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humor: Funny Fridays, Ellen Degeneres Quotes - 04/06/12 07:01 AM
Ellen Degeneres Quotes
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
People always ask me, … (12 comments)
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humor: Funny Fridays, Black Suit Or Blue Suit? - 03/16/12 06:35 AM
I was forwarded this email....thought I would share since it is Friday :-)
A man died and is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. The widow says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her … (17 comments)
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humor: Funny Friday, The Miracle of Toilet Paper - 02/03/12 10:44 AM
I received this email from my Mom, so I thought it would be OK to share it :-) THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.' Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the … (24 comments)
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humor: Funny Friday's, An assortment - 12/09/11 10:53 AM
I thought these were kinda cute...enjoy the chuckles:
I was shopping at a grocery store, picking up cat food for a friend. Not having a cat myself, I asked the clerk if I would get the senior discount on the cat food. To this, he replied, "How old is the cat?"
A woman from the city stopped in at the small country store and asked the clerk behind the counter for some fresh meat. "I'm sorry, ma'am" the clerk said. "All we have that's fresh is cow tongue." The woman made a face. "Oh! I won't eat anything that … (22 comments)
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humor: Wise Words - 12/05/11 10:16 AM
This was forwarded to me...thought some were pretty good :-)
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car
A bank is a place that will lend you money, provided you can prove you don't need it
The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on the list.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing … (18 comments)
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humor: Funny Fridays, Two Blind Pilots - 11/18/11 10:14 AM
Two Blind Pilots
Two blind pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it … (13 comments)
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humor: Funny....Priorities! - 11/14/11 10:08 AM
This was emailed to me... Funny how Priorities can Change:
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build … (21 comments)
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humor: Funny Fridays - 10/21/11 09:45 AM
A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man,” the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The … (22 comments)
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humor: Funny Friday! - 08/26/11 09:55 AM
This was emailed to me...women are so clever!
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with … (21 comments)
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humor: Funny Fridays! - 03/25/11 09:45 AM
idx search - Waukesha WI Real Estate
LOOKING FOR A PROPERTY? I CAN HELP YOU FIND YOUR NEXT HOME! BUYERS---CONTACT ME, KRISTIN JOHNSTON, A BUYER'S AGENT/SPECIALIST WITH THE COVETED ABR DESIGNATION! DON'T JUST TRUST ME, TRUST MY MANY CLIENT TESTIMONIALS!
THINKING OF SELLING YOUR HOME? I CAN HELP WITH THAT TOO!
Waukesha County Real Estate. Feel free to email me at kjohnston@remax.net or call me directly at 414-254-6647. Need help selling your home? Looking to purchase a home? Find a home in the MLS,on-line info,community information, mortgage calculators and more: www.kristinjohnston.com
Your contact for all your real estate needs … (21 comments)
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humor: Start Your Work Week Off With A Chuckle! - 03/14/11 09:29 AM
idx search - Waukesha WI Real Estate
LOOKING FOR A PROPERTY? I CAN HELP YOU FIND YOUR NEXT HOME! BUYERS---CONTACT ME, KRISTIN JOHNSTON, A BUYER'S AGENT/SPECIALIST WITH THE COVETED ABR DESIGNATION! DON'T JUST TRUST ME, TRUST MY MANY CLIENT TESTIMONIALS!
THINKING OF SELLING YOUR HOME? I CAN HELP WITH THAT TOO!
Waukesha County Real Estate. Feel free to email me at kjohnston@remax.net or call me directly at 414-254-6647. Need help selling your home? Looking to purchase a home? Find a home in the MLS,on-line info,community information, mortgage calculators and more: www.kristinjohnston.com
Your contact for all your real estate … (25 comments)
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humor: Funny Fridays! - 12/03/10 10:33 AM
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who waslooking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was notfar off he asked what she'd like tohave for her birthday.'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror ..On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wallof Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.Five hours later they … (22 comments)
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humor: Funny Fridays! - 09/24/10 09:59 AM
Excuse the one "bad" word...but funny stuff!
idx search - Waukesha WI Real Estate LOOKING FOR A PROPERTY? I CAN HELP YOU FIND YOUR NEXT HOME! BUYERS---CONTACT ME, KRISTIN JOHNSTON, A BUYER'S AGENT/SPECIALIST WITH THE COVETED ABR DESIGNATION! DON'T JUST TRUST ME, TRUST MY MANY CLIENT TESTIMONIALS!
THINKING OF SELLING YOUR HOME? I CAN HELP WITH THAT TOO!
Your contact for all your real estate needs in Waukesha County, WI,
Kristin Johnston
PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY GIVE BACK PROGRAM, WHERE I MAKE A CONTRIBUTION TO AN ANIMAL SHELTER IN YOUR NAME UPON CLOSING!!!
HSUS MySpace … (12 comments)
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humor: Funny Fridays! - 05/07/10 07:47 AM
Your contact for all your real estate needs in Waukesha County, WI and Milwaukee County, WI.
Kristin Johnston
PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY GIVE BACK PROGRAM, WHERE I MAKE A CONTRIBUTION TO AN ANIMAL SHELTER IN YOUR NAME UPON CLOSING!!!
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
Listen to my blog at http://podcasts.odiogo.com/kristins-blog/podcasts-xml.php
Se Habla Espanol!
… (13 comments)
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humor: Funny Fridays! - 04/23/10 09:06 AM
">Your contact for all your real estate needs in Waukesha County, WI,
Kristin Johnston
PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY GIVE BACK PROGRAM, WHERE I MAKE A CONTRIBUTION TO AN ANIMAL SHELTER IN YOUR NAME UPON CLOSING!!!
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
Listen to my blog at http://podcasts.odiogo.com/kristins-blog/podcasts-xml.php
Se Habla Espanol!
… (18 comments)
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humor: Something To Make You Laugh! - 03/14/10 09:15 AM
There is no such thing as too much Seinfeld....enjoy!
Your contact for all your real estate needs in Waukesha County, WI,
Kristin Johnston
PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY GIVE BACK PROGRAM, WHERE I MAKE A CONTRIBUTION TO AN ANIMAL SHELTER IN YOUR NAME UPON CLOSING!!!
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
Listen to my blog at http://podcasts.odiogo.com/kristins-blog/podcasts-xml.php
Se Habla Espanol!
… (31 comments)
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humor: Funny Fridays! - 03/05/10 08:26 AM
Your contact for all your real estate needs in Waukesha County, WI,
Kristin Johnston
PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY GIVE BACK PROGRAM, WHERE I MAKE A CONTRIBUTION TO AN ANIMAL SHELTER IN YOUR NAME UPON CLOSING!!!
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
Listen to my blog at http://podcasts.odiogo.com/kristins-blog/podcasts-xml.php
Se Habla Espanol!
… (16 comments)
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humor: Funny Friday! - 05/15/09 08:00 AM
PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY GIVE BACK PROGRAM, WHERE I MAKE A CONTRIBUTION TO AN ANIMAL SHELTER IN YOUR NAME UPON CLOSING!!! ALSO, CONTACT ME FOR INFORMATION ON MY REFERRAL PROGRAM TOO!
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
Listen to my blog at http://podcasts.odiogo.com/kristins-blog/podcasts-xml.php
kjohnston@remax.net, kjjj1234@gmail.com, 414-254-6647 www.activerain.com/kristinjohnston www.LinkedIn.com www.kristinjohnston.com www.ecademy.com www.realtor.com, www.naymz.com www.zoominfo.com www.facebook.com www.plaxo.com www.trulia.com www.myspace.com www.postlets.com, www.perfectnetworker.com www.loopnet.com www.konnects.com www.twitter.com www.wordpress.com www.congoo.com www.xing.com corporate website, and more.
And, as always, if you need real estate … (26 comments)
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humor: This is funny!! - 04/11/09 09:13 AM
PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY GIVE BACK PROGRAM, WHERE I MAKE A CONTRIBUTION TO AN ANIMAL SHELTER IN YOUR NAME UPON CLOSING!!! ALSO, CONTACT ME FOR INFORMATION ON MY REFERRAL PROGRAM TOO!
HSUS MySpace Page | Stop Puppy Mills Website
Listen to my blog at http://podcasts.odiogo.com/kristins-blog/podcasts-xml.php
kjohnston@remax.net, kjjj1234@gmail.com, 414-254-6647 www.activerain.com/kristinjohnston www.LinkedIn.com www.kristinjohnston.com www.ecademy.com www.realtor.com, www.naymz.com www.zoominfo.com www.facebook.com www.plaxo.com www.trulia.com www.myspace.com www.postlets.com, www.perfectnetworker.com www.loopnet.com www.konnects.com www.twitter.com www.wordpress.com www.congoo.com www.xing.com corporate website, and more.
And, as always, if you need real estate assistance in Waukesha County, Milwaukee County, or anywhere in SE Wisconsin, please don't hesitate to contact … (4 comments)
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humor: Funny Photo Friday! - 02/20/09 08:25 AM
PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY GIVE BACK PROGRAM, WHERE I MAKE A CONTRIBUTION TO AN ANIMAL SHELTER IN YOUR NAME UPON CLOSING!!! ALSO, CONTACT ME FOR INFORMATION ON MY REFERRAL PROGRAM TOO!
Listen to my blog at http://podcasts.odiogo.com/kristins-blog/podcasts-xml.php
kjohnston@remax.net, kjjj1234@gmail.com, 414-254-6647 www.activerain.com/kristinjohnston www.LinkedIn.com www.kristinjohnston.com www.ecademy.com www.realtor.com, www.naymz.com www.zoominfo.com www.facebook.com www.plaxo.com www.trulia.com www.myspace.com www.postlets.com, www.perfectnetworker.com www.loopnet.com www.konnects.com www.twitter.com www.wordpress.com www.congoo.com www.xing.com and more.
And, as always, if you need real estate assistance in Waukesha County, Milwaukee County, or anywhere in SE Wisconsin, please don't hesitate to contact me, Kristin Johnston, at kjohnston@remax.net. Please make sure … (33 comments)
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Kristin Johnston,Waukesha County Realtor Buyers Agent,Waukesha Cty WI Real Estate
Waukesha,
WI
More about me…
Remax Realty Center 414-254-6647
Address: Waukesha Cty Buyers Agent,Real Estate Waukesha Cty,WI,Remax Realtor
Office Phone: (414) 254-6647
Cell Phone: (414) 254-6647
Email Me
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