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listening: Most People Don't Bother Listening - 04/27/12 02:20 PM
 Before I pick on others in our real estate industry, let me say this real listening is a problem everywhere. There have been several studies that show that on average, doctors let patients talk for about 23 seconds before interrupting. Some doctors interrupted after only three seconds. Once interrupted, patients are often times reluctant to go back to their story. In many instances, the doctor suggested something that then altered the patient’s explanation, frequently through the power of suggestion.
When I have a problem with something technical, I generally have done extensive troubleshooting before calling (or emailing) technical support. Usually my call … (3 comments)

listening: You're Boring Me With Your Passion - 04/10/12 03:27 PM
 
I'm glad you have a passionate interest. I'm glad you love your house, your brokerage, your service, your listings, your social media campaign, and your website. If we share any of those interests, we'll never run out of things to talk about. However, what if we don't share any of these interests?
We've all dealt with over-eager agents, full of excitement about things that interest them. Or home sellers that LOVE their house more than anyone should love a house.
Of course, this problem is not limited to real estate (just a bit more obvious sometimes).
I was at a business luncheon … (54 comments)

listening: Did You Think I Was Listening? - 12/21/11 03:10 PM
 
I recently saw a young man wearing a t-shirt that said, “It’s funny how you think I’m listening.”
There are times I believe we all deserve such a t-shirt. Not because it is funny but because of how often we poorly communicate. We are all guilty of not listening at times. We're thinking of what to say to clients instead of hearing their concerns. We daydream or think about our problems or the upcoming weekend. We pretend to listen while checking Facebook and texting.
I believe one of the reasons that video telephones have yet to become mainstream is that … (32 comments)

listening: 10 Ways to Screw-Up Your Message - 11/06/11 08:46 AM
I find many people love to be ignored. This includes many Realtors, lenders, and home sellers. Oh, they don’t admit they loved to be ignored. They may not even consciously realize it.
Why do I think this? Because I constantly see people, including many people in important positions, take the same steps over and over to kill their message and push away their audience, their potential clients and home buyers.
If you too would love to be regularly ignored and your messages lost, here are Ten Ways to Screw-Up Your Message:
 1. Use big words. Big, technical, or obscure words can … (12 comments)

listening: Making Time to Listen - 03/03/10 04:45 PM
In my freshman year of college, Mr. Robinson was my chemistry instructor.  An older gentleman that could have been easily cast in a movie as a caring, wise grandfather.  Mr. Robinson also did something very unique in his classes.
He refused to let students take notes while he spoke. 
He said, "If you are writing then you are not listening."   After he explained something, he would set aside time for us to take notes and copy his work from the chalk board.
I thought of him often in subsequent classes where I was doing all I could to write notes fast enough to keep up with the … (3 comments)

listening: Do You Ignore the Question? - 05/12/09 09:15 AM
A discussion this morning left me pondering this for myself... and you.
How often do we give the right answer that has little to do with the question?
Here is what I observe watching discussions, including my own.  People often hear a different question than was asked.  Or derive a different meaning from the question that is sometimes false.
For instance...
You: "How long will it take me to get to downtown from here?"
Me: "Oh, not long. And the area has great bus service that has helped traffic. I especially like the open air trolley on pretty days."
Okay, there was some useful … (7 comments)

listening: "Mutually Qualify" Your Potential Clients... or Waste Time to Discover Issues Later? (And I'm not talking about lender pre-qualification!) - 07/21/08 11:32 PM
When I am meeting with a potential customer, vendor, or partner, one of our primary goals is to mutually qualify the arrangement.  It saves us all time and leads to a very high success rate!
What do I mean by "mutually qualify?" 
Well, so many folks are working so hard to sell themselves or their company, they forget the end goal...  Successful deals and/or successful ongoing business.
We have found that even when the market is tough, we absolutely have to do business with people that are going to do the things necessary for success.  Anything else, ends poorly with everyone … (7 comments)

listening: What Do You Do First? Listen or Answer? - 07/16/08 08:02 PM

"Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah"
Okay, this is not quite the level of a pet peeve for me but it can be something that leads to a struggling conversation at best and a lost deal and/or lost referrals at worst.
I am amazed at how many people start talking with an answer before they know the question.  
Of course, I've pondered how they can do this and concluded that, while aggravating, it is not a crime to be:
eager, or knowledgeable, or think they are knowledgeable, or think they must be show how knowledgeable they are, or psychic or highly … (11 comments)