Have many times have you “frigged” at work? - 07/31/11 06:25 AM
 
OK people don’t read anything into this.  It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a word on wordsmith and I figured for one day at least I should.  Now I will be the first to admit I do this and have done this often.  The meaning of (frig’ ed) to spend time idly, foolishly, etc.  Just thing about how much more you could accomplish if you didn’t do this.  My mind is at light speed all the time and I wonder if I could just slow down and examine what I’m doing and where I need to be how much more … (11 comments)

One tired puppy - 07/30/11 04:39 PM
 
I was watching the television today and saw this image.  As you can tell she was sound asleep.  For whatever reason when we try to take pictures of her she is afraid of the camera so she looks away and it’s difficult to get one. 


 
After I took the first picture it awoke her.  She looked at me and did not move so I took another one.  Have a good day.
 

… (12 comments)

Inspectors and (Inspectors) - 07/30/11 08:56 AM
 
Inspectors and (inspectors)
The other day we had a home inspection for a closing soon.  The inspector had a reputation as an honorable person so I was pleased to hear the clients had chosen him for the job.  The home was newer and should have had only a few minor problems.  When we got the report there was a host of minor issues but only three had my clients worried.
Well we agreed to let all the minor items pass and focused on three.  The first two were no problems but the last on concerning the (lintel) over the garage … (6 comments)

Married for 40 years - 07/29/11 07:38 AM
 
After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said .... "Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl. Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 63-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things." My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go … (17 comments)

Another golf one - 07/28/11 06:56 AM
 
Another golf one
… (10 comments)

Another Cajun Joke - 07/27/11 07:12 AM
 
Boudreaux say, "Man, Thibodeaux, I know just what to do. Give dat snake some Viagra."
 
Thibodeaux say, "What! Viagra! What's dat gonna do?"
 
Boudreaux say, "I was just listening to da radio and de man say dat Viagra is da best t'ing to use for a reptile dysfunction.
… (7 comments)

*The Green Thing* - 07/26/11 07:53 AM
 
              *The Green Thing*
 
 In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.
 
 The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."  The clerk responded, "*That's our problem today.  Your  generation did not care enough to save our environment."*
  He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.  Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent … (34 comments)

Aviator - 07/25/11 07:58 AM
 
ORIGIN OF THE WORD "AVIATOR" This explains it all. Aviators come from a long line of a secret society, formed around one thousand years ago. They are warriors, and here is the proof! Ground pounders can read it and weep! A little known fact is the origin of the word, "Aviator." In the immortal words of Johnny Carson: "I did not know that." Phu Khen (pronounced Foo Ken) 1169-? is considered by some to be the most under-recognized military officer in history. Many have never heard of his contributions to modern military warfare. The mission of this secret society is … (6 comments)

Pastor and the sermon - 07/24/11 08:55 AM
 
As the story goes a young pastor at finishing one of his sermons announced to the congregation this would be his last one.  He stated Jesus had spoken to him and we was moving on.  As soon as the last words got out of his mouth the choir director got up and announced “Let’s all sing “What a friend we have in Jesus”. 
Now I wonder when a client fires us do they rejoice as did the congregation?  What do you think?
… (5 comments)

Gentle thought for Today - 07/23/11 06:10 AM
 
… (16 comments)

Cajun and mushrooms - 07/22/11 07:14 AM
 
A group of Cajun friends from the New Ibeira wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The Boudreauxs was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Boudreaux and Maree to be the hosts - Maree wanted to outdo all the others.  So Maris decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But, mushrooms were very expensive. 
She then told her husband, Boudreaux, who said "Mais, no mushrooms. Dey are too high." 
Boo said, "Why don't you go down in duh pasture and pick some of dose wile mushrooms?
Dere are plenty in duh pasture." … (9 comments)

Blonde in the Bayou - 07/21/11 06:14 AM
 
Blonde in the Bayou A young blonde woman was driving through Southern Louisiana while on vacation.  She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!" The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a … (13 comments)

Wife's Diary: - 07/20/11 06:28 AM
 
Wife's Diary:
 
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
 
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset … (13 comments)

Investment Advice - 07/19/11 06:22 AM
 
Investment Advice If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today! If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today. But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund, you would have received $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & … (7 comments)

Another run on Texas - 07/18/11 06:55 AM
 
Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing some real problems.. They're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they are wearing T-shirts instead of their robes; there's barbecue and picante sauce all over everything, especially their T-shirts; their dogs are riding in the chariots and chasing the sheep. They are wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean, and their boots are marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom. There … (11 comments)

Interesting listing appointment - 07/17/11 07:28 AM
 
Interesting listing appointment…
I send out a letter to the expired listings I receive through our MLS.  It has proven to be successful in the past but for some reason I was in a slump.  I took the letter to my PB and with some adjustments I had a new letter. 
Anyway not long afterwards I received a call and showed up for a listing appointment.  I as a rule usually look around the home before we get to a comfortable place to talk about a number of things, like why they want to sell, motivation etc.  I had … (10 comments)

Cowboy and a bar - 07/16/11 06:18 AM
 
  A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado . … (12 comments)

Bits of wisdom part 2 - 07/15/11 06:05 AM
 
This is the last installment of wisdom that is until next time.  Enjoy Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and dignified woman, as in 'straight laced'. . Wore a tightly tied lace. ******* Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the 'Ace of Spades.'  To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren't 'playing with a full deck.' ******* Early politicians … (9 comments)

Socialism and evil men - 07/14/11 06:14 AM
 
"Socialism is a philosophy of failure,
 
the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy,
 
its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery...”
 
-- Winston Churchill
Evil men will triumph only when good men
Remain silent
Unknown
Train, retrain educate or die
Unknown
These are a few things I have got through emails or hearing it and I thought it was worth passing on.
Think about it have a good day.
 
 
… (12 comments)

Cowboy and Oatmeal - 07/13/11 06:03 AM
 
A TOUGH OLD COWBOY FROM  SOUTH TEXAS   COUNSELED HIS GRANDSON THAT IF HE WANTED TO LIVE A LONG LIFE, THE SECRET WAS TO SPRINKLE A PINCH OF GUN POWDER ON HIS OATMEAL EVERY MORNING. THE GRANDSON DID THIS RELIGIOUSLY TO THE AGE OF 103 WHEN HE DIED. HE LEFT BEHIND 14 CHILDREN, 30 GRANDCHILDREN, 45 GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, 25 GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, AND A 15-FOOT HOLE WHERE THE CREMATORIUM USED TO BE. 
 
 
 
Sorta brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
… (15 comments)

Old Dog - 07/11/11 02:02 PM
An old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young panther … (9 comments)

History Buff Part 1 - 07/10/11 06:43 AM
Here is a bit of  history buff in all of us. Here are some interesting tidbits that just maybe you didn't know. ******* In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either sculpted or painted.  Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms.  Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are 'limbs,' therefore painting them would cost the buyer more.. Hence … (12 comments)

10 Commandments - 07/09/11 05:58 AM
 
As the story goes a teacher was telling the class about the 10 Commandments.  As she went along she asked some of the students to relate how they would use it.  When the teacher got to the one about “Honor thy father and mother” she asked little Susie if she could think of a Commandment that she could relate to her brother and sister.  Without hesitation Susie said sure she could and said “Thy shall not kill”   who knows what one thinks about another person.  I know some will rejoice when I’m gone and some will not what about you?
… (5 comments)

Hotel Bill - 07/08/11 06:32 AM
 
                                      (This is too funny not to share)                                                    A married couple are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George.                           Being  Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to                           continue, … (8 comments)

What a doctor can and we can't - 07/07/11 05:43 AM
 
A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue ... 
 
Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes
 
home drunk he beats me to a pulp." Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home
 
drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in
 
your mouth but don't swallow.  Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes
 
to bed in his drunken stupor." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the … (13 comments)

First Time Sex - 07/06/11 06:25 AM
 
FIRST TIME SEX  
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.    Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.      The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy … (16 comments)

Spread the Stupidity - 07/05/11 07:32 AM
 
 
… (13 comments)

Vaseline - 07/04/11 06:17 AM
 
 
 
… (17 comments)

The directions said that: - 07/03/11 06:08 AM
 
The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;   a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and    a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' … (11 comments)

Boy and a puppy - 07/02/11 06:09 AM
 
A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy. "Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies." "Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money." The boy dropped … (11 comments)

Long read for me but worth it - 07/01/11 06:15 AM
 
 
… (10 comments)