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behavior: They Lie Because We Taught Them to Lie - 05/24/12 06:56 AM
 
Anyone that spends much time in real estate, or any sales-oriented work, knows that when the truth is told and is not the desired answer, most people punish. So to avoid being punished for telling the truth, people lie instead.
I had a phone call from a salesman recently. It was like many calls we all get periodically. I listened briefly. I understood the salesman and was not interested at all. This is where many people lie and say something nice like, “Well, send me some information and we’ll think about it.” Such a tactic can be particularly common in … (12 comments)

behavior: You Better Shoot to Kill - 05/09/12 11:50 AM
 
“Shoot to Kill or Don’t Shoot at All”
This phrase was on a t-shirt I saw the other day. While it was not clear, I don’t think this really meant anything about guns (based on the group of young people around at the time). I believe it was a mantra about focus, something too commonly missed in real estate sales and real estate service work.
In other words, if you are going to make the effort to share your message and ideas, make sure you are successful. Please note, however, this is not the same thing as shoving your words down … (2 comments)

behavior: You Just Don't Understand - 04/22/12 02:52 PM
 
Anyone with teenagers has heard, “You just don’t understand!” Usually this is delivered with a whining, complaining, or depressing voice.
I hear this from adults too, including buyers, sellers, lenders, brokers and agents.
Like teenagers, in most cases this is uttered when someone is not getting their way. Since they believe they are right, they want to make it clear it “must” be the other person’s fault for not only failing to understand but also for failing to agree.
Sometimes the other person really does not understand. However, it is usually the person who says, “You don’t understand!” who is … (20 comments)

behavior: You're Boring Me With Your Passion - 04/10/12 03:27 PM
 
I'm glad you have a passionate interest. I'm glad you love your house, your brokerage, your service, your listings, your social media campaign, and your website. If we share any of those interests, we'll never run out of things to talk about. However, what if we don't share any of these interests?
We've all dealt with over-eager agents, full of excitement about things that interest them. Or home sellers that LOVE their house more than anyone should love a house.
Of course, this problem is not limited to real estate (just a bit more obvious sometimes).
I was at a business luncheon … (54 comments)

behavior: 5 Dangers of Secret Agendas - 02/12/12 09:49 AM
 
Who in real estate has not suffered at the hands of someone else's secret agenda? That realization that not just that someone lied, but the deception had a specific, hidden goal.
Now, we all have a personal agenda, even in our work. That's normal. Interestingly, for most of us a majority of that agenda is hidden. It is hidden in fear and kept secret, believing that if we share it then others will use it against us. “If I tell them my plan, they might stop me.”
What many fail to realize is that the secret agendas are not … (3 comments)

behavior: Did You Think I Was Listening? - 12/21/11 03:10 PM
 
I recently saw a young man wearing a t-shirt that said, “It’s funny how you think I’m listening.”
There are times I believe we all deserve such a t-shirt. Not because it is funny but because of how often we poorly communicate. We are all guilty of not listening at times. We're thinking of what to say to clients instead of hearing their concerns. We daydream or think about our problems or the upcoming weekend. We pretend to listen while checking Facebook and texting.
I believe one of the reasons that video telephones have yet to become mainstream is that … (32 comments)

behavior: How can you think that way? ! ? - 06/27/11 11:06 AM
Every time I hear someone say, "How can you think that way?" I think, "They just told on themselves."
I find this question is not uncommon when in discussions of purchase offers, appraisals, listing prices, commissions, and a host of other topics involving real estate, business in general and life.
The rub is that people typically do not ask this particular question to learn a new perspective. Instead, this is asked to question the validity of someone else's perspective. However, I think there is something more than first meets the eye (or, in this case, the ear).
When someone says, "How can you think that … (0 comments)

behavior: You don't remember me, do you? - 06/26/11 09:29 AM
At a recent chamber of commerce networking event, a woman approached me. She looked familiar and I recalled that we had briefly chatted at a previous networking event. I tried but could not recall her name or her business. She had on a name tag but unlike most of the other business people at the event, hers was covered by her lapel and her hair.
I smiled as we shook hands and said hello. She looked at me a second and said, "You don't remember me, do you?" I smiled and paused, hoping to recall her name or company but to … (9 comments)