I know you have been waiting for a joke blog from me for some time Mirela... here's a little something that's sure to offend someone...

John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama all die and go to heaven. God looks down from his throne and asks McCain, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?"

McCain takes a breath and then replies, "Well, I think so because I was a great leader and tried to follow the words in your great book." God looks down and then says, "You can sit to my left side."

So, McCain takes his seat and then God asks the same question to Hillary, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?" Hillary thinks for a second and then replies, "I think so because I have been fighting for the rights of so many people for so long." God again looks down and this time says, "You can sit to my right side."

Finally God turns to Barack Obama and asks, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?"

Obama smiled and replied, "I think you're in my seat."

Here are 10 useful words/terms which don't currently exist in the English language...maybe they should:

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus): Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun): Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to opening the other side.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt'): To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming that this will somehow "remove" all of the germs.

ELBONICS (el bon'iks): The actions of two people maneouvering for one armrest in a movie, on a plane, etc. 

UMFRIEND (um frend): A personal relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Kelly, my ... um ... friend."

XEROX SUBSIDY (zee rox sub sid ee): Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh): The affliction of dialling a phone number and forgetting whom you  were calling just as they answer.

TREEWARE (tree ware): Computer tech slang for documentation or other printed material that can't be read online or on a computer screen.

FOUR-O-FOUR (404): Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him; He's 404, man."

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun): The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even if you are only 6 inches away from it.

OHNOSECOND (ono sek ond): The fraction of a second it takes to realize you just made a big mistake on the computer. For example, clicking "No" when prompted to save the document you spent all day composing or, clicking "Send" before deleting the profanity you were venting with in the message to your boss.

"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal. But, boys and girls are not born the same.

1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.

2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you're driving there.

3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.

4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.

5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to tear off their appendages.

6. Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter-inch too short, girls would rather lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public.

7. Baby girls find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting their face. Baby boys find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting the walls.

8. If a girl accidentally burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidentally burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches.

9. Boys grow their fingernails long because because they're too lazy to cut them. Girls grow their fingernails long - not because they look nice - but because they can dig them into a boys arm.

10. Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.

11. By the age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses. By the age of 6, girls will stop giving their dad kisses unless he bribes them with candy.

12. Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make machine-gun noises.

13. Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you turn off the TV after they've watched "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie three times in a row.

And maybe most importantly:

14. Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.

I saw this one and couldn't help laughing (sometimes the simple ones are the best):

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar !"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No"

Duck says: "Got any bread?

When acting as a Buyers agent, I try to impress upon my clients the importance of being pre-qualified for a mortgage.  Imagine falling in love with your perfect home after searching for weeks, or even months, only to find out that you do not financially qualify to purchase it.

First, determine the costs associated with buying a home, including (but not limited to) legal fees, home inspections, deed transfer tax, fuel adjustments, etc.  These costs are generally about 3-5% of the purchase price of the home (for a more detailed list of closing costs, please see my blog "Closing Cost Guidelines for Buyers").  On top of these costs, you will need a down payment of at least 5% of the purchase price; it can be higher, depending on your lender.

Mortgages are given based on one of two methods: Gross Debt Service ratio (GDS) or Total Debt Service ratio (TDS).  GDS is generally 30 to 35% of your gross monthly income.  For example, if your household income is $90,000 annually, your gross monthly income is $7,500; this would qualify you to carry a mortgage of @ $2,250, including taxes.  Based on the same income, and accounting for other debt payments of $550 (eg. car/credit card payments), your TDS would be assessed at approximately $ 1,700.  Whichever method your lender uses, they will determine a dollar figure that they are confident you can repay comfortably.

Doing the math ahead of your home search will enable your real estate professional to target as  many properties as possible that suit your needs, and will help avoid disappointment when looking for a home.  The sooner you assess your limits, the closer you will be  to finding the home of your dreams

You  know, I have always looked at the world just a little bit differently than most; because of that, I usually question a lot of things that I see and hear.  The following are questions that have intrigued me at one time or another during my life:

 Have you ever wondered...

• if all the world is a stage, where is the heck is the audience sitting?
• how can a "slim chance" and a "fat chance" be the same, while a "wise man" and a "wise guy" are opposites?
• if Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?
• if 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean one person enjoys it?
• why they call it "common sense" when it's so rare?
• why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
• why two spaceships always face the right way up when they meet in Sci-Fi movies?
• what does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?
• that if the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
• why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
• if nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
• if maybe there should there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
• why is "verb" a noun?
• why there are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
• if quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can you quit while your ahead?
• if Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
• what hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
• why they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?  What are we supposed to do, write to these people?  Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
• how much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
• if it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
• what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
• if a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
• how come you don't ever hear about "gruntled" employees?
• whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
• why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
• if you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
• why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
• if it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
• what happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• why do psychics have to ask for your name?
• why lingerie is so popular if love is blind?

Other things to consider:

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Some of you may have noticed that I have been particularly quiet over the last two months, due to circumstances beyond my control.  My apologies to those of you whom have been loyal readers of my blogs, and also to those of you whom I have promised my support in the way of regular comments.

After a two-month absence from the Rain, I am happy to report that I have returned to active duty as a Blogger and Commenter.  My circumstances have not changed, but I refuse to allow something that cannot be changed affect how I live my life.  If I think about it, AR may actually help me through this time in my life by being the positive and encouraging atmosphere that I know it is. 

What changed my attitude?  Every year I set 100 goals for the improvement/enhancement of my life; this year was no exception.  I was reading over my list of goals tonight, and I came across the following two: 1) Write 50 AR blogs and 2) Submit 500 comments on other AR members blogs.  I had not remembered writing these goals, but when I saw them on the list, I realized how much this site has contributed to my mental well-being and my outlook on life.  I wish I had remembered this earlier...

Thanks again to all of my AR friends...looking forward to a great 2009!  The promised blog updates are on the way!

In light of all of the talk I am hearing about the market being "down" n Halifax, I thought I would look at what the CMHC reports are telling us.  Here's what I found:

NEW CONSTRUCTION: The overall pace of residential construction activity across Halifax is eased slightly this year, and is expected to finish with a total decline of 1.6% from last year.  It is expected that new construction sales will climb 4% in 2009, reaching its highest level since 2004, supported by multi-residential construction .  While the demand for single-detached homes is slowing, a trend which is expected to continue, the demand for multi-unit construction will continue to be strong for the next 1-1/2 to 2 years.

The decline in demand for new single-detached homes can be attributed to [mainly] three things:

1. Changing demographics: smaller families and rising occurrence of more DINKS (double income no kids) and single-person homes.
2. Rising costs: The cost of housing construction rose 14% when compared with 2006, while existing home sales rose only about 7% during the same period.
3. Competition from the existing homes market: Existing home sales are only expected to increase by about 3% in 2009, creating competition for the new homes market.

RESALE MARKET: Keeping in mind that 2007 was a record year for MLS(tm) sales, we saw a decline in overall sales in 2008; inventory was weakened by the record sales of 2007, driving prices up prices in the first quarter of this year.   2009 sales look to be lower than the record year of 2007, but still relatively high when compared to previous years; prices are expected to increase approximately 3% in 2009, keeping the average price of an existing home about 30% lower than the average price for a new home.  Increased inventory levels have helped keep growth below the 7-8% we have seen in previous years.

Overall, I think that while we are noticing that it is definitely slower, maybe we were just a bit "spoiled" by the successes of 2007.  We are still on target with previous years sales, prices are still increasing, and there is a good inventory available.  We traditionally see a slow-down at this time of year; this year shouldn't be, and isn't, any different.  We have one of the most stable markets in Canada; we should be thankful for that.

I admit that I don't know much about the stock market, but it seems to me that the time to invest is when it is down (as in "now"), in order to make a large return when the market recovers.  However, whenever I see a blog or news article about the current financial situation, the consensus seems to be that we get out of the market while the getting is good.  One would think that we had never seen bad times before; we all know that this is NOT the case, and that the economy has been in bad shape on previous occasions. 

History has also proven that the economy usually recovers in better shape than it started out in.  Consider that on:

October 19, 1987 (Black Monday), the DOW averge closing price was 1738.74 (Down 23%).  One year later it was up 23%; and it was up 54% the year following that.

August 7, 1990 (Five days after Iraq invaded Kuwait), the DOW averge closing price was 2710.64 (Down 10%).  One year later it was up 12%; and it was up 23% the year following that.

April 19, 1994 (Rising Interest rates in the USA), the DOW averge closing price was 3619.82 (Down 23%).  One year later it was up 16%; and it was up 53% the year following that.

August 31, 1998 (Five days following the collapse of the Russian Ruble), the DOW averge closing price was 7539.07 (Down 19%).  One year later it was up 44%; and it was up 49% the year following that.

March 11, 2003 (US Invasion of Iraq imminent), the DOW averge closing price was 7524.06 (Down 36%).  One year later it was up 35%; and it was up 43% the year following that.

Armed with this knowledge, I feel positive that it is a good time to invest...but then again, I have already admitted that I am not a financial guru.  There are many people out there who are wondering the same thing.  So, my question is:

Should we be bailing out of todays market, or is there an opportunity here that we should be seizing? 

With witches, ghosts, goblins, and super-heroes descending on neighborhoods across North America, I would like to offer some safety tips to help prepare for a safe and enjoyable Hallowe'en: 

Costumes

1. Make sure your child can be seen in the dark. Plan costumes that are bright and reflective. Consider adding reflective tape/striping and/or chemical light-sticks to costumes and for greater visibility.
2. Remember to put reflective tape on trick-or-treat bags, bikes, skateboards and brooms, too!
3. Make sure that costumes are loose enough to be worn over warm clothing but not so baggy or long that trick or treaters can trip over their costumes or make contact with flame.
4. Changing the colour of your eyes with cosmetic contact lenses: these cosmetic lenses should be used only under the supervision of an eye-care professional. In addition, wear time should be limited to the shortest duration possible. If you should choose to wear these lenses, be certain that they are cleaned properly.
5. Think twice before using simulated knives, guns or swords. If such props must be used, be certain they do not appear too authentic and are soft and flexible to prevent injury.
6. Secure emergency identification (name, phone #) discreetly within Halloween attire or on a bracelet.
7. Equip yourself and/or your children with a flashlight, to see better and to be better seen. Don't forget to buy and install fresh batteries!

Trick-or-Treating

1. Openly discuss appropriate and inappropriate behavior at Halloween time with your children.
2. Ideally, young children of any age should be accompanied by an adult. If your children go on their own, be sure they wear a watch, preferably one that can be read in the dark.
3. Review with your children the principle of "Stop-Drop-Roll", should their clothes catch on fire.
4. Explain to children that visits should be made along one side of the street first, then the other and that it's best to cross the street at intersections or crosswalks. Remind children to walk, not run; they should also obey traffic signals. If there is no sidewalk, children should walk on the left side of the road facing traffic
5. Remind children to look both ways before crossing the street to check for cars, trucks and low-flying brooms.
6. To help prevent children avoid the temptation of snacking while they're out trick-or-treating, give them a snack or light meal before they go out - don't send them out on an empty stomach. Although tampering is rare, parents should take the time to inspect the goodies.
7. Children should stay in familiar neighbourhoods, and only in well-lit areas; they should only visit homes that have their outside porch lights on. Trick-or-treaters should NEVER go inside homes or cars of strangers, and should avoid houses that are not lit.
8. Children should avoid cutting across yards or driveways.
9. Remember to stay away from animals you don't know.
10. Children should carry quarters so they can call home. Teach children how call 9-1-1 (or their local emergency number) if they have an emergency or become lost. Remind them that 9-1-1 can be dialed free from any phone.
11. Older children should know where to reach you and when to be home.
12. You should know where they're going. Discuss where they will be going, and their intended route.

Help Make your Neighbourhood Safe for Trick-or-Treaters

1. Use extra care if you're driving on Hallowe'en. Children are excited and may forget safety rules. Pay extra attention to the road and enter and exit driveways slowly.
2. Make your home safe for trick-or-treaters. Remove all objects around the outside of your home that could cause children to trip or fall, such as ladders, dog leashes, hoses and flower pots. Turn your outside light on so children will know they can visit your home.
3. Small inexpensive flashlights can be used to light pumpkins safely.
4. If you are using candles, keep them out of children's reach and away from curtains and other objects that could catch fire.
5. Do not allow small children to carve pumpkins. Instead, let your child draw a face on the pumpkin.
6. Some Halloween treats may trigger allergic reactions in susceptible individuals.  Be aware of this when considering what you will be handing out.  Consider non-food treats such as pencils, stickers, erasers or coins.   Stickers, multicoloured pencils or beads can be a nice surprise in place or in addition to traditional treats. Ask your children what they think a good treat would be.
7. Decorating your home signals to other trick-or-treaters that your household is taking part in Halloween.
8. If you use candles to light your pumpkin, place the pumpkin well away from where trick-or-treaters will be walking or standing.
9. Make sure paper or cloth yard decorations won't be blown into a flaming candle.
10. Keep pets inside and away from trick-or-treaters and lit candles, especially if they are easily frightened or become over-excited in the presence of strangers.
11. If using decorative lights indoors or outdoors, use lights certified by a recognized organization such as the Canadian Standards Association (CSA). Check lights for broken or cracked sockets, frayed or bare wires or loose connections. Discard damaged sets. Do not overload extension cords.

WISHING EVERYONE A HAPPY AND SAFE HALLOWE'EN