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humor: Wow, a Year and a Half - 05/18/10 11:24 PM
I haven't been here in a year and a half! I hope I didn't leave something in the fridge with the electricity off. It would probably smell pretty bad by this point.
… (8 comments)
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humor: The Craigslist Version - 04/21/08 07:58 PM
I know, I know.
Some of you won't believe anything until you see it on Craigslist.
After all, what kind of broker would I be if I couldn't even afford twenty-five bucks to advertise for you on Craigslist?
So here you go, here's the ad on Craigslist.
You drive a hard bargain. That's precisely the kind of shrewd negotiator I'm looking for.
Is that fifty words yet?
… (9 comments)
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humor: Top Ten Rejected Real Estate Mottos - 11/16/07 08:54 PM
These may help you in your marketing efforts.
This list was reprinted by permission from the Roseville Real Estate Blog.Since I'm the author, of that blog, it was pretty easy to get permission. I asked myself if I could have permission, then I said "no" and so I said "pretty please!!" and then I relented.
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humor: Video: How to Sell a Home FAST In Any Market - 10/04/07 03:48 PM
This video shows how to get a home sold FAST in any market, and is appropriate for Realtors®, sellers, staging professionals, and others who want to ensure a fast sale in a down market, or an up market, or any kind of market in which there are houses.
Not only will you learn the secrets that professionals use to ensure a timely sale, you'll also hear a pleasant little tune that will be stuck in your head for days.
This video contains no animal products.
These techniques have been tested on four sided wooden homes. Other architectural styles may require the … (9 comments)
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humor: Real Estate Definitions that I Wish Were Funnier - 09/11/07 09:56 AM
Buyer. Noun. Person who thinks the home is worth $50,000 less than the price given by the comps.
Seller. Noun. Person who thinks a home is worth $50,000 more than the price given by the comps.
The comps. Noun. A record of transactions completed by buyers and sellers who have been market educated.
Market Educate. Verb. The process of having written or received one or more purchase agreements that are unacceptable to one of the parties and fall apart in negotiations.
Advertising. Noun. 1) Publications and other noise created by listing agents while waiting for sellers to reduce their price. 2) … (4 comments)
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humor: Known Universe Graphed. Inhabitants Unimpressed. - 07/11/07 11:27 PM
This evening Cameron Park real estate blogger and amateur cosmologist John Lockwood (I mean REALLY amateur) released his latest analysis of the universe as we know it, after extensive research. Also, this was after working on a long inspection of a house with electricity and trees, having a chat with Purva about the trolls, and having a really nice but somewhat expensive ultimate awesome iced mocha drink.
Please note that chart is an estimate only, and may not be perfectly to scale. Some of the smaller values have been inflated to allow them to appear on the chart.
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humor: Top Ten Rejected Real Estate Mottos - 06/06/07 03:42 PM
Real Estate Mottos Did you ever notice that Real Estate Agents always seem to have three important things?
Nice cars we may or may not be able to afford. Our pictures on our business cards. Some kind of motto that describes our business. Well, naturally I've noticed it, too -- hence my ability to point it out. Of course, if you saw my Honda Accord you wouldn't exactly accuse me of extravagance in the car department. But I used to have my picture on my business card. I even wore a tie. Nowadays I skip the photos.
But when … (0 comments)
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John Lockwood
Sacramento,
CA
More about me…
Lockwood Real Estate
Office Phone: (530) 672-9160
Email Me
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