listings: “Fruit archer in yard” - The Blooper Blog is Back!
- 05/31/18 04:43 PM
It's Blooper Friday, folks, and Summer Daze seems to be rampant. Please enjoy these MLS and real estate advertising gaffes:
Beans and Such
“Open lentil 2:00” (Clueless agent at 1:00)
“Fruit archer in yard” (That explains the arrow in your gourd.)
“Great color flavors” (Spoiler Alert: Licking lead paint kills brain cells.)
“Area is tranquilizing” (So is Ambien, but we know where that allegedly leads.)
“No need to go anywear for vacation” (I suggest a trip to summer school.)
Beano for Lunch
“Large pati with BBQ hook-up” (So large Pati has gas?)
“Come for frosty margarita” (Warm her up or call an Uber.)
“Built-in expresso machine” (Did it express its dismay … (31 comments)
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listings: "Double sank" (Going Down With Your MLS Bloopers?)
- 07/11/13 12:59 PM
Hi Everyone - I am traveling this week with little time to blog, but I didn't want to let down my loyal readers. Thus, I am re-blogging my own post from one year ago just so you all can have a few extra laughs this week. Please enjoy, and look for more new MLS bloopers as soon as I am back in sunny L.A. Have a great week!
Something Missing… “Too mush to describe” (Uh, your recent brain diagnosis?)
“Turn one” (Heidi Fleiss’s explanation when asked her line of work.)
“2 dedroom house” (That explains the divorce summons…)
… (59 comments)
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listings: "Instant hog water" - Excess Pork in Your Listings? (MLS Bloopers)
- 03/01/13 04:30 AM
The Blooper Reel is back, my friends. This week’s offering of marketing typos from the MLS included everything from stewed hogs to bowel problems. Read ‘em and weep:
Did You Just Say That? “Close to square” (Lamented SpongeBob SquarePants when asked to explain his lone pant leg.)
“Instant hog water” (Said farmer Fred sheepishly when asked why little Susie’s 4-H pig was missing.)
“2 inches rock hard” (Bragged Mickey Mouse to Minnie during foreplay.)
“Park only in detonated area” (What blew up – your career?)
Maybe You Should Think Before Speaking “Hot and chick area with EZ freeway access” (For … (30 comments)
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listings: "Large pouch adds charm" - MLS Bloopers and Belly Laughs
- 10/20/12 10:44 AM
“Well lawdy, lawdy, lawdy miss clawdy!” I suspect that Elvis was reading the MLS when he wrote those lyrics. He’d roll over in his grave and choke on his fried peanut butter sandwich if he were to see some of this week’s listing bloopers. Thanks to Jane Peters for her ever vigilant eye. Check ‘em out, friends:
Amenities I Could Do Without “Easy access to major arteries” (Advertising on a hot dog package, I presume.)
“Lots of draws” (Tombstone Herald headline following the Shootout at the OK Corral.)
“L-type copper w/silver soldiers” (Is this a processional of the Dubai Militia?)
… (42 comments)
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listings: "Greening stain floors" - MLS Bloopers That Will Make You Wet Your Shorts
- 10/11/12 05:05 PM
Does the expression “dog days of summer” refer to the heat, or are our canine friends doing the typing while their masters are on vacation? Some of these bloopers had to be typed by someone with no opposable thumbs. Enjoy the laughs:
Doggone Dumb “Restored with mare” (I guess that makes you the horse’s a_ _.)
“Mice home on good street” (Everyone loves a cheese wheel.)
“Near top-rated carver school” (Professor Hannibal Lecter at your service.)
“Layground nearby” (Sign on street near Hefner’s pad…)
“Rubble to be cleared” (It seems Barney and Betty are being run out of the neighborhood…)
… (42 comments)
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listings: "Porch swinger" - MLS Bloopers - The Slippery Slope to Disaster
- 09/21/12 08:43 AM
Jeez, Louise! Are agents typing their listing remarks while perched on bar stools at Hooters? My advice to each of you: you misunderstood the drunk on the bar stool next to you when he mistook you for a bright Rhodes Scholar. He actually said, “Wow, what a bright nose color!” After reading these MLS bloopers, your cheeks may be rose, too:
Dare I Inquire? “Do nut park in back” (Sign at L.A.P.D. headquarters.)
“A grate deal” (Are you selling homes or Parmesan?)
“Bestiful jew carpet” (Is there also a Fiddler on the Roof?)
“Charming porch swinger” (Send the sleazeball home … (38 comments)
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listings: "No shaved walls" - Are Your MLS Remarks Off By A Hair?
- 07/26/12 04:41 PM
It’s Wednesday – time for the weekly blooper reel. I suggest we add a new word to Websters Dictionary – Goof-reading. You may agree after you peruse these hilarious MLS and real estate advertising bloopers:
Roll ‘em Out “We’re rolling out the welcome matt” (Perhaps Matt should consider a low carb diet.)
“Lily scattered about” (Uh, I suggest you call an ambulance.)
“Just need youre imagenation” (What you need is a rehab.)
“Out of time to shop aground?” (Yes, I’m busy bailing out the boat.)
“Open every weakend til sold” (The “weakend” is the area above your neck.)
Round ‘em … (38 comments)
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listings: "One hat property" - Hair-Raising MLS Bloopers That Will
- 07/11/12 03:44 PM
Still recovering from the 4th? These bloopers indicate that some agents may still be trying to sober up. Check out these hilarious gaffes: Too Much Time On Your Hands “Moisture intruder” (Announcing the new superhero – Hose Man!)
“Bath byday” (Drink much by night?)
“One hat property!” ( One headless agent…)
“Out address is…” (Let me guess – Harvey Milk’s party invitation?)
Too Much Information “Mole in basement” (Last entry on the CIA Office Directory.)
“Wires near house not hot voltage” (Well, you obviously stuck your tongue on something!)
“Small lak in master bath” (Note to kayak enthusiasts: Avoid brown water.)
… (30 comments)
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listings: “Refrigerator imploded” - Going Down With Your Real Estate Ads?
- 07/06/12 04:06 AM
Sink, sank, sunk and stunk. The MLS and real estate ads this week continue to go down faster than Greece’s economy. Thanks to Bruce Walter of Lafayette, IN for some great material this week. Check out these hysterical bloopers (particularly the Freudian slips, as we saved the best for last):
Something Missing… “Too mush to describe” (Uh, your recent brain diagnosis?)
“Turn one” (Heidi Fleiss’s explanation when asked her line of work.)
“2 dedroom house” (That explains the divorce summons…)
“Maul area for kids” (I believe that called a mosh pit…)
Something Extra “Deck furniture i sperm” (So-o-o not something … (44 comments)
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listings: “Lots of chiropractor” - Does Your MLS Listing Need Adjustment?
- 06/21/12 04:13 PM
Just when you think you’ve seen ‘em all, a new batch of MLS and real estate advertising bloopers pops up. This group had me in tears:
A Few Good Laughs “Walk to clinic” (A sales pitch for those who itch!)
“Good valu for the moaning” (Sign on a hooker at Hollywood and Vine.)
“Breeze and sunshit” (It wasn't the sun, pal…it was that large bird with the toilet paper on his shoe.)
“Dip into the pook” (I take it "pook" is code for “tequila”?)
“Style and elephants” (This home must have sold for peanuts.)
Now I Can’t Breathe “Beutiful Spinach decor” (This gives … (35 comments)
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listings: "House has gas issues" - Is There a Cloud Around YOUR MLS Listing?
- 06/15/12 03:44 AM
Something is afoul on the MLS and in real estate advertising, folks. You’ll love the hilarious bloopers my colleagues and I discovered this past week. Thanks to Terri Gerger and Jane Peters of Los Angeles and Bruce Walter of West Lafayette, IN for their fabulous finds. Here are this week’s picks from the Big Blooper Scooper:
This Is a Deal? “Chandelier in front, upstairs bedroom is not included in sale of the house.” (Well somebody’s pissed with his lender!)
“Horse farm with open floor, covered front porch” (I doubt if it’s covered in anything I care to step in.)
“New … (41 comments)
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listings: "Widelife in area" - Trimming the MLS Fat
- 06/07/12 04:20 PM
If selling houses is like selling dreams, then welcome to my nightmare. Check out these hilarious bloopers that may convince buyers NOT to buy a home:
Interpreter, Please? “Iv covered walls” (So you're selling Cedars Sinai?)
“No night hors” (Try telling that to the gals working Hollywood Blvd.)
“Wall rocks in kitch” (Those crazy Italians must be trying to unload Pompeii.)
“Wired for cabal” (Epitaph on Saddam's Headstone.)
“Pls see tim change” (May I take photos while he does so?)
Did You Pay For This Ad? “Vacant lad” (Good for you – I highly endorse self-assessment.)
“Book runs through backyard” (Hmmm, finally some writing … (30 comments)
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listings: "View from fat area" - MLS Blubber 'n' Blunders
- 05/18/12 03:28 AM
The gaffes and laughs were all over the MLS and the real estate ads this week, friends. Do you recognize your listing remarks in any of these? If so, I’ll promise not to rat you out if you send me lots of money…or martinis…
MLS MONKEYSHINES
“View from fat area” (The only view from my fat area is my shoes.)
“Thought after area” (After-thought agent.)
“Wiggle room here” (Sign on the door at Strippers 'R' Us.)
“May ham bank approval” (If you are referring to B of A, mayhem is an understatement.)
Catting Around “Fresh cat of paint” (What’s the cat’s … (24 comments)
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listings: "One car grudge" - Hilarious MLS Backfires
- 04/05/12 03:03 PM
The Blooper Scooper is back, folks, and this week’s picks demonstrate the beauty of the written turd. Uh, word. Thanks to Bruce Walter of West Lafayette for his hysterical contribution. Check out these absurdities if you want a few laughs:
Expect the Unexpected “Please compact me” (Last words of Jimmy Hoffa)
“Good desin” (So the exorcism was a success?)
“Fax or bail docs” (If I bail out a doc, can I get a free colonoscopy?)
“House with colorful accent” (Must be an Italian villa…)
“Watch the sun set over the buffs” (Gold’s Gym must be up for sale.)
When Ordinary … (30 comments)
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listings: "Asphalt roll" - Are You Steam-Rolling Your Own MLS Listings?
- 02/17/12 02:39 AM
Is it any wonder I drink, folks? From beef to bull, this week’s MLS bloopers left me in tears. Thanks to Ben Goheen, Patty DaSilva and Jane Peters for their hysterical contributions. It’s nice to know that not all the crazies live in L.A. Check these out:
Out and About “Sellers mooed out” (They probably had a beef about something…)
“Preview only for out agents” (Offered by Barney Frank Realty.)
“Bank REO – sumbit with buyers’ credenza” (I would if I knew how to squeeze a credenza into a fax machine.)
“Pans for bedroom” (Welcome to Sunset Acres Nursing Home.)
“Asphalt roll … (40 comments)
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listings: "Expel the best" - How to Blow a Career with MLS Bloopers
- 01/14/12 05:08 AM
Something may have been rotten in the State of Denmark, but the MLS isn’t smelling much better. Check out these stinkers and clinkers from the MLS and other real estate ads if you’re in the mood for a few giggles:
Something Seems Amiss… “One moth incentive” (Do you wave wool sweaters before their little eyes?)
“Come see a good hose” (All I see is a dumb hoser.)
“This yer special” (Aww, yer special, too… in a really slow kind of way.)
“Ice cram served” (That’s even too kinky for me…and I live in L.A.!)
“$10k bonus to close end” (Have you tried the “ice … (39 comments)
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listings: "Ring hell" - Ringing in the Year with MLS Mayhem
- 01/06/12 05:21 AM
Happy New Year, friends. This year is starting out with as much laughter as we ended with in 2011 when buyers flocked “like bees to hiney.” (Please see the 2011 Dufis Award in my last post.) The following bloopers will prove that nothing much has changed regarding MLS giggles and goofs. Check out these gaffes to start your year with some hearty laughs:
One Too Many "Ring hell" (You mean New Jersey?)
“Mable on floor” (Apparently Mable is running a tab…)
“Start the year with a bung” (No thanks, I already divorced one of those.)
“Come for Thai launch” (I didn’t know a … (44 comments)
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listings: "Snort Sale" - The "Highs" and Lows of the MLS - 2011
- 12/22/11 06:00 PM
Well friends, this is my last blooper post of the year, and I still have not run out of material. I don’t know whether to thank these hapless agents or to flog them. At the very least, Perhaps I should commend them for sending us off into 2012 with a lot of laughter. Enjoy these bloopers, and have a Happy New Year everyone!
For Those With Hang-Ups “Kitch with breakfast hook” (Heehaw - hook ‘em, book ‘em and cook ‘em!)
“Indescribable wildlift” (How are those diet pills workin’ out for ya, sweetie?)
“Bif gym fully equipped” (Who’s more fully equipped – Bif or … (77 comments)
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listings: "Ass for Margie" - MLS Comments Worthy of a Spanking
- 11/28/11 04:40 PM
What a week for bloopers! I know agents are worn out this time of year, but we all need to hit the spell check button or we may go down in infamy. Witness these blooper classics, friends:
Falling Behind? “Nice butt needs work” (My ex said that just before his butt hit the curb.)
“Reel Estate Experts” (Oh yeah? Have you met my client, Moby Dick?)
“Bank needs alms length agreement” (I’ll expect alms from a bank the day Amelia Earhart crash lands on my patio.)
“Need roof export” (Call Auntie Em-n-Toto House “Sails.”)
“Hollywood Real Estale Listings” (Are they as stale as your dwindling career?)
Picking up … (23 comments)
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listings: "New Poop" - Haste makes Waste on the MLS
- 04/26/11 01:36 PM
Well friends, I'm back again with this week's bloopers, which seemed to fall into a food theme. I've concluded that there must be a lot of hungry real estate agents out there typing...and tippling, too. Some of these will have you licking your lips...or not.
Food Foibles
"Lunch and snakes" (Something tells me I'm the lunch...)
"Assordid desserts" (Let me guess - Little Debbie Snackin' Snakes?)
"Snacks, coffee and doughnutz" (Thank you, numnutz.)
"Lunch swerved" (Another driver texting while driving!)
"Cocktail hour open at 6:)) pn" (Methinks cocktail hour starts at your house at breakfast.)
"Join us for swshi" (Hmmm...male fish in high … (20 comments)
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