In Melbourne, Florida we've got a few food landmarks that shouldn't be missed. One in particular is Mustard's Last Stand - the epitome of good hot doggery. It's a hoppin', boppin' little place that's been in business here since 1987.
Whenever my friend, Gwen, and I are feeling cranky over a particularly sucky real estate day, (or just because) we head over to Mustard's for a quick hot dog fix.
We start feeling better the minute our order hits the table, which is always less than 3 minutes after placing it. And delivered by a perky waitress with a genuine smile.
There are dozens of dogs to choose from, everything from the 'Eau Gallie' (melted Cheddar and fresh garlic) to the Downtown Dog (bacon, cheese, tomato and mayo) but my personal favorite is the chili, cheese and slaw dog.
And since hot dogs have a tendency to get lonely, you'll want to add some beer battered onion rings (deelish) to your order or, if you're mad at your hubby/wife/boss/dog go for the cheese and garlic fries. Mmmmmm!
The hot dogs are the real deal, made by the Vienna Beef Company in Chicago and the buns are soft, squishy pillows that cradle your delicious hot dog babies to the very last bite.
There are two locations to serve you. One at 1288 N. Harbor City Blvd., in Eau Gallie and one at 415 E. New Haven Ave., in Historic downtown Melbourne. Hours are Mon - Thursday 11:00-8:00, Fri - Saturday 11:00-9:00, Sunday 11:30-8:00
Oh, one more thing. I'm pretty sure that shoes, shirts and dentures are optional here. So, feel free to put your teeth in your pocket and enjoy your Kraut dog, Chicago dog, or chili, cheese and slaw dog!
It's Menage a Trois - California White Wine - vintage 2007. "A delightful blend based on three varietals - Moscat, Chardonnay and Chenin Blanc."
"Discover the enticement of our Menage a Trois. Expand your horizon with this stunning delectable wine. Soft floral aromas and gentle caressing fruit flavors leave you wishing for more." Wal-Mart $9.97. Yum.
Today was a my first WaMu short sale closing - the one that inspired my "Dumpster Diver Discovers Lost Short Sale Files" blog. It went under contract February 12, 2009. Today is June 25th, 2009. That's 5 months according to my math. It's been a long haul, but suddenly I don't hate WaMu so much, in spite of the fact that the file had to be submitted no less than 9 times (really).
It's finally over. Papers are signed and everybody's happy. The buyers were nice (flew in from New York) and the buyer's agent was very pretty. She had dark hair. I hadn't seen her until today and expected her to be blond for some reason. Happy, happy, joy, joy!
I vote for a bottle of Menage a Trois and some comfort food - namely Slumgullion and big, fat cupcakes with lemon icing!
What's slumgullion? It's kind of like a homemade (good) version of Hamburger Helper. It's delicious, comforting and can be made with stuff that's probably already in your pantry (except for the ground meat). My dad used to make it when I was a kid. Said he was going to "whomp up a batch of slumgullion." Back then, I thought it was gross.
I found the recipe for the lemon icing in a recent 'Woman's World' magazine. I put it on some white cupcakes I pulled out of the freezer earlier in the day. Deelish!
Next time you've got the blues, have some chilled Menage a Trois and make yourself some slumgullion and white cupcakes with lemon icing. The world will suddenly seem much brighter.
SLUMGULLION
2 tablespoons Extra Virgin oil + 1 tablespoon butter 1 medium yellow onion, minced 2 stalks celery, minced 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 lb ground beef (I used ground round) 1 teaspoon dried oregano 1 teaspoon dried basil 1 Tablespoon sugar fresh ground pepper to taste pinch sea salt 1 (14.5 oz) can diced tomatoes 1 (14.5 oz) can tomato sauce 1/2 can tomato paste 2 cups macaroni - cooked according to package directions & drained (I used a combination of spiral and twists)
1) Heat the olive oil and butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the onion and celery. Saute for about 5 minutes. Add garlic and cook for another minute. Then add the ground beef and continue to cook until meat is no longer pink (about 5-7 minutes). Sprinkle the seasonings and sugar over the meat and mix in well.
2) Add the canned tomatoes, tomato paste and tomato sauce. Simmer for 5 minutes.
3) Mix in the drained pasta.
4) Serve hot - sprinkle with fresh, grated cheese if desired.
LEMON CUPCAKE ICING
2 sticks softened butter 1 3 oz box lemon Jell-O 3 tablespoons boiling water 1 box confectioners sugar pinch salt
1) Dissolve the Jell-O in 3 tablespoons boiling water. Allow to cool for 5 minutes
2) Beat butter. salt and confectioners sugar until smooth and fluffy. Add cooled Jell-O mixture and continue beating until blended.
Being a home seller sucks worse than being a REALTOR(R). I should know. I'm both of them. Been wearing the seller shoes since the end of April.
But unlike most sellers, I do everything my REALTOR(R) tells me and always practice what I preach. Right? Wrong! Can you spell "do as I say, not as I do"?
No For Sale sign in the yard (don't want the nosy neighbors to know. I'm sure they won't notice herds of people spilling out of magnetic-signed real estate cars)
No lockbox (don't want people snooping around in the house when I'm not there)
No "get out of Dodge" when buyers come to look (I'll just stay out on the porch - they might have questions)
I do, however, perform the pre-showing interrogation well.
"Do your buyers have a current pre-approval letter or proof of funds?"
"They're from out of town? Are they planning to make a purchase decision while they're here or are they just starting to look? Are they buyers or tire kickers"?
"Do they have a home to sell?Is it under contract? Do you have a copy of the contract on their home? Why are they moving to Florida? What's their astrological sign"?
And, in my defense, I always do the 1 hour Power Clean drill before a showing.
Dust, alcohol spritz the mirrors, remove everything from kitchen counters, hide all evidence of human life, hide all evidence of pet life, toilet lids down, fresh bars of soap out, fresh towels out, empty wastebaskets, turn lights on, open blinds, arrange and light candles, arrange cookies on antique cake pedestal, vacuum, take another spin through the house, put lid back down after hubby uses toilet, anxiously await the arrival of buyers.
So what's the part that sucks, you ask? REALTORS(R) who fail to communicate and can't return a phone call! Of all the things REALTORS(R) suck at, this is the worst.
We had a second showing yesterday with out-of-town buyers. They stayed for almost an hour. Ate cookies, drank ice water, complimented us on how nice everything was, rang every buying signal bell possible and just shy of asking us point blank what we'd take for the house, appeared to be serious players. They even asked about ceiling fans, window coverings, appliances etc.
Afterwards, we anxiously awaited a call from the agent to let us know which way they were going to jump. Were they going to ask for our hand in marriage or choose someone else? No call.
Okay, so they'll call today. 9:00 am came and went. No call. I called and left the REALTOR(R) a voice mail to please call me. Lunch time came and went. No call. Dinner time came and went. No call. Pretty soon it'll be time for bed.
No call. No email. Zip. Nada.
Now I appreciate the fact that it's Father's Day and also Sunday. But a quick courtesy call or email would have been so easy and painless. Let me know something. Even if it's bad news. Don't just leave me hanging!
Is it just me? Or is NO COMMUNICATION the biggest reason it sucks to be a seller and THE biggest reason people think REALTORS(R) suck?
Melbourne, Florida- A Brevard County real estate broker has been jailed for 30 days after organizing a neighborhood "flip off" this past Sunday that resulted in property damage, a lost toupee and a broken set of dentures in the gated community of Sunny Pines Estates.
The broker, Helen Cranktank, is known among her associates as the ‘House Hag.'
Sources say the flip off was organized against Toots and Elmer Fartswell, an elderly ‘For Sale By Owner' couple, after they ‘kidnapped' buyers that Ms. Cranktank felt rightfully belonged to her company.
A witness involved in the melee said that Mr. and Mrs. Fartwell had been trying, unsuccessfully, to sell their house for 3 years. After spying what appeared to be qualified buyers going into the House Hag's listing for a second showing, the Fartwell's sharpened their hooks and waited for the right moment to grab their prey.
"And sure enough," according to the witness, "as soon as the Realtor's® car pulled away, Mr. Fartwell was on those buyers like stink on you-know-what. He hightailed it across the street and told them about his FSBO and what a great deal it was. An hour later the buyers left with a contract in hand. "
Upon hearing the news, Ms. Cranktank went into a rage, contacted every homeowner in the community and organized a ‘Fartwell Flip Off' which was to be followed by a free cocktail party and BBQ at the Sunny Pines club house.
But according to one witness, the Fartwell Flip Off went from a 'beautifully synchronized gesture' into a neighborhood brawl.
"Mr. Goober's Pekinese hocked up something really gross on Mrs. Webber's freshly power-washed driveway and one thing led to another. Before you know it, people were calling each other names, throwing eggs at each other, kicking, pulling hair and tearing out flower beds."
"We still haven't found Stan Paxil's toupee and probably never will. Someone thought they saw Ms. Cranktank throw it down the sewer drain."
Remember when I was brand new to blogging? When I didn't know my Active Rain Associates from a hole in the blog?
Remember when you wrote and asked me for help on how to improve the "hit count" on your blogs? And I wasn't very helpful because I was still so new? And still in shock over the fact that people were actually reading and commenting on the crap I wrote?
Well, I haven't forgotten you. I hope you'll forgive me for not writing back sooner. But here I am and I hope this letter finds you well - even though it appears you gave up your quest of becoming an active blogger.
When you asked for my help, back in November of 2008, I suggested that you write about your passion. The thing you enjoy, the thing that is most real to you and is honestly "yours."
We never saw or heard from you again. That's sad. It makes me feel guilty. Maybe if I had given you a better answer you'd still be with us, rocking our world with your blogs. The truth is, I'm still haunted by the fact that I didn't take the time to get you fired up and back into the blogging game here on Active Rain.
So, here we go. I hope you're still out there and I hope there's still a flicker of "I want to write, dammit!" in you. Go get your blogging shoes on and let's boogy!Here's my revised answer to your plea for help.
Ditch the boring, "industry info" crap you were regurgitating from your company news feed. It sucked. No one comes to Active Rain for boring. And no one will bother commenting on it, no matter how cute you are or how much people like you. We get enough of "boring" in the office, from our clients and on TV.
Tell us, in your own words, who you are and what you LOVE, LOVE, LOVE and what you HATE, HATE, HATE. What pisses you off about your customers? What did that lady have on who came to your office to bitch about the price of her home-owner's policy? Did she have alcohol on her breath? Was her hair dyed? Did her husband have a glass eye?
And what about the booger-eating dork who insists that monthly reports be submitted on time, or else? Is he left handed? Does he stutter? Does he wear a bra under his shirt and tie? Is he married to the boss?
Tell us the juicy stuff! And tell us from your heart. We don't care if your grammar is perfect or if you misspell your words. Well, okay there is one guy here who cares....but trust me, if he ever misspells a word on Active Rain he's gonna hear about it from a thousand people.
Please come back and dance with us in the rain. We miss you! And thanks for waiting so patiently for the real answer to your question.
Jacksonville, Florida- Daniel "Dino" Odum, part-time Ferris Wheel operator, flea market vendor and former Realtor® loves to hunt for dumpster treasure. This past Friday was no exception.
While walking past what appeared to be a stuffed-to-capacity dumpster at the Bay Meadows Washington Mutual building, Odum caught the glint of something "shiny" out of the corner of his eye and decided to investigate.
As Odum approached the dumpster and slipped on his leather elbow protectors, in preparation for a quick dive, he spotted what appeared to be a "gently used" tackle box. A "real find" in flea market circles. But as Odum got closer and flipped back the rubber lid, he was shocked by what he found inside.
Familiar with real estate documents from his year in the business (2005), Odum found what appeared to be hundreds of thousands of fax cover sheets from Realtors®, third party authorization forms, hardship letters, bank statements, short sale addendums, purchase offers, listing agreements, family photos, losing lotto tickets and copies of Psychic Hot Line bills.
Odum immediately contacted authorities and tipped off Eyewitness News to the situation, with a request that he be allowed to keep the tackle box if it wasn't going to be used as evidence.
When authorities arrived at the scene, they found WaMu employees flinging files out of a second story window directly into the overflowing dumpster. Loud music, hysterical laughter, and 'high-five' hand slapping could be heard from the parking lot.
According to investigators, the files Odum discovered are the "lost" short sale files Realtors® have been submitting to WaMu since their takeover by Chase in late 2008. Some of the files have been submitted repeatedly, often as many as 10 different times to different fax numbers and/or locations.
The director of WaMu's loss mitigation department was unavailable for comment, but sources claim he is a former Active Rain member who was permanently banned for comment spam and continual violation of AR's guidelines.
Disclaimer: This "News Item" was written by Ralph the real estate dog. It is a work of (comic relief) fiction. Only the photo is real. Any resemblance between the characters, persons or Realtors® is purely coincidental. Photo GNU Free Documentation License, through Wikimedia.
Melbourne, Florida - In an effort to prevent a massive bank run by depositors and improve customer relations, Bank of America is now offering a "drive through" short sale service complete with complimentary Starbucks coffee and baked goods.
The move came on the heels of a public uproar after Bank of America sent a credit card rate hike letter to millions of their customers. According to undisclosed sources, even bank employees got the unpopular letter.
So far, the new short sale service has proven to be hugely successful and promises to ease at least some of the bitter animosity caused by the rate increase.
The new "concierge" service allows realtors to submit completed short sale packages at the drive through window and get an immediate approval or counter offer, a firm closing date and a 6% commission guarantee - even if the transaction is a "double dip" (meaning the agent both listed and sold the property).
And while waiting less than 10 minutes for their file to be reviewed and approved, short sale customers are treated to complimentary coffee, flavored lattes and delicious baked goods by attractive car hops on roller skates.
Millie Corn, a realtor with Buy Brevard, Inc. was quoted as saying, "This drive through idea is wonderful! No more snotty loss mitigators to deal with. The drive through tellers are friendly, polite and very helpful. One even helped me complete a hardship letter I had forgotten! And I love the blueberry muffin I got with my mocha latte. Yum! I'm going to try the lemon pound cake with my next short sale"
Bob Horndrip, a realtor with BlueSky Realty said, "it's about time these morons got their act together on short sales. Before they opened the drive through, Bank of America was taking as long as 3 months just to tell you they had received the package. Then they'd take another 3 months dodging calls, losing faxes and shuffling staff. And don't get me started on the crap I've had to deal with from Countrywide!"
According to Rodney Flabbergum, spokesperson for Bank of America, the drive through short sale service with Starbucks is a pilot program being tested in 12 major metropolitan markets. "If it works, which it seems to be doing, we'll open it at all Bank of America locations. Going forward, we may even add a complimentary car wash service."
Photo by Coolcaesar, GNU Free Documentation License, through Wikimedia.
Disclaimer: This "News Item" was written by Ralph the real estate dog. It is a work of (comic relief) fiction. Only the photo is real. Any resemblance between the characters, persons or Realtors® is purely coincidental.
As far as I'm concerned, Bank of America can just kiss my ass! Listen to this letter I got from them yesterday.
Dear (House Hag),
At Bank Of America, we are committed to providing you with clear, timely information you can use to make decisions about your credit card account (please bend over so we can shove another rate hike up your old kazoo)
Please read this information carefully. (you might also want to keep your heart medication nearby because we can feel a spontaneous aneurism or stroke gurgling up through the old pipes as we speak)
The following changes serve as Amendments to your Credit Card Agreement. (and in this case, please understand that the "Agreement" is unilateral and has nothing to do with what YOU want)) To help make them as clear as possible, we have included a summary ("What Is Happening") directly above each Amendment. (Kind of like what your proctologist does while he's snapping on his rubber gloves and discussing the "procedures" he's about to perform)
Annual Percentage Rate: We are raising Annual Percentage Rate(s) on your account. (If you don't like it, tough shit) You have the right to reject this increase. Instructions on how you can reject this increase and pay off your balance at the old rate are included in the enclosed Amendment. (Pay up or shut up. We don't give a rat's ass how long you've been a customer of ours or how high your credit score is)
Transaction Fee: We are adding or increasing certain transaction fees associated with your account.(Hold still now, honey...this'll only hurt for a minute.)
Foreign Transaction Fee: The definition of what constitutes a "Foreign Transaction" is being expanded (to include every monetary transaction imaginable on planet earth)
We are also changing the following benefits and/or rewards associated with your account (please see the enclosed disclosures for complete details:
WorldPoints Rewards: We are modifying one or more of the redemption options. (Your WorldPoint Rewards for spending $18,000 on your credit card will now be worth LESS than the prize your kids get in their cereal boxes, as opposed to THE SAME AS)
Bla, bla, bla.
PS - And please be advised that Bank Of America is currently 6-8 weeks behind on responding to short sale requests from real estate agents like yourself. If you have not already done so, please re-fax the completed short sale package to 866-599-6666, even if you have already sent it 14 times to 8 or more fax numbers and/or mail drops. We will contact you when we get good and god damned ready. DO NOT attempt to contact our loan mitigation department directly. Don't call us, we'll call you.
THIS ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN BY THE HOUSE HAG - UNCENSORED & IN THE RAW!
I don't know about you, but I've always loved to dance. It's high on my list of favorite things. I also love to watch good dance movies. Don't tell anyone, but I think I've seen Dirty Dancing no less than 25 times.
Watching people dance (or ice skate) in unison always gives me goose bumps and makes me feel good all the way down to my toes.
I also love to start the week off with something fun on Monday morning, don't you? And what could be more fun than seeing an entire train station of people break into spontaneous dance?
Have you seen the YouTube video where they do just that? A friend of mine made my day by sending me the link to the T-Mobile dance commercial called "Life's About sharing" (filmed in Liverpool). You may have already seen it and, if so, forgive me. If not, start your week off with something fun. Tune in and shake, shake, shake your booty!
Palm Bay, Florida - When it comes to work, Wanda Spradleg knows how to multi-task. According to close friends, Wanda has been known to "cook a pot roast, clip coupons, mix up perm solution, pull hair through a frosting cap, bake a batch of cookies, set up showing appointments, call agents for feedback and trim her husband's toenails all at the same time."
So when the Florida real estate market hit the skids, it was no surprise to Spradleg's associates at Tropical Breezes Realty that she would figure out a way to make the most of her weekend open houses.
Spradleg, licensed real estate agent, beautician and dog groomer has really felt the pinch of a stagnant economy in Brevard County. She hasn't been able to afford Bingo for over two years and can barely keep up with the payments on her micro fiber living room set and big screen TV.
Not one to give up easily, Spradleg decided to hold "Walk-Ins Welcome" open houses and offer attendees deep discounts on salon services such as perms, hair cuts and pedicures to increase her open house traffic and cash flow at the same time.
"Hey, I might as well do something other than sit there and watch my Sam's Choice vanilla sandwich cookies go stale, right?" "I'm already dragging open house signs and balloons around. Might as well drag a few hair dryers, too. Am I right?"
Sources at the local Board of REALTORS® were busy planning their annual Valentine's Day "We Love (heart) Brevard Brokers" tea and promised to "look into the matter" when asked about the liability issues associated with Ms. Spradleg's cosmetology services.
Disclaimer: This "News Item" was written by Ralph the real estate dog. It is a work of (comic relief) fiction. Only the MLS photo is real. Any resemblance between the characters, persons or Realtors® is purely coincidental.
Disclaimer: ActiveRain Corp. does not necessarily endorse the real estate agents, loan officers and brokers listed on this site. These real estate profiles, blogs and blog entries are provided here as a courtesy to our visitors to help them make an informed decision when buying or selling a house. ActiveRain Corp. takes no responsibility for the content in these profiles, that are written by the members of this community.
In Melbourne, Florida we've got a few food landmarks that shouldn't be missed. One in particular is Mustard's Last Stand - the epitome of good hot doggery. It's a hoppin', boppin' little place that's been in business here since 1987.
The hot dogs are the real deal, made by the Vienna Beef Company in Chicago and the buns are soft, squishy pillows that cradle your delicious hot dog babies to the very last bite.
Mmmm. This wine is so good. 
Posted by 
As far as I'm concerned, Bank of America can just kiss my ass! Listen to this letter I got from them yesterday.
Palm Bay, Florida - When it comes to work, Wanda Spradleg knows how to multi-task. According to close friends, Wanda has been known to "cook a pot roast, clip coupons, mix up perm solution, pull hair through a frosting cap, bake a batch of cookies, set up showing appointments, call agents for feedback and trim her husband's toenails all at the same time."
;)
;)
