do, then work with them as best you can. It does not mean you give in to them. Just be more interested in helping someone than showing them how right you are today.

Nerd-To-English

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 16:05:38 -0500

I can use your help. After months of posting only on AR, we've setup some new things.

We have our new outside blog, www.NerdToEnglish.com, online and it has been great fun. We've added speaking engagements, assessments and other services to the ways we are helping clients.

I'm posting here today because I'd love your feedback on this site. Good, bad, ugly, useful, useless, ideas, suggestions, "like to see" ideas, ....

Thanks and have a great day!! Glenn

People love their ideas more than puppies and kittens!

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 16:48:27 -0500

For the most part, puppies and kittens are loved by all. Even the gruff and the unpleasant usually melt a bit if you drop a young puppy or kitten in their lap.

While not as obvious, people love their ideas even more. And like a mother dog or cat, they will defend these ideas from all that threaten them, regardless of how appropriate or inappropriate the threat is (or perceived to be).

It's not always logical and it is not always beneficial. It is instinctive for most people.

So, why does this matter? Two reasons.

First, your ideas may be great... but likely not all of them. Allow some of them to fail or be defeated. It will help the others bloom and blossom as you focus energy on the winners instead of defending them all.

Second, realize that when you do not embrace someone else's ideas, they may unconsciously see it as an attack. Find ways to pull people along instead of pushing them. Find something to like about their ideas even if you do not love them or intend to use them. It will be appreciated if you are sincere.

This is very important in business negotiations, prospecting, selling and even cooperation with your clients, vendors and colleagues.

So, show some love for someone else's ideas when you can. (And don't pass up the chance to pet a puppy or kitten either!)

Big and Obscure Words... Good, Bad, Something Else? Can you use your help please!

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 21:20:16 -0500

I'm doing a poll on one of our new blogs and need your opinion about communication and people that use big and obscure words.

http://blog.nerdtoenglish.com/poll

Should take less than a minute.

I'm curious about this since I often hear lenders and real estate agents use their "lingo" around clients that don't understand all the language.

Thanks!! Glenn

P.S. I'll post results in a few days. I'm collecting data from several sources.

Birmingham, AL - Free Workshop: Communicate to Succeed!

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 10:31:03 -0500

We all have a specialty language that other see as "nerd speak" even if you don't. While that language may be great when working with colleagues, what about customers? Do they get it? Are you sure??

Come learn why customers, service providers and even colleagues fail to hear you... and what you can do about it!

Feel Your Message Gets Lost (or Ignored)? Learn Why!
We are All in Sales... Even if We are Just Selling Our Ideas!
Quit Pushing Your Ideas… No One Wants to Be Pushed!
Don’t Communicate to Impress… Communicate to Succeed!
Know How to Say “No” for Everyone’s Benefit! Brown Bag

Brownbag Lunch (bring your own)

FREE - Registration requested but not required.

Presenter: Glenn S. Phillips

Innovation Depot, 1500 1st Ave N, Birmingham, AL 35203

Wednesday, July 22, 2009 from 11:30 AM - 12:30 PM (CT)

Are Most Brokers are Like the Mob?

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 09:14:11 -0500

Jennifer Allan's post, "Good for you, let me know if you need anything." led me to think of Real Estate as an industry and the story of the emperor's new clothes.

While every industry has it's problems, I believe that the Real Estate industry has created some unique issues for itself that few wish to discuss openly. And probably because those in a position of power to change it are the same ones that financially benefit by the dysfunction.

One of the suprises for me as I learned more about the details of the Real Estate business in the last few years was how many real estate brokers are primarily in the business of renting desks and collecting a "piece of the action." Not all. But too many.

With all due respect, in some offices there are similarities to the mob. You have to be party of "the family." The law says so. You've got no where else to go but another "family." In time, you may can start your own "family."

And you are going to pay a piece of the action to the "family" on each deal, whether the "family" helps you out or not. In fact, you usually have to "prove" yourself to the "family" before you get much help. By then, if you survive, you may not need the help but that's cool. The "family" won't have to make the effort then either.

Why do they not help much in the beginning? They want to know if you "got what it takes" before they show much interest in helping. Survival of the fittest.

And there are turf wars over neighborhoods and customers, not only with other "families" but those in your own "family" too.

The old-school guys don't always see value of the young guns taking too much "action." Sometimes "killing a few off" preserves turf.

We deal with many agents and brokers from a different vantage point than agents, brokers and customers. It has been very revealing. In more cases than not, we found brokers that not only did little training and support but even "charged" a fee in some quasi-hidden way for any third-parties to have access to their agents for any reason, including educational.

I want to be clear. This is not all brokers. There are some that have figured out that they can increase their income from "pretty good" to "very good" by investing in their team and growing a great team. These people are a benefit to all those they interact with, including the public, their agents and even the economy.

But the majority we see don't bother building a real team because they make enough money with their own listings, buyers and renting desks to agents. It's enough money so why work any harder.

Attitudes are a reflection of leadership. And the leadership that could change this is the very same group that most benefits from it. Thus, they are not only incented to avoid change, they are incented to fight change. Thus, like George Orwell's Animal Farm, "All animals are created equal, but some animals are more equal than others."

Despite all this, there also remain Realtors surprised that the general public does not think highly of most the industry. This surprise to me is how many agents that are that out of touch with solid business concepts and/or consider all of the public as "lesser intelligence." And this serves no one, not even the agents.

I'm not sure there is an action point to this post. I don't see the model changing except to be gradually overwhelmed by a better informed public that will increasingly find ways around such dysfunction. The smart business people in this industry already know this and are making plans to be a part of these changes, for their benefit and to benefit the customers.

For the most part, the current business model rarely serves the customer best. However, history tells us bad business models and the market both self-correct over time. Tick. Tock.

This is Easy... as Long as Nothing Ever Goes Wrong!

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 20:21:34 -0500

This is Easy.

What is "this?" Well, most anything and everything.

But, yes, there is a catch.

You see, most things are generally easy... as long as nothing ever goes wrong.

Most jobs are harder than they look. So are most lines of business. And the better someone is at their job, the easier it looks to everyone else. That is why so many people think others are overpaid. They assume that because it looks easy, it must be easy.

But business, project and life rarely go without a hitch. The "hitches" are where the real professionals get the chance to separate themselves from the pretenders, the "wanna-bees," the complainers, the rookies and the amateurs.

The world gets further confused by the overly optimistic. These are so-called professionals that price their services as if it will all go perfect. They don't budget time or money for handling surprise problems. These super optimists usually go out of business but not before confusing the market about fees, under delivering work and/or losing a lot of their own money.

The customers also get confused by the "promisers." They talk a big game but deliver little. They may even mean well at the time but then just can't manage to follow up and deliver. They make it "look" easy at the start but not at the end (though they usually have great excuses).

The successful professionals do often make a job look easy. But only to those not paying close attention. These are the professionals that work hard, work smart and stay client focused. The projects are built to expect a surprise or two, whether it impacts time, money or both. This keeps their projects successful when others struggle. And they have the experience to be sure the surprises are handled efficiently and thoughtfully.

These pros remember why they are doing the job. And they remember that the best way to take care of themselves is to take great care of the customers. These successful people don't just hope it works out. They make their projects into winners on a consistent basis, in many different economies and markets!

Are they perfect? Of course not. But they do usually have consistency combined with the power to adapt and overcome.

Sounds easy, doesn't it? Yet so few pull it off well!

Impress or Success?

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 22:17:10 -0500

In all business discussions, there is a goal. Maybe not a stated, written-on-a-mission-statement type of goal. But there is still a goal.

Perhaps it is a goal to share information, impress someone, close a deal, make a sell, make a purchase, make a referral, learn something, teach something or even avoid answering a question.

A challenge for many people in business communications is that they may not keep in mind the goals of a conversation. They may also not understand or keep in mind the goals of the other people in the conversation.

A very common mistake in business discussions is forgetting the point of the conversation because of insecurities. This usually results in someone trying too hard to impress others. Candidly, we've all done this AND we've all had it done to us.

The problem with this is that it rarely impresses. People would rather observe actions, empathy and applicable expertise. In fact, working too hard to impress others actually does the opposite. All that effort can result in a loss of credibility. And that makes success very difficult.

Want to have more success? Just remember what you are trying to accomplish and listen regularly to others so you can understand what they are wanting to accomplish.

This sounds EXTREMELY simple but is often a lost skill (or a skill never learned). But like most skills, you can work and practice so this becomes second nature. And that is a good thing for all!

6 Tips for Handling "Disaster Makers"

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 10:55:23 -0500

We've all seen the deals that were a disaster. Some started that way. Others became disasters as they evolved, for any number of reasons.

Disasters create opportunity for the true smart professional to show the value they bring to the table. This is a great thing and a way for great reputations to be built. The seasoned pros may not love these projects but they embrace them and show they are the professional they have claimed to be (and are paid to be).

Unfortunately, it also creates opportunity for those that create the disasters to claim their value later for cleaning up their own mess.

These people just cost everyone time, money and energy.

The disaster creators are usually good at pointing fingers and blame, pulling everyone into the mess and may even honestly believe this is normal for a project or deal. What a waste.

A MARKET PROBLEM

How do the "disaster makers" stay in business? In my opinion, a problem in Real Estate is that most buyers and sellers do not get in the market often enough to know who to seek for professional help and who to avoid. And their friends, family and neighbors are usually not knowledgeable to distinguish the professionals that make the project easier from the ones that actually make it harder.

In other words, few people know who to believe. Not really. Buyers and seller usually just make a leap of faith.

Don't believe me? Ask 3 people outside your industry to name 3 ways you are a better Realtor than anyone else they know. Exclude answers about how nice you are, and how they see so many of your signs.

If they can't explain specific BUSINESS differences (such as "she sells 3 listings a month with an average days-on-market of 43, all within 4% of list price"), then I stand by my "leap of faith" model of Realtor selection for you as well. Sorry.

SIX TIPS FOR YOU

So, what can you do to better avoid the unnecessary disaster? Here are 6 tips to get you started!

1. Avoid the "disaster makers" when possible. Not just on deals but in life. We are all known by the company we keep, whether we realize or accept it or not. If you have an emotional need to "help", "fix" or "enable" others, find another place to do this or, even better, get counseling. Remember, your clients did not hire you to "rescue" others, they hired you to be "their" professional.

2. Acknowledge (to yourself) you cannot always avoid the "disaster makers" but you can minimize their impact by being proactive. And accept and embrace that to do this you will have to do more work to keep the deal focused.

You are not paid just to do the easy deals, your paid to make them all successful (even when you have to exert more effort to overcome challenges created by others).

3. Old Russian saying, "Trust but verify." Don't assume everyone will be as thorough and professional as you. That is not suggesting you micromanage everyone, just stay on top of the progress and issues to see they are being addressed appropriately.

4. Communicate clearly, accurately and regularly. Many disasters build because they were allowed to develop over time. Or were unknown to others that might could have solved the issue before it grew and came to light.

5. Avoid emotional aspects. Be the professional. Anger, rage, aggression, whining, complaining, and bullying are the tools of the "disaster makers." So don't go there. Be the calm in the storm.

In a storm at sea, we all would rather follow the captain that is calm and decisive than the raging, scared or thoughtless captain.

6. Establish clear futures. This makes others accountable, including yourself. You cannot control others but it can be established what is expected and done in a way that all understand. This make the problems areas more obvious and removes some of the tools, such as confusion, that the "disaster-makers" love.

For example, send an email after a discussion that says, "Thank you for your phone call. Per our discussion, you will have these documents to the title company by 3pm on Thursday. If there is any problem, you will notify me and Mr. Smith by that time. If I misunderstood any of this, please let me know immediately at...."

There will always be those that just make things harder than they should be, whether intentional, from inexperience, from arrogance or just honest mistakes.

And mistakes and surprises happen. To be honest, I am not as impressed with perfection as I am with how someone reacts and responds when there is a problem. And with those that know how to limit problems that naturally occur.

True professionals are the ones that add value by making a deal easier than it would be without them.

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Got ways to avoid the "Disaster Makers?" Please share!!

BIG WORDS are Not Your Friend

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 08:28:01 -0500

Big Words. Jargon. Lingo. TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms).

When striving to communicate for success, these are not your friend.

Why? Because most of the time the person you are talking to is not understanding. Essentially, you are talking AT them, not with them. And isn't the point of talking to communicate an understandable message?

Why do people talk this way? A number of reason:

1. They think it impresses people... "See how smart I am!" Sorry. They just think your a geek... or worse.

2. They have not developed any other ways of talking. I suggest they read more and record themselves.

3. They don't understand the perspective of the other person. This one takes effort but is important.

4. They don't care about the other person. Dumb *ss. See number 1 above again.

5. They were easily impressed when someone else did this and think its impressive. Sorry, that just suggests they have self esteem issues. See number 1 again!

Now granted, there are time where this type of language is useful and important, particularly when working or meeting with peers, mentors, bosses or others that use the same language. In these cases, the language of the business or project may be necessary and important. The language may even be a critical tool. But most of the time it isn't and if you want your projects and deals to succeed you better understand that quick!

Language is interesting. It is a tool. HOW you use it can often tell more than WHAT you say. What does your language say about you?

Often Overlooked Essential Step for Greater Success....

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 11:11:58 -0500

Everyone has what they think is the key, or "magic," to success. Hard work, experience, honesty, location, timing, connections, and such. And are usually very important, critical and key ingredients.

But all of these can still fail you unless you master the "magic" of the successful deal: EXPECTATIONS.

Disappointment comes from a failure to meet expectations, real or not. The project or deal may be a great success in your eyes and yet others may be disappointed. This disappointment may surface from your clients, your vendors, your staff, your boss or you.

Likewise, meeting and exceeding expectations creates raving fans! These people will send customers to you even without you asking. But to meet and exceed expectations usually means managing these and doing so early and often.

For instance, who has heard these comments:

"I didn't think I would need this much cash for closing!"

(Why did they think this? Not told, didn't listen, deal changed without notification, didn't understand?)

"I thought this house would be in better condition!"

(Why did they think this? Bad description, bad photos, preconceived notions, hopeful thinking?)

"I thought you were going to handle this!"

(Misunderstanding, failure to communicate or just a bully?)

"You should know you need pre-approval first!"

(If they knew that, they may not need your help!)

"Don't you know my time is valuable?"

(Maybe it is but if it is really valuable, it can be billed! If someone will not pay for it, maybe not so valuable ot others. What does each pary expect?)

After each of these types of comments, how did at least one party in the process look? Probably not very good.

Here are 5 TIPS for managing expectations:

1. Explain the situation, product, service, and/or time-line early, clearly and often. Expectations are created early, so create the right ones and then remembers to reinforce as you go.

2. Talk clearly about money, fees, commissions and financing. These are often topics that are postponed and that allows false expectations (and then disappointment) to develop and gain strength.

3. Ask questions to see that the other party listened and UNDERSTOOD. Some people wills say they understand when they don't because they are afraid of how they will appear. Help them out without being a know-it-all.

4. Listen actively for false expectations and professionally explain more realistic explanations ASAP. Don't wait to for reality to beat you to the punch, else you'll look unprepared.

5. Be aware and address your own expectations. Don't assume... know the outcome expected by everyone, including yourself. Make sure they match.

If you are ever greatly disappointed, it is likely you "expected" an outcome that may or may not have been guaranteed. It is okay to be hopeful and even disappointed, just in appropriate, practical, balance moderation.

Naturally, there are so many other ways to approach this topic and tips for setting and managing expectations. But doing so reduces the risk of others seeing your work or results as failure when it really is a success by the goals and standards set in the beginning.

Be measured by the real project, effort and outcome, not an exaggerated idea someone else created with imagination and lack of understanding! And you can have a role in this if you are not just reactive but are proactive.

Set and manage expectations and you'll see happier relationships, projects and deals!

Can You See Yourself?

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:27:06 -0500

Whether visiting a business, dining out or even reading AR posts and comments, I often wonder... are customers just an unwelcome interruption to most business people?

I see agents demanding proof of funds before beginning ANY business relationship (or even any effort).

I see cashiers talking on their cell phones.

I see title insurers sending out error-filled binders.

I see sales people stop mid-sentence with me to answer their cell phone.

I see customer service... that isn't customer oriented and isn't service.

I see businesses that won't return phone calls or answer emails.

I see so-called professionals that expect business just for showing up.

All this makes me wonder: If you were a stranger to yourself, would you really enjoy doing business with you?

Do you really hear what you are asking?

Do you see how you appear to others?

Do you care?

Who is the best in sales that you know... someone that you LOVE doing business with?

Are you better than that? (if so, congrats!!!)

If not, why?

And, what are you doing about it?

"Well Excuse Me, Can't You See I'm Talking!"

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Wed, 27 May 2009 09:55:31 -0500

Do you ever hear someone that is so intent on showing how much they know (or think they know) that they only talk about themselves and what is on their mind?

Or do you hear someone that is more concerned with being right than anything else?

How did you feel around those people? Did you enjoy the conversation? Was it helpful? Did you bond and feel it helped build a relationship?

More importantly, did you feel you were a valued part of the discussion or just a target?

Now the tough question... Ever been guilty of the above stated offenses?

I admit I have. As my wife says, I "have lots of words." But I am working hard to be sure my words are relative to the other person, that I ask questions and really listen to the answers, that I learn from the discussion and that my words are meaningful.

It is one thing to talk and share useful information. That can be good. But it is another to talk over and through others and fail to listen. That is bad.

Here is an easy way to remember....

Dialog = Good
Monologue = Not Good

Talking is okay. Just be self-aware of your conversation and constantly monitor it for value to all.

After all, if all your talking adds no value, interest, sales, or relationships then all your talking is like the farmer trying to teach the pig to sing.... it just wastes time and annoys the pig.

Tool More Powerful than Twitter, Facebook for Generating Business

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Wed, 27 May 2009 09:13:24 -0500

There is a tool more powerful than Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook that often goes ignored. You.

Sometimes we can all get stuck looking for a new tool, gadget, resource, system, short-cut or concept that we forget to stop, think, work.

Twitter, Facebook and all the other social media tools are just that: tools. It is up to you to use the appropriately and remember they are tools, not answers, solutions or shortcuts.

I see so many business professionals exclaim the value of these tools as exclusive answers. They are not answers, they are resources and resources that should be an appropriate part of your toolbox.

Not the only tool.

Business and life are complicated and involved. So are relationships with clients, colleagues, competitors, friends and family. Your tools, skills and effort for interaction, relationships and business must be varied as well.

Are you a tool keeper or a craftsman?

Can you "Be the Buyer?"

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Tue, 12 May 2009 10:01:23 -0500

I see many posts about how people qualify the customer by asking that the customer do some action or present some letter in advance.

For instance, comments such as, "I don't show houses to anyone that is not already pre-approved. If they are serious, then they will have already done this. Otherwise I don't waste my valuable time."

Hmmmm. Two questions:

1) Would you want to do business with this person?

2) Is this person you?

What works for you as a buyer? My last four property purchases I did not have a prequalification letter but was very capable of making the purchases... and did every time.

Am I an exception? Maybe. But maybe not as common of an exception as you think.

As a buyer, I had specific, defined and realistic criteria including price range, locations, general size, must-haves and like-to-haves. And money. We also did not bother a listing agent until we had already looked at info on-line and driven by the house on our own (thus ruling out a number of houses without bothering anyone).

At the same time, first-time buyers are seeking your help as an advisor, a mentor, a guide. With very little time investment (if you manage the process properly), you can start a healthy relationship and guide them through the process. After all, if they were good at this, they wouldn't need you!

And if you are dismissive of first-time buyers, who will they tell? Let's see... their family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and most anyone else that they talk with about their experience with you. How many of these people are, well "were", potential clients?

Did my lack of pre-approval make me "uncommitted?" Let's see: I went on the market to buy four times in the last few years and bought properties each and every time. Be careful what you use to assess "committed" at your own risk.

You see, in real estate, some of the ideas agents use to qualify clients will run off the uncommitted and unqualified buyers. But these same approaches will also run of the most exceptionally qualified and well funded clients too. These buyers will see you as a waste of their time and see that you are more focused on your time than theirs. As a customer, you would do the same, wouldn't you?

As a buyer, it was interesting to see listing agents behavior. Some blew me off, others were great. Initial impressions were important. Few made lasting impressions. If anyone is interested, I'll share what worked and what was a turn off as a buyer.

"Be the Buyer" and you'll understand more about how you should operate to be the kind of business you'd like to do business with!

Do You Ignore the Question?

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Tue, 12 May 2009 09:15:53 -0500

A discussion this morning left me pondering this for myself... and you.

How often do we give the right answer that has little to do with the question?

Here is what I observe watching discussions, including my own. People often hear a different question than was asked. Or derive a different meaning from the question that is sometimes false.

For instance...

You: "How long will it take me to get to downtown from here?"

Me: "Oh, not long. And the area has great bus service that has helped traffic. I especially like the open air trolley on pretty days."

Okay, there was some useful information in the answer. But you still don't know if it will take 10 minutes or an hour or even longer in rush hour. Now you have to ask again. Argggh.

House Buyer: "This house is a strange color to me. How much does it cost to get a house like this painted?"

Real Estate Agent: "This house is an exception in this neighborhood as most of the other houses are brick, including two I want you to see that are just around the corner. These brick houses are also newer and just listed on the market. I just love them and I think you will too."

Hmmm. Sounds like someone either can't listen, is threatened by questions or has an agenda to sell a different house than this one. The buyer may love this house, is ready to make an offer and is asking to determine his overall cost for updating it. Did the answer help this sale move forward?

WHY WE DON'T ANSWER THE QUESTION

Now I want to be clear that there are times answers are provided trying to be helpful and in anticipation of the next question. And there are times we perceive the questioner does not know what to ask and we are trying to get them the information they seem to be seeking. This can even be a useful and efficient way to carry on a conversation. Human nature includes anticipation in our communication normally.

I also see people that don't want to answer a question and thus just answer with what they want to say (see recent political debates). These are cases of people that listen very carefully to the question and made a conscious decision on what to say or not say.

Of course, sales people have a reputation (earned or not) for pushing the product through"supposed" answers. Some listen, some don't.

But outside of these cases, there are times we just don't listen well, regardless of our intentions. Perhaps we just plain did not consider the question. Maybe we did not understand it and thought we did. Maybe we had something else on your mind instead of listening.

CUSTOMER SERVICE

One of my customer service pet peeves are canned answers that don't answer my question. With technical projects, our team is very good. Before calling for support, we've typically ruled out not only the basics but have done our own research and even testing. By the time we call support, we are ready for real answers.

What usually happens? We get canned answers that are light years behind our efforts. And often our efforts to point this out are ignored, even when we explicitly describe our work to-date. Now, I realize that many front line support people are following their rules and recipe. But the companies that impress us also listen and respond appropriately and avoid creating an endless circle of useless answers.

THE POINT

The point of all this: Take time to listen and consider questions before answering.

One of the most frustrating things for many people is to ask a series of very specific questions and get long answers that still don't answer the question. It starts to feel like resistance, even if it is just careless listening of the questions. There are even some people that will stop asking and just give up on the topic. That is not always a good thing especially if the person is a potential customer, current customer, colleague, vendor, or family member.

So before you answer, listen well my friends. Communicate to succeed.

Perspectives. We all have ONE. Successful People have MANY!

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Sun, 03 May 2009 08:08:02 -0500

Perspective.

We all have one. Most successful people have many.

You hear people describe this in other ways, such as vision, understanding, success, and leader. But watch these successful people interact with others, listen to what they say and who they say it to, find how they can see problems from more than one direction.

If you want to find the best professionals to help you, find the ones that understand perspectives.

They operate differently because they work with the understanding that everyone else has a different perspective. They also tend to operate with the understanding that everyone else believes their individual perspective is "right."

If you want to be the best professional, learn to understand perspectives as part of your skill set.

Once you understand these concepts and how they effect how we all interact, you can communicate better because you can now communicate in a manner that fits the other party's perspective. This is central to getting others to at least consider what is presented, offered, sold, purchased or provided.

For instance, if you saw each of these on a billboard for a Realtor and could only call one of them for help, which would you select?

Example 1: Best Team In Town, 25 Years of Experience, We Believe in Service

Example 2: House Not Selling? We Solved this Problem for 16 Clients Last Month

Example 1 is what most people create and what most people see and, to be honest, ignore. That one is "All about the Realtor" but not about the customers. Me, Me, Me, Me, Me. You see this type of advertisement for other professions to, including plumbers, contractors, roofers, veterinarians, auto repair, landscapers and even advertising agencies.

Example 2 is about the potential customer's perspective and creates a perspective of a third-party, the other customers. It talks to the concern the customer may have and a possible solution they would like for themselves. It does not say Me, Me, Me, Me. In fact, it does not even say "How" or "Why" this Realtor is successful. And that is why people will call. They will want to know the secret to the success OTHER customers are having with this Realtor.

Here is an easy exercise for you.

1. Get a magazine from your industry that is distributed to the market of potential customers.

2. IMPORTANT: Think of yourself as a customer, not a professional in your industry. "BE" the customer.

3. Go through the magazine and look for the advertisements you feel are really only about the people that bought the ad (not as much about the customer) and count the ones you would REALLY LIKE to do business with now based ONLY on the ad (as if you don't know this company at all).

4. Now go through the magazine again and count the advertisements that you feel are more about the customer and count the ones you would REALLY LIKE to do business with now based ONLY on the ad (not your knowledge of the company).

Which group did the best convincing the customer (you) to consider calling? Which ads said the same things over and over (and did you believe them)? Which ads look most like yours? Is that good or bad?

There are so many other exercises like this we do when working on business communication. I encourage you to find exercises or workshops to improve this skill. And keep in mind that not everyone will open themselves up enough to accept that their perspective is not the best. That's okay. Success is not mandatory.

Seeing and having empathy for other perspectives, whether you agree or not, can be very hard. And even harder if emotions are involved. But you can be better at it with practice. And if you understand that your perspective may not always be right (so stop pushing it on others or defending yours "to the death"), you will be in a position to communicate better for everyone's sake!

And if you think this is not important or not something you can do (or would want to do), you are probably right. After all, your perspective is yours, not mine!

Bad News: The Media Didn't Change. You Did.

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 10:16:35 -0500

Two questions for you...

#1 - How often do you hear business professionals blast the media for the gloom-and-doom newsand criticize how the media is killing markets, such as real estate, auto, and stocks?

#2 - How often did you hear these same professionals give media praise and all the credit for helping fuel the prior boom in business?

I have long suggested that everyone, business professionals and consumers, should remember that the news headlines and even many stories are not really about the news story... it is about using news as a medium to attract attention. There is a difference. A big difference.

I also suggest that if you blame the media and economy as the reason your business deals are failing, does that mean the media and economy are the main reason you had prior success? What about your skills and experience as a business professional? Do they only work in "the good times?" Do you adapt, learn, adjust? Or just complain that the bad times are not your fault and act powerless?

Does the economy and public perception effect consumer behavior? Absolutely! But they do not control all business.

There are deals and sales being made every day. The economy has slowed... not stopped. The smart business people adapt, adjust and expect the economic cycles. They are painful at times but completely normal.

You and I cannot change basic economics and the normal cycles. But we can work professionally within these cycles.

I contend that professionals should be professionals in any economy. But not everyone embraces this. I considered this last Fall when I wrote Scare Clients Away! Whine About the Market (and show you are Not the Professional You Claim to Be)! I still believe this to be very true.

For those that are upset at the media, I submit that the media is doing what they have always done... they use headlines and bits of news to attract attention. Most media is not about the news, it is about the attention. And if you often complain about it, it shows the media is doing their job... you paid attention.

What is interesting is that the same approach by the media was actively used by professionals as "proof" during the boom for customers to buy and spend. Not many complaints about the media then, were there?

If you want to complain about the media now, keep this in mind... The media didn't change. You did.

Tell me I'm wrong.

I was a customer ... and Remarkable Service Broke Out

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 08:23:11 -0500

So yesterday I'm having lunch at a local chain restaurant, one of the fast-casuals as they call them (order at the counter, they bring the food to your table, they bus the tables).

And Remarkable Service Broke Out!

And by remarkable, I mean I literally "remarked" about it while still there.

A girl from the counter comes over and asks if I'd like a refill of my tea. It was in a clear plastic cup and we could both see it was about half gone but not empty. I looked at my cup and said, "Sure" figuring I don't really yet but maybe I won't have to worry about waiting on a refill later when it is empty.

The girl gets a big, big sincere smile. She pumps her arm by her side with her hand in a fist (like Tiger Woods making a long, long put) and enthusiastcally says, "YES!"

She takes the cup and off she goes. When she returns, I smile and said, "I have to admit, I've never seen anyone that excited about getting a refill before."

She smiled and said that they were having a contest and the manager would buy lunch for the one that had the most refills. The manager heard our discussion and came over smiling . I asked if they did this often and was it something she did or was it a corporate idea.

The manager, who was probably only 19 or 20 years old, said that she often did these types of games to keep things fun. She had worked at another location where that manager did these things and they always had fun. We chatted more and she talked about how she loved working for this company and how she loved coming to work each day. She talked about work more excitedly than her college life. (Do you and your colleagues love going to work each day?)

When I asked, she admitted she did have employees she had to "let go" because they did not have good attitudes and work ethics. They were not as productive and they were not really good to have around customers. It was clear that despite being young, she understood her role as a leader was not just "bossing" but team building and responsibility for the customer experience.

So, did I feel like the service was not sincere because it was part of a game? No way. The service was sincere, polite, smiling and very responsive.

Isn't that what we all want... and strive to provide our clients?

The game was just a way to keep service in the minds of the staff, a way to keep routine efforts fun and the work environment rewarding and upbeat. Sounds like a great plan to me!

What I really appreciated was seeing a work environment where leadership realized that fun and service can boost each other. And I think customers appreciate and return to an environment where they get great service from people that seem toenjoy their job (particularly when so many places the service staff sound and act like forced labor).

Are you having fun at work, even with the little routine tasks? Are you doing it while providing great service?

If not, you may think you are a skilled, service-dependent professional but you may not be qualified to work at a local chain restaurant near me.

Why and How to Get to "No!"

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:47:09 -0500

Time is very valuable. The government cannot issue you "bailout" time when we run short. One way to have more time is to get to "No!" faster.

Huh? You don't want to hear "No!"

I admit, most of us grew up with the word "no" as a negative. "No, don't touch that," "No entry," "No I don't want to go out with you," "No, you didn't make the team."

However, if you can overcome what I call the "No Stereotype" I believe you can be more efficient and generally happier too!

Okay, consider a few instances of "why" and when we want to hear "No."

* It is clear the deal is not going to happen, no matter what efforts you make. The faster the "No", the sooner you can move on to more productive things. (And if the deal is not good for most or all parties, the longer it stretches out the greater the risk of reputation damage to each party!)

* Your pre-sale phone calls and emails go unreturned over several weeks. Has this become a wild goose chase with an uncooperative goose? Was the goose even really interested to begin with or did we just selectively hope so?

* "No" is not necessarily permanent, just a closure point on the current efforts. If done right, a respectful and clear "no" will leave the door open for possible future business. Being a pest may permanently kill all future opportunity.

* "No" shows you understand boundaries. A respectful, courteous "no" may earn you respect that bad or very open endings will not.

* Since "No" is only personal if we accept it as personal, choosing to accept "No" simply as a milestone in your work (or life) does not have to be unpleasant. Disappointing sometimes, a relief other times but closure most of the time! Now that's not a bad thing, is it?

Now, a few ways on "How" to get to a "No!" (appropriately of course):

* Give permission. "This is the best deal I can offer. I hope you will consider it. You are also welcome to tell me 'No.'" This takes the pressure off and can even make the other party more candid and open. Maybe they say "No." Okay, move on. Maybe instead of "no" they ask a new question or raise a new concern. Great! A chance to take a positive step.

By granting permission, you are not pushing too hard (and no one likes to be pushed).

* Give permission... Part 2. "I see your view point on this and I hope you see mine. However, it seems clear that we are both in a position where pursuing this further will not lead to the mutual success we both need. You are welcome to tell me I'm wrong." They will likely agree and you all move on OR offer a reason to continue moving forward. Either option is great!

* Give your own "No." If your once hot lead won't answer calls or emails, send them a letter (emails are too easy to ignore or delete) that says you've tried several times to follow-up and you don't want to be a pest. You welcome an opportunity to discuss the project but since you have not received a response you will consider the current opportunity over. If they do find interest again, you hope they will contact you. In other words, be a professional, not a stray puppy.

* Give your own "No"... Part 2. You are sure you have no interest in a proposal, project or offer. Be an adult. Politely tell the other party a clear "No." They may argue, want to debate, or try to string you along and "wear you down." In response, you may want to say nice things that really are not true just to avoid saying the word no (or to avoid the debate). Things like, "Well, send me a proposal and we'll look it over, " or, "I have not had time to read your letter. I'll call you back if we are interested." Now sometimes these are true... but don't say them to avoid a "No."

Now, I hear many professionals say all the cliches about "No" that honestly I'm not that sold on. These include:

A "no" is the next step to a "yes.
Each "No" gets me one step closer to "yes!"
"No" just means we have to try harder.

There are plent of others too. There is some truth in them. But I think most of these are just designed to motivate those that are uncomfortable with the concept of "no" and use these as a cushion. I submit that accepting the appropriate value of "no" is healthier and more efficient.

And I want to be clear, I am in no way suggesting you push "No" as an answer when it is not appropriate. Learning to communicate better with others will help you get a feel of when to seek out a "no" and when to avoid it. And you will mess up a few times, but hey, you'll do that anyway on other approaches that may waste far more time.

Do you have a story of a happy "no" for all concerned? Love to hear it!

$30 Billion Mortgage Fraud Scheme Uncovered.... FBI news conference at 11am

Glenn Phillips (RealSource) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 08:35:30 -0500

The FBI has uncovered a massive loan fraud scheme reaching 40 states and possibly 800,000 homeowners that may cause readers of this story to not consider that today is April 1. This situation can happen each year at this time, despite the fact this is indeed an annual event on everyone's calendar.

This, of course, is all meant in the spirit of fun. But this is also a very IMPORTANT BUSINESS lesson for how we approach our business, our clients and the public when processing and discussing the daily news... please realize that the story behind each headline may not be what the headline suggests.

Naturally, this post is an exaggeration of this concept but that does not mean this concept does not happen commonly in the media.

Headlines are about grabbing attention, not sharing the details or even the facts. So always be careful about treating headlines as "the" news. And have a great day!