Confident, passionate and larger than life were the phrases I used to describe Whitney to my friends in the late 1980's. Rather than start a story by misleading you, I must confess that I spent only a few minutes personally with Whitney Houston when her career was just really taking off, but that time has given me some impressions about life, success and happiness that I hope to share here that might do her justice.
Whitney came to Stabler Arena at Lehigh University to film her music video "So Emotional" for her then-upcoming album. I was working on a degree in Electrical Engineering at the time, and I was tapped to assist with the set up for her video. Although she was surrounded by an entourage, even this early in her career, she was also accessible and friendly.
She smiled and made those around her feel like she cared about them and what they had to say. What truly surprised me was how totally in command she was of everything around her. She certainly wasn't shy. She was sure of herself, confident in her abilities and completely without that nagging fear so many of us have when we do something beyond our comfort zone.
I stammered and mixed up my words as I spoke with her, feeling embarrassed and wishing that someday I'd be able to speak to those around me with such self-assurance. Too often our success and happiness in life is tempered by our fear of making mistakes. We don't want to look stupid, so we may step back and fail to volunteer for a project or fail to answer a question that's asked in case we give the wrong answer. We don't raise our hands when we have a question, and we won't speak to that pretty young woman or man because we're afraid of rejection. That fear develops as we get older and as we recognize the reactions of those around us to our mistakes.
Based on Whitney's self confidence, I believed that she was much older than me (this was in the days before we could Google any fact about anyone). In reality, she was only two years my senior, and I've discovered that it isn't age that gives us that belief in ourselves. It has to be something that comes from within.
Whitney was very talented and she was certainly a success on any scale, but where did that success come from? Those of you who believe success is a result of your connections and dumb luck may think that the fact that Dionne Warwick was a relative of Whitney's led her to her great achievements. The truth is much deeper. If connections are the source of all accomplishment, then why haven't Whitney's siblings and cousins, some of whom are exceptional singers, become infamous pop-stars? Whitney grew up in a poor area of Newark, New Jersey as the daughter of an army serviceman and a gospel backup singer. Certainly Whitney was talented, but there are many starving artists with talent.
For years, I've followed the careers of many celebrities who grew up in my area and wondered what led them to such achievement in their fields. I live in suburban Eastern Pennsylvania where quite a few current celebrities grew up, including huge successes like Taylor Swift, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Amanda Seyfried and others too numerous to mention. You'll find celebrities that grew up nearly everywhere in the country and who came from nearly every kind of background. Incidentally, you'll discover the same thing if you study those in business and industry. They have a variety of backgrounds and were born nearly everywhere. What leads these individuals to achieve such heights in their career choice? George Allen once wrote that people "achieve outstanding success because they don't know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to."
A clue can be found in Whitney's song "One Moment in Time," where she says "Each day I live I want to be a day to give the best of me." Even at a young age, she had passion and a determination to be the best that she could be. Later in life, she would volunteer and give back to many causes she believed in.
If each of us wants to be the best we possibly can be, we have to be passionate about the direction we choose and we have to have determination, realizing we're going to make missteps. We're going to fail sometimes. We're going to look foolish from time to time and we may be judged, ridiculed and rejected. But that's okay. It's part of growing as a person. Go make mistakes, because it will make you stronger.
Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to meet Jillian Michaels of the Biggest Loser (and virtually every diet program available). She was also friendly and easy to talk with. When she was a teenager, she weighed 175 pounds (and she's only about 5'2"!). She was picked on by the kids around her and she determined that she would make a change in her life.
At 19, she opened a personal training business but found she couldn't financially support herself with it, so she took a job working for a talent management organization which gave her some insight into television. Building a side business training some of the actors and actresses managed by the organization, she again jumped full time into her personal training business. She applied for a few positions on television shows and was turned down. Instead of giving up, she called each program that turned her down and tried to find out what she did wrong, so she could do better.
Today, she's one of the most successful fitness and weight loss gurus in the world. She said that to be the person she ultimately became she had to redefine herself. She had to respect herself before anyone else would respect her.
What she had was persistence and perseverance. H. Jackson Brown wrote "In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins- not through strength but by perseverance."
JK Rowling's Harry Potter books were turned down over and over by publishers until someone took a chance. She never gave up. And the most successful inventor of all time, Thomas Edison, said in an interview about some of his failures, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work."
Sadly, Whitney Houston was torn over the past decade between commercial success and struggles in her personal life. If we want to be happy, we also need to determine what is most important to us in our lives. Perhaps it isn't fame and fortune, but rather home and family.
Figure out what is most important to you, and then be passionate about it. Live your life without fear of what others think. If you want to be the best, understand that you will make mistakes. Whatever you choose - be the best person you possibly can be!
I'll leave you with the words for one of Whitney's songs:
"One Moment In Time"
Each day I live
I want to be
A day to give
The best of me
I'm only one
But not alone
My finest day
Is yet unknown
I broke my heart
Fought every gain
To taste the sweet
I face the pain
I rise and fall
Yet through it all
This much remains
I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity
I've lived to be
The very best
I want it all
No time for less
I've laid the plans
Now lay the chance
Here in my hands
Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity
You're a winner for a lifetime
If you seize that one moment in time
Make it shine
Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will be
I will be
I will be free
I will be
I will be free
Loren Keim
Broker / President - Century 21 Keim Realtors - Office: 610-969-7200 x206
Adjunct Professor of Real Estate - Lehigh University - 610-758-4788
Top 1% of Realtors, National Speaker and Author of
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