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marketing: “Beautiful craftmanshit” - The Straight Poop About MLS Bloopers - 05/24/12 11:06 AM
Something in America has died, my friends – spelling! But how much fun would we have if we couldn’t occasionally laugh at some of these ridiculous bloopers from the MLS and the local real estate ads? Some of these are worth donning a party hat:
Where the Bodies Lie… “Lvg newly planted” (RIP – Just like your listing.)
“Windows have plantations” (Let me guess…Keith Richards’ grow house?)
“Corn early” (Agricultural update provided by Chief Sitting Bull.)
“Beautiful craftmanshit” (…So it’s a pile of crap like your career?)
Decomposed and Deconstructed “Details from a bye gone era (Kiss your seller bye while … (34 comments)
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marketing: "View from fat area" - MLS Blubber 'n' Blunders - 05/18/12 10:28 AM
The gaffes and laughs were all over the MLS and the real estate ads this week, friends. Do you recognize your listing remarks in any of these? If so, I’ll promise not to rat you out if you send me lots of money…or martinis…
MLS MONKEYSHINES
“View from fat area” (The only view from my fat area is my shoes.)
“Thought after area” (After-thought agent.)
“Wiggle room here” (Sign on the door at Strippers 'R' Us.)
“May ham bank approval” (If you are referring to B of A, mayhem is an understatement.)
Catting Around “Fresh cat of paint” (What’s the cat’s … (24 comments)
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marketing: "Just got shine" - Boozin', Snoozin' & Losin' on the MLS - 05/11/12 10:28 AM
Hmmm… this week I couldn’t figure out if folks were dropping in, dropping out, or just dropping acid. The Blooper Scooper is back, my friends. Check out this week’s spectacular MLS gaffes:
Please Tell Me You Don’t Plan to Reproduce “Just got shine” (Guffawed the bootlegger as he pulled cousin Bubba out of the still.)
“High c’lings and interisting ankles” (Nonetheless, Jim, I think you could find a more flattering pair of high heels.)
“Large carpart” (Screamed the tourist upon his first encounter with the Hollywood freeway.)
“Kitchen w/ pass trough” (I’ll alert the cows.)
“Proberty has extra space” (So does … (20 comments)
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marketing: “Lots of fres hair” - Hair Raising MLS Bloopers - 05/04/12 12:54 AM
The Blooper Scooper is back, folks. Bad-spelling-while-selling seems to be an epidemic. Thanks to Jane Peters and Bruce Walter for sending me some great contributions this week. These are from all over the country, lest you think all the nuts are here in L.A. Check these out:
Splitting Hairs
“Lots of fres hair” (Let me guess... How to identify Diana Ross in a monsoon?)
“Nice bungalou” (Crooned Desi, as Lucy and her banana hat toppled into the orchestra pit.)
“Polish Peg Floors with visible knots” (Polish Peg could use a laxative.)
“Huge Malibu cornpound” (If I were the seller, I'd tell you … (55 comments)
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marketing: "Wife Installed" - Odd Features and Strange Creatures - The MLS - 04/20/12 11:38 AM
In spite of a recovering market, there was some subconscious hostility displayed in real estate this week, friends. Check out these Freudian bloopers I came across in local real estate ads and the MLS. Prozac anyone?
Flying High "Planes available" (Advertised Jet Blue after the general populace finally realized it's a suicidal airline.)
"Lots of mirres" (Did you notice the reflection of that stupid guy looking back at you?)
"Nice floor pans" (Uh, to improve the wok-way?)
"Killer view" (Said Inmate # 7 when asked why he wanted a room upgrade.)
"Peckaboo view" (Said Randy Rooster while peering at a hot hen … (40 comments)
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marketing: "High cop rate" - MLS Highs and Lows - 04/13/12 12:15 AM
Reading the MLS and local real estate ads is like reading the comics. I just wish I were artistic enough to accompany these bloopers with cartoon drawings. Thanks to Vicki Moore of San Mateo for her great contribution. Visualize these hilarious gaffes in a comic strip:
Resident President “Set a president” (Set him where – on my mantle?)
“Lots of cass” (The reason the Mamas and the Papas traveled in an extra wide van.)
“AA good house – needs your touches” (Celebrity Rehab Rehab.)
“Microwake” (The time between when you hit the snooze button and “Oh-sh_t-I’ve-overslept-again!”)
“Studio with walking closet” … (30 comments)
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marketing: "One car grudge" - Hilarious MLS Backfires - 04/05/12 10:03 PM
The Blooper Scooper is back, folks, and this week’s picks demonstrate the beauty of the written turd. Uh, word. Thanks to Bruce Walter of West Lafayette for his hysterical contribution. Check out these absurdities if you want a few laughs:
Expect the Unexpected “Please compact me” (Last words of Jimmy Hoffa)
“Good desin” (So the exorcism was a success?)
“Fax or bail docs” (If I bail out a doc, can I get a free colonoscopy?)
“House with colorful accent” (Must be an Italian villa…)
“Watch the sun set over the buffs” (Gold’s Gym must be up for sale.)
When Ordinary … (30 comments)
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marketing: "In escargot" - Hasty 'n' Tasty MLS Bloopers - 03/30/12 04:26 PM
This was a week for great bloopers and auto-fill madness, folks. Thanks to Bruce Walter of West Lafayette, Indiana for his hilarious farmer contribution. Check out these MLS and real estate advertising funnies:
Dishing It Out "Will sell soot" (Proudly offered by Bert, The Chimney Sweep and his partner, Mary Poppins.)
"Farmers makeit every Tuesday" (Hence the term, "bump-her crop.".)
"Make this your nest cattle" (Word to the wise: If there's a cattle nest in your tree, don't sit under it without a really big hat.)
"Sophistication and crass" ( Sandra Bullock when she was with Jesse James?)
"Nice scaly rooms" (The … (30 comments)
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marketing: "Real germ" - The MLS Misspelling Plague - 03/23/12 09:45 AM
You can say toe-may-to, and I can say toe-mah-toe, but we both need to spell it properly unless we want to come off like morons, right? Well, you decide. The MLS apparently has come out with a new dictionary I didn’t know about: The MLS Garble Edition.
Read it and weep:
Now Trending… "Real germ” (Uh, pet name for your ex?)
“Retaining wall shited” (You would, too, if you were hanging onto a California hillside during a 6.7 shaker.)
“Recently samblasted” (A description of my home after my Uncle Sam eats cabbage.)
“Won bedroom” (What one is left with after a Hollywood divorce.)
“Hat property” (You … (34 comments)
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marketing: "Seller wants clothes" - The Naked Truth About MLS Bloopers - 03/16/12 12:45 PM
All I can say is, “Ouch!” Some of these flubs should be etched on the tombstones of the perpetrators. Imagine these bloopers on headstones: And Here I Lie… “Loin has been removed” (Bragged Tony “The Eviscerator” Tartaglia before catching a flight back to Jersey.)
“Alaroundeck furniture” (Alaroundumb advertising.)
“Widow boxes add charm” (How charming can one be when stuffed in a box?)
“Hurry, lost one!” (“David Livingstone, I presume?”)
And No Wonder I’m Dead… “Come S to avoid confession” (What's this - a welcome sign on the Road to Hell?)
“This is high over all others” (You must be referring to Don King’s hair.)
… (44 comments)
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marketing: "Realy goose house" - Cooking Your Goose on the MLS - 03/01/12 11:58 PM
Are you cooking your own goose with your listing remarks? This week was a smorgasbord of blooper delights. Yes, real estate can be a pressure cooker, friends, but it seems these agents have offered themselves up as the first course:
Plug In The George Foreman "Realy goose house" (Let me guess - you'll bend over backwards for me?)
“Radiation heet” (Oh great - buy, fry, and die.)
“Flame retarded fabrics” (It seems the flames had the same effect on you.)
“Gas – landlords” (Then I'd advise you not to light a match near his arse.)
“Seller wants fist” (I’m not touching this one…)
“Divorce special” … (62 comments)
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marketing: "You will like a log" - MLS Gaffes and Laughs - 02/24/12 08:25 AM
The world of real estate has gone mad. The MLS had so many bloopers this past week that I’m convinced the winter slump has set in and brains are hibernating. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles and Fred Glick of Philadelphia for their great finds. Enjoy the fun, my friends:
You Snooze, You Lose “Very delirious home” (…And it seems you've been drinking the Cool-Aid.)
“Trembled marble” (You’d tremble, too, if you were laid out on a slab.)
“Submerge docs with FICOs” (Newsflash: Most FICO’s already went down the crapper.)
“Features tennis pools” (How desirable can wet balls really be?)
“Your … (32 comments)
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marketing: "Asphalt roll" - Are You Steam-Rolling Your Own MLS Listings? - 02/17/12 10:39 AM
Is it any wonder I drink, folks? From beef to bull, this week’s MLS bloopers left me in tears. Thanks to Ben Goheen, Patty DaSilva and Jane Peters for their hysterical contributions. It’s nice to know that not all the crazies live in L.A. Check these out:
Out and About “Sellers mooed out” (They probably had a beef about something…)
“Preview only for out agents” (Offered by Barney Frank Realty.)
“Bank REO – sumbit with buyers’ credenza” (I would if I knew how to squeeze a credenza into a fax machine.)
“Pans for bedroom” (Welcome to Sunset Acres Nursing Home.)
“Asphalt roll … (40 comments)
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marketing: "On steep hell" - MLS Bloopers - An Assessment of Your Career? - 02/10/12 01:48 PM
I am all for having a martini or two, folks. Maybe even three if it’s at least 10:00 AM. (I have my standards, you know.) However, I do draw the line at drinking and typing. It seems the MLS is going to hell in a hand basket. Read these real estate bloopers and tell me if you agree that there should be a breathalyzer test for fingers:
Corn Squeezins = Loss of Reason “Pone found at open house” (Proudly ofered by Alabama Al and his Cornbread Combo.)
“Seller says he’s don” (That explains the horse’s head in your bed.)
“New studdo in back” (New bottle … (72 comments)
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marketing: "Foe painting" - This Week's Colorful MLS Bloopers - 02/03/12 12:49 PM
As an experienced agent, I sometimes think I’ve seen everything, but when I read the remarks below, I realized I have so much to learn. For instance, how does one get enough pate for a road? Or enough figs to make drapes? And why would one shag on a roof? Read these bloopers, and then maybe you can explain it all to me:
A Leg Up On Things “Leg in for details” (Oh yay – we’re doing the Hokey-Pokey!)
“Custom figged drapes” (How do you get the little fig seeds into the fabric?)
“Road just pated” (Hence the expression, “What am I … (106 comments)
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marketing: "Bald touches" - Are Your Listing Remarks Missing by a Hair? - 01/27/12 02:39 AM
Yes, it's Friday, and the Blooper Scooper is back. When you see some of the gaffes I found this week, you may want to shave your own head in protest. Check out these hysterical faux pas, friends:
Please tell me it’s a joke… “Park at Kim’s Wart” ( Uh, not so fast - is there a hair growing out of it?)
“Blow-up sale” (Did this occur before or after you blew up your career?)”
“Electriiciity now on” (My gut says you tested the outlets with a fork.)
“Key hidden under matt” (I can only imagine where Matt’s keyhole is…)
“Dont hasittate” (Don’t drink Nyquil.)
Please tell … (43 comments)
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marketing: "Fumbled marble" - Do Your Listing Remarks Reflect Your Life? - 01/20/12 02:55 PM
The year is rolling along at the speed of idiots! Check out these bloopers from the MLS and real estate ads, and I’m sure I’ll get no argument. Jane Peters of Los Angeles and Michael Jacobs of Pasadena both found some great bloopers this week. I suspect this year will be a wild ride, folks!
Fumble, Bumble and Stumble “Fumbled marble adores baths” (Fumbled agent adores martinis.)
“Somother work to be done” (Say good-bye to the mother-in-law.)
“Formal dinging room” (Shag carpet, I presume?)
“Will maul your directly” (Said Sean Penn just before he took out two paparazzi.)
“Processing pee” (For those who … (33 comments)
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marketing: "Expel the best" - How to Blow a Career with MLS Bloopers - 01/14/12 01:08 PM
Something may have been rotten in the State of Denmark, but the MLS isn’t smelling much better. Check out these stinkers and clinkers from the MLS and other real estate ads if you’re in the mood for a few giggles:
Something Seems Amiss… “One moth incentive” (Do you wave wool sweaters before their little eyes?)
“Come see a good hose” (All I see is a dumb hoser.)
“This yer special” (Aww, yer special, too… in a really slow kind of way.)
“Ice cram served” (That’s even too kinky for me…and I live in L.A.!)
“$10k bonus to close end” (Have you tried the “ice … (39 comments)
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marketing: "THE RING LEADER" - Check This Out! - 01/11/12 10:55 PM
ANNOUNCING SOMETHING EXCITING!!!!
“The Ring Leader”
Premieres Monday, February 27 at 10pm ET/PT on BRAVO
Follows larger than life wedding planner, KRISTIN BANTA, whose out-of-the-box style is revolutionizing the way couples look at their special day.
Hip, hysterical, and artistic beyond the limits of imagination.
Yes, friends, she's my darling daughter, so forgive a mother's pride...and please tune in. She's beautiful, hysterical, and soooo talented. No, none of it came from me - I just popped her out and raised her on martinis, the Stones, and John Irving. Okay, maybe it was I who was drinking the martinis. I can't … (35 comments)
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marketing: "Ring hell" - Ringing in the Year with MLS Mayhem - 01/06/12 01:21 PM
Happy New Year, friends. This year is starting out with as much laughter as we ended with in 2011 when buyers flocked “like bees to hiney.” (Please see the 2011 Dufis Award in my last post.) The following bloopers will prove that nothing much has changed regarding MLS giggles and goofs. Check out these gaffes to start your year with some hearty laughs:
One Too Many "Ring hell" (You mean New Jersey?)
“Mable on floor” (Apparently Mable is running a tab…)
“Start the year with a bung” (No thanks, I already divorced one of those.)
“Come for Thai launch” (I didn’t know a … (44 comments)
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Gwen Banta
Los Angeles,
CA
More about me…
Sotheby's International Realty
Address: 9255 Sunset Blvd, Mezzanine, West Hollywood, CA, 90069
Office Phone: (310) 205-0305 x 140
Cell Phone: (323) 252-1700
Email Me
A very humorous Blog that highlights gaffes from the MLS and real estate ad bloopers.
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