marketing: "Call if Still" - Hilarious MLS Bloopers DOA
- 07/07/17 12:46 PM
It’s Blooper day once again, my friends, so I am re-posting a past blooper blog by request. There were enough typo casualties to require serious triage, and of course, I was happy to help. Please enjoy:
The Oozy“Nice wounded area” (The area where that arrow impaled your skull?)
“Calf after 7 pm.” (Beef slider Happy Hour.)
“Natural wildlife coroner” (Move to LA - we autopsy your roadkill.)
“Scream setting” (Sign posted outside the IRS.)
“Call if still.” (It seems you met my last date.)
The Schmoozy“No show Thirsty” (I agree - always chug a six-pack before dealing with the public.)
“Maturd trees” (Well I guess we know what they used for fertilizer.)
“New pueblo … (27 comments)
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marketing: “Missle school nearby” - Explosive MLS Bloopers
- 04/22/16 03:46 AM
It’s Blooper Day, friends, so if you want a few hearty laughs, check out these MLS and advertising comments that self-detonated. Amongst these are some of my old favorites, as well as the newest in Blooper Madness. As proper spelling becomes more and more a thing of the past, the gaffes just keep coming:
Incoming!“Seller wood carry” (Apparently the seller is a lumberjack.)
“Medi room with theater seating” (How do you get the popcorn through the IV?)
“No deal with lawyers” (Proudly offered by Sue-mi Assnow.)
Fire in the Hole!“Must remove feet” (Who are you - Freddy Krueger?)
“Termite and dryrat present” (I hope you don't draw my name for the office … (26 comments)
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marketing: “Radiation heat” - Nuclear Fallout on the MLS
- 02/17/16 10:25 AM
Hi Friends, some of you asked for another MLS blooper post, so I aim to please. Here is a mixture of some new head-scratching bloopers, as well as some of my old favorites that I thought were so funny they deserved another round.
Plug In The George Foreman“Radiation heat” (Buy, fry, and die.)
"Really goose house" (We bend over backwards for you.)
“Flame retarded fabrics” (It seems the flames had the same effect on you.)
“Sale due to divorcee" (Did you really believe she was your hubby's mechanic?)
"Chandeeleer excluded" (Why - because it fell on your head?)
And Now For the Side Dishes“Drawing for a pad” (For those with urinary challenges...)
“Nice … (43 comments)
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marketing: Dress for Suck-cess - Dubious Fashion Trends
- 09/25/15 03:25 AM
An UnReal Estate Film Treatment
(Re-posted at the request of AR member Bruce Walter - thanks, Bruce)
C'mon - tell the truth - you've seen many agents who present such a bad image you know even their own parole officers wouldn't hire them. Today at an open house I saw an agent (with his client) who was decked out in shorts and flip flops. By contrast, at the same open house there was an agent in a very tasteful skirt. The agent's name was Steven. Okay, I made up the last one, but you get my point. Thus, I have decided to create a mini film treatment for your consideration … (50 comments)
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marketing: The Blooper Scooper - Hilarious MLS Gaffes!
- 03/16/15 05:57 AM
Hey friends, it's time for the Blooper Blog again. I accumulated some whoppers during my hiatus, as apparently carelessness remains rampant. On the other hand, perhaps we can attribute the gaffes to the fact that it's margarita season. (Oh, wait, maybe that's just at my house.) Here they are for your enjoyment:
Wasted?
"Two stoned house" (Too stoned agent.)
"New piles in kitchen" (New dog needs potty training)
"Please put on boots before entering" (Apparently the dog is a Great Dane.)
"Modern flares throughout" (Nice touch if you want a home visible from the International Space Station.)
… (24 comments)
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marketing: No, I'm Not in Witness Protection
- 03/02/15 09:35 AM
Hi Friends,
Several of you have been kind enough to inquire as to my whereabouts of late. I promise I will be back soon with The Blooper Blog, but in the meantime, I wanted to share what I have been doing. I am still at Sotheby's International Realty on Sunset Blvd, but two of my colleagues and I have added a new aspect to our business that involves Asian outreach.
Please check out the website if you have a few seconds. We can use all the help we can rustle up just to get us established on Google. Thanks so much - and keep sending … (23 comments)
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marketing: HILARIOUS HOLIDAY MLS BLOOPERS
- 12/09/14 09:24 AM
Well, folks, by all indications, the holiday partying has started. The MLS was full of bloopers this last week, and it seems we have more than a few tipsy agents running loose in the streets. Here are some chuckles as my gift to you for the holidays:
Yule Tid-Bits
"Really sweat deal" (Oh, I thought the wet circles under your arm pits were a fashion statement.)
"Holiday rice reduction" (So I can't stuff my turkey with beans-n-rice burritos this year?)
"This will impact your buyers." (One of my burritos will alleviate that problem fast.)
"Take shoes before entering." (Shall I take the shoe from the foot … (34 comments)
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marketing: “Price per spare foot" - Foot in Mouth Bloopers
- 10/15/14 05:59 AM
The Blooper Blog is back, my friends. Here are some old favorites mixed in with this week's rash of hilarious MLS and real estate advertising gaffes. Please enjoy:
Killer deals
“Appliances being de livered” (If you want something de-livered, call Hannibal Lecter.)
“Best price per spare foot” (I’m sure Lecter would be happy to remove that sucker for you.)
“This is a kikker deal!” (This must be the listing agent who has the spare foot.)
“Harruy – won’t last!” (Has he tried Viagra?)
“Closets by Closet Wizar” (Yet another way … (11 comments)
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marketing: Doggone Funny - Read 'em and Weep!
- 08/19/14 10:26 AM
It's Blooper Blog Friday, so hang onto your hats, my friends. The MLS and the local real estate ads were ripe for the pluckin. Carla Muss-Jacobs of Portland and Patrick Martin and Jane Peters of L.A. made some witty and wild contributions. You may choke on a few of these unwitting witticisms:
Need a Prescription? "Hot colons" (Another dinner at Pepe's Mexican Fire Pit, eh?)
"Full service with many aunties" (Is "aunties" code for "hookers"?)
"Two units for smell - probate" (That explains the smell...)
"Beware - Barb wore fence" (Things could be worse - she could have worn the family dog.)
… (19 comments)
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marketing: WHY WINOS SHOULDN'T SELL HOUSES
- 08/07/14 05:17 AM
Hi Friends - Recently I have had a number of requests for my "Wino Post." (Thank you, dear readers!) So here it is, back by popular demand.
The MLS and the L.A. Times Real Estate pages should be on Oprah's Reading List. Seriously. There are so many typos and outrageous remarks in the MLS that it makes for great leisure reading. The newspaper ads certainly add to the merriment. I love houses with features such as a "slimming pool" or a "crook's kitchen," especially if those features are in a "Post and Bean" house. And what could be more entertaining than … (27 comments)
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marketing: Donkey under mat" - Overlooking Your Own Asinine Bloopers?
- 07/19/14 11:09 AM
It's the end of another week and the Blooper Blog is back, my friends. There were some amazing gaffes on the MLS and in real estate advertising this week. It seems the need for truncated speech in social media outlets is relegating proper grammar to the past.
Kudos to Weird Al Yankovic for the release of his new song, "Word Crimes." It is a parody of Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" and hilariously expresses the need for good grammar and spelling - a reminder these agents could use! Please enjoy:
Is This Colorado?
"Ask agent about grass" (No need … (21 comments)
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marketing: Will Ghost your open" - Are MLS Bloopers Haunting Your Business?
- 07/11/14 10:06 AM
Hey friends, it's Blooper Day! I just returned from a brief vacation loaded with hilarious MLS gaffes. Of course, it's Friday - when I usually get loaded anyway - but that's not for publication. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for remaining my ever-faithful blooper scout. Check out these beauts:
Ghosted "Will ghost your open house" (I'm sure you're convinced you've seen Sasquatch, too...)
"House pus guest" (I suggest a double dose of antibiotics.)
"Wood floors in living room and dinging room" (Methinks you were dinged at birth, dude.)
"Bottom level reaks" (Have you tried changing your underwear?)
"Harv money loans" ( Harv must … (51 comments)
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marketing: Electrifying Listing Bloopers - MLS Laughs and Gaffes
- 06/12/14 04:27 PM
It's Blooper Friday, friends. Please join me for some hearty laughs as we review this week's MLS and real estate advertising gaffes. Thanks as always to Jane Peters, Jan Pastras and Patrick Martin for sharing their great discoveries.
Just for Giggles "House under current" (Reason number one not to wear a metal hat and tap shoes.)
"Remolded with lass" (What are you selling - Wonderbras?)
"Please come see before we expire" (Shall I call a priest?)
"Lunch swerved" (Never hire the caterer you met on the bar stool next to yours.)
"Open - nothing will please buyers like thi swill" … (83 comments)
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marketing: "Smoky lake view" - Are You Setting Your Career Aflame with Bloopers?
- 06/01/14 08:01 AM
It's blooper time, my friends. I'm back this week with another installment of hilarious MLS and real estate advertising gaffes. Thanks to Jan Pastras and Jane Peters of Los Angeles for some great contributions. Read 'em and weep: (Incidentally - the first 4 bloopers are all from the same listing!)
Reflections "Master w/ balcony watches the amazing sun rising" (The master of the house has a balcony...or the balcony has eyes? ...I'm soooo confused.)
"Smoky lake view" (News Flash: Your boat is on fire.)
"Big nookie off kitchen" (Well I guess that's one way to thank the cook.)
"18 degree canyon … (20 comments)
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marketing: "Quaint bride over creek" & Other Funny MLS Bloopers
- 05/12/14 12:04 PM
The Blooper Blog is back, friends, and this week the side-splitting MLS gaffes did not disappoint. (I swear it would make a great comic strip!) Thanks to Jane Peters and Wanda Kubat-Nerdin for their great blooper finds. Hold on for the chuckles:
Huh?
"Located between Malibu and Santa Barbara" (Your eye for detail is underwhelming.)
"Dull occupancy" (Are you referring to the voice inside your brain?)
"Tenant currently occupied" (Unless she's occupied with George Clooney, this does not warrant posting on the MLS.)
"Off-side parking" (That's what I do after too many martinis.)
"New pics of repaired indoor poo" (Frankly, I … (11 comments)
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marketing: "Wall space for arf" - Hilarious MLS Bloopers!
- 04/29/14 06:51 AM
It's time for Blooper fun, my friends. The MLS and advertising goofs this past week continue to provide a source of head-scratching - as well as some laugh-out-loud humor. Thanks to Myrl Jeffcoat of Sacramento and Jane Peters of Los Angeles for their great finds. Check out these memorable gaffes:
Hanky "Great wall space for arf" (Do you stick the dogs to the wall with Velcro?)
"Amenities a hop, skip and a hump." (Sign me up for the last one, please.)
"Room with waking closet" (I see dead people.)
"Anal membership included" (That's a club I'm not interested in joining.)
"New … (12 comments)
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marketing: "Condo has food bones" - Hilarious Bits & Pieces From the MLS
- 04/09/14 05:34 AM
I'm b-a-a-ack. Yes, it's Blooper Day again, and goofs were everywhere this past week. Reading the MLS was like reading a comic book, and the local real estate ads were even more, uh, "creative." I also received some very funny submissions from my sharp-eyed colleagues. Thanks to Jan Pastras, Jane Peters and Patrick Martin, all of L.A., for their help with all the fun. Please enjoy:
Bones "Condo has food bones" (Offered by Carnivore Condos - Motto: "We kill it, we eat it, and then we sell it.")
"Construction complete in Mars" (You should consider setting up business there.)
"This is a nice hoof" … (12 comments)
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marketing: "Stacked Unise" - Keeping Abreast of Hilarious MLS Goofs
- 03/24/14 09:24 AM
The Blooper Scooper is back, folks, and what a hilarious week it was! The MLS and local real estate ads were rife with goofs. Thanks to Jane Peters and Patrick Martin from Los Angeles for their side-splitting contributions. Read 'em and weep:
All-tered State "New copboards thruout" (Let me guess - they can store a lot of donuts?)
"Access to amnesties -need membership" (Aerial leaflets dropped by mystery red-white-and-blue planes seen flying over Moscow.)
"Small Jim included" (I think they prefer to be called "little people.")
"Visit beautiful Fleur de Flys" (Hence the maggots in your hair.)
"Seller dead - can't be repaired" (Ergo the … (35 comments)
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marketing: "Hand-painted tikes" - Colorful & Hilarious MLS Goofs
- 03/13/14 10:25 AM
It’s time for the Blooper Reel, folks, and this week’s bloopers did not disappoint. Every week I receive contributions from all over the U.S. and Canada. These include hilarious gaffes from MLS sites as well as from real estate ads. Thanks to Patty Da Silva from Davie, Florida and Patrick Martin of L.A. for some whoppers. Names are withheld to protect the guilty, so let’s enjoy a few laughs:
Did I Say That? “Nice now - much better than beef” (McDonald’s ad – shortly after the “meat” was identified as wildebeest…)
“Just needs a moo” (Said the McDonald’s inspector as he placed a skull and … (52 comments)
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marketing: "Proof of Earnest Monkey" - Another Week of Hysterical MLS Goofs
- 02/27/14 08:00 AM
It’s Blooper Day, my friends – and some of this week’s real estate advertising and MLS gaffes are as baffling as Richard Sherman’s post-game rant. Let these be a lesson as to why one shouldn’t type during a play-off kegger. Thanks to Jane Peters and Patrick Martin, both from L.A., for their great contributions. Please enjoy:
Fish Sticks “Leave card for filet” (Oh, is that a fish? I just thought you were just happy to see me.)
“House is moving” (Newsflash: Landslides are not a selling feature.)
“Wine close” (Yeah, when the wine box is empty, the party is over for me, too.)
… (87 comments)
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