funny friday: The Bagpiper - 04/04/12 06:25 AM
My mom forwarded this to me.....enjoy! As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a Pauper's' cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently Gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were … (12 comments)
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funny friday: Funny Friday, The Miracle of Toilet Paper - 02/03/12 10:44 AM
I received this email from my Mom, so I thought it would be OK to share it :-) THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.' Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the … (24 comments)
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funny friday: Funny Ads - 11/11/11 09:59 AM
Funny AdsBraille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.Help wanted, singer for rock band. Must be female or male.For sale, Hope Chest, brand new, half off, long story.Help wanted, adult or mature teenager to baby-sit. One dollar an hour.For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.Four-posted bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.Wanted: Part-time married girls for … (17 comments)
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funny friday: Funny Friday's, Dust To Dust - 11/04/11 10:55 AM
… (18 comments)
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funny friday: Funny Fridays - 10/21/11 09:45 AM
A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man,” the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The … (22 comments)
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funny friday: Funny Friday - 10/14/11 09:52 AM
A friend emailed this to me.... A doctor in Duluth Minnesota wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant. 'Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients.'
'Yes, sir!' answers Ole.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: 'So, Ole, How was your day?'
Ole told him that he took care of three patients. 'The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL.'
'Bravo, … (16 comments)
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funny friday: Funny Friday by Kristin Johnston, Waukesha Cty WI Realtor, Remax, Buyer's Agent - 10/07/11 09:20 AM
A woman is on board a small two-seater airplane when suddenly the pilot dies.Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio."Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died!"Ground control receive her call for help and answers back: "Don't worry, Madam. I'll talk you down, just do as I say.First, I need you to give me your height and position.""I'm 5"2' and sitting in the right front seat."Ground control: "Repeat after me:Our Father..... Which art in Heaven.... "
… (17 comments)
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funny friday: Funny Friday by Kristin Johnston, Waukesha Cty WI Realtor, Remax, Buyer Agent! - 09/16/11 09:36 AM
I came across this joke and thought it would be fitting for a Funny Friday:
Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them,
"I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependant on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
So they got up, unplugged the computer and threw out my wine!!
The little brats.
… (29 comments)
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funny friday: Funny Friday, Church Fart! - 09/09/11 09:52 AM
My mom forwarded this to me.....he he!
"An elderly couple is attending a church service. About half way through, she writes a note and hands it to her husband. It says, "I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?" The husband scribbles back,"Put a new battery in your hearing aid!"
… (24 comments)
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funny friday: Funny Friday! - 09/02/11 10:44 AM
Love this oldie, but a goodie!
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funny friday: Funny Friday! - 08/26/11 09:55 AM
This was emailed to me...women are so clever!
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with … (21 comments)
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funny friday: Funny Friday! - 08/05/11 09:32 AM
Another oldie/goodie:
… (14 comments)
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