Lawrence's Blog - Archives March, 2008

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Realtionship Humor Joke - 03/21/08 07:07 PM

GENDER ITEMSZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.KIDNEYS - female, because they always go to the … (5 comments)

Humor for the ladies - 03/21/08 06:59 PM

The MR. RIGHT Rejection LetterDear [____rejectee's name here_____],I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep … (2 comments)

Have a nice weekend - 03/21/08 06:48 PM

A new sales assistant was hired at a large department store. On his first day, the sales manager took him around to show him the ropes. They were passing by the gardening section, when they heard a customer asking for grass seed. The sales manager stepped in.Sales manager: Excuse me, but … (5 comments)

Some more Real Estate Humor - 03/21/08 06:30 PM

Ask for a raise
"I have to have a raise in my commission," the agent said to his manager. "There are three other companies after me." "Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?""The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."
Commission CheckAn agent who was being … (6 comments)

Real Estate Humor - 03/21/08 06:18 PM

The great debate on Wife or Mistress
A doctor, a lawyer and a real estate agent were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."The … (1 comments)

Humor for everybody - Happy Easter! - 03/21/08 05:49 PM

This is for those of you that have a really good sense of humor.
HOW TO HANDLE IRRITATING SEATMATES ON AN AIRPLANEIf you are sitting next to someone who irritates you, follow theseinstructions:1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.2. Remove your laptop.3. Start up.4. Make sure the guy who is … (1 comments)

Keep an eye on your credit cards - 03/19/08 02:57 PM

FYI.... Be sure to read Scene 3."
Quite interesting.
SCENE 1. This is a new one. People sure stay busy trying to cheat us, don't they?
A friend went to the local gym and placed his belongings in the locker. After the workout and a shower, he came out, saw the locker … (7 comments)

Humor for the ladies - 03/07/08 10:48 AM

Female Comebacks! Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty?Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what … (4 comments)

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