Turn soul-sucking TV commercial time into soul-saving personal-me-time.

Do you wish you had more time for the important things and people in your life?  There’s a no-brainer way to add hours, days and weeks of quality time to your life.  Stop watching TV commercials.

Here’s what I’m talking about . . .

We spend sixty-one days a year watching the idiot box TV.

According the Bureau Of Labor Statistics:

On an average day, nearly everyone age 15 or over engaged in some sort of leisure activity, such as watching TV, socializing or exercising. Watching TV was the leisure activity that occupied the most time (2.7 hours per day).

2.7 hours X 365 days = 975 awake-hours per year spent watching TV.

What do those hours equal in days?  For kicks, let’s divide the average number of TV watching hours by and an arbitrary number of awake-hours in twenty-four hour day.  Let’s use sixteen as the awake-hours number (that leaves 8 hours for sleep).

975 TV watching hours ÷ 16 awake-hours in a day = 61 days a year watching TV 

Sixty-one days of watching TV is a lot.  But, what’s even worse, is this.

We allow TV commercials to steal eighteen wide-awake days of our lives every year.

According to Wikipedia:

Commercial breaks have also become longer. In the 1960s a typical hour-long American show would run for 51 minutes excluding advertisements. Today, a similar program would only be 42 minutes long.

61 wide-awake TV watching days X 30% (percentage of commercials in an hour of TV) = 18 wide-awake days of commercials.

If we use a DVR to record our favorite TV shows, we can reclaim eighteen days a year.  What beautiful, adventuresome, prosperous, relaxing or wondrous things could you do with and extra eighteen days in 2012?

If we don’t DVR our TV shows we’re either stupid or lazy. Or both.

I know.  Some TV loses luster if we don’t watch live.  No biggie.  Don’t record those, watch those shows live.  But for the other ninety-seven percent of what we watch, DVRing is the only way to go. Doing so will add eighteen days of personal-me-time to our lives every year of our lives.

Imagine this!  We DVR everything we can, and slice our TV watching time by a measly twenty-five percent – BOOM!   We just added a staggering full month of precious personal time per year back into our lives.  That’s a lot of life!

What are you going to do with an extra full month of personal-me-time per year? 

Thanks for reading – cheers.

Photo Credit

I invented the word "Transmedia Anthropologist". What, you don't believe me.  See for yourself.  Google Search For "Transmedia Anthropologist". I imagined the word when I was trying to come up with a description of how sales people modern experience providers must approach our morphing consumer society.  And I was trying to add some zing to the author bio for my book.

What is a Transmedia Anthropologist.

It's best if I start by letting Wikipedia and a Dictionary explain the quasi basic meaning of the two words:

"Transmedia storytelling, also known as multi-platform storytelling, cross-platform storytelling, or transmedia narrative, is the technique of telling stories across multiple platforms and formats using current digital technologies. " - Wikipedia Definition of ANTHROPOLOGY

1. The scientific study of the origin, the behavior, and the physical, social, and cultural development of humans.  - The Free Dictionary

Why do we need to be Transmedia Anthropologists?

How do we become a Transmedia anthropologist?

The scarcity happens because so many businesses don't care enough or are too scared to invest the energy in so many seemingly meaningless little bits of being extraordinary.  Seth Godin

Scarcity.  ELBs.  Ah Ha.

What ever our profession, how people value us is compromised of Exponential Little Bits.  All the little bits done right add up  to More Ah Ha.  Done lamely, it's more of the same-ol' same-ol'.  Same-ol' same-ol' is common and leads to invisibility and irrelevance.  When others think we're just like everyone else a commodity, in essence, we melt from their memories and become secret agents. Then we starve, or limp off to the Elephant Graveyard. What we want.  What we need.  What we can't succeed without is creating Top of Mind Awareness as a trustworthy and scarce valuable real estate agent/advisor/professional.  Being viewed as extraordinary requires extraordinary effort.  We can't skip steps, or fire off a shiny silver bullet.  To be perceived as something scarce and valuable requires a collection of sincere, thoughtfully planned and carefully executed behaviors and actions. For example:

• How you look.
• The company you keep.
• How you listen.
• Learning and sharing.
• Tone of voice and body language.
• Color.
• Relevance.
• Humor.
• Sincerity.
• Honesty.
• Candor.
• Promptness.
• Reliability.
• Generosity.
• Enthusiasm.
• Personal accountability.
• Responsibility.
• Visibility (on and offline).
• Flexibility and sensitivity.

All of these character based efforts and actions piled on top of each other, over and over again, lead to extraordinary.  The extraordinary is supremely scarce.  If we want a 2012 LoveFest with success these are some of the things we're gonna have to-do and be, day in and day out. _________________________________ Thanks for reading.  I think I'm mostly writing to myself here, forgive me if I'm being duh-obvious.  This may is an exercise in shared affirmative-self-talk to help me/us follow a righteous valuable path.  All the best to you in 2012.  If I can be helpful, ping me - Ken Brand 832-797-1779  Photo Credit

I'd give it to you for FREE if I could.  But Amazon says I have to ask at least 0.99¢ents

[caption id="attachment_6129" align="aligncenter" width="490" caption="The future is here, it's just not evenly distributed. ~ William Gibson"][/caption] I've sold a ton of the Kindle/eBook versions for $10, today you can download my book Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha - How social savvy real estate agents become trusted, preferred, referred and rewarded from Amazon.com for less than a buck.  99¢ents to be exact.  I'd give it away for FREE if I could, but Amazon.com won't let me.  So, o.99¢ents it is.

CLICK HERE TO ORDER NOW - Yep, only 99 pennies.

Why only 0.99¢ents?

It's Christmas time and it's cool gift for my sisters and brothers in the RE biz. I didn't write it to get rich, I wrote it to share what I've learned with my fellow tribe members (and I thought it'd be cool to be a published author;-) 2012 is just around the corner and this book can help you and our friends in the biz prepare and execute a kick-ass plan for renewed success in the New Year. The more people who read it, the more people will recommend it, the more people will read it, the more people it will help.  Yea!

CLICK HERE TO ORDER NOW - Yep only 0.99¢ents

.

Will the price go back to $10?

Yes.  When, I'm not sure.  But for at least a week it's only 99¢ents. Can you tell your friends about it? Yes of course.  In fact, if you think it's a great gift at a crazy low price, tell everyone.  Tweet it.  Facebook it.  LinkedIn it.  Google+ it.  The more the merrier.

CLICK HERE TO ORDER NOW - Yep only 99 pennies.

Thanks for reading this.  Thanks for sharing this.  Happy Holidays all the best to you and yours.

Chapter Twelve from the book Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha – How social savvy real estate agents become trusted, preferred, referred and rewarded.

Are You Seizing Hiding-In-Plain-Sight Opportunities?

“It is a puzzling thing.  The truth knocks on our door and we say, ‘Go away, I’m looking for the truth,’ and so it goes away.  Puzzling.”  ~ Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

 Have you ever searched high, low, and sideways for your missing reading glasses, only to realize you were wearing them? Have you ever scampered up and down the stairs, searching and mumbling about your lost car keys, only to discover they’ve been in your right pocket all along? Gah! Don’t you want to slap yourself in the forehead when this happens?

Okay, I’m going to share another daily forehead-slapping situation. This happens to real estate agents, usually more than once a day. Here it is.

Profitable Business Opportunities Found Hiding in Plain Sight

Scads of time and money is burned chasing strangers and scampering after suspects and fool’s-gold leads.  We chase high, low, and sideways for listing and selling opportunities.  All the while, a parade of friends who know us, like us, and trust us—the kind of friends that would happily choose and recommend us—are standing right in front of us.  But, like our allegedly lost eyewear and car keys, we don’t see them. These golden opportunities are hiding in plain sight and occur when our friends ask,  “How’s the real estate market?”

Let me ask you: How many times a day are you asked some variation of the question, “How’s the real estate market?”

I posed this very question in a recent sales meeting.  Our icon team members reported being asked this question, on average, twice a day. What’s your average?  If you’re new to the business, your number may be less; if you’ve been around a while, maybe it’s higher.  Either way, opportunities present themselves every time this question is asked.

Let’s say you’re asked this question twice a day, five times a week, fifty weeks a year. That’d be five hundred times a year someone asks you about your business or the real estate market.  Answering this common question uncommonly could be your most profitable free golden opportunity.  All you have to do to seize this opportunity is be yourself and say the right things, at the right time, in the right way.

Let me show you why this is important and how to do it. Beginning with a little detour into what I call The Three-People Principle.

The Mysterious Magic of Three

What comes in threes?

• Genie Wishes
• Goldilocks’ Bears
• Alexander Dumas’ Musketeers
• Blind Mice
• Stooges
• Jack’s (as in Beanstalk) Magic Beans
• A complicated love affair — the French call it ménage à trois
• Mind, body, spirit
• Lights, camera, action
• Of the people, by the people, for the people
• Blood, sweat, and tears
•  Shake, rattle, and roll
• Add your own here: ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_________________________.

The list goes on and on and on.

It’s Not Scientifically Proven, But. . .

It is evident.  Magical energy dances with things in threes.  The magical number three dances with real estate agents too. Do you have a pair of comfortable shoes?  Slip them on and let’s move to the dance floor.

What is the Three-People Principle?

It’s that most everyone you know, knows three people who will move in the next twelve months.

Now, do this and see The Three-People Principle in action. Walk to your car. Get in. Fasten your seat belt. Start your car. Drive to your bank. Withdraw three crisp Franklins.

Drive to your nearest Starbucks. Lock your car. Walk inside.  Approach anyone. Pull out your three crisp $100 bills. Smile. Say, “I will give you $100 for the name of each person you personally know who sold or bought a house in the last twelve months.  It can be a coworker, friend or neighbor, someone from church,Drunko Bunco, yoga…anyone you know by name.”

Smile, listen, and hand over the moolah.

Odds are, you’ll leave Starbucks with a latte, an empty wallet, and an Ah-Ha belief in The Three-People Principle.

So let me ask you, do you believe that most people know three people who have moved in the last twelve months?  If you do, then like Jack’s three magic beans, let’s turn The Three-People Principle into a sky-climbing money vine and crowds of new clients.

Here’s the deal. We’ve talked about this before. Most agents wrongly focus their prospecting energy primarily on the question, “Who in my sphere/network/tribe/niche is going to buy or sell soon?”  This approach is like stepping over dollar bills to pick up dimes. It’s the wrong mindset, and has limited opportunity for positive returns.

Here’s why.

Statistically, people move every seven to twelve years.  Out of 100 people, on average, maybe seven or eight of these 100 folks will make a move during the year. Let’s assume you’re doing a good job and the 100 fine folks you know like you and trust you. Let’s also assume you touch base consistently, meaning you have routine On-Purpose and In-Person conversations with most of them.  Of the possible movers, how many of them can you reasonably expect to choose you to list and sell?  Five out of eight would be fantastic; probably fewer is realistic, right?  So, if you know 100 people, with luck, skill, and strategy, you might be hired three to five times in a year. You can’t survive, let alone thrive, on that number, can you?  And for those of you with fewer than 100 people in your network — well, the number of opportunities is Olive Oyl skinny, right?

However, by refocusing your mind’s eye and your good intentions on The Three-People Principle, you will comfortably and dramatically grow your profit possibilities, because your 100 know 300 who will make a move in the next twelve months.  Even better, if you’re having In-Person, On-Purpose contacts and conversations with 200 people, they know 600 others.  If you know 300, they know 900, and so on. Holy mackerel!

Exercise Alert!!

Before we move on, let’s make this real.  Let’s take a look at what your personal golden opportunity is by completing this next exercise. Grab a pen or a pencil and fill in the blanks. It’s okay, go ahead and write in this if you want.  (In fact, if you aren’t already, I encourage you write notes in the margins, highlight key points, and dog ear pages you want to return to later.  If you’re reading this in an eReader, use all those fancy features to help you remember and return to the material you feel is important.)   Fill in the blanks. Don’t overthink it, simply use the SWAG (Sophisticated Wild Ass Guess) Method. It doesn’t have to be exact, I just want you to get a feel for your total opportunity.

Opportunity Formula Worksheet

Jot down the number of people in each category who live in your market area and  would know who you are if you called them and said “hello.”

_____ Relatives You Still Speak to

_____ Neighbors

_____ Your Sphere of Influence (When you pick up the phone, dial their number and say, “Hi, friend’s name, this is your name calling.”, they would know who you are.  They wouldn’t ask “Who are you?” or hang up.)

_____ People You Know Through Your Significant Others (example: spouse, lovers, partners, kids, relatives, etc.)

_____ Past Clients

_____ Current Prospects, Suspects and the Curious

_____ Add the above numbers and enter the total here

X 3

       ___Enter Your Total Here.

The number above represents the number of people you have both direct and indirect contact with, who will move in the next twelve months.

What Number Of Listing and Selling Opportunities Do You Have?

Can you see how there’s a Fort Knox of opportunity associated with people you know directly?

Let me pause here and say this.  When I share this exercise in a workshop session, there are always agents who worry that their number of opportunities is limited because their network is skinny.  I encourage them, as I do you if you feel this way — No Worries.  The primary point is that going forward you understand and use The Three-People Principle to build a successful business.  In Stage III of this book we cover over a dozen individual activities and actions that will add droves of new friends, prospects, suspects, and clients to your network.  Relax, no worries. Read on and reap.

But before you move forward and begin to put these ideas and strategies to work, here are a few pointers.

Don’t drop friendly, good people to chase strangers.

Do stay in On-Purpose and In-Person close touch with everyone you know. Even when you know that yourfriendly, good people* won’t move in this century, remember that they will know three people who are likely to move. Build trust, create Top of Mind Awareness, and earn the opportunity to politely, professionally, and consistently ask for referrals.  They’ll gladly give them to you, if you ask.

*Note:  I italicized friendly, good people because I see too many agents accepting mental and verbal beatings from rude, mean, and unappreciative people. It’s important to draw your boundaries around how you will and how you refuse to be treated.  When someone you know won’t respect you, you should fire them and move on.  I know the fear of lost opportunity is a powerful thing, but in the long run, even when you win the battle, you lose the war, along with your self-respect.  By using the ideas and strategies in this book you will be able to attract and discover so many opportunities, you’ll be sitting in the catbird seat and can pick and choose whom to work with.  Won’t it be nice to work exclusively with nice people?  Let’s continue…

Don’t randomly ask people in your sphere/network/tribe/niche when they are going to move.  This is awkward for you and supremely annoying to them. All you need to do is relax and treat your relationships like important relationships, not like transactions.  Because you’re engaged in frequent, relevant, In-Person contact and conversations, and you’re going to put some of these new strategies you’re reading about into action, you’ll discover and attract these opportunities naturally.

It’s that simple.

Reminder:  Your mortgage friend knows three, your all-smiles title rep knows three, your grass-stained landscape artist knows three, your sweaty and stern personal trainer knows three, your I-can-fix-anything repair women and men know three, your home stager knows three, your pro photographer knows three, your how-can-I-make-you-shine administrative manager (you don’t call them an assistant do you?) also knows three.  You get the picture, right?

So, back to the reason why I introduced The Three-People Principle to you here in the Seizing Hiding-in-Plain-Sight Opportunities chapter.  Everyone who asks you, “How’s the real estate market?” all know three people who will move within the next twelve months.  Maybe one of their friends will hire a real estate agent this week or next.  Wouldn’t you like to know about that opportunity? Read on to learn how the mediocre miss these opportunities and why you won’t.

Turning Blue Sky Opportunity into Real-Life Reality

The mediocre miss these opportunities because they blurt Blah-Blah and cheese-ball common responses to the question, “How’s the real estate market?”  I think this mostly happens for two reasons: they don’t understand the opportunity, and/or, they’ve never paused long enough to think it through and create an interesting, evocative, or productive answer.

Let’s break it down and turn it around.

How Does Cheese-Ball Happen, and What Does It Sound Like?

Forgettable and cheese-ball happens when the answer to the question, “How’s the real estate market?” is unplanned, unrehearsed, and flaccid.  Here are five quick examples of what I’m talking about:

Q:  How’s the real estate market?

A:  Business is great!” [Yawn. American cheese-ball]

A:   “I’m really busy.” [Boooorrrriinnngggg!  Velveeta cheese-ball ]

A:   “The market’s picking up.” [Sure it is. Roquefort cheese-ball .]

A:   “Unbelievable.” [Whatever. Cheeze-Whiz cheese-ball.]

A:   “It’s slow.” [Loser. Goat cheese-ball]

After any mundane exchange like those above, absolutely nothing good happens for anyone. If you’re hyper-rushed, these puny sound bites might be all you can Munster.  Any other time, they’re lame.  Sorry. Don’t hate, I’m shootin’ straight and sharing solutions.

Will You Work to Become Memorable, Profitable and Cheese-Free?

Memorable happens when our answer to “How’s the real estate market?” is artfully crafted, interesting, and unexpected.  Memorable happens when we know what we’re going to say before we say it. Memorable also leads to Top of Mind Awareness, which, in turn, leads to being chosen and getting referred. So let’s get memorable and turn those Three-People Principle possibilities into a bonfire of real listing and selling opportunities. Which means we have to create a new habit of answering this question with an engaging, super-duper-fast short story  — instead of cheese ball common.

Super-Duper-Fast and Hyper-Tiny Storytelling

I see you scratching your head, thinking,  When someone asks a simple question, I don’t have time to tell a story, even if it’s tiny one.  I know. But hear me out. I’m talking hyper-tiny and fast. There’s even a formula for it.  Using this formula allows us to tap into natural human desires to help others.  With an artfully delivered answer to “How’s the real estate market?”, we can engage the attention of our listeners, naturally and comfortably uncover listing and selling opportunities, and make ourselves uniquely choosable in the process.  Here’s how it’s done. . .

Engaging Super-Fast and Hyper-Tiny Stories Have Three Parts

First I’ll share what the three parts are, then I’ll share three examples. Aren’t you just loving the number three by now, by the way?

1.  Problems and Benefits engage the interest of the listener. People like to help their friends. Whether you ask for it or not, doesn’t everyone want to give you advice when you share a problem?

Plus, good people like to share beneficial stuff with their friends as well. It’s what we call word-of-mouth; we all do it when we tell our friends about an epic movie, an awesome restaurant experience, and cool stuff, people, or places we’ve discovered.

2. Details and Information add context and believability to a story.  If you share a fuzzy problem or a fact-free benefit, the story sounds suspiciously fiction and BS salesy. To sharpen credibility, your story needs to include specific and vivid details and facts like names, dates, and addresses.

3. Request for Advice or Help is how you conclude your super-duper-fast and hyper-tiny story.  After sharing details and factual information about the problems or benefits swirling inside your story, you give the listener a chance to do what comes naturally — the desire to help.  To do this, we simply ask the listener for help and advice about how to solve our problem, or who they might know who would benefit from our benefits.

Sounds weird and uncommon, doesn’t it?   It’s certainly different from bleating forgettable. And that, my friends, is the sharp point of this chapter.

Let me share a few example answers to the question, “How’s the real estate market?” 

I’ll use bold text to identify Problems and Benefits.

I’ll use italics to identity Details and Information.

I’ll underline text to identify Request for Advice or Help.

Question:  How’s the real estate market?

Example Answer #1:  Thankfully I’m super-busy, but also frustrated.  I’m working with the nicest couple from San Diego, Marty and Sarah; she’s a chemical engineer with Anadarko, here in The Woodlands.  Anyway, I’ve shown them twenty-seven houses and they’ve fallen in love with the Clover Park neighborhood, over in The Village of Panther Creek.  The problem is, there are only four homes for sale and none of them has the three-car garage and green belt lot they want.  I’m going to have to knock on some doors and see if anyone is thinking of selling.  You wouldn’t happen to know of anyone who lives in Clover Park, and is thinking of selling would you?  Marty and Sarah are prequalified, and super motivated.

Example Answer #2:  I feel like I’m running around with my hair on fire, but it’s a good thing.  I’m holding an open house this Sunday at a pretty cool house on a cul-de-sac, with a giant lush back yard and a 20,000 gallon salt-water swimming pool.  I’m running around, sending out invitations, coordinating the Internet broadcast, and stuff like that.  If you or anyone you know plans to be in the Clover Park on Sunday, between 2 and 4, stop in, and say Hi.  I’ll e-mail you an invitation.

Example Answer #3:  Things are great, thanks for asking.  Last Tuesday I had the most pleasant closing; they really know what they’re doing at Stewart Title.  I was working with the nicest couple from San Diego, Marty and Sarah.  We looked at twenty-seven properties and I thought we’d never find their dream home. Then I was asking around, and a friend — do you know Theresa Wilson? She’s one of the yoga instructors at Villa Sport, she teaches the 5:30 afternoon class on Tuesdays and Thursdays?  Well, last month Theresa referred me to a friend she knew who lived in the Clover Park neighborhood and was thinking of selling.  Just like that, we showed their home over on Teal Briar, they fell in love, wrote a contract, and moved in Tuesday afternoon.  Now that they’re taken care of, I’m focused on generating some new business.  If you know anyone who needs real estate help, keep me in mind.

As you can see in these three examples, telling a hyper-tiny, super-fast story isn’t difficult.  The trick to it isn’t a trick at all.  The key is knowing what you’re going to say before you say it.  Because you know you’re going to be asked this question every day, have your answers ready before it’s asked.  If you know what you’re going to say, you’ll answer the question conversationally and confidently.  As a result, you attract and discover listing and selling opportunities that were previously hiding in plain sight.  Plus, you’ll sound remarkably more interesting than all those mediocre agents bleating forgettable.

To help expand your thinking about what hyper-short stories you might share, here are some common situations that you can use for your own super-duper-fast storytelling.

• Your new listing
• Your recent closing
• Your upcoming open house
• Market statistics
• Mortgage rates
• A stunning new listing, viewed on property tour

What other situations with a built-in problem that needs solving, or unique benefits that need sharing, would make an interesting story answer?  Choose one or three from the list above or make up you own and perfect practice your new answers to the question “How’s the real estate market?”  Give it a whirl; only good things can happen.

Getting Real – If It Was Easy, Everyone Would Do It

Psychologists tell us that creating new habits takes twenty-one repetitions. Be prepared to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you begin to replace your comfortable and formerly forgettable answers with new and engaging opportunity generators. Uncomfortable feelings are the natural consequences of shoving yourself beyond the fringes of your old comfort zone. Embrace and conquer this discomfort by doing what admired storytellers do: put your stories in writing, perfect practice your delivery, then share it—over and over.

Good luck, grace, and speed.  Rise up.

 I’m going to switch gears now.  I’m going to move from natural laws and principles, psychology and psychographics, trust-building behaviors, mind and skill sets, to strategy and tactics, activities, and actions. Are you with me?

Okay, then.  One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to Go, Girl, GO…

___________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading.  If you’d like to own the book, it’s available in print and eBook/Kindle at Amazon.com.  CLICK HERE to go there.  If I can be helpful, let me know – Ken Brand 832-797-1779

Q&A Self-Sabotage, or Client-Centric Communication?

Chapter Eleven from the book Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha - How social savvy real estate agents become trusted, preferred, referred and rewarded.

“Who speaks, sows.  Who listens, reaps.” ~ Argentine Proverb

They meet. Sam and Ella share their important concerns and ask questions.  Before the last syllable leaves their lips, in know-it-all fashion Tony gushes and spews his one-size-fits-all answers.  Sure, their words entered his ear holes—he heard their words, but he wasn’t really listening, so he doesn’t precisely understand what they were really saying.  In his haste to impress and progress, he didn’t invest the care or time to pause and ask thoughtful follow-up questions.  As a result, he failed to grasp the core essence of Sam and Ella’s important-to-them questions and concerns: what they truly want, expect, or need, or what they fear and want to avoid.

This form of self-sabotage is all too common. When we don’t understand the true essence of our clients’ important-to-them questions, we fail them.  By not asking the right follow-up questions, we’re self-sabotaging our own success. Even worse, we’re doing our clients a disservice -- Fail!!

Overestimating and Underestimating

I don’t want to suggest that this happens all the time with all of us, but it happens enough times for it to be worrisome. We overestimate what we think we know and underestimate what we don’t know.  In our business, we hear the same sort of questions dozens if not hundreds of times.  When we hear a familiar question, in a rush to impress and progress, there’s a tendency to answer the question, or address the concern based on our previous positive experiences with other people.  This is a big problem. 

Why?

Because, while each person’s questions and concerns may be similar in circumstance, the reality is that these questions and concerns are based on their unique personal experiences, expectations, fears, and desires. Sure, we’ve heard and answered similar questions over and over again, but it’s their first time asking us these questions, and their circumstances and perspectives are unique to them.  The core essence of each client’s questions and concerns--or what they truly want, expect, or need -- is different, even when on the surface it appears that they are not. So, when our answers and solutions are generic and sized to fit all, the odds of them hitting their target, earning their trust, and making them happy, are razor-slim.   Not only is this a disservice to our clients, we’re also self-sabotaging our success.

Thankfully, this form of self-spoken-sabotage and disservice can be easily fixed.  When our exchange of questions and answers (Q&A) is thoughtful and thorough, understanding is strong, trust is earned, and our clients are served as they wish to be. Remember The Golden Rule 2.0 from Chapter Seven, “Do unto others as they would have done unto themselves”?  If we keep that in mind we’ll stay on course and everyone goes, “Yea!”

Let’s take a look at what wrong and right sound like.  Imagine overhearing this lame exchange at an important listing appointment. In attendance were two highly motivated sellers and Tony, an unskilled agent.

Listing Appointment – Scenario#1 – The Lame Exchange

Motivated Sellers:  Our last agent never stayed in touch. We’d like regular communication.  How often will you report to us?

Unskilled Agent:  I communicate with all my clients on a weekly basis, I mail a monthly follow-up report, and I e-mail a bi-weekly showing report.  All my clients love this; I run a market-activity-update every three weeks.  I’m available 24/7, you can call me anytime; yak-yak, blah-blah, yada-yada.

At first blush, it sounds like Tony’s keep-’em-in-the-loop communication and stay-in-touch program is pretty snazzy, right? He’s sharing what he believes is a fantastic follow-up and communication strategy.  His last client loved it and he thinks it’s better than what the other agents in his office are doing.  It doesn’t really sound like a lame exchange at all, does it?  But it is.  Here’s why.

What he doesn’t know—because he’s never asked—is his client’s definition of regular communication and follow-up.  Or what they think fantastic looks and feels like.  He doesn’t know their preferred frequency, which method of delivery they prefer (phone, in person, mail, e-mail, text, etc.), or what specific types of information they want.  He doesn’t know diddly-squat about their specific expectations, concerns, or desires.  All he knows is that they said they want regular communication and follow-up.

Yes, there’s a snowball’s chance that Tony’s generic answer might satisfy his clients’ needs, but what if Sam and Ella’s expectations are completely different, or even slightly different?  Earlier in this book we learned that the vast majority of sellers and buyers contact two agents.  What if the other agent listens and understands just slightly or miles more about Sam and Ella’s expectations, wants, and needs?  In this instance, Tony wouldn’t just have shot himself in his right foot, he would have blown both feet completely off, along with an opportunity to take a salable listing.  Equal bummer, Tony will have lost potential sign calls, Internet leads, repeat business, and referral recommendations as well.

What would happen if, instead of rushing to proudly answer, he asked a few clarifying questions instead? Let’s find out

Listing Appointment – Scenario #2 – Crystal-Clear Client-Centric Conversation

Motivated Sellers:  Our last agent never stayed in touch. We’d like regular communication.  How often will you report to us?

Skilled Agent:  Sorry to hear that, Ella. Regular communication can mean different things to different people and I want to make sure I’m delivering precisely what you want. So I’d like to ask a couple of questions.  Would that be okay? [Waits for seller’s approval].

When you say “regular communication,” can we nail down what that looks like for you? For instance, how often would you like an update, what kind of information is important to you, and in what form? I can get you whatever you need—recent market activity, showing agent feedback, marketing activity, things like that—and report back to you by phone, e-mail, snail mail, in person, or however you prefer it. Let’s talk about how you’d like to be kept in the loop. 

Motivated Sellers:  Wow, Tony!  You’re really different from our last agent; you really listen and ask questions to understand what we want.  You must have read that really awesome book: Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha.  We love you and we’ll sign right now.  Plus, we’re going to pay you a big fat juicy bonus.  Plus-plus and super-plus, we’re gonna send you a never-ending stream of qualified buyers and seller referrals!

Okay, I was just having fun with that last paragraph. The point is, if we put ourselves in the seat of the seller, we can understand how asking thoughtful and thorough questions will lead to crystal-clear and precise communication, which leads to delighted and loyal clients. On top of all that, you’ll feel good and proud of how you do what you do.

Be sure to ask thoughtful and thorough questions, before you answer your clients’ questions, even if you’ve heard them dozens or hundreds of times before.  To help keep you on track, here’s a simple four-step Crystal-Clear Communication model for answering questions effectively.

Step One:  Gain Understanding and Clarity Step Two:  Confirm Mutual Understanding Step Three:  Share Your Answer/Solution Step Four:  Achieve Agreement

Step One:  Gain Understanding and Clarity

After the question is asked, smile, breathe, and relax. To identify, clarify, and understand the true essence of their question(s) or concern(s), ask follow-up questions, such as:

I appreciate how you feel, please tell me more about. . .

Could you please elaborate on that. . . Can you describe how/when . . .

You get the picture, right? Ask your follow-up questions in a conversational tone with a relaxed body posture.  By taking the time to really understand your clients’ needs, desires and fears, you’re providing a positive and powerful service to them and to yourself.  Enjoy the interaction adventure and smile.

Step Two:  Confirm Mutual Understanding

When you’re finished asking your follow-up questions, confirm that your understanding matches the true essence of their questions or concerns, by feeding this back and asking if you are on track.  If they say yes, congratulations -- you understand them perfectly.  But before we move to the next step, I want you to ask if there’s anything else they are concerned about.  If there is, listen, and repeat Step One.

Continuing the client-centric listing appointment scenario, Step Two – Confirm Mutual Understanding -- might sound like this:

Skilled Agent:  Thanks.  Let’s see if I understand what’s important to you.  Your last agent didn’t follow up or communicate effectively.  What you’d like is a weekly telephone call, and I heard you say Wednesday evening would be best.  You’d also like a weekly e-mail summary showing appointment feedback, marketing effort updates, and any new market activity in your neighborhood.  Ella, you’d like to be the point of contact; Sam, my man, you’d like to be copied in on the e-mail update.  Does that sum it up?

Motivated Seller:  Yes.

Skilled Agent:  Is there anything else about my communication or follow-up with you that we haven’t covered, but is important to you?  I don’t want to miss anything.

Motivated Seller:  Nope, you’ve got it.  Thanks for really listening.

Asking follow-up questions and confirming that your understanding is crystal-clear and matches the true essence of their questions and concerns is universally appreciated.  It also demonstrates your keen interest in what’s important to them.  This approach easily separates you from the unskilled masses. Everyone wins when you use this Four-Step Model.  It works like magic in business, and all your other relationships too.  Give it try.

Now that we’ve confirmed we understand our clients’ questions and concerns, we move to Step Three, which is where we share our answers/solutions.

Step Three:  Share Your Answers/Solutions

When we ask appropriate follow-up questions and the client confirms our crystal-clear understanding, we know exactly what’s important to them.  In essence, our client has shared exactly what they are looking for. All we have to do at this point is share our tailored to exactly match what they’re looking for answers and solutions.  Of course, as always, relax, smile, and share your answers in a conversational and confident manner.

Here’s an example:

Skilled Agent:  Per your expectations and preferences, I’ll report to you weekly by phone, Wednesday evening, between 7 p.m  and 8 p.m.  We’ll discuss anything important to you, showing appointment feedback, a marketing campaign update, and any new market activity in your neighborhood.  Ella, you’ll be the primary point of contact, and Sam, I’ll be sure to cc you on the e-mail updates.

Follow these three Steps, and then finish strong by moving to Step Four.

Step Four:  Gain Agreement

This step will sound duh-obvious, but the unskilled leave it out because they haven’t read this book and/or they fear a negative response. Traditional sales education teaches us that salespeople need to close and ask for the order.  I like to think of the close and asking for the order as simply asking if their needs have been met, are they happy, and if we have their agreement to move forward.  By asking if our answers and solutions are on the mark, we’re doing what others call closing and you and I will call gaining agreement and permission to move forward.

Here’s an example:

Skilled Agent:  I think I’ve covered all the important points. Do you both feel that I’ve answered your questions and addressed your communication and follow-up concerns in a fully satisfactory way?

Motivated Sellers:  Yeah, it sounds good, dude.

Skilled Agent:  Great.  Then as far as my communication and follow-up commitment are concerned, we’re in agreement.  Let’s move forward.

The Take Away

What positive impact would you and your clients experience, if both of you were dancing in perfect communication rhythm?  This crystal-clear and client-centric Four Step Q&A model works equally well with clients, prospects, lovers, significant others, and co-workers.  In fact, it works with all humans.  Use this four-step strategy and you’re on your way to real estate rock star status, raving fans, more listings, more sales, and fewer problems and misunderstandings.

As great as all this sounds, you’ll do even better (yes, it really is possible) when you become a consummate storyteller. Find out how in the next Chapter.

_________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading.  If I can be helpful, let me know - Ken Brand 832-797-1779. If you'd like to own the book Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha, it's available on Amazon.com in both paper and eBook/Kindle versions.  CLICK HERE to go there.

Chapter Ten from the book Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha - How social savvy real estate agents become trusted, preferred, referred -- and rewarded.

Are You Prepared to Reap While Sluggards Sleep?

“Spectacular achievement is always preceded by unspectacular preparation.”  ~ Robert Schuller

 Every day, no matter the location and market conditions, people choose a real estate agent and properties are listed and sold.  When the market is lush with green grass and low-hanging fruit, even the lazy and unprepared reap oodles of opportunities.   When the market is drought-dry, opportunities are scarce, and civilian expectations are lofty, only the poised and prepared plow deep and succeed.

In any real estate market, especially a challenging market, when an opportunity presents itself, victory favors the prepared.

Questions Are Opportunities.

Because you’re cool, attractive, hard-working and perceived as trustworthy, people are going to ask you real estate questions.

Some of the questions will be asked in a casual setting and spur of the moment; others will be deliberate and direct, like questions asked on a listing appointment.  Whether casual or deliberate, for the prepared, these questions provide conversational opportunities to outshine the average and unprepared and demonstrate your value.

The key to turning conversational opportunities into business opportunities and commission checks is knowing how to confidently, accurately, and attractively answer questions.

Simply stated, preparation is the difference between an unpaid amateur and a paid professional.  If you’d like to become a well-paid professional ask yourself this question.

Am I PREPARED to Answer Their Questions in a Relaxed, Confident, Persuasive, and Attractive Way?

Your future in this business is sealed by your Yes or No answer.  Specifically, the more prepared and perfect your conversations, the greater your success, even in tough times.  Bottom line: to fly high, you must know what you’re going to say BEFORE you say it.  You must be prepared.

About now, you may be thinking that being prepared and knowing what you’re going to say BEFORE you say it sounds like I’m promoting scripts -- and you detest scripts.  Let me assure you, I understand “script-aversion,” and I know that nobody, including you and me, will sit still if we feel our ears are being stuffed with canned-cornpone.  I get it.

B.U.T

Behold the Underlying Truth: we both know that the highest paid speakers, communicators, connectors, entertainers, and presenters all have one thing in common. Even geniuses prepare, perfect-practice, drill, and rehearse.  That’s why what they do looks impressively effortless. They know exactly what they’re going to say and do, before they say and do it.  Do we?

Let’s face it, everyone knows the difference between professionally polished and awkwardly amateurish, when they see it.  We don’t hire or recommend the awkwardly amateurish, and neither will they.

The question we have to ask ourselves is this. . .

Are We Perfectly Prepared to Answer Commonly Asked Questions?

There’s a laundry list of questions commonly asked by homebuyers and sellers, before and during the transaction.  These questions are asked with different words, but the concerns that spark them are similar.

The average and ordinary agent will answer commonly asked questions lazily.  Their answers are routine, impatient, uncertain, nervous, and stuttered in an uninspiring fashion.

The high-paid professionals answer commonly asked questions as if it’s the first time they’ve heard them, and they are the most important questions of the century.  Because they practiced delivering their answers before they’re asked, their delivery is received as confident, persuasive, informed, and professional.  When people feel their important questions are being answered effectively, they relax and move forward.

For example here are eight questions we must be prepared to answer in a relaxed, confident, persuasive, and attractive way:

• How’s the real estate market? (More on this in Chapter Twelve)
• Is now a good time to buy?
• Have home prices bottomed?
• Will mortgage rates rise?
• What are mortgage interest rates these days?
• What commission do you charge?
•  Should I sell now? Is it a good time?
• How hard is it to qualify for a loan?

Here’s A Simple Nine-Point Preparation Plan:

1.  Sit quietly and think about these questions.

2.  Think hard.  Harder than that.

3.  Craft an answer, or two, or three, that you can be proud of.

 4.  Write your answers out. Stephen King said this in his book On Writing, published by Simon & Schuster, Inc. 2000.

5.  Record (use your smart phone to audio or video record) your response.  Review, re-craft, record, review, rinse, lather, and repeat, until you feel conversational, relaxed, and confident.

6.  Go meet people (In Real Life), connect, and engage.

7.  Wait for it.  Here it comes.  The question you’ve prepared for.

8.  Smile, relax, shine, impress.

9.  Rinse, lather, and repeat, for all common moments-of-truth-type questions.

 Are You Thinking This Is Too Much Trouble?

Well, you’re half right.  It’s definitely extra effort to do this, and because one of the secrets of success is “Doing what other’s won’t,” this extra effort will set your new standard for excellence higher than the average and ordinary are willing to climb.

Like I said, the level of our preparation seals our futures.  It’s a natural law: if you want to reap deep while sluggards sleep, be perfectly prepared to answer questions.

Now that we understand the importance of preparation, in the next chapter I’ll go into detail about how to take your question-answering skills to even higher levels.  The more effective you are at answering big and small questions, the better you’ll perform, which leads to more success.

__________________________________________________________________

Cheers and thanks for reading.  If I can be helpful, let me know: Ken Brand 832-797-1779.

PS.  The book is available on Amazon.com, click HERE and order your copy now.

I could yammer on and on about what's happening in the real estate market.  But after all was said and done, it might be easy to conclude, especially if I gushed Pollyanna, that because I'm a salesman, my story was mostly fluff or bluff.  So instead, I'll share the information in pictures so you can draw your own conclusions.

Average Sold Price Per Square Foot

There's a second page to this report.  It's a detailed month by month (2 years) breakdown of Price Per Square Foot.  Click HERE to view or download the full report.

Months Supply of Inventory

There's a second page to this report.  It's a detailed month by month (2 years) breakdown of Inventory Supply.  Click HERE to view or download the full report.

Average Number of Days On Market

Yep, there's a second page to this report.  It's a detailed month by month (2 years) breakdown of Days On Market.  Click HERE to view or download the full report.

Average and Median Sold Prices

Click HERE to view of download the full report.

Sold Price to Original List Price %

Conclusions

Hopefully these statistical reports will help you wrap your head and arms around what's happening in The Woodlands Real estate market.  What we're experiencing in the field matchs what you're seeing in these reports.  Home values are rock solid.  For Sale inventory is thinner than last year and sales in terms of dollar volume and units is above last year as well.  The combination of super low mortgage rates and a healthy local economy, the future looks bright.

If you have any questions about these stats, or real estate in general, let me know.  I'm happy to help or answer questions - Ken Brand 832-797-1779.

Are Fear and Doubt Strangling Your Success? Chapter Nine from the book Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha - How social savvy real estate agents become trusted, preferred, referred -- and rewarded.

“Fear is the highest fence.”   ~Dudley Nichols

 If you’re human, from time to time this happens. Prickly needles sting your skin from the inside. Salty beads bubble up and bloom from your brow. Your imagination runs rogue; bad things loom dangerous, and your normally wet mouth goes Mojave-dry.

Yes, from time to time, we all experience fear.  In the real estate business, fear robs our future—if we let it.  Let’s take a look at the most common fear factors.

Universal We-Fear Factors

We fear…

• Rejection.
• Looking lame, inexperienced, and unworthy.
•  Saying the wrong thing.
•  Awkward interaction.
•  Disapproval from the Get-a-Real-Job police.
•  Not knowing what to do, how to do it, or when to do it.
•  Not knowing the answer.  Ugh.
•  Success or Failure.
•  Fill in the blank_________________________________                   

Which Activities Activate Our Fear Feelings?

To make this exercise relevant and real for you, please fill in the blanks:

• Making the in-person prospecting contacts I know I should.  I fear _____________________.

• Asking hard, important questions.  I fear __________________. 

• Asking awkward pre-qualifying questions about ability, motivation, and time frame.  I fear ______________.

• Embracing new methods, technological tools, and social media.  I fear______________________________.

• Saying NO.  I fear _______________________________.

• Scheduling personal time as a priority.  I fear ______________________.

• Maintaining boundaries.  I fear______________________.

• Speaking my mind. I fear_________________________.

For me, what I fear is disapproval, judgment, rejection, lost opportunity, confrontation, and looking incompetent.

Any of the above situations can incite a riot of fearful feelings of rejection, lost opportunities, and looking wildly incompetent.  In our real estate business, fear is our natural and mortal enemy, but only when we give fear permission to paralyze us. Counter intuitively; it’s also our friend if we approach it right.

If we allow it, fear can become our friend because it signals we’re about to leave our comfort zone.  When we move outside our comfort zone, we’re growing beyond the status quo and above the masses of mediocrity.  Another positive aspect of fear: when we confront and conquer our fears, we’re jumping through a flaming hoop that the majority of our average and ordinary competitors are either unwilling or incapable of.  Yeah.

I know, I know.  Talk is cheap and it’s easier blah-blah-said than ah-ha-done, but consider this approach.

What to Do When We Feel Fearful  

Act like Danica Patrick races.  You know her, right? Auto racing driver. Placed third in the 2009 Indianapolis 500. Face plastered everywhere on GoDaddy.com. Anyway, back to you acting the way she drives.

So, let me ask you this. Do you drive a car?  Through your windshield and down the road, have you witnessed a civilian car crash?  Now, either in the flesh, on TV, or YouTube, have you ever seen racecars crash in an explosive spectacle of flame, twisted metal, and car part shrapnel?

Amateur civilian drivers like you and me—we react differently to crashing cars than professional racecar drivers.  When rolling-up on a fresh car crash, we react intuitively; professional racecar drivers are taught to respond counter intuitively.

Generally, we respond to our fears like we civilians react to a car crash.  Here’s what I mean.  When we’re driving down the road and we see cars crash in front of us, intuitively we slow down, rubberneck, and cautiously steer our way around the accident.  We generally do the same thing when we’re fearful: we slow down, stop, or actively try to avoid the thing that scares us.

Professional racecar drivers are taught to respond to crashes counter intuitively.  At 187 mph, racecars careen around the track within inches of each other and often scrape paint.  When they collide it’s not a simple fender-bender -- crash shrapnel explodes in every direction, and it’s a matter of life or death. Racecar drivers approaching a wreck are taught to hold a steady speed or accelerate and steer their car directly into the center-point of the car crash.  Why?  Because at 187 mph, if a driver instinctively attempts to steer around the crash, odds are that instead of avoiding the wreckage they’ll drive directly into the exploding shrapnel or sideswipe another driver.  If they slow down or stop, the speeding cars behind them will rear-end smash into them, causing a horrific chain-reaction, multi-car pile-up.

Professional drivers know the best chance for survival is to feel the fear, face the fear, and take counterintuitive action.  Which means they respond as they’ve been taught: they don’t brake or hesitate, they don’t swerve or stop, they steer directly into the thing they fear and race forward to Victory Lane.

And so should we.

In real estate, we need to drive our business like Danica Patrick drives her racecar.  When we feel fearful, acknowledge – don’t avoid it.  Suppress the intuitive desire to hit the brakes and steer around what’s scaring us.  Instead, like a professional racecar driver, we should respond counter intuitively by speeding forward, directly facing what’s scaring us, and taking decisive action.

Will We Always Win by Facing Our Fears?  

Sort of.

Let’s face it. When we feel the fear and take action anyway, from time to time we’re gonna crash and burn, big time.  Our metaphorical knees will scrape, our eyes might get blackened, and maybe a pearly white tooth or two will get chipped.  At the very least, our pride will sting and our ego will bruise.  So what?  It won’t kill us; it will make us more prepared, more experienced, and ultimately, more successful.  Here’s what Oscar Wilde said about learning from our experiences:

“To regret one's own experiences is to arrest one's own development. To deny one's own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one's life. It is no less than a denial of the soul.”

If we professionally press forward when amateurs brake and swerve, we will win.  The saying, “Fail Faster— Succeed Sooner”  is the perfect mantra for facing, embracing and conquering our fears.  Say it with me now, out loud: I Will Fail Faster to Succeed Sooner.

Okay, I have a confession.  Even now, after all these years in the business, I still murmur this Fail Faster – Succeed Sooner mantra.  In the same way that you must prospect for buyers and sellers, as a sales manager, if I don’t prospect for talented new team member recruits, I won’t succeed, the team won’t succeed, and the company won’t succeed.  That means I have to make In-Person Contact and  On-Purpose Conversations too.  When I hear my whiny negative inner voice whisper-warning me of rejection, looking lame and sounding desperate, I suck it up, remind myself that fear is natural, and if I crash and burn it won’t kill me, I’ll only learn faster.  Then I straighten my shoulders, paint a smile on my face, and speed forward to Victory Lane.  You can too.  Amen.

We Don’t Have to Learn All Our Lessons the Hard Way

Professionals train and perfect-practice until they’re as good as they can be. Note: Practice doesn’t make perfect, perfect-practice makes perfect. If you practice, drill and rehearse a skill doing wrong things in the wrong order, no matter how hard or how often you practice, you don’t get better at the skill, you get better and doing the wrong things in the wrong order.  To make practice pay, you have to be doing the right things in the right order. Perfect-practice makes perfect.

Let me explain to you what I mean by that. Here’s another little exercise for you. Do this now:

1. Grab a black ink pen and yellow legal pad.
2. Write down the activities, the situations, and especially the questions and objections that give you the heebie-jeebies in our business.  Here are a few of the usual suspects to get you started:
   1.   Giving a listing presentation.
   2.   Commission cutting, what do you charge, will-you-take-less questions and objections.
   3.   “How experienced are you?” questions.
   4.   “I don’t want to sign your Buyer’s Rep Agreement!” statements.
3. One-by-one, create a written response or action plan that will give you the confidence to overcome or eliminate the individual fears you just listed. (More on this in the next chapter.)
4. Diligently train and perfect-practice for a professional outcome.   That means feeling the fear, facing directly into it, taking action and learning from the experience.
5. Rinse, lather, repeat.

If you do this, you will prosper. Honestly, you will. Try it and experience your confidence strengthen and your opportunities multiply.

Wait.  There’s More.

Now let’s talk about self-doubt, fear’s kissing cousin.  Self-doubt is the other mean little demon voice that whispers our bright ideas are dim, our actions are in vain, and success is doubtful.  Negative self-talk and self-doubt saws our success off at the knees if we let it.

If you suffer from self-doubt, like I frequently do, here’s what our wicked and impish inner voice might whisper and ask:

• Am I smart enough?
• Am I old-fashioned and out-of-touch?
• Am I good-looking enough?
• Am I lazy?
• Am I boring?
• Does anyone really care?
• Does any of this crap really work?
• Will it last?
• Am I funny?
• Do I have any talent?
• Do people like me?
• Am I good enough?

I’m self-talking to myself all the time. We all are. When my self-doubt demons speak, I’ve learned to mask, muffle and most often, slay them.  It’s not easy and I’m not always successful, but managing my self-talk acts as a powerful energizer, pushing my success and me forward.

Do you self-doubt?  If you do, here are thirteen perspectives that help me slay my self-doubt demons. Hopefully, they’ll also help you.

Thirteen Ways to Slay Self-Doubt Demons

I begin by listening when my self-doubt demons talk to me.  I don’t ignore them or self-doubt myself for self-doubting.  I don’t punish or berate myself.  I know that self-doubt is normal and I listen and learn, reminding myself…

1. I’m learning you can’t make a cat bark.  (Think about that, and how it applies to people and their behaviors.)
2. I’m learning I can’t control outcomes that involve other people; I can control only my own actions.
3. I’m learning that when I miss my mark, I can choose to mope, blame, and make excuses, or I can choose to learn, adjust -- and, if it’s important -- redirect my efforts.
4. I’m learning Lincoln: “You can please some of the people all the time and you can please all the people some of the time, but you can’t please all the people all the time.”
5. I’m learning to discern the difference between what’s sincerely important to me and what I’ve been conditioned to think others think should be important to me. I’m choosing sincere over should.
6. I’m learning that some days are just crappy days. That’s life. Tomorrow’s a new day.
7. I’m learning that performance, weather, seasons, and life all ebb and flow, like Costa Rican waves.  You can’t tame the waves, but you can learn to surf them.  Sometimes you catch the waves and ride, sometimes they catch and tool you.  The important thing is to paddle back out and catch the next one.
8. I’m learning life is not a sprint and nothing is ever over until I decide it’s time to quit. (Sometimes it’s important and wise to quit.)
9. I’m learning that letting go means letting go, not sorta letting go, or carrying it lightly.  Letting go means releasing it, whatever it is.
10. I’m learning to recognize haters, users, and posers—and to avoid and ignore them.
11. I’m learning to enjoy the now more.
12. I’m learning that my self-worth is not determined by others, but by myself.
13. I’m learning that if I open my eyes, my ears, and my mind, my self-doubting demons can illuminate opportunities for improvement.

Take Swift, Confident Action

The next time you hear self-doubt whispering trash in your ear, will you talk back and take action?  When fear feelings slap you in the face, will you turn the other cheek or take swift confident action, slay your self-doubt demons, and win the success you deserve?

Now that we’ve kicked self-doubt’s ass, our fear feelings are in check, and we’re racing forward, in the next chapter let’s revisit the subject of perfect practice and the power of preparation.

______________________________________________________

Thanks for reading, if you'd like to own the book, it's available on Amazon.com in print and eBook Kindle - Click HERE and away you go.  Cheers.

Chapter Eight from the book Less Blah Blah More Ah Ha - How social savvy real estate agents become trusted, preferred, referred -- and rewarded.  By Ken Brand

On-Purpose and In-Person Contact and Conversations

“You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.”  ~M. Kathleen Casey

If you somehow manage to get six hours of sleep, you’re left with eighteen mostly awake hours to do all the bajillion things you need to do in the day.  Eighteen hours sounds like a lot, but it’s not.  It’s only 1,080 minutes.  With your 1,080 minutes you have to take care of yourself, take care of others, make money, run errands, pay bills, love, laugh, cry, play, and plan.  Because your time and energy is finite, it’s important that your real estate efforts are keenly focused and highly leveraged.  You don’t have any time to spare, right?

 Your Most Important Activity Isn’t Hoping

Unfortunately, the real estate business is a hotbed of hope, and our industry is overloaded with agents who hope that they can advertise, direct mail, and e-mail their way to success. They mistake monologue broadcasting with in-person contact and bombard friends, strangers, and neighbors with postcards and e-cards, hoping for a call back.  They shoot out Just Listed and Sold announcements with no personal contact, dreaming of lucky lighting strikes.  They spend hours creating the perfect and magically-hypnotic, twelve-page “Why You Should List with Me” expired listing and FSBO seller proposal -- then they drop them in the mail and wait for a stranger who doesn’t know them to call another stranger (the agent), ask for their help, and throw money at them.

If their direct and e-mail blasting campaign isn’t working (and it never does), they double down on hopeless and plunk down maxed-out credit cards to buy worthless magazine and newspaper ads, chasing new strangers…and hoping harder than ever.

Earlier we talked about how buyers and sellers choose their real estate agents – rarely is a stranger chosen.  Throughout the book we talk about strategies, tactics, and specifics on knowing what others don’t and doing what others won’t.  All of these are ideas are pointless without On-Purpose and In-Person Contact and Conversations.  Bottom line, without them you can’t be successful.

Let’s take a look a look at what happens when On-Purpose and In-Person Contact and Conversations happen.

In-Person Contact Leads to Conversations and Connection

In-person contact is the only certain path to success.  When contact does not include a conversation, it’s not In-Person Contact, it’s a monologue advertising broadcast.  To be clear -- direct mail and e-mail blasts, print and electronic advertising, status updates, blog posts, and other forms of online and offline promotions that don’t include a conversation do not fall into the In-Person Contact category, they fall into the broadcast contact category.  (As an aside, there is an important place for strategic and targeted broadcast contact, but it’s a supplement to success, not primary to it.)

There are three positive and profitable forms of In-Person Contact; I’ve listed them below in the order of their effectiveness.

1.  Face-to-Face – Real Time and Online via Skype, Apple Face Time, Google Chat, etc.

Face-to-Face is best because we can use all our senses to engage, connect, and communicate.  Body language, facial gestures, and tone of voice all add weight and depth to the conversation, and meaning to our mutual understanding and connection.

2.  Voice-to-Voice – Cell/Telephone

This is second best because we’re missing all the visual cues, but we can respond to tone of voice, ask follow-up questions to improve our understanding and add context and detail to clarify and colorize our conversation.

3.  Text-to-Text (virtual) – Social media conversations. Text messaging, online chat, e-mail and other forms of typed conversations.  

We’ve all experienced the conversation-flattening effect of Text-to-Text conversations.  When we read another person’s dialogue we miss out on important body language, facial gestures, and tone of voice cues.  Because we can sometimes misinterpret or misunderstand what’s been written, Text-to-Text is at the bottom of this all-important list.  But let’s not discount the growing importance of this form of In-Person Contact by mis-considering it a teenager’s toy.   Not only are half a billion people who engaging in Text-to-Text conversations on Facebook and other online social media networks, were sending send over 4.1 billion text messages every day.  (Let’s not ignore, but embrace Text-to-Text, my friends.)

Any way you Ronco Slice & Dice it, the key to success in the real estate business hinges on correct forms of contact.  When In-Person Contact is made, conversation takes place, and like bees buzz, possibilities bloom.  Especially if one of them (you) is listening with elephant-eared interest to what the other person has to say.  This is critical because the more sincerely we listen, the better we understand where a person is coming from. The more we understand each other, the more we appreciate each other. When we appreciate each other our connection deepens, and our relationships naturally colorize and click as we uncover multiple levels of mutual interest.

Conversation and Connection Lead to Trust and Discovery

As our connection and mutual understanding grow, so does our trust.  Trust leads to sharing our dreams and desires, unmet needs and challenges, likes and dislikes with each other.  The more others share with us, the more we discover how we can best help, support, share with, or serve them.

Trust and Discovery Lead to Sharing, Solving, and Serving

This part is where the rubber meets the road, and is super important. Well, it all is, but this part especially so.

When I speak about sharing, solving, and serving, I’m not suggesting you focus exclusively on real estate-related sharing, solving, and service opportunities.  In fact, an exclusive focus on real estate things makes us one-dimensional and annoying.  The goal is to become the Go-to Girl/Giu for all things related to community, family, home, entertainment, lifestyle . . . and real estate stuff.

For example, some of my appreciated sharing has taken place on Facebook and has nothing to do with selling or listing houses.  The best conversation starters happen when I talk about everyday life things, when I share personal photos and miscellaneous web links to community information for events, festivals, concerts, and positive local news.

By engaging in one-on-one conversations (on and offline), listening intently and being curiously engaged, you will discover what to share, and how you can help and best serve others.

Aside from the personal examples I shared above, yours might include: recommendations for youth sports leagues for their kids; a housekeeping service; a great (maybe new) local restaurant; the perfect hotel in the city they will be vacationing in next month; the dry cleaner who doesn’t break buttons; the lawn maintenance crew that actually shows up when they say they will; the newly released movie you LOVED and thought they would too; an interesting blog post on something they care about. The main point is, share relevant stuff, not just real estate stuff. Your ratio of civilian stuff to real estate stuff should be about 80/20.

When sharing things non-real-estate-related, you never have to mention real estate -- simply deliver the information wrapped in your real estate agent wrapper.  What do I mean by that? When you e-mail an article, link, or other suggestion, your real estate agent e-mail signature is your wrapper.  If you snail mail something, add a couple of business cards; your business stationery and the logo printed on the envelope also double as your real estate agent wrapper.  When out and about, during business hours, wear your name badge to remind the people you’re talking to what business you’re in.

Always follow-up your e-mailed or snail-mailed information with a phone call. Simply call them up, say hello, and ask if they received the information you’ve sent.

Sharing, Solving, and Serving Leads to Being Chosen and Recommended

The beautiful thing about sharing, solving problems, and serving others is that you will find that their appreciation for you, their attraction to you, and their trust and confidence in you grow naturally. Done sincerely, you will tattoo your Technicolor Top of Mind Awareness into their subconscious. When they, or their friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, or relatives need information -- especially real estate information, solutions, or services -- you will be the first person they think of and contact.

Now That We Understand the Importance of In-Person and On-Purpose Contact and Conversations, What Next?

 The questions you should ask yourself are:

How many In-Person and On-Purpose conversations do I typically have each day?

• Do I listen with elephant-eared attention?
• Am I asking the right questions?
• Am I discovering what others need, desire, enjoy, believe, value, and care about?
• Do my conversations make others feel significant?
• Do I share, solve problems, and serve?

If you’re not having rich, On-Purpose and In-Person conversations (with civilians, not colleagues) every day, you’re strangling your success. If your daily conversations are tainted with aimless yammering, if it’s about me-me-me, and blah-blah-yada, you’re killing your success and repelling opportunity.

Relationships, financial success, and fun begin and end with personal contact and rich conversations.  When you get to Stage III of this book you’ll discover dozens of way to create respectful, relevant, and appreciated contact and conversation. Pick a few and get started today; you’ll reap the rewards in short order.

Bonus Material

In addition to all the benefits we’ve just covered, here’s another huge bonus. In-Person Conversations position you in the direct-opportunity path of least resistance and convenience. Making these kinds of contacts provides an opportunity for someone to easily and immediately share a referral. You see, people have only 1,080 minutes to get their things done. They’re way too busy to stop what they’re doing, dial your number, and share a referral. But if you contact them, they will happily share an opportunity with you.

Your New Beginning

It’s simple. Have more conversations every day. Does this make sense?

Will you have more conversations?

How many In-Person, On-Purpose conversations will you have today?

When will you start?

Let me know how it goes.  Rock on!

 And Now…

This is the end of Stage I, the part of the book in which we covered the philosophy behind the approach that has helped me and thousands of others’ careers go from sour to sweet. So now you’re ready to apply The Golden Rule 2.0, establish all-important Top of Mind Awareness, identify and connect with compatible tribes by using that psychographic stuff I shared with you, and make In-Person, On-Purpose Contact and Conversations.

No? You’re not feeling all the King Kong confident yet? Whaddya mean, you have a few extra issues to clear up first? Well, okay…let’s deal with them next. Because to be perfectly honest with you, the biggest black-flag barrier to our success is not the economy, lack of experience, your broker…or anything else external. It’s those 101 little ways in which we tend to self-sabotage ourselves and our personal success.

Starting with that really big one—FEAR.

___________________________________________________

Thanks for reading.  If I can be helpful, let me know:  Ken Brand 832-797-1779.  If you'd like own the book, it's available on Amazon.com - just click HERE to get started.