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humorous real estate: "Just got shine" - Boozin', Snoozin' & Losin' on the MLS - 05/11/12 10:28 AM
Hmmm… this week I couldn’t figure out if folks were dropping in, dropping out, or just dropping acid. The Blooper Scooper is back, my friends. Check out this week’s spectacular MLS gaffes:
Please Tell Me You Don’t Plan to Reproduce “Just got shine” (Guffawed the bootlegger as he pulled cousin Bubba out of the still.)
“High c’lings and interisting ankles” (Nonetheless, Jim, I think you could find a more flattering pair of high heels.)
“Large carpart” (Screamed the tourist upon his first encounter with the Hollywood freeway.)
“Kitchen w/ pass trough” (I’ll alert the cows.)
“Proberty has extra space” (So does … (20 comments)
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humorous real estate: “Lots of fres hair” - Hair Raising MLS Bloopers - 05/04/12 12:54 AM
The Blooper Scooper is back, folks. Bad-spelling-while-selling seems to be an epidemic. Thanks to Jane Peters and Bruce Walter for sending me some great contributions this week. These are from all over the country, lest you think all the nuts are here in L.A. Check these out:
Splitting Hairs
“Lots of fres hair” (Let me guess... How to identify Diana Ross in a monsoon?)
“Nice bungalou” (Crooned Desi, as Lucy and her banana hat toppled into the orchestra pit.)
“Polish Peg Floors with visible knots” (Polish Peg could use a laxative.)
“Huge Malibu cornpound” (If I were the seller, I'd tell you … (55 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Wife Installed" - Odd Features and Strange Creatures - The MLS - 04/20/12 11:38 AM
In spite of a recovering market, there was some subconscious hostility displayed in real estate this week, friends. Check out these Freudian bloopers I came across in local real estate ads and the MLS. Prozac anyone?
Flying High "Planes available" (Advertised Jet Blue after the general populace finally realized it's a suicidal airline.)
"Lots of mirres" (Did you notice the reflection of that stupid guy looking back at you?)
"Nice floor pans" (Uh, to improve the wok-way?)
"Killer view" (Said Inmate # 7 when asked why he wanted a room upgrade.)
"Peckaboo view" (Said Randy Rooster while peering at a hot hen … (40 comments)
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humorous real estate: "One car grudge" - Hilarious MLS Backfires - 04/05/12 10:03 PM
The Blooper Scooper is back, folks, and this week’s picks demonstrate the beauty of the written turd. Uh, word. Thanks to Bruce Walter of West Lafayette for his hysterical contribution. Check out these absurdities if you want a few laughs:
Expect the Unexpected “Please compact me” (Last words of Jimmy Hoffa)
“Good desin” (So the exorcism was a success?)
“Fax or bail docs” (If I bail out a doc, can I get a free colonoscopy?)
“House with colorful accent” (Must be an Italian villa…)
“Watch the sun set over the buffs” (Gold’s Gym must be up for sale.)
When Ordinary … (30 comments)
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humorous real estate: "In escargot" - Hasty 'n' Tasty MLS Bloopers - 03/30/12 04:26 PM
This was a week for great bloopers and auto-fill madness, folks. Thanks to Bruce Walter of West Lafayette, Indiana for his hilarious farmer contribution. Check out these MLS and real estate advertising funnies:
Dishing It Out "Will sell soot" (Proudly offered by Bert, The Chimney Sweep and his partner, Mary Poppins.)
"Farmers makeit every Tuesday" (Hence the term, "bump-her crop.".)
"Make this your nest cattle" (Word to the wise: If there's a cattle nest in your tree, don't sit under it without a really big hat.)
"Sophistication and crass" ( Sandra Bullock when she was with Jesse James?)
"Nice scaly rooms" (The … (30 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Seller wants clothes" - The Naked Truth About MLS Bloopers - 03/16/12 12:45 PM
All I can say is, “Ouch!” Some of these flubs should be etched on the tombstones of the perpetrators. Imagine these bloopers on headstones: And Here I Lie… “Loin has been removed” (Bragged Tony “The Eviscerator” Tartaglia before catching a flight back to Jersey.)
“Alaroundeck furniture” (Alaroundumb advertising.)
“Widow boxes add charm” (How charming can one be when stuffed in a box?)
“Hurry, lost one!” (“David Livingstone, I presume?”)
And No Wonder I’m Dead… “Come S to avoid confession” (What's this - a welcome sign on the Road to Hell?)
“This is high over all others” (You must be referring to Don King’s hair.)
… (44 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Realy goose house" - Cooking Your Goose on the MLS - 03/01/12 11:58 PM
Are you cooking your own goose with your listing remarks? This week was a smorgasbord of blooper delights. Yes, real estate can be a pressure cooker, friends, but it seems these agents have offered themselves up as the first course:
Plug In The George Foreman "Realy goose house" (Let me guess - you'll bend over backwards for me?)
“Radiation heet” (Oh great - buy, fry, and die.)
“Flame retarded fabrics” (It seems the flames had the same effect on you.)
“Gas – landlords” (Then I'd advise you not to light a match near his arse.)
“Seller wants fist” (I’m not touching this one…)
“Divorce special” … (62 comments)
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humorous real estate: "You will like a log" - MLS Gaffes and Laughs - 02/24/12 08:25 AM
The world of real estate has gone mad. The MLS had so many bloopers this past week that I’m convinced the winter slump has set in and brains are hibernating. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles and Fred Glick of Philadelphia for their great finds. Enjoy the fun, my friends:
You Snooze, You Lose “Very delirious home” (…And it seems you've been drinking the Cool-Aid.)
“Trembled marble” (You’d tremble, too, if you were laid out on a slab.)
“Submerge docs with FICOs” (Newsflash: Most FICO’s already went down the crapper.)
“Features tennis pools” (How desirable can wet balls really be?)
“Your … (32 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Foe painting" - This Week's Colorful MLS Bloopers - 02/03/12 12:49 PM
As an experienced agent, I sometimes think I’ve seen everything, but when I read the remarks below, I realized I have so much to learn. For instance, how does one get enough pate for a road? Or enough figs to make drapes? And why would one shag on a roof? Read these bloopers, and then maybe you can explain it all to me:
A Leg Up On Things “Leg in for details” (Oh yay – we’re doing the Hokey-Pokey!)
“Custom figged drapes” (How do you get the little fig seeds into the fabric?)
“Road just pated” (Hence the expression, “What am I … (106 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Expel the best" - How to Blow a Career with MLS Bloopers - 01/14/12 01:08 PM
Something may have been rotten in the State of Denmark, but the MLS isn’t smelling much better. Check out these stinkers and clinkers from the MLS and other real estate ads if you’re in the mood for a few giggles:
Something Seems Amiss… “One moth incentive” (Do you wave wool sweaters before their little eyes?)
“Come see a good hose” (All I see is a dumb hoser.)
“This yer special” (Aww, yer special, too… in a really slow kind of way.)
“Ice cram served” (That’s even too kinky for me…and I live in L.A.!)
“$10k bonus to close end” (Have you tried the “ice … (39 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Ring hell" - Ringing in the Year with MLS Mayhem - 01/06/12 01:21 PM
Happy New Year, friends. This year is starting out with as much laughter as we ended with in 2011 when buyers flocked “like bees to hiney.” (Please see the 2011 Dufis Award in my last post.) The following bloopers will prove that nothing much has changed regarding MLS giggles and goofs. Check out these gaffes to start your year with some hearty laughs:
One Too Many "Ring hell" (You mean New Jersey?)
“Mable on floor” (Apparently Mable is running a tab…)
“Start the year with a bung” (No thanks, I already divorced one of those.)
“Come for Thai launch” (I didn’t know a … (44 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Snort Sale" - The "Highs" and Lows of the MLS - 2011 - 12/23/11 02:00 AM
Well friends, this is my last blooper post of the year, and I still have not run out of material. I don’t know whether to thank these hapless agents or to flog them. At the very least, Perhaps I should commend them for sending us off into 2012 with a lot of laughter. Enjoy these bloopers, and have a Happy New Year everyone!
For Those With Hang-Ups “Kitch with breakfast hook” (Heehaw - hook ‘em, book ‘em and cook ‘em!)
“Indescribable wildlift” (How are those diet pills workin’ out for ya, sweetie?)
“Bif gym fully equipped” (Who’s more fully equipped – Bif or … (77 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Charmin...home" - MLS Remarks That Can Wipe Out A Career - 12/16/11 01:36 AM
From blundering fools to complete tools, the bloopers on the MLS were hysterical this week, friends. I received some great contributions from John M. Scott of beautiful San Francisco, Jane Peters from right here in our beloved L.A., and Bruce Walter from the great Hoosier State of Indiana. Enjoy the the goofs, and have a wonderful holiday, everyone!
First the Fools… “Large fool” (Is that the slogan on your business card?)
“Three badrooms” (Two turtle doves and an agent in an i-di-ot tree.)
“Small lender” (That politically incorrect - I believe they are called elves…)
“Parka in living room” (Eskimo in the hot tub?)
“It has a spa … (52 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Show and swell" - Bloated MLS Bloopers - 12/08/11 10:12 PM
Friends, the MLS was rife with strange spelling and phrasing this week. Our local newspaper ads also gave the MLS some great competition. Are we all just tired after a year in the trenches? Or are there a lot of block heads walking around out there? You decide:
November Potpourri "Ask about growth" (Okay. What's that large knob on your forehead?)
"Set among oats" (Enticing... if you're a horse named Mr. Ed.)
"Doubt resistant landscaping" (Unlike your career...)
"Comes with hoe warrant" (Thank you, you tool.)
"This will pleasure buyer" (Uh, that's illegal in most states, pal.)
Doctor NO "Attack docs" … (45 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Ass for Margie" - MLS Comments Worthy of a Spanking - 11/29/11 12:40 AM
What a week for bloopers! I know agents are worn out this time of year, but we all need to hit the spell check button or we may go down in infamy. Witness these blooper classics, friends:
Falling Behind? “Nice butt needs work” (My ex said that just before his butt hit the curb.)
“Reel Estate Experts” (Oh yeah? Have you met my client, Moby Dick?)
“Bank needs alms length agreement” (I’ll expect alms from a bank the day Amelia Earhart crash lands on my patio.)
“Need roof export” (Call Auntie Em-n-Toto House “Sails.”)
“Hollywood Real Estale Listings” (Are they as stale as your dwindling career?)
Picking up … (23 comments)
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humorous real estate: “Dull Viking ovens” - Do your MLS remarks have the right spark? - 11/18/11 02:27 PM
The year is starting a march toward its natural ending, friends…and it seems a few real estate careers may be also. This week I found some real head-scratchers in local real estate ads and the MLS. However, I get submissions from all over the U.S., so no one is safe from the eyes of the Blooper Scooper. Check out these blunders:
Do You Smell Smoke? “House has spark” (Apparently your real estate career isn’t the only thing going up in smoke.)
“Big pep area in kitchen” (Is that the cookie jar where Mommy Dearest stashes her uppers?)
“Dull Viking ovens” (Methinks there’s something in the cookie jar that will … (56 comments)
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humorous real estate: “Ass is” - Are Your MLS Bloopers Self-Descriptive? - 11/11/11 02:10 PM
Fall is here, and as the leaves take on brilliant color, so does the MLS. Check out this week’s rash of bloopers, friends. Most of these remarks tell us more about the agent than the property. Thanks to Greg Cooper of Indianapolis, Jane Peters of Los Angeles, Margaret Goss of Winnetka, IL and Patty Da Silva of Davie, Florida for their great contributions. Nincompoops are nationwide!
Is This Your Bio? “Ass is” (As ass does?)
“Beautiful arched widows” (Wow – that’s gotta hurt…)
“No bank owe” (Uh, bank owe bigtime to U.S. taxpayers, pal.)
“Agetn Remarsk” (That’s hard to say with … (38 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Seller will include ether" - Listing Remarks from the Comatose - 11/04/11 03:20 PM
I just love auto-fill! It practically writes my blooper posts for me. This week’s listings included such amenities as ether, pizzas, and even a mail-order librarian. Check out this week’s colorful fare:
Slap and Tickle “Just hit marget” (I’d prefer to slap you, dufis.)
“100.0% down” (One more face in a bowl of bar nuts.)
“Seller will include ether” (I would think a doobie might suffice.)
“Just planted flor” (‘Just issued an APB for Flor’s husband…)
“Beautiful imported wood-paneled librarian” (Her stacks must be something to behold!)
Talk To Me Gently “Coffee and sandswishes” (Swishing is usually paired with sequins and a domineering mother.)
“Glazed tiles accent buth” (Glazed eyes accent … (30 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Head in Shower" - Halloween comes to the MLS? - 10/31/11 07:45 PM
Fall has arrived and leaves are falling off the trees, my friends. These real estate bloopers indicate that a lot of nuts have fallen off as well. Here’s some autumn color for you:
Amenities You Can Live Without “Nothing speared” (I suppose that’s a good selling point…if you’re a tuna.)
“New plow price” (That’s nice if you’re into tractor pulls.)
“Privates purchase” (That’s against the law… unless you’re a member of Congress of course.)
“Windsor village ppl home” (Windsor? I think the Village People live in West Hollywood – hence all the sequined shoes!)
‘Built-in girl” (You must be referring to Chaz … (22 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Seasonal creep" - More MLS Oddities! - 10/15/11 03:07 PM
Hi Friends, I'm traveling this week, so I decided to re-post some of my favorite bloopers: How About These Marketing Strategies! Kids Play Rum (And agent apparently drinks it.) Main house and carnage house. ( Proudly offered by Tony Soprano.) Home made hiney rolls served (Do I get wipes with that?) Club foot tub (How do you get those special orthopedic shoes on the feet?) Sheik contemporary (He drives a hybrid camel.) New pole in back yard for outdoor fun (Must be the Bunny Ranch.) Bring your fuzziest clients (You must be referring to my hairy ex mother-in-law.) Beautiful sanitarium for sunny … (38 comments)
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Gwen Banta
Los Angeles,
CA
More about me…
Sotheby's International Realty
Address: 9255 Sunset Blvd, Mezzanine, West Hollywood, CA, 90069
Office Phone: (310) 205-0305 x 140
Cell Phone: (323) 252-1700
Email Me
A very humorous Blog that highlights gaffes from the MLS and real estate ad bloopers.
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