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real estate bloopers: “Beautiful craftmanshit” - The Straight Poop About MLS Bloopers - 05/24/12 11:06 AM
Something in America has died, my friends – spelling! But how much fun would we have if we couldn’t occasionally laugh at some of these ridiculous bloopers from the MLS and the local real estate ads? Some of these are worth donning a party hat:
Where the Bodies Lie… “Lvg newly planted” (RIP – Just like your listing.)
“Windows have plantations” (Let me guess…Keith Richards’ grow house?)
“Corn early” (Agricultural update provided by Chief Sitting Bull.)
“Beautiful craftmanshit” (…So it’s a pile of crap like your career?)
Decomposed and Deconstructed “Details from a bye gone era (Kiss your seller bye while … (34 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Just got shine" - Boozin', Snoozin' & Losin' on the MLS - 05/11/12 10:28 AM
Hmmm… this week I couldn’t figure out if folks were dropping in, dropping out, or just dropping acid. The Blooper Scooper is back, my friends. Check out this week’s spectacular MLS gaffes:
Please Tell Me You Don’t Plan to Reproduce “Just got shine” (Guffawed the bootlegger as he pulled cousin Bubba out of the still.)
“High c’lings and interisting ankles” (Nonetheless, Jim, I think you could find a more flattering pair of high heels.)
“Large carpart” (Screamed the tourist upon his first encounter with the Hollywood freeway.)
“Kitchen w/ pass trough” (I’ll alert the cows.)
“Proberty has extra space” (So does … (20 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Seller wants clothes" - The Naked Truth About MLS Bloopers - 03/16/12 12:45 PM
All I can say is, “Ouch!” Some of these flubs should be etched on the tombstones of the perpetrators. Imagine these bloopers on headstones: And Here I Lie… “Loin has been removed” (Bragged Tony “The Eviscerator” Tartaglia before catching a flight back to Jersey.)
“Alaroundeck furniture” (Alaroundumb advertising.)
“Widow boxes add charm” (How charming can one be when stuffed in a box?)
“Hurry, lost one!” (“David Livingstone, I presume?”)
And No Wonder I’m Dead… “Come S to avoid confession” (What's this - a welcome sign on the Road to Hell?)
“This is high over all others” (You must be referring to Don King’s hair.)
… (44 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Asphalt roll" - Are You Steam-Rolling Your Own MLS Listings? - 02/17/12 10:39 AM
Is it any wonder I drink, folks? From beef to bull, this week’s MLS bloopers left me in tears. Thanks to Ben Goheen, Patty DaSilva and Jane Peters for their hysterical contributions. It’s nice to know that not all the crazies live in L.A. Check these out:
Out and About “Sellers mooed out” (They probably had a beef about something…)
“Preview only for out agents” (Offered by Barney Frank Realty.)
“Bank REO – sumbit with buyers’ credenza” (I would if I knew how to squeeze a credenza into a fax machine.)
“Pans for bedroom” (Welcome to Sunset Acres Nursing Home.)
“Asphalt roll … (40 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "On steep hell" - MLS Bloopers - An Assessment of Your Career? - 02/10/12 01:48 PM
I am all for having a martini or two, folks. Maybe even three if it’s at least 10:00 AM. (I have my standards, you know.) However, I do draw the line at drinking and typing. It seems the MLS is going to hell in a hand basket. Read these real estate bloopers and tell me if you agree that there should be a breathalyzer test for fingers:
Corn Squeezins = Loss of Reason “Pone found at open house” (Proudly ofered by Alabama Al and his Cornbread Combo.)
“Seller says he’s don” (That explains the horse’s head in your bed.)
“New studdo in back” (New bottle … (72 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Foe painting" - This Week's Colorful MLS Bloopers - 02/03/12 12:49 PM
As an experienced agent, I sometimes think I’ve seen everything, but when I read the remarks below, I realized I have so much to learn. For instance, how does one get enough pate for a road? Or enough figs to make drapes? And why would one shag on a roof? Read these bloopers, and then maybe you can explain it all to me:
A Leg Up On Things “Leg in for details” (Oh yay – we’re doing the Hokey-Pokey!)
“Custom figged drapes” (How do you get the little fig seeds into the fabric?)
“Road just pated” (Hence the expression, “What am I … (106 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Fumbled marble" - Do Your Listing Remarks Reflect Your Life? - 01/20/12 02:55 PM
The year is rolling along at the speed of idiots! Check out these bloopers from the MLS and real estate ads, and I’m sure I’ll get no argument. Jane Peters of Los Angeles and Michael Jacobs of Pasadena both found some great bloopers this week. I suspect this year will be a wild ride, folks!
Fumble, Bumble and Stumble “Fumbled marble adores baths” (Fumbled agent adores martinis.)
“Somother work to be done” (Say good-bye to the mother-in-law.)
“Formal dinging room” (Shag carpet, I presume?)
“Will maul your directly” (Said Sean Penn just before he took out two paparazzi.)
“Processing pee” (For those who … (33 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Expel the best" - How to Blow a Career with MLS Bloopers - 01/14/12 01:08 PM
Something may have been rotten in the State of Denmark, but the MLS isn’t smelling much better. Check out these stinkers and clinkers from the MLS and other real estate ads if you’re in the mood for a few giggles:
Something Seems Amiss… “One moth incentive” (Do you wave wool sweaters before their little eyes?)
“Come see a good hose” (All I see is a dumb hoser.)
“This yer special” (Aww, yer special, too… in a really slow kind of way.)
“Ice cram served” (That’s even too kinky for me…and I live in L.A.!)
“$10k bonus to close end” (Have you tried the “ice … (39 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Ring hell" - Ringing in the Year with MLS Mayhem - 01/06/12 01:21 PM
Happy New Year, friends. This year is starting out with as much laughter as we ended with in 2011 when buyers flocked “like bees to hiney.” (Please see the 2011 Dufis Award in my last post.) The following bloopers will prove that nothing much has changed regarding MLS giggles and goofs. Check out these gaffes to start your year with some hearty laughs:
One Too Many "Ring hell" (You mean New Jersey?)
“Mable on floor” (Apparently Mable is running a tab…)
“Start the year with a bung” (No thanks, I already divorced one of those.)
“Come for Thai launch” (I didn’t know a … (44 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Snort Sale" - The "Highs" and Lows of the MLS - 2011 - 12/23/11 02:00 AM
Well friends, this is my last blooper post of the year, and I still have not run out of material. I don’t know whether to thank these hapless agents or to flog them. At the very least, Perhaps I should commend them for sending us off into 2012 with a lot of laughter. Enjoy these bloopers, and have a Happy New Year everyone!
For Those With Hang-Ups “Kitch with breakfast hook” (Heehaw - hook ‘em, book ‘em and cook ‘em!)
“Indescribable wildlift” (How are those diet pills workin’ out for ya, sweetie?)
“Bif gym fully equipped” (Who’s more fully equipped – Bif or … (77 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Charmin...home" - MLS Remarks That Can Wipe Out A Career - 12/16/11 01:36 AM
From blundering fools to complete tools, the bloopers on the MLS were hysterical this week, friends. I received some great contributions from John M. Scott of beautiful San Francisco, Jane Peters from right here in our beloved L.A., and Bruce Walter from the great Hoosier State of Indiana. Enjoy the the goofs, and have a wonderful holiday, everyone!
First the Fools… “Large fool” (Is that the slogan on your business card?)
“Three badrooms” (Two turtle doves and an agent in an i-di-ot tree.)
“Small lender” (That politically incorrect - I believe they are called elves…)
“Parka in living room” (Eskimo in the hot tub?)
“It has a spa … (52 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Ass for Margie" - MLS Comments Worthy of a Spanking - 11/29/11 12:40 AM
What a week for bloopers! I know agents are worn out this time of year, but we all need to hit the spell check button or we may go down in infamy. Witness these blooper classics, friends:
Falling Behind? “Nice butt needs work” (My ex said that just before his butt hit the curb.)
“Reel Estate Experts” (Oh yeah? Have you met my client, Moby Dick?)
“Bank needs alms length agreement” (I’ll expect alms from a bank the day Amelia Earhart crash lands on my patio.)
“Need roof export” (Call Auntie Em-n-Toto House “Sails.”)
“Hollywood Real Estale Listings” (Are they as stale as your dwindling career?)
Picking up … (23 comments)
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real estate bloopers: “Dull Viking ovens” - Do your MLS remarks have the right spark? - 11/18/11 02:27 PM
The year is starting a march toward its natural ending, friends…and it seems a few real estate careers may be also. This week I found some real head-scratchers in local real estate ads and the MLS. However, I get submissions from all over the U.S., so no one is safe from the eyes of the Blooper Scooper. Check out these blunders:
Do You Smell Smoke? “House has spark” (Apparently your real estate career isn’t the only thing going up in smoke.)
“Big pep area in kitchen” (Is that the cookie jar where Mommy Dearest stashes her uppers?)
“Dull Viking ovens” (Methinks there’s something in the cookie jar that will … (56 comments)
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real estate bloopers: “Ass is” - Are Your MLS Bloopers Self-Descriptive? - 11/11/11 02:10 PM
Fall is here, and as the leaves take on brilliant color, so does the MLS. Check out this week’s rash of bloopers, friends. Most of these remarks tell us more about the agent than the property. Thanks to Greg Cooper of Indianapolis, Jane Peters of Los Angeles, Margaret Goss of Winnetka, IL and Patty Da Silva of Davie, Florida for their great contributions. Nincompoops are nationwide!
Is This Your Bio? “Ass is” (As ass does?)
“Beautiful arched widows” (Wow – that’s gotta hurt…)
“No bank owe” (Uh, bank owe bigtime to U.S. taxpayers, pal.)
“Agetn Remarsk” (That’s hard to say with … (38 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Seller will include ether" - Listing Remarks from the Comatose - 11/04/11 03:20 PM
I just love auto-fill! It practically writes my blooper posts for me. This week’s listings included such amenities as ether, pizzas, and even a mail-order librarian. Check out this week’s colorful fare:
Slap and Tickle “Just hit marget” (I’d prefer to slap you, dufis.)
“100.0% down” (One more face in a bowl of bar nuts.)
“Seller will include ether” (I would think a doobie might suffice.)
“Just planted flor” (‘Just issued an APB for Flor’s husband…)
“Beautiful imported wood-paneled librarian” (Her stacks must be something to behold!)
Talk To Me Gently “Coffee and sandswishes” (Swishing is usually paired with sequins and a domineering mother.)
“Glazed tiles accent buth” (Glazed eyes accent … (30 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Head in Shower" - Halloween comes to the MLS? - 10/31/11 07:45 PM
Fall has arrived and leaves are falling off the trees, my friends. These real estate bloopers indicate that a lot of nuts have fallen off as well. Here’s some autumn color for you:
Amenities You Can Live Without “Nothing speared” (I suppose that’s a good selling point…if you’re a tuna.)
“New plow price” (That’s nice if you’re into tractor pulls.)
“Privates purchase” (That’s against the law… unless you’re a member of Congress of course.)
“Windsor village ppl home” (Windsor? I think the Village People live in West Hollywood – hence all the sequined shoes!)
‘Built-in girl” (You must be referring to Chaz … (22 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Steaks mark line" - Where's the Beef? (MLS Blunders) - 10/07/11 11:56 AM
Well, you can tell it's getting close to Halloween - there was a freak show on the MLS this week. From green pudding to fat pads, there was some serious weirdness going on! Thanks to Sandra Matthewson for her great contribution. Remember, friends, “Those who are sage proofread a page.”
It’s Party Time! "Haunch served" (Do I get Chianti and fava beans with that?)
“Need proof of funs” (How ‘bout a party hat and a martini shaker?)
“House numbers on grass” (I suspect the agent is on grass, too.)
“Water hater – needs replacement” (Personally, I like to replace my … (30 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Multiple tourists" - The Blooper Sightseeing Bus - 09/30/11 03:07 PM
When was the last time you saw a tourist in your back yard...or a horse head on your street? This week the Blooper Scooper picked up some beauties, friends. Some of these goofs are baffling, but I think we owe Auto-fill a lot of credit for that. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for her great find. Spell well and sell well, folks!
The Tour Is About To Begin “Backyard has multiple tourists” (Another Hollywood tour bus veered off course.)
“New mane to street” (Thank you, Vito Corleone.)
“Furnished least by Oct 1″ (Offered by We-Steal-Your-Stuff Realty)
“Dome vacancies” (Is the dome that … (31 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "Drip in" - Agents Running Amuck on the MLS - 09/16/11 02:57 PM
I’m beginning to wonder if some of the typos I find on the MLS and in open house ads are intentional, folks. Apparently some agents will promise anything to fill their open houses and to sell their properties. Check out the comments below. There just can’t be that much booze in this world… You guessed it – it’s Blooper Friday, friends:
Peculiar Open Houses “Drip in between 2-5″ (I’ll alert AARP - many of us have leaking problems.)
“Bring the kiss for fun” (Only if you bring your wallet for dinner.)
“Wine and chest served” (Another party guaranteed to leave lasting mammaries…)
“Join us … (68 comments)
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real estate bloopers: "BBQ Above garbage" - Listing Remarks That Went Up In Smoke - 09/02/11 02:26 PM
I’m back this week with more MLS and real estate ad bloopers; and a few of them will bring tears to your eyes. Some of these agents are either in too much of a hurry, or too dumb to waste air. But who am I to judge…I once signed a letter, “Best retards, Gwen.” I am sure my client thought that said it all. Thanks to Dick Beals of Wilmington, NC for his great contribution. Proof or goof, friends. Check these out:
Haste Makes “Waste” “Deck with BBQ above garbage” (What could be more tempting than maggots on a burger?)
“Craport for two” … (80 comments)
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Gwen Banta
Los Angeles,
CA
More about me…
Sotheby's International Realty
Address: 9255 Sunset Blvd, Mezzanine, West Hollywood, CA, 90069
Office Phone: (310) 205-0305 x 140
Cell Phone: (323) 252-1700
Email Me
A very humorous Blog that highlights gaffes from the MLS and real estate ad bloopers.
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