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fun: Revving: A Necessary Man Thing - 04/22/08 06:16 AM
Yesterday I put up some shelves. I also punched some holes in the wall. I didn't use my fist, and there was no Tequila involved, although that would be more graceful than what I did, which is lean all my weight on the drill until it slipped off the head of the screw and crashed through the fragile membrane of our home. The first time I thought, "Wow, that's not good" in a sort of laugh-not-to-cry kind of acceptance. The second time I avoided crying by yelling and throwing a screwdriver. I think I'd be less affected if I hadn't made myself (7 comments)
fun: One Shining Moment, One Pitiful One - 04/09/08 12:38 PM
I watched the NCAA men's basketball championship. I'm happy for Kansas. As far as states go they deserve more credit. It's just too bad they don't play their games along I-70. Afterwards, I waited for one of the players to hurt themselves while cutting down the nets. An NBA career ruined. A free ladder for a lifetime of painting. I don't mean to be cruel, or doubt the tradition of taking part of the goal as a souvenir; it's just something I think to keep from crying. I must fortify my brain with the dark and sardonic. Somebody please throw on some Girls Gone (0 comments)
fun: Flawless $$$ - 04/09/08 11:33 AM
Demi Moore looks good. Her backless dress reveals a body made of rebar and tempered steel. Her graceful aging might only be trumped by her Flawless costar, Michael Caine. He just turned 75 and has appeared in every movie ever made. I have a feeling this won't be a big hit. It has some twists and turns that keep you interested, and Caine's old janitor comes with all kinds of surprises. But it's not a sexy romp with cool criminals like Oceans 11,12,13, or is a real intense thriller like some movie that one day might come to mind as an (2 comments)
fun: Shine a Light $$$$ - 04/09/08 11:30 AM
After finally winning an Academy Award, Martin Scorsese can direct something other than sprawling period movies and gangster films. Here he takes some cameras to a rock concert and, without Leo DiCaprio, could very well be up for more awards. Shine a Light is for true Stones fans. It's little more than a beautifully shot rock concert at New York City's Beacon theater. And it is beautiful. It's full of color and detail, and you'd think detail would be an enemy of a sweaty sixty-year-old man. But Scorsese somehow manages to make them watchable. Even Keith Richards, a man whose hair (3 comments)
It was also something used to torcher heretics of the Inquisition. There were no injuries, and Sarah liked the gift she got from her boys, but it didn't dawn on me the danger of a father/son bonding moment involving stabbing long, sharp sticks into a fruit until I was trying to drive with it in my lap. Everything is fine, but there were a few scary braking moments.
HOW TO MAKE A HAPPY APPLE: Ingredients 15 of your wife's favorite things 15 shish kabob sticks separated from a large wad left over from a summer (0 comments)
fun: In Bruges $$$$$ - 01/30/08 09:13 AM
This movie had me with Colin Farrell's line, "If I'd grown up on a farm and was retarded, Bruges might impress me, but I didn't, so it doesn't." From there Farrell gets more entertaining and this film just gets better. Although, Bruges, Belgium did impress me, so it could be that I'm very easy to please. I feel bad for writer/director Martin McDonagh. What's a guy to do when his first major movie is darn near perfect? Now I want to say he has it in him to do another just as brilliant, but I'd only say that the way a (3 comments)
fun: John Rambo $$$$ - 01/24/08 02:31 PM
Sylvester Stallone co-writes, directs, stars and inspires sextagenerians everywhere in a movie so violent and bloody, that it starts off disturbing, but ends up ridiculous. By ridiculous I mean that I'm having a hard time admitting that I got off on the anatomical yard sale left behind by Stallone and his fifty-caliber death spray. This Rambo makes all others look like Pee Wee adventures. It's Apocalypto with land mines. And Sylvester Stallone makes Barry Bonds look like Pee Wee baseball. If he peed in a cup blow out the bottom. The last Rambo I remember he was fighting Soviets with bin (7 comments)
fun: There Will Be Blood - 01/07/08 09:58 AM
Turns out there was a time when profiting from the dark bile pumped from the hellish depths of the earth didn't seem so Christian. Loosely based on the Upton Sinclair novel Oil!, the movie still carries the very Sinclairian tone that Christians aren't so Christian, and whatever little soul is left will be drilled and drained by somebody for something that is sure to be more about profit than prophets. The big story about this flick is Daniel Day-Lewis. He consumes the screen as Daniel Plainview, an authentic "Oil Man" who drops off the deep end in search of the black (5 comments)
fun: I Am Legend $$$$ - 12/18/07 07:50 AM
It's weird recommending a stressful situation. Like this movie, it's stressful. I'd never say, "Hey, if you want a good time then load the kids in the van and go for a rush hour fast food run!" But I would recommend this movie. But I gotta say that New York City looks pretty pleasant without people. Real Estate Agents and Brokers get Three Free Zips at MyREALTY.com. (1 comments)
fun: Alvin and the Chipmunks $$ - 12/18/07 07:03 AM
The good news: Jason Lee and David Cross are superbly cast as the much-maligned Dave "Aaaaalvin!" Seville and the Greedy Jett Record Executive, Uncle Ian, respectively. The bad: We are obsessed with butts. I cover that in the video below. Expose your assets, list and sell for FREE at MyREALTY.com. (2 comments)
fun: Juno $$$$ - 12/18/07 06:56 AM
Little Miss Sunshine got herself all growed up...and knocked up. That's not to say the young actress Abigail Breslin of Sunshine is in this movie, or pregnant. I'm just saying that Juno is this year's little movie that could. And it does. From Rainn Wilson's opening cameo as a wisecracking convenience store clerk, to the final shot in Vanessa Loring's (Jennifer Garner) overdone nursery, Juno delivers more entertainment than an entire fall season of TV. And since there are no more writers, let's throw in Spring, too. Juno is one of the most refreshing movies you'll ever see. A lot of (0 comments)
fun: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (Le Scaphandre et le papillon) $$$$$ - 12/18/07 06:51 AM
Be the butterfly. Be it now! I felt like an ass. Shortly before seeing this movie--quite possibly the best film of the year--I complained to Sarah that I did not have enough time to write a book. I'm too busy, I said, and then followed that excuse with, "And I think I need to find a kid who'll sell me his Adderall." Then I left the house and watched the true story of Jean Dominique-Bauby. At one point he represented the pinnacle of social and financial success. He was the snappy playboy who rose to the ranks of editor of Elle (1 comments)
fun: Atonement - 12/08/07 06:09 PM
Here's a quick way to make most everything that's come out so far this year look like complete rubbish. Atonement is brilliant. I could write and write about this film but then it's a pain to edit it down to the tiny space the newspaper allows me. It's so hard because I love all of my sentences. Even the fragments. If you've heard of this Ian McEwan novel then you are much cooler and smarter than me. I went to this movie not knowing a darn thing, and that may be the best way to go. I'll offer you just a (0 comments)
fun: The Golden Compass - 12/08/07 06:08 PM
The Golden Compass is the beginning of another movie trilogy. Trilogies are hot right now. Simply write three consecutive books, maybe instructional pamphlets on how to operate your oven, and Hollywood will buy the rights. Of course Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" literary trio aren't just any three books. They are a hotbed for controversy. Actually, some people just might consider them an instruction manual on how to overthrow the church. More on that in a bit. The Golden Compass, adapted from Northern Lights, the first of Pullman's "Dark Materials", isn't a bad movie. It's just not over-the-top-Lord-of-the-Rings fantastic. Nicole Kidman is (0 comments)
fun: Beowulf $$$, but because you must see it in 3-D, $$$$ - 11/16/07 04:39 PM
I review movies for a living. My radio and newspaper report is sponsored by the new multimedia portal for real estate professionals, MyREALTY.com. I post the recorded bi-weekly Showbiz Scene here, and I'll post some of the latest movie reviews for you on this blog. $$$$$ = Put down everything and drive to the nearest theater. $$$$ = You won’t regret paying for theater tickets. $$$ = Wait for DVD. $$ = Wait for someone else to get it on DVD. $ = Send a friend as a practical joke. This isn't your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, (0 comments)
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