mls: “Don’t expsct pefection” Are Your Listings Revealing The Real You?
- 03/07/13 04:18 PM
Ah, at last it's Friday, and the fun continues. It’s time for the blooper reel, my friends, and as usual, there is no dearth of material. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles, Bruce Walter of West Lafayette, Indiana, and Michael Jacobs of Pasadena, CA. for some great submissions this week. Bruce even supplied the final quip. My posse never does me wrong. Please enjoy:
For the Kiddies “Playroom inc bouncy cattle” (Milkshakes anyone?)
“Viyl flooring” (Not as vile as your spelling)
“House sits on ben” (Hence Ben’s smashed shoes protruding from the crawl space vent.)
“New grazed tile” (How did … (20 comments)
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mls: "Instant hog water" - Excess Pork in Your Listings? (MLS Bloopers)
- 03/01/13 04:30 AM
The Blooper Reel is back, my friends. This week’s offering of marketing typos from the MLS included everything from stewed hogs to bowel problems. Read ‘em and weep:
Did You Just Say That? “Close to square” (Lamented SpongeBob SquarePants when asked to explain his lone pant leg.)
“Instant hog water” (Said farmer Fred sheepishly when asked why little Susie’s 4-H pig was missing.)
“2 inches rock hard” (Bragged Mickey Mouse to Minnie during foreplay.)
“Park only in detonated area” (What blew up – your career?)
Maybe You Should Think Before Speaking “Hot and chick area with EZ freeway access” (For … (30 comments)
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mls: "Sledding doors" - Are Your Listings Going Downhill Due to Bloopers?
- 02/21/13 04:35 PM
If the guy next to you has something yellow on his face, it may be egg. Yes, folks, it's Friday once again, and the Blooper Blog is back with some very embarrassing marketing blunders. Check out these hilarious MLS gaffes…and then go proofread your own listing remarks, or you, too, could end up in the Blooper Hall of Fame:
Fruits and Nuts “Plum missing” (Offered by Little Jack Horner Real Estate and Produce Company. )
“Overlooks steam” (For those in the market for a porno movie theater...)
“Sink spayer missing” (How does one spay a dog in a sink? …And that … (36 comments)
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mls: “Bull in cabnets" - Gaffes and Laughs on the MLS
- 02/15/13 01:56 AM
It was another week of fun and marketing folly on the MLS, friends. Welcome back to the Blooper Blog. Are you one of the guilty perps who published any of these hysterical sales pitches?
What’s That Smell? “Garage has n odoor” (So do your feet, but I wouldn’t consider that a selling point.)
“Mouton home” (Now we know why Mary’s Little Lambs disappeared so suddenly.)
“Wow assking” (Whispered Snoop to Ice T when he spotted the colossal a__ on Ice’s wife..)
“Hosting multiple peeviews this weekend” (Groaned one urinal to the other in the men’s restroom at Gold’s Gym.)
“Compound … (30 comments)
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mls: "Register gnome" - More MLS Blooper Madness!
- 02/07/13 03:29 PM
Welcome to this week’s marketing typo blooper reel, friends. Apparently Siri and auto-spell have become my writing partners, as a lot of these real estate advertising gaffes would suggest. I prefer to believe that haste makes waste, and not that stupidity is on the rise… but you be the judge. Thanks to Margaret Goss of Winnetka, IL, Jane Peters of Los Angeles, and Patty DaSilva from Davie, FL for their hilarious MLS blooper finds. Please enjoy:
Some Folks Misfire “Buyers live to love in this area” (Welcome to The Shady Lady Ranch.)
“Really rice house” (Thank you, Wan Lobe Missin.)
“Big … (22 comments)
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mls: “Home on right side of toad” MLS Bloopers - Warts and All
- 01/31/13 03:56 PM
The Blooper Blog is back, friends. Thanks to Bruce Walter of West Lafayette, Indiana for a laundry list of hysterical blooper finds. Believe it or not, only one was from L.A. this week! Maybe word is getting out that Big Bother is watching. Uh, Big Brother. No, let’s stick with Bother. Check out these very funny marketing typos:
My Kind of Man “Handy man wanted 3 bedrooms” (He’s not only handy, he’s energetic!)
“Partial basemen” (That explains the wooden legs in the dugout.)
“Most lightening is missing” (That’s because it touched down in your cranium.)
“Dining rm with double foreplace” … (38 comments)
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mls: “Large fester” - Hilarious MLS Blooper Eruptions
- 01/26/13 08:46 AM
Hi, Friends. It probably doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone that the blooper reel is back with more gaffes than I have time to tripe...uh, I mean "type". Thanks to Jan Pastras and Patrick Martin of Los Angeles for their very funny (albeit pathetic) blooper submissions. I am beginning to think that proper spelling is hysterectomy…or whatever Siri thought I just said. Enjoy:
That’s Not What I Said “Jazzmen trees” (That explains why Herbie Hancock is hanging from my tree.)
“Enter another wad” (Grinned Brewers outfielder Nyjer Morgan while shoving a plug of nasty tobacco into his gob.)
“Feed the … (67 comments)
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mls: "Holidie with us" - 15 Blooper Deal-Killers
- 01/17/13 05:03 PM
For those of you just returning, welcome back to the 2013 Blooper Blog, friends. As expected, the year started out with a number of hysterical real estate marketing bloopers from the MLS and from real estate ads all over the U.S. Thanks to Patty DaSilva of Davie, FL for her great contributions. Please enjoy:
Ringing in the Nude…uh, I mean “New” “Nude and slick” (Caption under Anthony Weiner's Twitter photo.)
“Rein damage” (Explained Rudolph when asked about his ugly bald patches.)
“This home will see itself” (Ah…a house with insight!)
“Beautiful 4 Bd/2 Ba bed horse” (Who knew the Trojan horse had … (24 comments)
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mls: "Peace and statuary" - Hilarious Marketing Bloopers
- 01/10/13 03:17 PM
Here we go again – it’s Blooper Madness. Honestly folks, these marketing typos and ridiculous gaffes are not all from here in Los Angeles. A.R.'s own Bruce Walter will back me up on that, as a lot of these head-scratchers come from his local area of Indiana. I get submissions from everywhere, so I guess all the nuts haven’t rolled to California after all…although I will admit that we have a surplus. Please enjoy:
That had to Hurt “Updates include 200 amo electrical” (Obviously you’ve tested that by sticking your tongue in an outlet.)
“Beautiful mud century detailing” (I’ll alert the shepherds.)
“3 Bad/Ba” … (82 comments)
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mls: Ya' Can't Fix Stupid: 2012's Best MLS Blooper Round-up
- 12/28/12 01:59 PM
Friends, it seems everyone has a Top 10 List of some kind as the year rolls to a close, so why shouldn't we have one here at AR? These are my top picks for Blooper of the Year from my weekly MLS blooper blog. Read, enjoy, and have a wonderful 2013!
Bend Over
“Buyers will flock like bees to hiney” (Now we know the origin of the saying, "That's a sweet piece of a_ _!" )
“Area to add poon” (Nope, not going there...)
"Submit forks by Tues." (Or what, I'm forked?)
"Truly … (100 comments)
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mls: "Moon-in now" - Are You Making an Arse of Yourself on the MLS?
- 12/23/12 04:37 AM
No, it's not Halloween, folks, but prepare yourselves for a year's-end freak-show. The Blooper Scooper is back with some real head-scratchers from the MLS and local ads. Thanks to my friends, Patty da Silva of Davie, Florida, and Jane Peters of L.A. for their great finds. Check out these winners-from-losers who have already had a bit too much Christmas "cheer":
Listing Go Boom! “Newc on market” (That explains the load of uranium in the front yard.)
“Ham made kitchen cabinets” (Hence the term, "bringing home the bacon.")
“Credit for the mob” (In Jersey, we call that “paying Tony Two-Fingers the vig.”)
“Near L.A. metro lime” (L.A. … (29 comments)
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mls: "Curtain snot included" - The Post-Nasal MLS
- 12/14/12 05:49 AM
The Blooper Scooper is back, friends. It seems that every area of the country is experiencing MLS 2012 meltdown. Some of this week’s gaffes were hilarious. Thanks to Mort Maizlish of Santa Barbara for his “birds-n-trees” and other whoppers, as well as to Margaret Goss of Winnetka, Illinois, Alin V. Zdroba of Aventura Florida, and Marge Piwowarski of Phoenix, AZ for their hysterical contributions.
What’s That Odd Smell? “This home has all the bongs and whistles” (Perhaps you should consider a new staging company…)
“Pool and pokher room” (Uh, isn't a pokher room usually referred to as a bedroom?)
“Great setup for … (28 comments)
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mls: "House has morte" - Death by MLS
- 12/05/12 08:33 AM
Welcome to this week’s blooper reel, friends. We all know that selling homes is a skill, not a game of cards. However, with some of these agents, selling must be a game of luck and chance. Thanks to Jane Peters and Jan Pastras, both from right here in LaLa Land, for their great submissions. Check out these classic MLS bloopers – the Joker is wild!
Deal ‘em "Harry won't last" (Neither will you, pal.)
"Buyer to check date” (For what – condoms?)
"This house has morte” (...As evidenced by your rapidly declining career.)
“Very unicorn house” (Very horse’s a_ _ agent.)
… (26 comments)
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mls: Where's Waldo?
- 11/17/12 09:48 AM
Dear Loyal Readers,
If you've been looking for me and wondering where the weekly Blooper Blog is, you'll have to forgive my absence. Due to a spectacularly klutzy fall during which I broke my leg, I will be incommunicado for a few weeks. Although they screwed and bolted me back together like a modern Frankenstein, I cannot resume my normal work load for a short while. In fact, I cannot even put enough weight on my new titanium-laced tibia to begin therapy for at least six - eight weeks. In a few weeks, I will be coherent enough to make snarky … (16 comments)
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mls: "Only smell dogs" - Sniffing Out Bloopers On The MLS
- 11/09/12 08:39 AM
There is no hope in sight when it comes to typos on the MLS, folks. Siri is my new best friend, as “her” errors in dictation on iPhones has provided a slew of hysterical gaffes for me to share with you. Thanks to Jane Peters for the whopper of the week!
Nurse, Bring in the Life Support Equipment! “New gavel in drive” (Thank you, Judge Judy.)
“Buried carle” (Oh my, did he die suddenly?)
“Must call for Ele hookup” (Whispered Heidi Fleiss to Eliot Spitzer in the produce aisle at Von’s.)
“Gym w/ pilots equipment included” (Methinks you’re flying high, … (53 comments)
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mls: “Beautiful new pint” - Beer, Bloopers and Buffoons!
- 11/01/12 05:43 PM
How do I spell thee? Let me count the ways… Apparently there are ways to spell words that neither Elizabeth Barrett Browning, nor we, ever knew about until Siri and Auto-fill entered our busy lives. Here are some hilarious bloopers to make you smell. Uh, I mean smile:
You Say Email, I Say Anal “Email entire pkg with POF to eliminate waste” (I must admit that beats an enema.)
“Echo friendly graden” (Believe me, nothing you said is worth repeating.)
“Stained grass” (This brings back fond memories of a college Sigmi Chi party…)
“Just needs a spit shin” (The last time … (22 comments)
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mls: "Large pouch adds charm" - MLS Bloopers and Belly Laughs
- 10/20/12 10:44 AM
“Well lawdy, lawdy, lawdy miss clawdy!” I suspect that Elvis was reading the MLS when he wrote those lyrics. He’d roll over in his grave and choke on his fried peanut butter sandwich if he were to see some of this week’s listing bloopers. Thanks to Jane Peters for her ever vigilant eye. Check ‘em out, friends:
Amenities I Could Do Without “Easy access to major arteries” (Advertising on a hot dog package, I presume.)
“Lots of draws” (Tombstone Herald headline following the Shootout at the OK Corral.)
“L-type copper w/silver soldiers” (Is this a processional of the Dubai Militia?)
… (42 comments)
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mls: "Greening stain floors" - MLS Bloopers That Will Make You Wet Your Shorts
- 10/11/12 05:05 PM
Does the expression “dog days of summer” refer to the heat, or are our canine friends doing the typing while their masters are on vacation? Some of these bloopers had to be typed by someone with no opposable thumbs. Enjoy the laughs:
Doggone Dumb “Restored with mare” (I guess that makes you the horse’s a_ _.)
“Mice home on good street” (Everyone loves a cheese wheel.)
“Near top-rated carver school” (Professor Hannibal Lecter at your service.)
“Layground nearby” (Sign on street near Hefner’s pad…)
“Rubble to be cleared” (It seems Barney and Betty are being run out of the neighborhood…)
… (42 comments)
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mls: "Knight views" - MLS Bloopers - Is There A Chink in YOUR Armor?
- 09/27/12 06:48 PM
Riddle: Why did the chicken fall down in the middle of the road? (A.) Too many margaritas at the Corn Coop? (B.) He was auditioning for a part in The God-fodder? (C.) He was laughing so hard after reading the MLS that he passed a kidney stone?
If you guessed “C,” welcome back to this week’s blooper blog. For a good laugh, check out these eggs that were laid:
First Came the Egg “Do not go beyond dead end” (It seems your career already has.)
“Blonds to be installed” (Whispered Harry Reid to his cronies while lounging in the Senate … (47 comments)
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mls: "Porch swinger" - MLS Bloopers - The Slippery Slope to Disaster
- 09/21/12 08:43 AM
Jeez, Louise! Are agents typing their listing remarks while perched on bar stools at Hooters? My advice to each of you: you misunderstood the drunk on the bar stool next to you when he mistook you for a bright Rhodes Scholar. He actually said, “Wow, what a bright nose color!” After reading these MLS bloopers, your cheeks may be rose, too:
Dare I Inquire? “Do nut park in back” (Sign at L.A.P.D. headquarters.)
“A grate deal” (Are you selling homes or Parmesan?)
“Bestiful jew carpet” (Is there also a Fiddler on the Roof?)
“Charming porch swinger” (Send the sleazeball home … (38 comments)
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