humor: Putting Foot In Your Mouth Is Not Necessarily Yoga
- 08/04/14 08:36 AM
I once posted Professional Amateur.
We smiled at people, who call themselves “professional Realtor” and thought that they should have known better what NAR says about using the term REALTOR®…
I was reading the article in Inman News today, and to my surprise ran into this:
“This proposed [Zillow-Trulia] merger is clearly an important event for the industry and there are many unanswered questions — but one thing is clear — a highly skilled and professional Realtor is and will always be integral to the process of buying and selling real estate,” Wiskerchen said.”
If you do not know who … (60 comments)
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humor: Have A $345,000 Condom. Any Takers?
- 07/08/14 08:57 AM
I am not a young chicken any more, but the ad that I could buy a condom for $345,000 or rent for $8 per sq. ft. still sounded very intriguing.
I thought $345,000 was too steep for a condom, and rent sounded more appealing, but what are they measuring in sq. ft.?
It sure is a bit strange, but if it comes to really Big & Tall sizes, wouldn’t it be logical to measure condoms in linear feet? Can you rent a 3 sq. ft. condom? I am not sure why I need one, but for $24 it … (16 comments)
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humor: Why God Created MLS?
- 09/12/13 12:21 PM
Why G-d created MLS?
I think G-d in his infinite wisdom felt sorry for hard working real estate professionals. He knew that we often do not have time for a good book. So G-d figured that it wouldn’t be fair if Real Estate professionals would be deprived of at least a little bit of fun and G-d created MLS.
It was genius invention. It serves both serious stuff and funny stuff, so that we can get fun without switching to any other activity from Real Estate. If you read MLS every day, you can tell numerous funny stories. We all can.
… (18 comments)
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humor: Investing Three Bucks and Change... Any Takers?
- 09/01/13 01:42 AM
I am not making it up, it is an actual email I received. I simply copied it and placed here. I am fascinated by a combination strong desire to steal combined with total inability to think. Failing even to read and comprehend what you are sending. No, the crook simply got the text from someone else, and now is sending it to the world.
Dear 18ys of age,i have total amount of$3,2USD wth my late father Bank which i inherited from my father business,but due to some security problem facing my life i wish to seek your help in relocating … (10 comments)
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humor: Hi, I Am Bebra! And You?
- 06/13/13 04:17 PM
I am calling the Ear (ENT) doctor. The receptionist is asking for my last name. I am carefully spelling... Z as in Zebra and then other letters of my 6 –letter last name, which is Zolsky.
She comes back to me and calls me «Mr. Bolsky». Hmm....Z as in zebra makes it «B»!
I spell it to her again insisting on this freaking zebra thing.
Probably she needs an appointment with the doctor she works for.
Unless, of course, there are herds of striped bebras roaming the African plains.
Photo by I The Nick Page via Flickr.com
… (22 comments)
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humor: I Am a No Show, Thank You!
- 02/15/13 09:00 AM
Intersection of Silver Beach Ave. and Peninsula Dr. is where I am getting to a bridge from the Beachside to Mainland. It is one of our 7 bridges, but this one is close to me, and I use it often.
Every time I stop at the traffic light at this intersection, I see this sign "Hannah Cremation Services. Where quality exceeds cost" and every time I feel proud. It is such a positive message.
I feel proud for happy customers, who seem to enjoy the service, and who, obviously, do not complain. And why would they?
Besides excellent service, … (16 comments)
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humor: Introducing Short Purchase
- 02/07/13 12:30 PM
Have you ever dreamed (dreamt) of inventing a wheel (and patenting it)? Who hasn't dreamed about being hit with the idea and screaming «Eureka» of top of your lungs running around almost naked?
I think I had this ah-ha moment today (except for running around naked). I think I found the way to fix the housing market once and for all.
As we all know, the problem with the market is that the values change. You buy today, and tomorrow you are underwater. Or you do not buy today, and tomorrow you can't afford it.
When the values nosedive, we already found … (25 comments)
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humor: Should Obama Kill Bin Laden?
- 09/28/12 11:14 AM
Jeff Richards left the comment on my blog To Keep Your Mouth Shut? and there was a link, that I did not follow at first. I, however, followed it today and learned such fascinating stuff that I just could not resist the temptation to put it in a blog for you to check this absolutely hilarious YouTube Video. Watch it and you will learn what some Obama supporters said about their choices. You will learn what they think Obama should do when he catches Bin Laden, you will learn that people really do not care that Paul Ryan is black and … (39 comments)
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humor: And Dessert Was Delicious...
- 04/13/12 12:58 PM
I am coming from office home. 4.2 miles barefoot on the beach is not just an exercise, but a lot of fun.
It is getting darker when I get home, and my wife is in the kitchen and there is only under counter light on. Not much. I want to turn on the light, but she stops me and tells me I shouldn’t.
Why not? Because the roll-down curtains are up, and she is négligé. Hmm, I do not get the logic. If there is someone outside watching, why make them strain their eyes? I understand that she should shine, but … (10 comments)
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humor: Real Estate Hypertension...
- 01/29/12 03:44 PM
Real estate is not really a risky and dangerous occupation. But agents in Real Estate can suffer from certain illnesses. Some of them are the same, as in any other occupation, but some of them are real estate specific.
The trouble doctors have diagnosing them is that while they have the same common name, the anamnesis is different.
Take for example HYPERTENSION. In the rest of the world it describes high blood pressure.
Specifically to real estate it means too much tension because of too much hype…
The cure? Less hype, less tension.
It works..
;-}
… (6 comments)
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humor: Castrato Comandante?
- 01/21/12 06:27 PM
There is always a bigstory, and there is always a little story. When I look at what happened to this cruise ship, Costa Concordia, I know that there are so many sides to a big story, there is investigation, there are reports, there are versions, there will be interrogations, court, punishment, lawsuits…
And there is always a little story… I think this 25-y.o. Moldavian ballerina and another brunette might probably be this little story that first made a hole in this 52-y.o. captain’s brain, and this, in turn, brought to a hole in the cruise liner…
They say the industry … (3 comments)
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humor: ONE "UNIQUE" IDEA
- 12/23/11 04:06 PM
David, our friends’ son, bought this condo in Ossining (with the view of Hudson River and the infamous prison Sing-Sing), loved his unit but hated the idea that someone would come and take a unit above him.
Being a music fan (and who isn’t?), he came with a rather “unique” idea to make this second floor unit unattractive to buyers. He would turn his amplifier all the way, and that was supposed to be a deterrent to potential buyers.
Insulation wasn’t the best in the world, and I am sure that the music was sure heard in that second floor unit.
… (22 comments)
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humor: Too Many Binoculars
- 12/10/11 05:57 PM
I was on my computer and did not pay much attention to TV news, and then just heard that somebody came from one state to another to fight the nativity scene in the front yard. It reminded me that Russian story of a guy who called the authorities and complained that he couldn’t sleep because of his neighbor sex habits. Curious police came. They came to the window and did not see anything. - You are not gonna see it from here, get on this chest, then lean so that you can see that building down there on the … (31 comments)
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humor: Relativity Theory...
- 12/02/11 04:54 PM
We are taking 2 days of our quite busy schedule to go south. There is Art Basel in Miami this weekend and this is a huge cultural annual event. We went there once for this event, but this was 4 years ago, so we are ready for a short fun and a long drive.
I had a warning from my car that there is a lamp malfunction. So, we are in the parking checking the lights and fluids before the drive to Miami.
My wife is in the driver’s seat, and she is turning on the light, and my son checks … (20 comments)
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humor: Screwing People is Hard Work. Don't be Lazy...
- 11/25/11 07:40 AM
This is a light (it is still a Holiday Season) wish to all screwers out there (I was told that there is no such word as «screwers» but I find it very unfortunate)
Here is an e-mail I received today:
Good Day You are a registered client ID-83624517593 Personal page Shestakova Sofya ID-8164847 First name: Sofya Surname: Shestakova Country: Belarus City: Orenburg Date of Birth: 11/09/1983 Height: 177 centimetres Weight: 47 kilograms Education: university Profession: designer Marital status: never married Good afternoon!
And there was nothing else. Just the link, which, I did not follow. Of course, I did not register for … (25 comments)
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humor: Un-Trivial Trivia
- 11/19/11 06:10 AM
I am sitting in my office and the maintenance guy walks in and asks me where I can write him a list of countries in Africa. I start writing, but then ask him what he wants. After all according to different sources there are 47 to 54 countries, and I won't remember all of them...
Somebody told him that there is a country, which has AK-47 on its flag. My first reaction is that this can't be true. Who in their sound mind would like to put AK on its flag?
I know Russian Flag, there is no AK.
But then … (13 comments)
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humor: Al-Kaeda in Antarctica?
- 11/15/11 06:56 PM
I am sitting in front of the TV, and they are showing our President and Australia’s PM holding a joint news conference in Australia, and there is a caption there on the screen saying “Agreement to Expand US military presence in Australia”.
Does it mean that Al Kaeda is secretly concentrating in Antarctica?
Of course, I am far from politics, but as far as I remember, Iran is not there, Afghanistan is not there, North Korea is not there, Russia is far…
Actually, they are all so far, that I start thinking that maybe we are simply looking for a place to … (10 comments)
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humor: It Was Fun To Tell Him To Resign... You Can Do It, Too... And Get 500 Points...
- 11/15/11 02:14 PM
Got home and after dinner got in my armchair, which is my evening office. With the Mac on, I am ready for AR business. And the first blog on the subscriber list is Nikesh Parekh’s reblog of AR official blog Is Your Market Going to Be Hot or Not in 2012?
It is about predictions for 2012. Of course, it would be so much easier to make predictions for year 2050, than for 2012, as 2012 is coming soon, and not everyone is forgetful like me, so it would be difficult not to look like an idiot and to blush in … (23 comments)
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humor: Best Way To Clean Your Laptop
- 11/12/11 02:20 AM
"A clean home is the sign of a broken computer"
Hugh Krone left this comment on my post Power of No Power
This is a very funny comment. Now I know that cleanliness of our homes is part of electronics. Well, life is changing, and definitions are changing as well.
I know so many people with perfectly working computers. Does not matter whether PCs or Macs.
In our home, it seems, though, that my wife's computer is always broken. But mine works wonders.
Of course, it is now a Mac...
;-)
P.S. So, how to clean a laptop?
Hmmm... how … (13 comments)
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humor: A Wolf and A Sheep. A Real Estate Fable…
- 10/09/11 04:58 PM
There was a discussion on AR about BBAs (How Tight Are Buyers' Shoes?), and quite a number of Wolves insisted that BBA is a benefit to the Sheep. I gave a very specific scenario (very real) where Sheep come to this resort area for 2 days very well prepared, having scheduled showings with different Wolves. Not always listing Wolves, but Wolves, whose name was on that webpage, where they saw a condo that they would like to see.
So, in this scenario they follow the schedule and whichever property they like most, they will go to the Wolf, who showed … (6 comments)
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I once posted Professional Amateur. 
;)
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