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humor: Why Didn’t I Ever Grow Up? - 08/26/07 09:17 AM
(This post inspired by Sarah Cooper’s post: “When Did I Grow Up?”)
Although some who know me may disagree, this is NOT a post about failing to mature—but rather—why, oh why, was I more blessed with short genes than with tall genes? At my tallest (we DO shrink a bit with age—a gravity-thing I suspect—I’ve lost a half inch somewhere along the way—and I’d like it back!), I reached a towering 5’6”.
It’s Dad’s fault! He comes from a very looong line of short people, reaching an astounding height of 5’4”! Mom, the shortest of her siblings, was 5’4” as well—not … (16 comments)

humor: This eclectic collection of clutter on my desk keeps me sane? - 04/24/07 05:14 AM
I used my desk top only as a place to keep my computer monitor—there was little room of anything else. A year or so ago I purchased a flat-screen LCD monitor. I removed the humongous old monitor, exposing a vast prairie of empty desk-top—even after installing the new monitor—acres of clear desk-top were exposed. Wow! Acres & acres of clear desk-top!
Before placing the new monitor on the desk, I thoroughly dusted and polished the antique desk. Then I carefully placed the new monitor—just so—in the perfect location on that vast empty space for easy viewing, and very cagily routed the … (23 comments)

humor: Conversations in Front of our New Cyber Estate Office - 04/09/07 05:21 AM

 
 
 
 
 
On this fine, but still cool +25ºF Saint Paul morning, we have chosen to gather in front our brand new Cyber Estate Sales office—just down the (heavily reconstructed) block from our Cyber Café Conversations establishment, where the climate is a computer-controlled 72ºF & sunny.
Med & I had just grabbed our porcelain (porcelain, not China, but made in China) April Edition Codger Collectible™ Mug of organically & shade-grown, Fair Trade, Guatemalan Roast coffee, from the cyber café, and were making our way down the sidewalk towards our new “Cyber Estate Sales” building when we heard:
“HURRY UP Y’OLD GEEKS!” it was … (19 comments)

humor: Old Men & Cyber Codger-Lodges™—Part III (of an ongoing Serial Codger™ Cyber-Adventure)! - 04/04/07 05:32 AM
This episode of Old Men & Cyber Codger-Lodges™ is brought to you today by:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Our Real World Weather Report:
According to Pruett’s Pig Powders replica thermometer, it is 20ºF on Boomer’s back porch and according to my optically enhanced original equipment eyes, the sky is currently clear. There is also a dusting of snow on the ground!. Today’s forecast courtesy of the Weather Channel: “Cloudy and windy. Scattered snow showers this morning. High 32ºF. Winds NW at 20 to 30 mph. Chance of snow 30%. Winds could occasionally gust over 40 mph.” YIKES! I don’t need to tell you We’ll spend as … (23 comments)

humor: Old Men & Cyber Codger-Lodges™—an ODD Compulsion—The Story Continues! - 04/03/07 04:55 AM
This episode of Old Men & Cyber Codger-Lodges™ is brought to you today by:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Our Real World Weather Report:
According to Pruett’s Pig Powders replica thermometer, it is 38F on Boomer’s back porch and according to my optically enhanced original equipment eyes, the sky is currently clear. Today’s forecast courtesy of the Weather Channel: “Morning rain followed by a mix of rain and snow in the afternoon. High around 40ºF. Winds N at 15 to 25 mph. Chance of precip 80%. 1 to 3 inches of snow expected.” YUK! I’ll spend as much of my day as possible at the Cyber Codger … (16 comments)

humor: Old Men & Cyber Codger-Lodges™—Not Comin’ Back ‘til the Sun Shines & and an ODD Compulsion! - 04/02/07 05:34 AM
This episode of Old Men & Cyber Codger-Lodges™ is brought to you today by:
 
To View, Click on this image.
 
 
 
 
And now to The Codgers ™!

I spent a short time this morning in “RW*” Old Saint Paul, and found it to be a mild 42ºF with a mostly cloudy sky. The predicted high for today is near 55ºF, winds WNW at 5 to 10 mph, and the chance of rain about 40%.  And this is the best they predict for the week (by Wednesday, highs in the low 30s, lows in the mid 20s and a chance of…snow!).
Back to Cyber-World and … (16 comments)

humor: Reflections from my Driveway—an Old Friend Departs! - 03/27/07 06:18 AM
Yesterday it reached 81ºF, signaling a major change here in Old Saint Paul. The change was not limited to the weather—I sold my old ’52 Ford pick-up! My “friend” of nearly 55 years now belongs to someone else! I purchased it in January of 1953, drove it regularly for five years, and when I purchased a new car but I kept the truck, thinking it would be handy to have around—it was.
Yesterday, I retrieved “Hank” (for “Henry” Ford) as I do every spring, and drove it over to the café, after all, it was lunch time. As I was enjoying … (15 comments)

humor: Old Men & Coffee Shops, Tuesday Morning at the Cyber Café—Harold Quits Barbering - 03/20/07 04:11 AM
This fine Saint Paul Tuesday morning the old replica “Pruett’s Pig Powders” thermometer tells us it is +26ºF, with a light wind, making it feel like a brisk +20ºF, as we linger on the back porch a moment or two, enjoying our (January Edition) porcelain, not China (but made in China) Codger Collectible™ Mugs (have I mentioned the spiffy March Edition is still available?) full of hot organically & shade-grown, Fair Trade, French Roast coffee warms us and to jump-starts our remaining brain synapses into synapting, before making our way to the Cyber Café, and our waiting crew of Codgers.
… (19 comments)

humor: Cyber Café Conversations—HELP, we have “Blogger’s Block” this Morning! - 03/16/07 04:55 AM
As we said in a previous post, A Minnesota winter does not give up easily, and this morning on Boomer’s back porch, that fact is being made abundantly clear! The old replica “Pruett’s Pig Powders” thermometer informs that the temperature is a brisk +24ºF, and the wind on our faces tells us that it feels like—well—cold! I think Med & I will tarry here long enough to grab a mug (bet you thought I’d go into our usual spiel at this point—right?), just to warm us to our frigid fingertips, and to jump-start our remaining brain synapses into synapting, and then … (14 comments)

humor: Cyber Café Conversations—Molly IS the Decider! - 03/15/07 04:52 AM
As Medford and I stepped off Boomer’s back porch to walk over to the Cyber Café this morning, the old Pruett’s Pig Powders thermometer tells us that it is 33ºF this fine clear St. Paul morning. This past Tuesday we enjoyed beach-weather of 66ºF (absolutely shirt sleeve weather)!
We arrived at the café to find Molly calmly speaking to someone on the phone (Molly? Calm? And just why would a cyber café even need a phone?): “I’m sorry sir,” we overheard her say, “we already have a coffee supplier, and are quite happy with the service.”
She acknowledged our presence … (40 comments)

humor: ALL HAIL THE MINNESOTA BLOG QUEEN! BLOG QUEEN BONNIE I! - 02/18/07 05:41 AM
At 11:28 PM Saturday night Bonnie Erickson announced her right and proper ascension to the ROYAL THRONE as the QUEEN of MINNESOTA Active Rain Blogdom! Word spread quickly across the realm, and by midnight, the Codgers™ were each in turn, awakened from his slumber by the loud pronouncements of the Royal Town Crier.
An emergency meeting of the sleepy Codgers™ was called; and all in the cold darkness of a Minnesota winter night went to an undisclosed location—safe from the bolts of potato chip dregs that might be hurled by the Once and Former Blog-Queen of Minnesota, “Bloggoddessbroker” Teresa, from the … (15 comments)

humor: Reflections from Boomer’s Back Porch—top 10 reasons to read this Blog! - 02/08/07 05:41 AM
Good morning Gentle Reader. It is -6ºF (feels like -20ºF) this fine St. Paul morning on Boomer’s back porch.
Today we have a couple of things for you, the first being our new porcelain, not china or stoneware “Custom Codger Mug” available only until the end of this month, and from which we are enjoying organically and shade grown, fair trade, French-roast coffee. Medford, as is his disgusting habit, has polluted his coffee with cream & sugar.
 
 

On the left, January's mug, February's mug on the right.
 
 
 
 
 
The second, a little reinforcement for your visits to our Blog:
If “Carnac” can … (10 comments)

humor: GOOD FREAKING MORNING GENTLE READER, IT’S FREAKING COLD OUT HERE ON MY PORCH! - 02/05/07 05:57 AM
WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? I READ ARDELL’S FREAKING POST AND HER STYLE SEEMED TO HAVE RUBBED FREAKING OFF!
Well, she did evoke 111 comments. We’re all about comments. LOOK AT THE FREAKING NAME OF OUR BLOG: “CYBER CAFÉ & BACK PORCH CONVER-FREAKING-SATIONS!” Sorry—I can’t help myself.
Today we (the FREAKING (oops) Codgers) will likely post more than once (don’t fret, Blogging Bonnie, not THAT much), just to give our point total a jump. Consider this the first cut of an LP album, sometimes a gem may lurk in deeper cuts—or not!
I kinda liked that photo view of St. Paul taken from Mounds … (25 comments)

humor: Reflections from my Back Porch—Jay’s High-Anxiety Adventure in a new Digi-camera Purchase - 02/04/07 09:50 AM
First—for our friends of the temperate parts of the country—I don’t believe the temperature ever went above 0ºF yesterday, I’s hovering around -13ºF on my back porch this morning, with a relatively light (8mph) wind making it feel like -26ºF. Needless to say, I didn’t tarry long on the porch.
OK, so yesterday I set out to purchase a new digital camera. My needs are simple. I don’t wish to spend an obscene amount of money. It does not have to make phone calls. I don’t really need video. I rarely feel compelled to photograph at night. Zoom, panorama, close up … (18 comments)

humor: Old Men (and one young Woman) & Coffee Shops—Our most Blatant Case of Self-Promotion—Ever! - 12/31/06 09:12 AM

MEDFORD: “Today’s meeting of the ‘Old Men & Coffee Shops’ is taking place right NOW!”
JAY: “So, c’mon in, grab a chair by the front-plate-glass window, Molly will get you a china, not stoneware mug of organically & shade grown cup of (your choice of blends—we have ‘em all) coffee.”
MOLLY: “HURRY UP! I haven’t got all day—oh, that’s right Jay told me I DO have all day.”
JAY: “You’d better stay all day—Crawford, Texas still would like your presence.”
CARL: “Yesterday, Broker Bryant in his comments to our post, suggested we implant a ‘subliminal 5’ in our posts to suggest … (59 comments)

humor: Old Men & Coffee Shops—Molly Gets a Face!—and a Choice! - 12/30/06 05:48 AM
“YOU’RE LATE!” exclaimed my old new friend Molly (Cyber Café manager) as I entered the Cyber-Café for our Friday morning meeting of the coffee shop codgers, “The other opinionated old goats are already seated up front, by the front plate-glass window, with their china not stoneware mugs of organically & shade grown, fair trade, French Roast coffee.”
“Those are my lines!” I hollered back, with a little less of an outdoor voice, “You’re stepping all over my lines!”
“Oh go sit down,” she said as she turned away, “I’ll get your china not…”
“I’m going,” I interrupted, “and—we only use the … (24 comments)

humor: Reflections from my Back Porch on a Warm Thursday Morning - 12/21/06 05:27 AM
I can see the clouds approaching from the south, more ominous in the pre-dawn sky than what they actually represent. The main storm that hit Denver yesterday seems to be passing to the south of us. We remain unseasonably warm, and any snow we receive in the next couple of days will quickly turn to slush as the temperatures will remain above freezing.
[Full Disclosure—Copied & Pasted From “The Weather Channel”]
·  Today: Cloudy with rain and snow showers. High near 40F. Winds ENE at 10 to 15 mph. Chance of precip 60%.
·  Tonight: Periods of light wintry … (5 comments)

humor: Old Men & Coffee Shops: Continued Blatant Trolling for Comments on a Saturday Morning - 12/16/06 07:05 AM
Good Morning to you all, Gentle Readers! Medford and I have been working on our marketing plan for the codgers. Today we will give you an idea of what the regular crew of codgers look like—at least in caricature.

Top Row: Jay Merton & Medford Ambrose (both re-drawn).
Bottom Row: Carl McIntyre, Harold Peterson, & Fred Jaworski.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
We are also considering the formation of a new AR group: “Codger & Friends Conversations” a niche group where conversation is encouraged, opinions are welcome, and the coffee is always fresh. To encourage free conversation, we believe all posts to this … (21 comments)

humor: Old Men & Coffee Shops: Blatant Trolling for Comments or Active Rain Blog Marketing ? - 12/15/06 05:08 AM
I didn’t linger long on my back porch this morning as the boys were assembling early at the café today for our daily meeting. It seems they actually read our posts, and have some concerns about the blog.
“What is all this?” asked Harold the retired barber as I sat down at my usual place at out table, the one by the front plate-glass window, where during the summer months we might look out and comment on passers by.
“What’s all what?” I replied, answering his question with a question.
“This!” added Carl, the retired army sergeant-major, pointing at the screen … (11 comments)

humor: From my Back Porch: Where should Medford and I duck Winter in February? (a comment carnival) - 12/14/06 05:34 AM
Again this morning the temperature is hovering around the freezing mark, and it’s raining. This could cause some serious traffic problems during this morning’s rush. More importantly, to this codger anyway, it could cause some senior-sidewalk-slippage problems as I make my way to the morning meeting at the café!
This is Minnesota. This is December. In the Twin Cities the average high temp in December is +25ºF, low +10ºF with the mean temp at +18ºF, so I won’t complain about +32ºF on the 14th of December (but I will watch my step). I include the current weather conditions for the benefit … (24 comments)