laugh of the day: LAUGH OF THE DAY: Eating Wrong...
- 09/11/11 01:39 PM
LAUGH OF THE DAY: Eating Wrong... A man walks into a psychiatrist's office. The man has a radish up his nose, carrot in his left ear, and stalk of broccoli in his right ear. He says, “What is wrong with me doctor? Help me!" The psychiatrist replies, “Sir, you are not eating properly.” This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your Arlington VA Realtor. … (2 comments)
Jerry stomped into the jewelry shop and threw a pocketwatch he had bought just days before at the owner. “You said this watch would last the rest of my life,” he screamed. “Yeah,” shrugged the owner. “But you looked pretty sick the other day.” This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your Arlington VA Realtor. … (3 comments)
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his cat. He watched the game in astonishment and complete silence for an hour. "I can not believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest cat I've ever seen.""Nah, the cat's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five." This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your Arlington VA Realtor. … (3 comments)
A police officer pulls a young college student on I-95. "Hello officer!" said the smug-looking kid. "Young man, did you see that stop sign?" asked the police officer. "I sure did!" exclaimed the kid. "But, I sure didn't see you." This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your Arlington VA Realtor. … (1 comments)
A blonde walks into a store downtown that makes curtains. She says to the clerk, "I would like curtains the size of my computer screen. The clerk looks back incredibly puzzled, "Why the size of you computer screen?" The woman replies, "Because I've got Windows!" This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your Arlington VA Realtor. … (6 comments)
A couple was making their first doctors visit after finding out they will have a baby. After the exam, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s stomach with really tiny ink. The man and his wife were curious about what the stamp was for and what it said, so when they got home, the man took out his magnifying glass to try to see what is was. In very tiny letters, the stamp said, “When you can read this, come back and see me.” This laugh courtesy of … (3 comments)
A lady was picking through the bin of frozen turkeys at Walmart. She couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked one of the ladies working in the meat department, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The lady responds, “No ma’am. They’re dead.” This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your Arlington VA Realtor. … (2 comments)
A 26 year-old college senior is calling his Mom from college. This 26 year-old has been struggling to pass biology for years. He tells his Mom, "Ma, I just got my degree!" The mother bursts into joyful tears, "Sweetie, I am so proud. What kind of degree?" The son responds, "A Celsius degree!" This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your Arlington VA Realtor. … (4 comments)
A man can not sleep at night, knowing that he did not pay his income taxes. So, he writes the IRS a note and encloses a check for $200. The note says, "I am very sad with myself, knowing that I have cheated you out of money, so I have enclosed a check for $200. If I continue to feel sad, I will mail you the other $5,000." This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington Virginia real estate. … (7 comments)
Tommy came home from school and he had obviously been in a fight. He was all scraped and bloodied up and his father came to ask him what happened. "Dad, I challenged Frank to a fight and gave him a choice fo weapons." His Dad responds, "Yes... and?" Tommy looks back embarrased, "He chose his sister." This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington Virginia real estate. … (4 comments)
Aboard a flight heading from DC to London, the plane runs into extreme turbulence. To calm the passengers, the flight attendants begin coming around with free beverages. The attendant asks a gentleman, "Would you like anything? A Coke?" With a nervous smirk amid the turbulence, the guy says, "I will have one of whatever the pilot is having." This laugh courtesy of Aron Seekford, your source for Arlington VA real estate. … (3 comments)
A man walks up to the Spirit Airlines bag-check counter at BWI. "I would like this bag to go to China, this bag to Ireland, and this bag to Dallas," said the man. The attendant immediately responds, "Sir, we can not do that." The man instantly responds, "But, that is what you did the last time I flew with you!" This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington Virginia real estate. … (2 comments)
A wife went to the police with her neighbor to claim that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a detailed description. The disgruntled wife went on to describe the missing husband as 35 years old, 6 foot 6, dark eyes, beautiful wavy hair, an athletic build, and great father. The neighbor immediately jumped in saying her husband is really 5 foot 6, stocky, bald, loud and is a neglectful father. The wife then laughs and says "Yeah, but who wants him back?" This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for … (2 comments)
A graduate student developed a very unique formula to bring statues to life. He went to a local park on a weekday to try it out on a statue of George Washington. After a few minutes, President Washington began to move and soon was completely in human form. The student asked excitedly, "What's the first thing you're going to do, President Washington!?" Washington answered while drawing a gun from his back pocket, "I'm going to kill about a million darn pigeons!" This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington Virginia … (4 comments)
A man buys a brand new Porsche, hits the road, and reaches 90 MPH in no time. After traveling a few miles, a cop pulls out behind him and turns on his siren. The man pulls over and the officer writes up a ticket. The officer comes up to the man in the Porsche and says, "I've been waiting for you all day long." The man then says, "Good! I got here as fast as I could!" This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington VA real estate. … (2 comments)
A Sunday School teacher asked her students as they were on the way from the sanctuary to the school room, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in the church on Sunday?" Dumbfounded, the kids sat in silence. And then finally one little girl said what the rest of the kids were thinking. "Because everyone is sleeping." This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington Virginia real estate. … (4 comments)
A patient, suffering from a rare disease looks at his doctor and asks bluntly, "Doc, what are the chances that I'll live?"The doctor turns and looks at the patient confidently. The doctor then says," One hundred percent. Medical research shows that 9 out of every ten people die from the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've had and the other nine died." This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington Virginia real estate. … (2 comments)
A man runs into a doctor's office and screams, "Help me doc! Help me! I've only got 56 seconds to live!" The doctor, while working at another patient, replies, "Sir, I will be with you in a minute." This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington Virginia real estate. … (4 comments)
Selling at an auction was halted when the auctioneer announced, “Someone in the room has lost his wallet containing $5,000. He is offering a reward of $1,000 for its immediate return.” After a moment of silence, there was a call from the back of the room, “$1,050!” This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekfrod, your source for Arlington VA real estate. … (9 comments)
A man applied for a job with a large grocery store down the street. “What is your experience with groceries?” asked the hiring manager. “Well,” said the applicant. “I eat them quite often." This laugh courtesy of Mr. Arlington, your source for Arlington VA real estate. … (5 comments)
LAUGH OF THE DAY: Eating Wrong... A man walks into a psychiatrist's office. The man has a radish up his nose, carrot in his left ear, and stalk of broccoli in his right ear. He says, “What is wrong with me doctor? Help me!" The psychiatrist replies, “Sir, you are not eating properly.” This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your Arlington VA Realtor. … (2 comments)
;)
;)
