Ar_home_b_search
 



effective communication: You Better Shoot to Kill - 05/09/12 11:50 AM
 
“Shoot to Kill or Don’t Shoot at All”
This phrase was on a t-shirt I saw the other day. While it was not clear, I don’t think this really meant anything about guns (based on the group of young people around at the time). I believe it was a mantra about focus, something too commonly missed in real estate sales and real estate service work.
In other words, if you are going to make the effort to share your message and ideas, make sure you are successful. Please note, however, this is not the same thing as shoving your words down … (2 comments)

effective communication: Lots of Data (and I Don't Care) - 05/05/12 05:39 AM
I'm guilty. Because I like facts and data in my decision-making process, I can tend to give others to much data (as in more data than they want, at least for the short-term).
Of course, I'm not alone in this and the problem is not just in real estate. I had a recent call from a salesman. It was a cold call and the gentleman was polite enough. Quickly he started to explain all the reasons the services they sold were great. Industry statistics, testing results, number of current clients and the like. Lots of numbers.
The problem was, I honestly didn’t … (5 comments)

effective communication: Most People Don't Bother Listening - 04/27/12 02:20 PM
 Before I pick on others in our real estate industry, let me say this real listening is a problem everywhere. There have been several studies that show that on average, doctors let patients talk for about 23 seconds before interrupting. Some doctors interrupted after only three seconds. Once interrupted, patients are often times reluctant to go back to their story. In many instances, the doctor suggested something that then altered the patient’s explanation, frequently through the power of suggestion.
When I have a problem with something technical, I generally have done extensive troubleshooting before calling (or emailing) technical support. Usually my call … (3 comments)

effective communication: You Just Don't Understand - 04/22/12 02:52 PM
 
Anyone with teenagers has heard, “You just don’t understand!” Usually this is delivered with a whining, complaining, or depressing voice.
I hear this from adults too, including buyers, sellers, lenders, brokers and agents.
Like teenagers, in most cases this is uttered when someone is not getting their way. Since they believe they are right, they want to make it clear it “must” be the other person’s fault for not only failing to understand but also for failing to agree.
Sometimes the other person really does not understand. However, it is usually the person who says, “You don’t understand!” who is … (20 comments)

effective communication: They Wanted to Preach to the Choir - 04/16/12 08:17 AM
 
Something happened outside of real estate recently that struck me as applicable to not only our efforts to help sell real estate but also real estate industry discussions, such as those at association meetings and ActiveRain.
I serve on a leadership council for a state-wide business organization. In a recent meeting, one of the members suggested that to spread the word on an issue of concern, one of us should spend time with a specific talk show host that is known to have views common with this organization.
Hmmmm.
I may have been overly direct but I commented that while it … (13 comments)

effective communication: There Is No Truth - 03/29/12 06:38 AM
 
There is no truth, at least no universal truth.
Truth is not a fact. Truth is not an absolute. It is not even clearly defined with a single meaning.
Dictionary.com has eleven definitions of the word “truth.” These include “the true or actual state of a matter,” “an obvious or accepted fact” and “ideal or fundamental reality apart from and transcending perceived experience.”
These are similar but not identical meanings. So, apparently there is not even a single “true” definition of truth.
Despite this, I often hear people argue about the truth. Just think of your most recent couple of … (3 comments)

effective communication: Don’t Let “Loaded Questions” Sucker You Into a Fight - 03/18/12 06:55 AM
There is an old joke about the witness under oath in court that is asked by the opposing attorney, “True or False only, do you still beat your wife?”
In so many discussions I see this type of “loaded question,” particularly on topics that are driven by self-esteem issues or emotional thinking. Oh, they are not as obvious as the joke, but they are still present.
“When is your team going to stop cheating?”
"Does your lender still forge documents?
“Why do you always want to hurt me?”
“Why do those stupid referees always rob us of our wins?”
“Why do … (2 comments)

effective communication: Your Waiter Can Teach You About the Importance of Attitude - 03/08/12 04:43 AM
 
Ever have a waiter in a restaurant that was efficient, polite, said the right things, got the order right, kept beverages refilled but yet for some reason you thought, “They don’t want to be here”?
The waiter did nothing wrong. Yet, something didn’t feel, well, warm, or connected. It was just not an engaging experience.
How did that make you feel as a customer?
Now for the real questions: Have your clients ever felt that way about you? Do you take the time to pay attention and even notice?
Even if every one of your clients loves you, I bet … (5 comments)

effective communication: I Have Attention Fatigue Syndrome - 03/01/12 01:02 PM
 
Hello, my name is Glenn and I have AFS, Attention Fatigue Syndrome.
Each day I am bombarded with advertisements, emails, phone calls, mail, and face-to-face meetings. Then throw in headline news, tweets, posts, voice-mails, newsletters, webinars, seminars, classes, and radio. Even my dogs sometimes ask for my attention (which is actually rather sweet and probably healthier for me than tweets and email).
The barrage of information and distractions is never ending, many times with demands of immediate responses to even mundane requests. “I sent you a text 10 minutes ago about moving our lunch meeting, why haven’t you answered already?”
… (1 comments)

effective communication: 10 Surprising Tech Dangers to Your Business or Career - 02/22/12 08:57 AM
 
I’ve never heard a broker, agent or even a CEO brag about not understanding their business financials. Yet I have heard many share they don’t really understand their important technology. A few even admit, usually in private, they don’t totally trust their technology staff and vendors.
Wow. In this day, agents, brokers, and companies are at greater risk from a major technology failure than embezzlement.
Yet often the focus, perhaps out of habit alone, is mainly on financial processes while remaining unsure or uninterested in much of the business’s technology and team.
Real estate agents and loan officers can be just as guilty of … (3 comments)

effective communication: What Used To Work: A Lesson to Overcome - 02/14/12 04:11 PM
 
I think it is safe to say that the real estate industry is at crossroads. Big changes have taken place. More changes are coming, even if there is uncertainty of exactly what those new changes will be.
All this turbulence has exposed a big problem for many real estate professionals: What used to work is often now an obstacle to success.
OLD HABITS
The old way is an easy habit. It may be socially accepted and even expected. It is comfortable and comfort makes us feel safe (even when we aren't). Old habits don't require as much thought. Others may not … (0 comments)

effective communication: 5 Dangers of Secret Agendas - 02/12/12 09:49 AM
 
Who in real estate has not suffered at the hands of someone else's secret agenda? That realization that not just that someone lied, but the deception had a specific, hidden goal.
Now, we all have a personal agenda, even in our work. That's normal. Interestingly, for most of us a majority of that agenda is hidden. It is hidden in fear and kept secret, believing that if we share it then others will use it against us. “If I tell them my plan, they might stop me.”
What many fail to realize is that the secret agendas are not … (3 comments)

effective communication: Beware of "The Deadly Experts" - 02/02/12 05:22 PM
 
We all know the deadly experts. These are the people that use their expertise to kill sales, listing opportunities, and even relationships.
In many organizations, you find these experts in every corner, including technology, marketing, sales, training, and legal. In real estate, you find them among the sellers, buyers, brokers, attorneys, and just about every type of service provider.
The deadly experts use BIG WORDS to intimidate, bully, disgrace, protest, and even brag. Even someone that has comparable expertise may be casually dismissed by these deadly experts. (For if they admit that someone else may be right it damages their power and self-esteem.)
They … (6 comments)

effective communication: Killing the Southern Accent? - 01/20/12 06:04 AM
Okay, so this is not really real estate related, except perhaps that it speaks to the human nature side of how we all see each other and respond to each other (which is often the biggest point of failure in real estate deals).
I've been thinking about how we perceive our world and how it is heavily influenced by how those around us perceive it. Or how they project it.
For instance, a Southern accent is often used in media, particularly television and movies, to project the image of someone uneducated and not very bright. Think of Gomer Pyle, Forrest Gump, or … (5 comments)

effective communication: Ignoring the Right Answer - 01/13/12 01:57 PM
In hearing many stories, including those on ActiveRain, I am struck by how many people are upset or angry at other people for their own failures. While in many cases this appears to just be a blatant blame game, I think it may be something a little deeper.
I see way too many people, including many real estate professionals, who often hide or ignore the right answer because it seems hard or difficult. They dismiss the correct answer, hoping to find a shortcut. Or hope the problem will go away or maybe someone else will solve the problem for them. Denial and avoidance are common … (0 comments)

effective communication: Do you give "The Big Ig?" - 01/01/12 03:26 PM
 
Whether you are seeking a listing appointment, trying to schedule a showing, or even trying to get a job interview or a date, our life is filled with requests that are not just denied, they are ignored.
As I hear my friend Dara Hosey call it, “The Big Ig.” And it gets even bigger if multiple requests are ignored.
I have a number of friends who refer to this silence of unanswered requests as “crickets,” referring, of course, to the suggestion that when they listen for a response it is so quiet all they can hear are the crickets in … (0 comments)

effective communication: Distinguished Panels Stink! And Maybe You Too! - 12/23/11 11:51 AM
 
Ever go to a real estate convention or association luncheon where they have a session or luncheon with a "panel of experts?"
Along with the "distinguished" panelists will be a moderator that asks timely questions. The panelists are clearly important and knowledgeable people. You may have been one of these panelist. The questions are usually about a specific topic, often related to a specific industry, market or region of the country.
What a waste. The problem is not really the main topic or theme. These are usually timely and important. I’ve seen recent panels about the local economy, new laws, the … (3 comments)

effective communication: Did You Think I Was Listening? - 12/21/11 03:10 PM
 
I recently saw a young man wearing a t-shirt that said, “It’s funny how you think I’m listening.”
There are times I believe we all deserve such a t-shirt. Not because it is funny but because of how often we poorly communicate. We are all guilty of not listening at times. We're thinking of what to say to clients instead of hearing their concerns. We daydream or think about our problems or the upcoming weekend. We pretend to listen while checking Facebook and texting.
I believe one of the reasons that video telephones have yet to become mainstream is that … (32 comments)

effective communication: The Danger of Ad Hoc - 12/15/11 10:06 AM
We've all seen the real estate agent, broker or lender that ran their deals by the "seat of their pants." They often think they are a hero. But don't you usually think they are a mess and a time-waster? Really, admit it.
The ability to think is important. At times, the ability to think under pressure and adapt to change is even more important. However, just because someone important to a deal makes ad hoc decisions, does not always mean they get them right. And it does not mean their authority makes them beyond question.
For instance, I was at a recent large … (0 comments)

effective communication: 8 Ways to Make Yourself Helpless (and run off business) - 11/23/11 02:44 PM
Whether dealing with agents, leanders, buyers or sellers, I find it sad how many people I encounter that have surrendered all control over their future and are angrily waiting for someone to change the world to their liking. Some try to speed up the process by bullying. Others simply wallow in their despair, whining to anyone that will listen.
I see this acceptance of a powerless fate in business, careers, relationships and life. While there are people who have had genuine hardship, many that have decided to be helpless have created most of their hardships. And continue to create their own … (5 comments)