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realtors: “Beautiful craftmanshit” - The Straight Poop About MLS Bloopers - 05/24/12 11:06 AM
Something in America has died, my friends – spelling! But how much fun would we have if we couldn’t occasionally laugh at some of these ridiculous bloopers from the MLS and the local real estate ads? Some of these are worth donning a party hat:
Where the Bodies Lie… “Lvg newly planted” (RIP – Just like your listing.)
“Windows have plantations” (Let me guess…Keith Richards’ grow house?)
“Corn early” (Agricultural update provided by Chief Sitting Bull.)
“Beautiful craftmanshit” (…So it’s a pile of crap like your career?)
Decomposed and Deconstructed “Details from a bye gone era (Kiss your seller bye while … (34 comments)
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realtors: "Just got shine" - Boozin', Snoozin' & Losin' on the MLS - 05/11/12 10:28 AM
Hmmm… this week I couldn’t figure out if folks were dropping in, dropping out, or just dropping acid. The Blooper Scooper is back, my friends. Check out this week’s spectacular MLS gaffes:
Please Tell Me You Don’t Plan to Reproduce “Just got shine” (Guffawed the bootlegger as he pulled cousin Bubba out of the still.)
“High c’lings and interisting ankles” (Nonetheless, Jim, I think you could find a more flattering pair of high heels.)
“Large carpart” (Screamed the tourist upon his first encounter with the Hollywood freeway.)
“Kitchen w/ pass trough” (I’ll alert the cows.)
“Proberty has extra space” (So does … (20 comments)
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realtors: "Wife Installed" - Odd Features and Strange Creatures - The MLS - 04/20/12 11:38 AM
In spite of a recovering market, there was some subconscious hostility displayed in real estate this week, friends. Check out these Freudian bloopers I came across in local real estate ads and the MLS. Prozac anyone?
Flying High "Planes available" (Advertised Jet Blue after the general populace finally realized it's a suicidal airline.)
"Lots of mirres" (Did you notice the reflection of that stupid guy looking back at you?)
"Nice floor pans" (Uh, to improve the wok-way?)
"Killer view" (Said Inmate # 7 when asked why he wanted a room upgrade.)
"Peckaboo view" (Said Randy Rooster while peering at a hot hen … (40 comments)
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realtors: "One car grudge" - Hilarious MLS Backfires - 04/05/12 10:03 PM
The Blooper Scooper is back, folks, and this week’s picks demonstrate the beauty of the written turd. Uh, word. Thanks to Bruce Walter of West Lafayette for his hysterical contribution. Check out these absurdities if you want a few laughs:
Expect the Unexpected “Please compact me” (Last words of Jimmy Hoffa)
“Good desin” (So the exorcism was a success?)
“Fax or bail docs” (If I bail out a doc, can I get a free colonoscopy?)
“House with colorful accent” (Must be an Italian villa…)
“Watch the sun set over the buffs” (Gold’s Gym must be up for sale.)
When Ordinary … (30 comments)
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realtors: "In escargot" - Hasty 'n' Tasty MLS Bloopers - 03/30/12 04:26 PM
This was a week for great bloopers and auto-fill madness, folks. Thanks to Bruce Walter of West Lafayette, Indiana for his hilarious farmer contribution. Check out these MLS and real estate advertising funnies:
Dishing It Out "Will sell soot" (Proudly offered by Bert, The Chimney Sweep and his partner, Mary Poppins.)
"Farmers makeit every Tuesday" (Hence the term, "bump-her crop.".)
"Make this your nest cattle" (Word to the wise: If there's a cattle nest in your tree, don't sit under it without a really big hat.)
"Sophistication and crass" ( Sandra Bullock when she was with Jesse James?)
"Nice scaly rooms" (The … (30 comments)
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realtors: "Real germ" - The MLS Misspelling Plague - 03/23/12 09:45 AM
You can say toe-may-to, and I can say toe-mah-toe, but we both need to spell it properly unless we want to come off like morons, right? Well, you decide. The MLS apparently has come out with a new dictionary I didn’t know about: The MLS Garble Edition.
Read it and weep:
Now Trending… "Real germ” (Uh, pet name for your ex?)
“Retaining wall shited” (You would, too, if you were hanging onto a California hillside during a 6.7 shaker.)
“Recently samblasted” (A description of my home after my Uncle Sam eats cabbage.)
“Won bedroom” (What one is left with after a Hollywood divorce.)
“Hat property” (You … (34 comments)
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realtors: "Price just droppings" - Do-Do and Don'ts on the MLS - 03/09/12 10:16 AM
Cue the music: “You’ve got to ac-cen-tuate the positive, e-lim-inate…” Oh, where was I? Yes, waste on the MLS. Check out these hilarious bloopers that were wasted opportunities to advertise listings. Remember, friends: Spell and Sell!
Eliminate The Negative "Price just droppings" (From what I can see, your license has the same value.)
“Dumpers in driveway removed soon” (Anyone who takes a dump in my driveway will be ”removed” to the hood of my speeding car.)
“Buyers will tank you” (You just tanked yourself.)
“2 porches & mad room” (That expalins the padded walls.)
“Energy saber appliances” (Former home of Obi-Wan?)
“Seller wall … (58 comments)
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realtors: "Realy goose house" - Cooking Your Goose on the MLS - 03/01/12 11:58 PM
Are you cooking your own goose with your listing remarks? This week was a smorgasbord of blooper delights. Yes, real estate can be a pressure cooker, friends, but it seems these agents have offered themselves up as the first course:
Plug In The George Foreman "Realy goose house" (Let me guess - you'll bend over backwards for me?)
“Radiation heet” (Oh great - buy, fry, and die.)
“Flame retarded fabrics” (It seems the flames had the same effect on you.)
“Gas – landlords” (Then I'd advise you not to light a match near his arse.)
“Seller wants fist” (I’m not touching this one…)
“Divorce special” … (62 comments)
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realtors: "You will like a log" - MLS Gaffes and Laughs - 02/24/12 08:25 AM
The world of real estate has gone mad. The MLS had so many bloopers this past week that I’m convinced the winter slump has set in and brains are hibernating. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles and Fred Glick of Philadelphia for their great finds. Enjoy the fun, my friends:
You Snooze, You Lose “Very delirious home” (…And it seems you've been drinking the Cool-Aid.)
“Trembled marble” (You’d tremble, too, if you were laid out on a slab.)
“Submerge docs with FICOs” (Newsflash: Most FICO’s already went down the crapper.)
“Features tennis pools” (How desirable can wet balls really be?)
“Your … (32 comments)
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realtors: "Foe painting" - This Week's Colorful MLS Bloopers - 02/03/12 12:49 PM
As an experienced agent, I sometimes think I’ve seen everything, but when I read the remarks below, I realized I have so much to learn. For instance, how does one get enough pate for a road? Or enough figs to make drapes? And why would one shag on a roof? Read these bloopers, and then maybe you can explain it all to me:
A Leg Up On Things “Leg in for details” (Oh yay – we’re doing the Hokey-Pokey!)
“Custom figged drapes” (How do you get the little fig seeds into the fabric?)
“Road just pated” (Hence the expression, “What am I … (106 comments)
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realtors: "Bald touches" - Are Your Listing Remarks Missing by a Hair? - 01/27/12 02:39 AM
Yes, it's Friday, and the Blooper Scooper is back. When you see some of the gaffes I found this week, you may want to shave your own head in protest. Check out these hysterical faux pas, friends:
Please tell me it’s a joke… “Park at Kim’s Wart” ( Uh, not so fast - is there a hair growing out of it?)
“Blow-up sale” (Did this occur before or after you blew up your career?)”
“Electriiciity now on” (My gut says you tested the outlets with a fork.)
“Key hidden under matt” (I can only imagine where Matt’s keyhole is…)
“Dont hasittate” (Don’t drink Nyquil.)
Please tell … (43 comments)
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realtors: "Fumbled marble" - Do Your Listing Remarks Reflect Your Life? - 01/20/12 02:55 PM
The year is rolling along at the speed of idiots! Check out these bloopers from the MLS and real estate ads, and I’m sure I’ll get no argument. Jane Peters of Los Angeles and Michael Jacobs of Pasadena both found some great bloopers this week. I suspect this year will be a wild ride, folks!
Fumble, Bumble and Stumble “Fumbled marble adores baths” (Fumbled agent adores martinis.)
“Somother work to be done” (Say good-bye to the mother-in-law.)
“Formal dinging room” (Shag carpet, I presume?)
“Will maul your directly” (Said Sean Penn just before he took out two paparazzi.)
“Processing pee” (For those who … (33 comments)
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realtors: "Show and swell" - Bloated MLS Bloopers - 12/08/11 10:12 PM
Friends, the MLS was rife with strange spelling and phrasing this week. Our local newspaper ads also gave the MLS some great competition. Are we all just tired after a year in the trenches? Or are there a lot of block heads walking around out there? You decide:
November Potpourri "Ask about growth" (Okay. What's that large knob on your forehead?)
"Set among oats" (Enticing... if you're a horse named Mr. Ed.)
"Doubt resistant landscaping" (Unlike your career...)
"Comes with hoe warrant" (Thank you, you tool.)
"This will pleasure buyer" (Uh, that's illegal in most states, pal.)
Doctor NO "Attack docs" … (45 comments)
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realtors: “Dull Viking ovens” - Do your MLS remarks have the right spark? - 11/18/11 02:27 PM
The year is starting a march toward its natural ending, friends…and it seems a few real estate careers may be also. This week I found some real head-scratchers in local real estate ads and the MLS. However, I get submissions from all over the U.S., so no one is safe from the eyes of the Blooper Scooper. Check out these blunders:
Do You Smell Smoke? “House has spark” (Apparently your real estate career isn’t the only thing going up in smoke.)
“Big pep area in kitchen” (Is that the cookie jar where Mommy Dearest stashes her uppers?)
“Dull Viking ovens” (Methinks there’s something in the cookie jar that will … (56 comments)
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realtors: “Ass is” - Are Your MLS Bloopers Self-Descriptive? - 11/11/11 02:10 PM
Fall is here, and as the leaves take on brilliant color, so does the MLS. Check out this week’s rash of bloopers, friends. Most of these remarks tell us more about the agent than the property. Thanks to Greg Cooper of Indianapolis, Jane Peters of Los Angeles, Margaret Goss of Winnetka, IL and Patty Da Silva of Davie, Florida for their great contributions. Nincompoops are nationwide!
Is This Your Bio? “Ass is” (As ass does?)
“Beautiful arched widows” (Wow – that’s gotta hurt…)
“No bank owe” (Uh, bank owe bigtime to U.S. taxpayers, pal.)
“Agetn Remarsk” (That’s hard to say with … (38 comments)
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realtors: "Seller will include ether" - Listing Remarks from the Comatose - 11/04/11 03:20 PM
I just love auto-fill! It practically writes my blooper posts for me. This week’s listings included such amenities as ether, pizzas, and even a mail-order librarian. Check out this week’s colorful fare:
Slap and Tickle “Just hit marget” (I’d prefer to slap you, dufis.)
“100.0% down” (One more face in a bowl of bar nuts.)
“Seller will include ether” (I would think a doobie might suffice.)
“Just planted flor” (‘Just issued an APB for Flor’s husband…)
“Beautiful imported wood-paneled librarian” (Her stacks must be something to behold!)
Talk To Me Gently “Coffee and sandswishes” (Swishing is usually paired with sequins and a domineering mother.)
“Glazed tiles accent buth” (Glazed eyes accent … (30 comments)
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realtors: "Steaks mark line" - Where's the Beef? (MLS Blunders) - 10/07/11 11:56 AM
Well, you can tell it's getting close to Halloween - there was a freak show on the MLS this week. From green pudding to fat pads, there was some serious weirdness going on! Thanks to Sandra Matthewson for her great contribution. Remember, friends, “Those who are sage proofread a page.”
It’s Party Time! "Haunch served" (Do I get Chianti and fava beans with that?)
“Need proof of funs” (How ‘bout a party hat and a martini shaker?)
“House numbers on grass” (I suspect the agent is on grass, too.)
“Water hater – needs replacement” (Personally, I like to replace my … (30 comments)
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realtors: "Multiple tourists" - The Blooper Sightseeing Bus - 09/30/11 03:07 PM
When was the last time you saw a tourist in your back yard...or a horse head on your street? This week the Blooper Scooper picked up some beauties, friends. Some of these goofs are baffling, but I think we owe Auto-fill a lot of credit for that. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for her great find. Spell well and sell well, folks!
The Tour Is About To Begin “Backyard has multiple tourists” (Another Hollywood tour bus veered off course.)
“New mane to street” (Thank you, Vito Corleone.)
“Furnished least by Oct 1″ (Offered by We-Steal-Your-Stuff Realty)
“Dome vacancies” (Is the dome that … (31 comments)
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realtors: "Grate Views" - Grating Bloopers from the Blooper Scooper - 09/23/11 02:18 PM
From cheese to sleaze, the MLS and the local real estate ads across the country were full of bloopers this week. Thanks to Jane Peters, Dick Beals and Patrick Martin for their hysterical contributions. Read ‘em and weep:
It’s a Matter of Fact “Grate views” (I assume that cutting the cheese is your specialty...)
“Lots of tees in back” (Lots of golf balls in pool.)
“Good build” (Is this a house or Matthew McConaughey?)
“Roof peeked at top” (IQ peaked at 80.)
“Ugli fixer but rooms in tack” (Perhaps that will make up for your lack of same…)
It’s a Matter of Perspective … (29 comments)
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realtors: "Drip in" - Agents Running Amuck on the MLS - 09/16/11 02:57 PM
I’m beginning to wonder if some of the typos I find on the MLS and in open house ads are intentional, folks. Apparently some agents will promise anything to fill their open houses and to sell their properties. Check out the comments below. There just can’t be that much booze in this world… You guessed it – it’s Blooper Friday, friends:
Peculiar Open Houses “Drip in between 2-5″ (I’ll alert AARP - many of us have leaking problems.)
“Bring the kiss for fun” (Only if you bring your wallet for dinner.)
“Wine and chest served” (Another party guaranteed to leave lasting mammaries…)
“Join us … (68 comments)
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Gwen Banta
Los Angeles,
CA
More about me…
Sotheby's International Realty
Address: 9255 Sunset Blvd, Mezzanine, West Hollywood, CA, 90069
Office Phone: (310) 205-0305 x 140
Cell Phone: (323) 252-1700
Email Me
A very humorous Blog that highlights gaffes from the MLS and real estate ad bloopers.
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