mls: “Guess area” - Head-Scratching MLS Bloopers
- 07/05/16 04:25 PM
Hey, Friends – it’s time for this week’s MLS Blooper Reel. Here are some of my favorite oldies, as well as a few new bloopers that will make you wonder how some people are able to find their way home at night...
No Pain“Will show in gropes” (You'll have to buy me dinner first)
“Guess area” (That's how I refer to my stove.)
“Near miking trail” ('Sounds like Mike has a urinary tract dysfunction.)
“Substndard plunb” (Yet not as substandard as your spelling.)
"Seller needs 30 day rentaback" (This give new meaning to "spineless.")
No Gain“Wrap this one up in a blow” (I would if you hadn’t snorted it all.)
“Modern constriction” (They’re called Spanx.)
mls: “Missle school nearby” - Explosive MLS Bloopers
- 04/22/16 10:46 AM
It’s Blooper Day, friends, so if you want a few hearty laughs, check out these MLS and advertising comments that self-detonated. Amongst these are some of my old favorites, as well as the newest in Blooper Madness. As proper spelling becomes more and more a thing of the past, the gaffes just keep coming:
Incoming!“Seller wood carry” (Apparently the seller is a lumberjack.)
“Medi room with theater seating” (How do you get the popcorn through the IV?)
“No deal with lawyers” (Proudly offered by Sue-mi Assnow.)
Fire in the Hole!“Must remove feet” (Who are you - Freddy Krueger?)
“Termite and dryrat present” (I hope you don't draw my name for the office
mls: The Blooper Scooper - Hilarious MLS Gaffes!
- 03/16/15 12:57 PM
Hey friends, it's time for the Blooper Blog again. I accumulated some whoppers during my hiatus, as apparently carelessness remains rampant. On the other hand, perhaps we can attribute the gaffes to the fact that it's margarita season. (Oh, wait, maybe that's just at my house.) Here they are for your enjoyment:
"Two stoned house" (Too stoned agent.)
"New piles in kitchen" (New dog needs potty training)
"Please put on boots before entering" (Apparently the dog is a Great Dane.)
"Modern flares throughout" (Nice touch if you want a home visible from the International Space Station.)
mls: "Extinctive neighborhood" - Killing Your Career with Bloopers?
- 11/10/14 05:04 PM
Welcome back to the Blooper Blog, friends! I'm a firm believer that we should laugh at ourselves now...because it's harder to laugh once they strap you into a strait jacket. These MLS goofs underscore the fact that real estate can sometimes drive agents bonkers. Thanks to Jane Peters for her sharp eye and great contributions.
DUH! "Lot with curve appeal" (This must be the corner of Melon Lane and Tuchus Terrace.)
“New Constriction needs finishes” (Old intestine needs fiber.)
“Hurry – this will be sod soon.” (So will my grandma, but it’s rude to rush people. )
“Coffened ceilings” (I see dead people.)
“Enjoy the sunrise with your
mls: Doggone Funny - Read 'em and Weep!
- 08/19/14 05:26 PM
It's Blooper Blog Friday, so hang onto your hats, my friends. The MLS and the local real estate ads were ripe for the pluckin. Carla Muss-Jacobs of Portland and Patrick Martin and Jane Peters of L.A. made some witty and wild contributions. You may choke on a few of these unwitting witticisms:
Need a Prescription? "Hot colons" (Another dinner at Pepe's Mexican Fire Pit, eh?)
"Full service with many aunties" (Is "aunties" code for "hookers"?)
"Two units for smell - probate" (That explains the smell...)
"Beware - Barb wore fence" (Things could be worse - she could have worn the family dog.)
mls: WHY WINOS SHOULDN'T SELL HOUSES
- 08/07/14 12:17 PM
Hi Friends - Recently I have had a number of requests for my "Wino Post." (Thank you, dear readers!) So here it is, back by popular demand.
The MLS and the L.A. Times Real Estate pages should be on Oprah's Reading List. Seriously. There are so many typos and outrageous remarks in the MLS that it makes for great leisure reading. The newspaper ads certainly add to the merriment. I love houses with features such as a "slimming pool" or a "crook's kitchen," especially if those features are in a "Post and Bean" house. And what could be more entertaining than
mls: Donkey under mat" - Overlooking Your Own Asinine Bloopers?
- 07/19/14 06:09 PM
It's the end of another week and the Blooper Blog is back, my friends. There were some amazing gaffes on the MLS and in real estate advertising this week. It seems the need for truncated speech in social media outlets is relegating proper grammar to the past.
Kudos to Weird Al Yankovic for the release of his new song, "Word Crimes." It is a parody of Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" and hilariously expresses the need for good grammar and spelling - a reminder these agents could use! Please enjoy:
Is This Colorado?
"Ask agent about grass" (No need
mls: Will Ghost your open" - Are MLS Bloopers Haunting Your Business?
- 07/11/14 05:06 PM
Hey friends, it's Blooper Day! I just returned from a brief vacation loaded with hilarious MLS gaffes. Of course, it's Friday - when I usually get loaded anyway - but that's not for publication. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for remaining my ever-faithful blooper scout. Check out these beauts:
Ghosted "Will ghost your open house" (I'm sure you're convinced you've seen Sasquatch, too...)
"House pus guest" (I suggest a double dose of antibiotics.)
"Wood floors in living room and dinging room" (Methinks you were dinged at birth, dude.)
"Bottom level reaks" (Have you tried changing your underwear?)
"Harv money loans" ( Harv must
mls: "Smoky lake view" - Are You Setting Your Career Aflame with Bloopers?
- 06/01/14 03:01 PM
It's blooper time, my friends. I'm back this week with another installment of hilarious MLS and real estate advertising gaffes. Thanks to Jan Pastras and Jane Peters of Los Angeles for some great contributions. Read 'em and weep: (Incidentally - the first 4 bloopers are all from the same listing!)
Reflections "Master w/ balcony watches the amazing sun rising" (The master of the house has a balcony...or the balcony has eyes? ...I'm soooo confused.)
"Smoky lake view" (News Flash: Your boat is on fire.)
"Big nookie off kitchen" (Well I guess that's one way to thank the cook.)
"18 degree canyon
mls: "Quaint bride over creek" & Other Funny MLS Bloopers
- 05/12/14 07:04 PM
The Blooper Blog is back, friends, and this week the side-splitting MLS gaffes did not disappoint. (I swear it would make a great comic strip!) Thanks to Jane Peters and Wanda Kubat-Nerdin for their great blooper finds. Hold on for the chuckles:
"Located between Malibu and Santa Barbara" (Your eye for detail is underwhelming.)
"Dull occupancy" (Are you referring to the voice inside your brain?)
"Tenant currently occupied" (Unless she's occupied with George Clooney, this does not warrant posting on the MLS.)
"Off-side parking" (That's what I do after too many martinis.)
"New pics of repaired indoor poo" (Frankly, I
mls: "Wall space for arf" - Hilarious MLS Bloopers!
- 04/29/14 01:51 PM
It's time for Blooper fun, my friends. The MLS and advertising goofs this past week continue to provide a source of head-scratching - as well as some laugh-out-loud humor. Thanks to Myrl Jeffcoat of Sacramento and Jane Peters of Los Angeles for their great finds. Check out these memorable gaffes:
Hanky "Great wall space for arf" (Do you stick the dogs to the wall with Velcro?)
"Amenities a hop, skip and a hump." (Sign me up for the last one, please.)
"Room with waking closet" (I see dead people.)
"Anal membership included" (That's a club I'm not interested in joining.)
mls: "Condo has food bones" - Hilarious Bits & Pieces From the MLS
- 04/09/14 12:34 PM
I'm b-a-a-ack. Yes, it's Blooper Day again, and goofs were everywhere this past week. Reading the MLS was like reading a comic book, and the local real estate ads were even more, uh, "creative." I also received some very funny submissions from my sharp-eyed colleagues. Thanks to Jan Pastras, Jane Peters and Patrick Martin, all of L.A., for their help with all the fun. Please enjoy:
Bones "Condo has food bones" (Offered by Carnivore Condos - Motto: "We kill it, we eat it, and then we sell it.")
"Construction complete in Mars" (You should consider setting up business there.)
"This is a nice hoof"
mls: "Stacked Unise" - Keeping Abreast of Hilarious MLS Goofs
- 03/24/14 04:24 PM
The Blooper Scooper is back, folks, and what a hilarious week it was! The MLS and local real estate ads were rife with goofs. Thanks to Jane Peters and Patrick Martin from Los Angeles for their side-splitting contributions. Read 'em and weep:
All-tered State "New copboards thruout" (Let me guess - they can store a lot of donuts?)
"Access to amnesties -need membership" (Aerial leaflets dropped by mystery red-white-and-blue planes seen flying over Moscow.)
"Small Jim included" (I think they prefer to be called "little people.")
"Visit beautiful Fleur de Flys" (Hence the maggots in your hair.)
"Seller dead - can't be repaired" (Ergo the
mls: "Hand-painted tikes" - Colorful & Hilarious MLS Goofs
- 03/13/14 05:25 PM
It’s time for the Blooper Reel, folks, and this week’s bloopers did not disappoint. Every week I receive contributions from all over the U.S. and Canada. These include hilarious gaffes from MLS sites as well as from real estate ads. Thanks to Patty Da Silva from Davie, Florida and Patrick Martin of L.A. for some whoppers. Names are withheld to protect the guilty, so let’s enjoy a few laughs:
Did I Say That? “Nice now - much better than beef” (McDonald’s ad – shortly after the “meat” was identified as wildebeest…)
“Just needs a moo” (Said the McDonald’s inspector as he placed a skull and
mls: "Proof of Earnest Monkey" - Another Week of Hysterical MLS Goofs
- 02/27/14 04:00 PM
It’s Blooper Day, my friends – and some of this week’s real estate advertising and MLS gaffes are as baffling as Richard Sherman’s post-game rant. Let these be a lesson as to why one shouldn’t type during a play-off kegger. Thanks to Jane Peters and Patrick Martin, both from L.A., for their great contributions. Please enjoy:
Fish Sticks “Leave card for filet” (Oh, is that a fish? I just thought you were just happy to see me.)
“House is moving” (Newsflash: Landslides are not a selling feature.)
“Wine close” (Yeah, when the wine box is empty, the party is over for me, too.)
mls: "Raid House" - Hilarious Marketing Bloopers!
- 02/14/14 01:32 PM
Welcome to this week’s edition of “Dazed and Confused." I am not sure how any of this hilarious ad copy will help sell the properties being marketed. Nevertheless, these bloopers do provide some giggles, so please enjoy:
Well, of course! “New bullit house” (Just another day in Bonnie and Clyde’s ’hood…)
“Please request paperwok” (Not unless a fire extinguisher comes with it…)
“Nicest house aground” (Real Estate ad in The Shipwreck Times.)
“High Def TB included” (That explains the X-Ray machine in the driveway.)
“Free-sanding house” (I think Habitat for Humanity already came up with that idea.)
Well off-course “Drawing for new Druid” (Good,we
mls: "Trainquil setting" - Are You Off-Track Due To Listing Bloopers?
- 01/29/14 06:42 PM
Happy Friday - the Blooper Reel is back! No matter how many times I decide to take a vacation from posting, the gaffes on the MLS and in the local real estate ads are just too hysterical to ignore. Thanks as always for your wonderful contributions – I received some great ones this week from L.A.'s very own agent extraordinaire Jane Peters. Now hold on for the laughter:
Goin’ South… “Needs attention for sagging” (Are you referring to my boobs, or Justin Bieber’s pants?)
“Leather-cowered walls” (If you were that cow, you’d be cowering, too, pal.)
“Desirable area near lark” (Garbled the raccoon
mls: “Drop by for launch” - A New Year of Hilarious MLS Bloopers Has Begun!
- 01/17/14 02:37 PM
Hi friends, and Happy New Year. A new year of bloopers is already in full-swing. Check out these gaffes that indicate that some people didn’t learn how to proof-read in 2013. However, the culprits are certainly providing some laughs for 2014. Please enjoy!
Ready for take-off!
“New ear speacial!" (Proudly offered by Vincent Van Gogh at Asymmetrical Realty, Inc.)
“We are now back in full swig” (I think that’s apparent, pal.)
“Pot-holiday reduction” (This property is obviously in mile-high Colorado.)
“Drop by for launch” (Methinks you’re as high as the Colorado Realtor.)
“A step above all otters” (That’s good to know…if I’m buying a houseboat.)
mls: "Large puberty" - Hilarious MLS Holiday Bloopers
- 12/19/13 12:39 PM
It’s Blooper Day, friends, and ’tis the season for hilarity. I think a few hapless folks thought that “Fall Back” was referring to performance levels, because some of these gaffes are doozies. Thanks to Mike Cooper and Bruce Walter for their contributions. Check ‘em out:
Under the Dome “Dome upgrades made” (Oh, I just thought you were selling an igloo.)
"MEW Reo" (Sadly, another fine cathouse has gone under.)
“Property runs to storm drain” (That’s called ‘erosion’, dude.)
“Motivate your clients with great rats” (That would motivate me to get the hell out of Dodge.)
“Fax doc for review” (But he keeps
mls: “Easy SOW” - Holiday Bloopers on the MLS
- 11/29/13 04:18 PM
Hi, friends – it’s blooper day, so hop aboard for another ride on the Blooper Loco-motive. These hysterical MLS gaffes are telltale signs that some folks are really off-track. Jane Peters shared a number of bloopers with us this week, so here we go – hang on to your hats!
Mysterious “Submit poff of fuunds” (Methinks you’ve poffed enough already, Dweezil.)
“We qualify foreign naturals” ( For what – the Fruit of the Week at Whole Foods?)
“House has new sliding” (Neighbor with demolished house has new insurance claim.)
“Advance notice for meatup” (This must be an ad for the World