humorous: "Send beds to listing agent" - Are YOU Asleep at the Keyboard?
- 07/08/11 02:16 PM
We may have just taken a holiday, but there certainly was no holiday from real estate bloopers on the MLS, as well as on the web and in local ads. Georgina Hunter from beautiful Maui found a lovely blooper this week involving valves, AR's Bruce Walter sent some great gaffes from Indiana, and Fred Glick from Philadelphia is back with Fred's Follies: Stupid Real Estate Questions From the Web. Wende Schoof from San Francisco and Jane Peters from Los Angeles also found some doozies. Please enjoy: Pardon me? "Send beds to listing agent" (Why bother - you're already asleep on the job.) "Tediously … (55 comments)
humorous: "Turn left and look for sins" - Going Astray With The MLS
- 03/15/11 04:41 PM
Who ever thought homes had so many amenities to choose from? Check out some of these MLS listing remarks and real estate ads. These offers are certainly inventive and enticing...well, in a "condemned property" kind of way. Thanks to Realtor Jan Pastras for her great contribution: Creative Creature Comforts "Heated jowel rack" (Alas, a warm place for Alec Baldwin to do chin-ups.) "Lottery and crab bag at open" (Ah...VD - the gift that keeps on giving) "Leave door shat or we'll call you back" (If the door shat, you should be calling the Enquirer) "Turn left and look for sins" (Unsolicited advice … (26 comments)
Thank you all for your comments and requests for more humorous bloopers. I will try to respond to each of you as soon as I catch up with my life after my long overdue vacation. Yes, please feel free to send me any bloopers you find locally. I love to collect them from other areas of the country, and it's an honor for me to mention contributors in my blog. If you hate to type (as I do), then please feel free to call me at 320-205-0305 or CONTACT ME. Remember - laughter in your life brings the light.
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humorous: Laughs, Gaffs & Tails in Baths (MLS Stinkers)
- 11/05/10 09:26 AM
This week's MLS and real estate ads had a distinct odor, friends. From gas to dry rot, it seems homes are becoming more offensive. There were tails in bathtubs and strange droppings on roofs. I challenge you to read these and not laugh out loud at some of the bizarre descriptions I found in this week's advertising. (Thanks to my out-of-state contributors): Something's Rotten in the State of Denmark "Gas not corrected" (Perhaps you should try Beano.) "New deposit roof" (I suspect it's crappy work.) "There's dry rot in eve" (News alert, Adam - you're missing a rib and you're no … (15 comments)
humorous: "AVAILABLE SON" - Pitches With Glitches
- 11/04/10 06:42 AM
Ah - what a week for bloopers! This week we're rolling in booze and money...and we have one son for sale. Join the party, folks - BYOL. (Bring Your Own Laughs): First Round Is On Me "Equipped with Boose Theatre System" (I'll drink to that!)" "Antique great still in FP" (Really? Grandpa's was in the tub.) "New hard landscraping" (Where's there's a will, there's a till.) "Too many upgrades to lisp." (Too much moonshine to s-s-s-speak.) ""Impairted Murano glass in hall" (Impaired agent with shot glass being hauled off.) Pass Me A Party Hat "Your snearch is over." (So is your career.) … (25 comments)
humorous: "Boobies Provided"? The MLS Comedy Tour
- 05/28/10 07:47 AM
I've been out of town awhile, but the MLS has not let me down in my absence. Like a confused turkey, the MLS ran amuck again with hilarious misspellings and baffling comments. Thanks to my partner, Patrick Martin, for keeping a watchful eye on the MLS, the LA Times and the L.A. Magazine ads. I also picked up a few in my travels, so I now know Los Angeles is not the only town with a spelling problem (remember Dan Quayle?). Here are my faves: Fools Rush In... "Big spackling fool with new spa" (Big spewing fool with new listing.) "Extra Doom … (105 comments)
humorous: R.E. SALES IN THE LAND OF OZ
- 02/12/10 03:59 AM
For quite some time I have been collecting misspelled names of people and well-known places in our area. Sometimes the misspellings are even better than the actual names. Others, however, are just plain funny. Who could possibly argue that "Blurbank" Airport wouldn't be a better name for that smog covered destination spot? And "Universaltile" Studios kind of says it all, doesn't it? Please enjoy: Selling in the Land of Oz "Designed by Frank Lord Wright" (Yes, some thought he was a god...) "New Thermaldoor Fridge" (This actually make sense...if you plan to wear the door to go skiing.) "Pt. Doom … (9 comments)
humorous: The Guinness Book of MLS Bloopers - Cheers!
- 12/17/09 03:23 AM
Fetch Me a Cold one It's been another week of marvelous MLS bloopers, friends. Sit back, prop up those tired feet, and have a few laughs. Some of these come straight from the Guinness Book of Bloopers. (That's Guinness, as in the Irish ale. I think a few of these agents must chug that stuff.) Order Me Another "Beautiful Curved Spinal Staircase" - (That's called scoliosis, bozo.) "Three Stunning Decks, Two Walking Closets" (And a partridge in a pear tree.) "Mother died - Sellers committed" (Pushing Daisies and Bag-o-Crazies) "Buyers are Certifiable" (Margot Kidder and Anne Heche must be home shopping) … (14 comments)
humorous: This Year's Best Real Estate Laughs
- 12/11/09 06:10 AM
Yes, this is the time of year when we should have nothing but love in our hearts. But you all know me well by now: Take one shot of satire, mix with the greatest office tales one could ever gather, shake gently, and then serve straight up (followed by a few real martini chasers). These are the best dumb real estate questions reported to me this year. Enjoy yourselves while I pour another martini - salud! They Must Only Let You Out on Weekends 1) "The sellers did not disclose that the neighbor is a drunk, and he passed out on our front lawn. Can … (13 comments)
humorous: MLS - The Holiday Hooters
- 12/04/09 11:20 AM
Isn't it amazing how the holidays are fraught with stress due to shopping costs, property tax bills and renewals for every fee under the sun? (Who times these things anyway?) Just in case the discomfort of all those hands in your pocket is getting you down, how about a few MLS bloopers to help you hoot in the holidays? Is That Legal? "Extensively remodeled horse on beautiful street" (Offered by Don Corleone Realty) "Many great schools - pub and privates" (Located in the Suds and Sex School District) "Spataclula Deal (A great buy on a Greek Pastry Shop) "Newdly plastered walls" … (7 comments)
humorous: REAL ESTATE TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION!
- 11/27/09 06:27 AM
People do strange things, and open houses seem to encourage a whole bag of crazy. Over the past few months, I have gathered a few choice stories from my beleaguered colleagues - incidents which are too funny not to share. Yes, truth is stranger than fiction, so after every tale, I have added my martini-inspired ideas for book titles. All reader suggestions welcome: The Smell of De-feet The gnarly guy who sat down in a chair at an open house, removed his sock, and cleaned the toe jam and lint from between his hairy toes. (Eee-yew and Pee-yew.) The lady with the designer … (6 comments)
humorous: TOO FUNNY FOR REAL ESTATE!
- 11/13/09 06:41 AM
We have seen a lot of examples of how our MLS is full of misspelled words and oddly chosen adjectives. Now it's time to move on to misplaced phrases - phrases that may leave you gasping or guffawing: A Home You Can't Refuse "All wall damage repaired, butt cracks on surface." (Bummer.) "Light filled home with strategically located mirrors." (Decorated by Hugh Hefner, no doubt.) "Bathroom has His and His sinks." (And matching urinals, I suppose...) "Sit and enjoy the kitchen fire while Mom cooks." (Mom attended the Gwen Banta School of Flash Cooking.) "Bathroom has new sunken tub and toilet." … (6 comments)
humorous: The MLS Comedy Circuit: Another Week of Bloopers
- 10/02/09 05:28 AM
Usually I have to wait several weeks to accumulate enough fodder from The MLS to fill a blooper blog, but this week was exceptional. It has been a long year, and agents out there are either exceptionally tired...or exceptionally loaded. Here is the best of the week: Real Estate with a Twist Proudly erect Old Gory (Try to keep it at half staff, boys.) Polished Pig-n-groove floors (And who says you can't dress up a pig?) Depressed property specialist (Motto: We blame low prices on your bad childhood.) Clotted cheese ceilings have been removed (Clotted brained agent still on duty.) Kitchen … (7 comments)
humorous: The MLS - Who Knew It Could Be So Funny?
- 09/09/09 08:46 AM
The MLS, and local ads in The L.A. Times, are full of creative spelling that taxes the imagination...and often sends me into fits of hysteria. Here are a few that will leave you scratching your head or laughing hysterectomy, uh "hysterically:" Behold the Brain Dead: Jane Eyre cook top (For literary chefs: Read ‘n' Feed) Pornable kitchen island (In case the bedroom gets boring) Includes Art Stud (Art, my number is 1-800-CALLNOW) Hand maid - built well (Call Gretchen for a good time.) Bakers wrack (Kitchen of King Henry XIII, no doubt.) Maids with bedroom excess (Apparently the pornable kitchen islands … (23 comments)
humorous: Lucy & Ethel's Real Estate Fiasco
- 04/17/09 07:09 AM
Oh, Ricky! There is some old saying about the best laid plans going asunder, and I am about to tell you where asunder is: it's a place in New Jersey. Picture a lovely suburb of tract homes in Jersey, circa 1969. One year my mother Marie decided we should sell the family home and get something bigger than a bread box. I didn't mention my father Boyd, because he tried to stay clear of the caper - in fact, he tried to steer clear of ALL her capers. He would just sit in an overstuffed chair in front of the tube, as if anchored for safety, … (16 comments)
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