sherlock of homes: “Big poach for leisure” - Listing Remarks That Laid An Egg
- 04/04/13 05:28 PM
TGIF! Yes, it's Friday, and I'm b-a-a-a-ack. The blooper scooper picked up some hilarious bloopers this week, friends. From sins to insurgents, this was a colorful week for real estate property listings. Check out these memorable gaffes:
When Less is More “No dogs insides” (Bragged Wan Lo Wang about his restaurant menu.)
“Come in – get worm” (Warning to those who eat at Wan Lo Wang’s. )
“Electric walk in kitchen” (That explains the ”stir-fried feet” on Wan Lo Wang’s menu.)
“Big poach for leisure” (Newsflash to Wan Lo Wang: It’s hard to relax when you’re up to your a_ _ … (64 comments)
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sherlock of homes: “Beautiful craftmanshit” - The Straight Poop About MLS Bloopers
- 05/24/12 04:06 AM
Something in America has died, my friends – spelling! But how much fun would we have if we couldn’t occasionally laugh at some of these ridiculous bloopers from the MLS and the local real estate ads? Some of these are worth donning a party hat:
Where the Bodies Lie… “Lvg newly planted” (RIP – Just like your listing.)
“Windows have plantations” (Let me guess…Keith Richards’ grow house?)
“Corn early” (Agricultural update provided by Chief Sitting Bull.)
“Beautiful craftmanshit” (…So it’s a pile of crap like your career?)
Decomposed and Deconstructed “Details from a bye gone era (Kiss your seller bye while … (34 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "High cop rate" - MLS Highs and Lows
- 04/12/12 05:15 PM
Reading the MLS and local real estate ads is like reading the comics. I just wish I were artistic enough to accompany these bloopers with cartoon drawings. Thanks to Vicki Moore of San Mateo for her great contribution. Visualize these hilarious gaffes in a comic strip:
Resident President “Set a president” (Set him where – on my mantle?)
“Lots of cass” (The reason the Mamas and the Papas traveled in an extra wide van.)
“AA good house – needs your touches” (Celebrity Rehab Rehab.)
“Microwake” (The time between when you hit the snooze button and “Oh-sh_t-I’ve-overslept-again!”)
“Studio with walking closet” … (30 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "In escargot" - Hasty 'n' Tasty MLS Bloopers
- 03/30/12 09:26 AM
This was a week for great bloopers and auto-fill madness, folks. Thanks to Bruce Walter of West Lafayette, Indiana for his hilarious farmer contribution. Check out these MLS and real estate advertising funnies:
Dishing It Out "Will sell soot" (Proudly offered by Bert, The Chimney Sweep and his partner, Mary Poppins.)
"Farmers makeit every Tuesday" (Hence the term, "bump-her crop.".)
"Make this your nest cattle" (Word to the wise: If there's a cattle nest in your tree, don't sit under it without a really big hat.)
"Sophistication and crass" ( Sandra Bullock when she was with Jesse James?)
"Nice scaly rooms" (The … (30 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "Real germ" - The MLS Misspelling Plague
- 03/23/12 02:45 AM
You can say toe-may-to, and I can say toe-mah-toe, but we both need to spell it properly unless we want to come off like morons, right? Well, you decide. The MLS apparently has come out with a new dictionary I didn’t know about: The MLS Garble Edition.
Read it and weep:
Now Trending… "Real germ” (Uh, pet name for your ex?)
“Retaining wall shited” (You would, too, if you were hanging onto a California hillside during a 6.7 shaker.)
“Recently samblasted” (A description of my home after my Uncle Sam eats cabbage.)
“Won bedroom” (What one is left with after a Hollywood divorce.)
“Hat property” (You … (34 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "You will like a log" - MLS Gaffes and Laughs
- 02/24/12 12:25 AM
The world of real estate has gone mad. The MLS had so many bloopers this past week that I’m convinced the winter slump has set in and brains are hibernating. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles and Fred Glick of Philadelphia for their great finds. Enjoy the fun, my friends:
You Snooze, You Lose “Very delirious home” (…And it seems you've been drinking the Cool-Aid.)
“Trembled marble” (You’d tremble, too, if you were laid out on a slab.)
“Submerge docs with FICOs” (Newsflash: Most FICO’s already went down the crapper.)
“Features tennis pools” (How desirable can wet balls really be?)
“Your … (32 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "Asphalt roll" - Are You Steam-Rolling Your Own MLS Listings?
- 02/17/12 02:39 AM
Is it any wonder I drink, folks? From beef to bull, this week’s MLS bloopers left me in tears. Thanks to Ben Goheen, Patty DaSilva and Jane Peters for their hysterical contributions. It’s nice to know that not all the crazies live in L.A. Check these out:
Out and About “Sellers mooed out” (They probably had a beef about something…)
“Preview only for out agents” (Offered by Barney Frank Realty.)
“Bank REO – sumbit with buyers’ credenza” (I would if I knew how to squeeze a credenza into a fax machine.)
“Pans for bedroom” (Welcome to Sunset Acres Nursing Home.)
“Asphalt roll … (40 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "On steep hell" - MLS Bloopers - An Assessment of Your Career?
- 02/10/12 05:48 AM
I am all for having a martini or two, folks. Maybe even three if it’s at least 10:00 AM. (I have my standards, you know.) However, I do draw the line at drinking and typing. It seems the MLS is going to hell in a hand basket. Read these real estate bloopers and tell me if you agree that there should be a breathalyzer test for fingers:
Corn Squeezins = Loss of Reason “Pone found at open house” (Proudly ofered by Alabama Al and his Cornbread Combo.)
“Seller says he’s don” (That explains the horse’s head in your bed.)
“New studdo in back” (New bottle … (72 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "Foe painting" - This Week's Colorful MLS Bloopers
- 02/03/12 04:49 AM
As an experienced agent, I sometimes think I’ve seen everything, but when I read the remarks below, I realized I have so much to learn. For instance, how does one get enough pate for a road? Or enough figs to make drapes? And why would one shag on a roof? Read these bloopers, and then maybe you can explain it all to me:
A Leg Up On Things “Leg in for details” (Oh yay – we’re doing the Hokey-Pokey!)
“Custom figged drapes” (How do you get the little fig seeds into the fabric?)
“Road just pated” (Hence the expression, “What am I … (106 comments)
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sherlock of homes: Exciting Premiere - Final Date Set!
- 02/01/12 03:29 PM
Hi Friends, My daughter Kristin's show, "The Ringleader," has had a date change. It has been scheduled to air as a Valentine's Special on Tuesday, FEB 14 - BRAVO at 7:00 pm! Please tune in and pass the word. She is beautiful, funny, smart, quirky-as-hell, and oh-so-talented...even beyond my maternal bias. Staying tuned in will bump the ratings, so if you hate it, please leave it on while you shower, shave, nap, go on safari, etc. I appreciate your support so very much. Official Bravo Press Release Below:
“The Ring Leader" Premieres At 7pm ET/PT New York – February 1, 2012 – Cupid’s arrow … (29 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "Bald touches" - Are Your Listing Remarks Missing by a Hair?
- 01/26/12 06:39 PM
Yes, it's Friday, and the Blooper Scooper is back. When you see some of the gaffes I found this week, you may want to shave your own head in protest. Check out these hysterical faux pas, friends:
Please tell me it’s a joke… “Park at Kim’s Wart” ( Uh, not so fast - is there a hair growing out of it?)
“Blow-up sale” (Did this occur before or after you blew up your career?)”
“Electriiciity now on” (My gut says you tested the outlets with a fork.)
“Key hidden under matt” (I can only imagine where Matt’s keyhole is…)
“Dont hasittate” (Don’t drink Nyquil.)
Please tell … (43 comments)
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sherlock of homes: ANNOUNCING SOMETHING EXCITING! - (DATE CHANGE)
- 01/26/12 08:14 AM
Hi Dear Friends - For all of my kind supporters, please note that the date for my daughter's premiere (see original blog below) has been changed; THE RINGLEADER - BRAVO - FRIDAY FEB 10 - 9 or 10 pm. Please check schedule, as the time has not been confirmed - it will follow Millionaire Matchmaker. PLEASE TUNE IN AND BOOST THE RATINGS. Much gratitude from her proud mama.
KRISTIN BANTA IS "THE RINGLEADER"
Premieres Monday, February 27 at 10pm ET/PT on BRAVO
Follows larger than life wedding planner, KRISTIN BANTA, whose out-of-the-box style is revolutionizing the way couples look at their special … (17 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "Fumbled marble" - Do Your Listing Remarks Reflect Your Life?
- 01/20/12 06:55 AM
The year is rolling along at the speed of idiots! Check out these bloopers from the MLS and real estate ads, and I’m sure I’ll get no argument. Jane Peters of Los Angeles and Michael Jacobs of Pasadena both found some great bloopers this week. I suspect this year will be a wild ride, folks!
Fumble, Bumble and Stumble “Fumbled marble adores baths” (Fumbled agent adores martinis.)
“Somother work to be done” (Say good-bye to the mother-in-law.)
“Formal dinging room” (Shag carpet, I presume?)
“Will maul your directly” (Said Sean Penn just before he took out two paparazzi.)
“Processing pee” (For those who … (33 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "Expel the best" - How to Blow a Career with MLS Bloopers
- 01/14/12 05:08 AM
Something may have been rotten in the State of Denmark, but the MLS isn’t smelling much better. Check out these stinkers and clinkers from the MLS and other real estate ads if you’re in the mood for a few giggles:
Something Seems Amiss… “One moth incentive” (Do you wave wool sweaters before their little eyes?)
“Come see a good hose” (All I see is a dumb hoser.)
“This yer special” (Aww, yer special, too… in a really slow kind of way.)
“Ice cram served” (That’s even too kinky for me…and I live in L.A.!)
“$10k bonus to close end” (Have you tried the “ice … (39 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "THE RING LEADER" - Check This Out!
- 01/11/12 02:55 PM
ANNOUNCING SOMETHING EXCITING!!!!
“The Ring Leader”
Premieres Monday, February 27 at 10pm ET/PT on BRAVO
Follows larger than life wedding planner, KRISTIN BANTA, whose out-of-the-box style is revolutionizing the way couples look at their special day.
Hip, hysterical, and artistic beyond the limits of imagination.
Yes, friends, she's my darling daughter, so forgive a mother's pride...and please tune in. She's beautiful, hysterical, and soooo talented. No, none of it came from me - I just popped her out and raised her on martinis, the Stones, and John Irving. Okay, maybe it was I who was drinking the martinis. I can't … (35 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "Ring hell" - Ringing in the Year with MLS Mayhem
- 01/06/12 05:21 AM
Happy New Year, friends. This year is starting out with as much laughter as we ended with in 2011 when buyers flocked “like bees to hiney.” (Please see the 2011 Dufis Award in my last post.) The following bloopers will prove that nothing much has changed regarding MLS giggles and goofs. Check out these gaffes to start your year with some hearty laughs:
One Too Many "Ring hell" (You mean New Jersey?)
“Mable on floor” (Apparently Mable is running a tab…)
“Start the year with a bung” (No thanks, I already divorced one of those.)
“Come for Thai launch” (I didn’t know a … (44 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "Snort Sale" - The "Highs" and Lows of the MLS - 2011
- 12/22/11 06:00 PM
Well friends, this is my last blooper post of the year, and I still have not run out of material. I don’t know whether to thank these hapless agents or to flog them. At the very least, Perhaps I should commend them for sending us off into 2012 with a lot of laughter. Enjoy these bloopers, and have a Happy New Year everyone!
For Those With Hang-Ups “Kitch with breakfast hook” (Heehaw - hook ‘em, book ‘em and cook ‘em!)
“Indescribable wildlift” (How are those diet pills workin’ out for ya, sweetie?)
“Bif gym fully equipped” (Who’s more fully equipped – Bif or … (77 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "Charmin...home" - MLS Remarks That Can Wipe Out A Career
- 12/15/11 05:36 PM
From blundering fools to complete tools, the bloopers on the MLS were hysterical this week, friends. I received some great contributions from John M. Scott of beautiful San Francisco, Jane Peters from right here in our beloved L.A., and Bruce Walter from the great Hoosier State of Indiana. Enjoy the the goofs, and have a wonderful holiday, everyone!
First the Fools… “Large fool” (Is that the slogan on your business card?)
“Three badrooms” (Two turtle doves and an agent in an i-di-ot tree.)
“Small lender” (That politically incorrect - I believe they are called elves…)
“Parka in living room” (Eskimo in the hot tub?)
“It has a spa … (52 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "Show and swell" - Bloated MLS Bloopers
- 12/08/11 02:12 PM
Friends, the MLS was rife with strange spelling and phrasing this week. Our local newspaper ads also gave the MLS some great competition. Are we all just tired after a year in the trenches? Or are there a lot of block heads walking around out there? You decide:
November Potpourri "Ask about growth" (Okay. What's that large knob on your forehead?)
"Set among oats" (Enticing... if you're a horse named Mr. Ed.)
"Doubt resistant landscaping" (Unlike your career...)
"Comes with hoe warrant" (Thank you, you tool.)
"This will pleasure buyer" (Uh, that's illegal in most states, pal.)
Doctor NO "Attack docs" … (45 comments)
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sherlock of homes: "Ass for Margie" - MLS Comments Worthy of a Spanking
- 11/28/11 04:40 PM
What a week for bloopers! I know agents are worn out this time of year, but we all need to hit the spell check button or we may go down in infamy. Witness these blooper classics, friends:
Falling Behind? “Nice butt needs work” (My ex said that just before his butt hit the curb.)
“Reel Estate Experts” (Oh yeah? Have you met my client, Moby Dick?)
“Bank needs alms length agreement” (I’ll expect alms from a bank the day Amelia Earhart crash lands on my patio.)
“Need roof export” (Call Auntie Em-n-Toto House “Sails.”)
“Hollywood Real Estale Listings” (Are they as stale as your dwindling career?)
Picking up … (23 comments)
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TGIF! Yes, it's Friday, and I'm b-a-a-a-ack. The blooper scooper picked up some hilarious bloopers this week, friends. From sins to insurgents, this was a colorful week for real estate property listings. Check out these memorable gaffes:
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