humorous real estate: HILARIOUS D.O.A. LISTING REMARKS - THE BLOOPER BLOG
- 10/31/19 06:48 PM
Hi Friends - One of my zany followers asked me to re-post this for Halloween. Here is my D.O.A. post...with a few "killer" updates:
It’s Blooper day once again, my friends. There were enough typo casualties in the nationwide MLS listings this past week to fill an English Grammar ER. These are the cases that required serious triage, and of course, I was happy to help. Please enjoy:
The Oozy “Nice wounded area” (The area where the arrow impaled your skull?) “Calf after 7 pm.” (Apparently someone is having sliders for dinner…)
“Natural wildlife coroner” (High roadkill … (40 comments)
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humorous real estate: Friday laughs - The Blooper Blog
- 08/09/19 03:12 PM
'Making your career extinct with bloopers? Welcome back to the Blooper Blog, friends! I'm a firm believer that we should laugh at ourselves now...because it's harder to laugh once they strap you into a strait jacket. These MLS goofs underscore the fact that real estate can sometimes drive agents bonkers. Enjoy:
DUH!"Lot with curve appeal" (Near the corner of Melon Lane and Tuchus Terrace...)
“New Constriction needs finishes” (Old intestine needs fiber.)
“Hurry – this will be sod soon.” (So will my grandma, but it’s rude to rush people. )
“Coffened ceilings” (I see dead people.)
“Enjoy the sunrise with your mourning coffee” (Let me guess - the house with coffened … (40 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Built-in Book shives" - Hilarious MLS Bloopers
- 01/06/19 10:52 AM
Hi friends – Happy 2019! It seems we have started with a blast of bloopers, but it’s always good to begin the new year with a smile. Please enjoy: A Cut Above “Built-in book shives” (This must be cutting edge literature.) "Nice House - creek runs through it" (Maybe it's time to call RotoRooter.) “Nests on all levels” (Hence the droppings in your hair.) “New toilets insulted” (Who knew crappers were so sensitive?) “Closet Saturday” (Oh please - this is West Hollywood where nothing is closeted.) A Notch Below “Near jigging trail” (Is … (41 comments)
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humorous real estate: The Blooper Blog - Because we all need a few laughs
- 06/26/18 02:19 PM
This is pre-vacay hustle week, so for your amusement, I am re-posting one of my Blooper Blogs with a few new additions. One field of study in education must be in hibernation, my friends – spelling! But how much fun would we have if we couldn’t occasionally laugh at some of these ridiculous gaffes from the MLS and the local real estate ads? Please enjoy:
Where the Bodies Lie…“Lvg newly planted” (RIP – just like your listing.)
"Please do not test me" (If I did, you'd get an 'F.')
“Corn early” (Agricultural update provided by Old MacDonald..)
“Beautiful craftmanshit” (So it's a pile of crap … (38 comments)
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humorous real estate: Hilarious Real Estate Bloopers
- 04/05/18 09:51 PM
Hi Blooper fans. This must be a short blooper post as I am traveling, so I selected ten humdingers just to send you into the weekend with laughter. Thanks to AR's own fabulous Jane Peters for her incredible find! Please enjoy:
Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!
"Big wok in closet" (Big fire truck in driveway.)
"Copper tubb is hammerd" (So is the agent.)
"Nice tail behind" (I just assumed you had a load in your trousers.)
"Newly completed addition to horse" (That explains the hoof print embedded in your forehead.)
"Home on col de sock" (Agent on amphetamines.)
"Your clients ate royalty" (This gives "passing the … (32 comments)
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humorous real estate: “Matching back smash” - Hilarious MLS Bloopers
- 02/04/18 03:14 PM
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It's Blooper Day! Well friends, it has been an exciting week full of post-Super Bowl celebration. However, it seems a few folks still have hangovers, and these MLS bloopers are a great indication:
Kick-off
“Matching back smash” (This agent has a future in the WWF.)
“White quarts in bath” (If it’s a quart of vodka, count me in.)
“Stunning shaking cabinets” (Another exciting listing on the San Andreas Fault.)
”Beautiful root top view” (The only view from my roots is gray hair.)
“Give feeds back” (Said the cow to his stomach.)
"2 beds, 2 bats" (Great feature - everyone gets his own rat with wings.)
Halftime
“Vines cowering patio” (It’s … (22 comments)
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humorous real estate: "House on ben" - Hilarious MLS Bloopers
- 01/25/18 04:59 PM
Welcome to the World of Bloopers 2018, friends. Spelling and grammar still seems to be a challenge to many...with some hilarious results. Thanks to all of you who contributed these great gaffes from the MLS and local ads:
A Pig in A Poke
"House on downslop" (This must be a pigsty.)
"Soda in den not included" (Then how about a martini in the living room?)
"Seller retains water rites" (Hence the baptismal font on the front porch.)
"First house on ben in road" (I think Ben may have a good lawsuit.)
"Yard equipment strays" (Try turning off the motor on the lawn mower.)
Just for Kicks
"Buyer can kick … (28 comments)
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humorous real estate: Holiday Special - The Blooper Blog
- 12/19/17 12:16 PM
Hi Folks. Those of you who kindly follow me know that I post blogs with lists of bloopers I collect from the MLS and local real estate ads, as well as submissions from AR friends from all over the U.S. and Canada. Some gaffes are so bizarre and hilarious that I have often been asked how they can possibly be real. Well today I am submitting in its entirety one MLS entry that was sent to me by AR's own Jane Peters. (Thank you, Jane.)
I know English is a second language for many, which is something I truly respect and admire. However, … (82 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Salads swerved" - Blooper Friday is Ba-a-a-a-ck!
- 08/25/17 02:47 PM
Blooper Friday is back, my friends. Maybe the summer heat is causing a few blackouts, because there were some serious (and hilarious) lapses in spelling and grammar this week. Please enjoy:
Good Morning!
"Leave card - waffle for Alexa" (Does that come with a side of bacon?)
"Large faat area in back" (Have you considered liposuction?)
"Hottest area around" (You must be referring to the area under my boobs the entire month of August.)
"Only clear beverages allowed" (Okay, I'll just hold the olives in my mouth.)
"Sprinkling at 5:00" (Lucky you - I sprinkle every half hour.)
Good Afternoon!
"Relax poolslide" (I suspect this house is built on … (31 comments)
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humorous real estate: Year End Laughter - The Blooper Blog is Back!
- 12/05/16 03:45 PM
Hi Friends - I'm ba-a-a-ck! I thought we should end the year with some laughter so here's another collection of MLS and real estate advertising bloopers. Please enjoy, and Happy Holidays!
Cracks me up!
"Removed drawers" - (So I guess we should expect a full moon tonight?)
"Incredible curd appeal" - (I'll alert Miss Muffet.)
"Big wok in closet" - (That explains the noodles in your loafers.)
"New holiday open house hors" - (For those who want a new hooker for Christmas...)
"Walls with foe paint" - (In most neighborhoods that's known as graffiti.)
"Cappuccino bart" - (He must be the dude with clenched teeth who keeps bouncing off the walls.)
"Sleek … (29 comments)
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humorous real estate: Only in LA!
- 10/08/16 06:03 AM
PHOTO OF THE YEAR!
I just had to share this photo with my AR family. This is the main photo from an actual listing that was posted last week. I wonder what buyer pool this agent hopes to tap into!
… (33 comments)
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humorous real estate: “Guess area” - Head-Scratching MLS Bloopers
- 07/05/16 09:25 AM
Hey, Friends – it’s time for this week’s MLS Blooper Reel. Here are some of my favorite oldies, as well as a few new bloopers that will make you wonder how some people are able to find their way home at night...
No Pain“Will show in gropes” (You'll have to buy me dinner first)
“Guess area” (That's how I refer to my stove.)
“Near miking trail” ('Sounds like Mike has a urinary tract dysfunction.)
“Substndard plunb” (Yet not as substandard as your spelling.)
"Seller needs 30 day rentaback" (This give new meaning to "spineless.")
No Gain“Wrap this one up in a blow” (I would if you hadn’t snorted it all.)
“Modern constriction” (They’re called Spanx.)
“Attic … (33 comments)
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humorous real estate: “Radiation heat” - Nuclear Fallout on the MLS
- 02/17/16 10:25 AM
Hi Friends, some of you asked for another MLS blooper post, so I aim to please. Here is a mixture of some new head-scratching bloopers, as well as some of my old favorites that I thought were so funny they deserved another round.
Plug In The George Foreman“Radiation heat” (Buy, fry, and die.)
"Really goose house" (We bend over backwards for you.)
“Flame retarded fabrics” (It seems the flames had the same effect on you.)
“Sale due to divorcee" (Did you really believe she was your hubby's mechanic?)
"Chandeeleer excluded" (Why - because it fell on your head?)
And Now For the Side Dishes“Drawing for a pad” (For those with urinary challenges...)
“Nice … (43 comments)
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humorous real estate: Dress for Suck-cess - Dubious Fashion Trends
- 09/25/15 03:25 AM
An UnReal Estate Film Treatment
(Re-posted at the request of AR member Bruce Walter - thanks, Bruce)
C'mon - tell the truth - you've seen many agents who present such a bad image you know even their own parole officers wouldn't hire them. Today at an open house I saw an agent (with his client) who was decked out in shorts and flip flops. By contrast, at the same open house there was an agent in a very tasteful skirt. The agent's name was Steven. Okay, I made up the last one, but you get my point. Thus, I have decided to create a mini film treatment for your consideration … (50 comments)
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humorous real estate: “Professional stagger” - More Hilarious MLS Bloopers!
- 09/11/15 04:50 AM
Welcome to this week’s marketing typo blooper reel, friends. Apparently Siri and auto-spell have become my writing partners, as a lot of these MLS and advertising gaffes would suggest. I prefer to believe that haste makes waste, and not that stupidity is on the rise… but you be the judge:
Some Folks Misfire“Buyers live to love in this area” (Sold by Orgies-R-Us.)
“Big stink in kitch” (Big dog hiding under the table.)
"Send gnomes and numbers" (That explains the little pointed hats on the hat rack.)
“Really rice house” (Thank you, Wan Lobe Missin'.)
“Professional stagger” (That's what we call my Uncle Paddy after a six-pack of Guinness.)
"Clothes at 5 pm" (Nude at … (49 comments)
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humorous real estate: Lucy and Ethel 's Real Estate Adventure
- 08/24/15 05:07 AM
Oh, Ricky!
There is some old saying about the best laid plans going asunder, and I am about to tell you where asunder is: it's a place in New Jersey. Picture a lovely suburb of tract homes in Jersey, circa 1969. One year my mother Marie decided we should sell the family home and get something bigger than a bread box. I didn't mention my father Boyd, because he tried to stay clear of the caper - in fact, he tried to steer clear of ALL her capers. He would just sit in an overstuffed chair in front of the tube, as if anchored for safety, seemingly oblivious … (20 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Extra oven, warm drawers" - Sizzling MLS Bloopers!
- 01/23/15 03:38 AM
Welcome back to the 2015 Blooper kick-off, friends. Some things never change, and it seems that a lack of proofreading is one of them. Please enjoy these hysterical gaffes:
Cooking Your Own Goose?
"Extra oven, warm drawers" (That's your first clue not to stick your ass in the oven.)
"Large orifice" (Congratulations - you managed to get your foot into it.)
"Warts seeing" (If your warts have eyes, I'm guessing it's an STD.)
"Watch the moaning sun" (It's moaning about your inability to proofread.)
"Use your imagininaton" (...As you do when it comes to … (35 comments)
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humorous real estate: WHY WINOS SHOULDN'T SELL HOUSES
- 08/07/14 05:17 AM
Hi Friends - Recently I have had a number of requests for my "Wino Post." (Thank you, dear readers!) So here it is, back by popular demand.
The MLS and the L.A. Times Real Estate pages should be on Oprah's Reading List. Seriously. There are so many typos and outrageous remarks in the MLS that it makes for great leisure reading. The newspaper ads certainly add to the merriment. I love houses with features such as a "slimming pool" or a "crook's kitchen," especially if those features are in a "Post and Bean" house. And what could be more entertaining than … (27 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Hand-painted tikes" - Colorful & Hilarious MLS Goofs
- 03/13/14 10:25 AM
It’s time for the Blooper Reel, folks, and this week’s bloopers did not disappoint. Every week I receive contributions from all over the U.S. and Canada. These include hilarious gaffes from MLS sites as well as from real estate ads. Thanks to Patty Da Silva from Davie, Florida and Patrick Martin of L.A. for some whoppers. Names are withheld to protect the guilty, so let’s enjoy a few laughs:
Did I Say That? “Nice now - much better than beef” (McDonald’s ad – shortly after the “meat” was identified as wildebeest…)
“Just needs a moo” (Said the McDonald’s inspector as he placed a skull and … (52 comments)
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humorous real estate: "Big law in back" - MLS Crimes and Misdemeanors
- 10/23/13 08:20 AM
Welcome back to the Blooper Reel, friends. This week’s MLS and real estate advertising gaffes involve dogs, goats, popes, and a guy named George. What is careless is often comical and, uh, “colorful.” Please enjoy:
Got Your Goat “Let’s meet our goats together” (Sign on the meeting tent at Lost Shepherds Anonymous.)
“Georges house – open Sun” (When George steps out of the shower to the gasps of hoards of buyers – you’re toast, dude.
“Check out our properties on Goggle” (This must be the new search engine for snorkeling Realtors.)
“Unieek floor planned” (…Not as unique as your language skills.)
“Big law in back” … (17 comments)
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