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bloopers: "Wife Installed" - Odd Features and Strange Creatures - The MLS - 04/20/12 11:38 AM
In spite of a recovering market, there was some subconscious hostility displayed in real estate this week, friends. Check out these Freudian bloopers I came across in local real estate ads and the MLS. Prozac anyone?
Flying High "Planes available" (Advertised Jet Blue after the general populace finally realized it's a suicidal airline.)
"Lots of mirres" (Did you notice the reflection of that stupid guy looking back at you?)
"Nice floor pans" (Uh, to improve the wok-way?)
"Killer view" (Said Inmate # 7 when asked why he wanted a room upgrade.)
"Peckaboo view" (Said Randy Rooster while peering at a hot hen … (40 comments)
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bloopers: "One car grudge" - Hilarious MLS Backfires - 04/05/12 10:03 PM
The Blooper Scooper is back, folks, and this week’s picks demonstrate the beauty of the written turd. Uh, word. Thanks to Bruce Walter of West Lafayette for his hysterical contribution. Check out these absurdities if you want a few laughs:
Expect the Unexpected “Please compact me” (Last words of Jimmy Hoffa)
“Good desin” (So the exorcism was a success?)
“Fax or bail docs” (If I bail out a doc, can I get a free colonoscopy?)
“House with colorful accent” (Must be an Italian villa…)
“Watch the sun set over the buffs” (Gold’s Gym must be up for sale.)
When Ordinary … (30 comments)
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bloopers: "In escargot" - Hasty 'n' Tasty MLS Bloopers - 03/30/12 04:26 PM
This was a week for great bloopers and auto-fill madness, folks. Thanks to Bruce Walter of West Lafayette, Indiana for his hilarious farmer contribution. Check out these MLS and real estate advertising funnies:
Dishing It Out "Will sell soot" (Proudly offered by Bert, The Chimney Sweep and his partner, Mary Poppins.)
"Farmers makeit every Tuesday" (Hence the term, "bump-her crop.".)
"Make this your nest cattle" (Word to the wise: If there's a cattle nest in your tree, don't sit under it without a really big hat.)
"Sophistication and crass" ( Sandra Bullock when she was with Jesse James?)
"Nice scaly rooms" (The … (30 comments)
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bloopers: "Real germ" - The MLS Misspelling Plague - 03/23/12 09:45 AM
You can say toe-may-to, and I can say toe-mah-toe, but we both need to spell it properly unless we want to come off like morons, right? Well, you decide. The MLS apparently has come out with a new dictionary I didn’t know about: The MLS Garble Edition.
Read it and weep:
Now Trending… "Real germ” (Uh, pet name for your ex?)
“Retaining wall shited” (You would, too, if you were hanging onto a California hillside during a 6.7 shaker.)
“Recently samblasted” (A description of my home after my Uncle Sam eats cabbage.)
“Won bedroom” (What one is left with after a Hollywood divorce.)
“Hat property” (You … (34 comments)
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bloopers: "Realy goose house" - Cooking Your Goose on the MLS - 03/01/12 11:58 PM
Are you cooking your own goose with your listing remarks? This week was a smorgasbord of blooper delights. Yes, real estate can be a pressure cooker, friends, but it seems these agents have offered themselves up as the first course:
Plug In The George Foreman "Realy goose house" (Let me guess - you'll bend over backwards for me?)
“Radiation heet” (Oh great - buy, fry, and die.)
“Flame retarded fabrics” (It seems the flames had the same effect on you.)
“Gas – landlords” (Then I'd advise you not to light a match near his arse.)
“Seller wants fist” (I’m not touching this one…)
“Divorce special” … (62 comments)
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bloopers: "You will like a log" - MLS Gaffes and Laughs - 02/24/12 08:25 AM
The world of real estate has gone mad. The MLS had so many bloopers this past week that I’m convinced the winter slump has set in and brains are hibernating. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles and Fred Glick of Philadelphia for their great finds. Enjoy the fun, my friends:
You Snooze, You Lose “Very delirious home” (…And it seems you've been drinking the Cool-Aid.)
“Trembled marble” (You’d tremble, too, if you were laid out on a slab.)
“Submerge docs with FICOs” (Newsflash: Most FICO’s already went down the crapper.)
“Features tennis pools” (How desirable can wet balls really be?)
“Your … (32 comments)
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bloopers: "Bald touches" - Are Your Listing Remarks Missing by a Hair? - 01/27/12 02:39 AM
Yes, it's Friday, and the Blooper Scooper is back. When you see some of the gaffes I found this week, you may want to shave your own head in protest. Check out these hysterical faux pas, friends:
Please tell me it’s a joke… “Park at Kim’s Wart” ( Uh, not so fast - is there a hair growing out of it?)
“Blow-up sale” (Did this occur before or after you blew up your career?)”
“Electriiciity now on” (My gut says you tested the outlets with a fork.)
“Key hidden under matt” (I can only imagine where Matt’s keyhole is…)
“Dont hasittate” (Don’t drink Nyquil.)
Please tell … (43 comments)
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bloopers: "Show and swell" - Bloated MLS Bloopers - 12/08/11 10:12 PM
Friends, the MLS was rife with strange spelling and phrasing this week. Our local newspaper ads also gave the MLS some great competition. Are we all just tired after a year in the trenches? Or are there a lot of block heads walking around out there? You decide:
November Potpourri "Ask about growth" (Okay. What's that large knob on your forehead?)
"Set among oats" (Enticing... if you're a horse named Mr. Ed.)
"Doubt resistant landscaping" (Unlike your career...)
"Comes with hoe warrant" (Thank you, you tool.)
"This will pleasure buyer" (Uh, that's illegal in most states, pal.)
Doctor NO "Attack docs" … (45 comments)
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bloopers: "Seasonal creep" - More MLS Oddities! - 10/15/11 03:07 PM
Hi Friends, I'm traveling this week, so I decided to re-post some of my favorite bloopers: How About These Marketing Strategies! Kids Play Rum (And agent apparently drinks it.) Main house and carnage house. ( Proudly offered by Tony Soprano.) Home made hiney rolls served (Do I get wipes with that?) Club foot tub (How do you get those special orthopedic shoes on the feet?) Sheik contemporary (He drives a hybrid camel.) New pole in back yard for outdoor fun (Must be the Bunny Ranch.) Bring your fuzziest clients (You must be referring to my hairy ex mother-in-law.) Beautiful sanitarium for sunny … (38 comments)
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bloopers: "Grate Views" - Grating Bloopers from the Blooper Scooper - 09/23/11 02:18 PM
From cheese to sleaze, the MLS and the local real estate ads across the country were full of bloopers this week. Thanks to Jane Peters, Dick Beals and Patrick Martin for their hysterical contributions. Read ‘em and weep:
It’s a Matter of Fact “Grate views” (I assume that cutting the cheese is your specialty...)
“Lots of tees in back” (Lots of golf balls in pool.)
“Good build” (Is this a house or Matthew McConaughey?)
“Roof peeked at top” (IQ peaked at 80.)
“Ugli fixer but rooms in tack” (Perhaps that will make up for your lack of same…)
It’s a Matter of Perspective … (29 comments)
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bloopers: "Send via male" - The Friday Blooper Scooper is back! - 09/09/11 03:05 PM
Once again it’s TGIF, and the results of this week’s MLS Blooper Scooper are in, friends. I can’t tell you how tempting it is to start naming names…but then I would run the risk of showing up on my own list! Yes, we all make mistakes, and auto-fill is killing us…but c’mon – couldn’t some of these have been avoided?
Hard to Swallow? “Septic tang” (An orange-flavored drink preferred by suicidal Astronauts.)
“Call listing magnet” (You do appear to be bi-polarized…)
“This is a probing sale” (Obviously the former home of a deceased proctologist.)
“Nice rehab for you” (Back off, … (49 comments)
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bloopers: "Ask for current" ...And Other Shocking MLS Bloopers - 08/12/11 03:01 PM
Are you guilty of littering the MLS with cast-off listing remarks, egregious misspellings, and idiotic utterances? These MLS bloopers prove that some agents are. Thus, if the shoe fits, wear it…even if it’s the only shoe you have left. Thanks to Michael Jacobs from San Marino for his great contributions. Check these out:
Offers From Idiots “Ask for current” (Proudly offered by Death Row Realty)
“Please take odd shoes” (That’s nice…if you’re a one-legged buyer.)
“This is a real budget blister” (The real abscess is that thing between your ears.)
“Kooks good” (Obviously your seller thought so when he gave you the listing.)
“New … (37 comments)
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bloopers: "Pot has great views" - Highs and Lows of Real Estate - 08/05/11 01:46 PM
It seems many agents just don’t understand that spelling is part of selling. Last week’s MLS and the local real estate ads provided definite proof that some agents couldn't manage an alphabet if it were in their soup. There were also a number of slips that would indicate that some serious partying was going on this past week. Yep - highs and lows. Come on, folks - is it really that hard to use spell-check or to get someone to proof-read your work? (No, your dog doesn’t count.) Here’s what the Blooper Scooper picked up this week:
Why Apples Voluntarily Jump Off Trees “Branch … (47 comments)
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bloopers: "Send beds to listing agent" - Are YOU Asleep at the Keyboard? - 07/08/11 09:16 PM
We may have just taken a holiday, but there certainly was no holiday from real estate bloopers on the MLS, as well as on the web and in local ads. Georgina Hunter from beautiful Maui found a lovely blooper this week involving valves, AR's Bruce Walter sent some great gaffes from Indiana, and Fred Glick from Philadelphia is back with Fred's Follies: Stupid Real Estate Questions From the Web. Wende Schoof from San Francisco and Jane Peters from Los Angeles also found some doozies. Please enjoy:
Pardon me?
"Send beds to listing agent" (Why bother - you're already asleep on the job.)
"Tediously … (55 comments)
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bloopers: Idiots On Parade (Moronic MLS Mistakes) - 05/27/11 03:22 PM
Friends, we had the usual amount of bloopers this week, which comes as no surprise to any of you, I'm sure. To add to the mix, this week I am introducing Fred Glick's "IDIOTS ON PARADE." Fred (Philadelphia real estate and mortgage expert) and I have had a lot of laughs over the dumb questions sometimes posted on real estate websites.
Yeah, yeah, I know..."no question is too dumb." But come on people, aren't there some limits? You decide:
Call A Doctor
"We have pocked listings" (Have you tried Proactive?)
"Sink blogged" (Impressive - a sink that can type!)
‘Check out my … (15 comments)
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bloopers: "Nun left to Buy" - God Bless the MLS! - 05/13/11 03:23 PM
Did you hear that? Yep - that was the sound of my rosary beads hitting the floor...with me close behind. The bloopers were bad enough this week that I considered joining a convent to find peace for my tortured former-English-teacher soul. Unfortunately, none would take me. There was some reference to my penchant for bacchanalia, but I've got nothing on these people:
Holy Hannah!
"Nun left to buy" (Holy Mother of Pearl - another convent out of business!)
"Go left at the big sign of cross" (Uh...I think a big cross is a message to get right.)
"Has god bones" (Uh, … (27 comments)
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bloopers: "Your clients will tank you" - Sinking Listings on the MLS - 05/07/11 06:09 PM
One sure way to tank your listing is by not paying attention to detail. Yes, we all know that, but somehow the bloopers just keep coming. Some of this week's typos in the MLS and in local real ads were flabbergasting! Yes, sometimes even a wise mouth like me can be rendered speechless.
Thanks to Patrick Martin of Sotheby's International Realty and Jane Peters of Power Brokers International for their hilarious contributions this week.
You'd Think Someone Would Have Noticed
"Your clients will tank you" (I think you just tanked yourself...)
"House with invisible walls" (Agent with invisible commission check.)
"Built with car … (24 comments)
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bloopers: "New Poop" - Haste makes Waste on the MLS - 04/26/11 08:36 PM
Well friends, I'm back again with this week's bloopers, which seemed to fall into a food theme. I've concluded that there must be a lot of hungry real estate agents out there typing...and tippling, too. Some of these will have you licking your lips...or not.
Food Foibles
"Lunch and snakes" (Something tells me I'm the lunch...)
"Assordid desserts" (Let me guess - Little Debbie Snackin' Snakes?)
"Snacks, coffee and doughnutz" (Thank you, numnutz.)
"Lunch swerved" (Another driver texting while driving!)
"Cocktail hour open at 6:)) pn" (Methinks cocktail hour starts at your house at breakfast.)
"Join us for swshi" (Hmmm...male fish in high … (20 comments)
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bloopers: The MLS - Laughing All the Way! - 02/18/11 03:44 PM
I just returned from an extended trip to discover that some things never change. There were so many funny misspellings and blunders in the MLS this week that I am trying to think of a way to get the bloopers into pill form. I think the MLS should be used for medicinal purposes - it's a great alternative to laughing gas! Check out some of my favorites:
Don't Tempt Me
"For short sale status, please maul us' (If you're the lender, it would be my pleasure.)
"Please teat locks before leaving" (That's udderly ridiculous.)
"Reck room in basement'" (And so is your career...)
"Shed behind" (I … (26 comments)
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bloopers: MLS Bloopers - Play Dat Funky Music - 02/13/11 12:05 AM
It's party time at the MLS. We've got the Stones, Little Richard and even a rabbit. (No, guys - not a Playboy Bunny.) We also owe the L.A. Times and Homes and Land a bit of thanks for adding to the party mix. Okay, throw your keys in a jar, and let's rock:
Pre-Show Antics Backstage
"Bring current for extra sizzle" (Okay, now lick your finger, and then put in in this socket, and now wait while I flip the switch...)
"Large bunaglow" (I don't even want to know why someone got a match that close to their big a__.)
… (18 comments)
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Gwen Banta
Los Angeles,
CA
More about me…
Sotheby's International Realty
Address: 9255 Sunset Blvd, Mezzanine, West Hollywood, CA, 90069
Office Phone: (310) 205-0305 x 140
Cell Phone: (323) 252-1700
Email Me
A very humorous Blog that highlights gaffes from the MLS and real estate ad bloopers.
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