communicating: TALKING "at" or "with"?
- 09/12/21 05:47 AM
We take for granted when we speak that we are communicating but is it effective? Be mindful of speaking in rote which is mechanical or habitual repeating of something learned. Rote does not give a high rate of return in the intimacy realms. Another watch word? Script! Speaking in a canned response (predictable) which people tend to drown out
RHETORIC
Still another type of speak, rhetorical talk is one talking to themselves and for themselves essentially not including the other person but taking up their time. This triggers a signal to the listener's attention span to activate. Deer in headlights appears or eyes … (6 comments)
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communicating: I NEVER SAID THAT (personal interactions)
- 10/09/17 08:57 AM
This happens more than we care to admit i.e. that another hears what they want to hear or what was sent and that's their experience. Often the one sending takes for granted that just because it was said their work is done. Of course if something doesn't go well, their fallback position is the famous cliche of...
I TOLD YOU SO
This is the over-used position of making yourself right when something goes wrong & having the smug attitude of innocence that you had nothing to do with it but everyone else did. It is also related to one of the oldest banes of mankind that … (10 comments)
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communicating: POLITICS RELIGION CAN SHARPEN YOU
- 07/20/16 12:05 AM
These two can really bring out what is going on in someone and lets face it, there is a lot going on in everyone. Some of it people share and some of it stays hidden for whatever reasons. I don't do well in the shadows, with hidden agendas or just plain leaving others to try to figure me out. I prefer the risk to grow by knowing and being known and mining for the Universal truths. On the way there, peoples personal truths, beliefs or stances can and should come out.
LET THEM
Exploring ones inner/outer world is an adventure like no other. Who among … (8 comments)
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communicating: HEARING WHAT PEOPLE SAY
- 08/05/15 08:55 AM
Not all noise made is understood. I know of people who filter selectively what they want to hear no matter what is said adding confusion to the mix. The speaker knows what was said and by whom, but selective hearing makes up its own rules. That is why it is important to listen. Not be in a hurry to respond. JUST LISTEN
MEANT or SAID?
Often when I go for clarity, thinkers and emotional persons tend to agree with what I repeat back in my own words. My retort, if they get cocky explaining to me that.."that is what I meant to say" ..well that is … (9 comments)
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communicating: THE ART OF THE POST
- 11/23/14 05:22 AM
In time, each one of us discovers their own art, niche, style or presentation in regards to blogging, commenting and posting and from there it comes like simple sharing and conversation. However, the start-up as we all fondly recall was not as simple as all that. Yes, we did launch our posts and hoped...
HOPED FOR WHAT?
That we did it right. That it made sense and that others would like it. At the very least that we didn't blow it. But you see, it is just like learning to walk. We all know that at first, the walking learning curve involves falling … (6 comments)
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communicating: THIS TOPIC NEVER GETS OLD
- 10/15/14 12:02 AM
Answering the phone. The phone is a tool of the business. Look at it as opening the front door of a bricks & mortar operation. When you put the key in the lock, reverse the closed sign to open, turn on the lights, people can now come and go. Your in business! Supporting that is what banks did for centuries called banking hours. Today, the phone is just that. It is a call (pun) and an answer (pun) to business
MIXED MESSAGES
Imagine a sign on your store that says...Back in 1/2 hour or out to lunch or the popular cardboard … (5 comments)
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communicating: DO YOU SPEAK SIXTH GRADE?
- 09/14/14 12:22 AM
Sixth grade. That's right. It is not condensing and speaking it normally allows me to be fluent in it when I unleash the point of the speak. Why do I speak 6th grade? WHY NOT? To me, that means everyone from 6th grade on up can hear me. Whats wrong with that? That means from 11 years old to 111 years old, we can have a meaningful exchange
IT MAKES POINTS
What a broad audience to exchange with as well. Its not that I am after anything a young person would want to know. It is so that my point, your time and my … (5 comments)
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communicating: CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
- 08/23/14 01:15 AM
When someone says..excuse me or what did you say or I didn't get that, I repeat it and think no more of it. However, if that keeps coming up for me during the day and in different places, I have some self-reflecting to do. What this means is that I may not be enunciating or speaking effectively. Yes, I know I said it and I sent it...but it was not received!
SENDING & RECEIVING
We don't realize when we are not broadcasting at optimum because that requires feedback, input and response. Some people will just nod in your direction or voice a sound letting what you said go … (9 comments)
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communicating: GETTING A BANG OUT OF SLANG
- 07/14/14 04:08 AM
We learn from watching ducks a favorite saying to get your ducks in a row or the ducks lined up to make a point or statement. Why do we find this behavior in ducks attractive enough to develop an expression about it? Slang often communicates quite nicely to help make a point and leave an impression while doing it
FROM THE HORSES DUCKS MOUTH
Mama duck, like us, needs to have things in order when leaving, entering or traveling the different territories. She plans ahead and has a a proven system that works. She triggers it before she leaves thus when the ducks … (2 comments)
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communicating: THE HAND AND FINGERS ARE BACK IN STYLE
- 05/14/14 12:28 AM
Blogging, posting and commenting is making people think, feel and react who normally would just reach for the remote control back in the day instead of their keyboards. I was watching some kids the other day work a a smart phone with their thumbs scrolling and texting away
THAT THUMB AIN'T DUMB
I didn't know a thumb could do all that. I mean I have seen young kids thumbs and fingers become blurs when it came to using their phones to communicate with. My thumb just does the normal activities that are required of it. I don't require acrobatics while texting etc
THE HAND IS BACK IN VOGUE
… (9 comments)
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communicating: CHALLENGE YOURSELF WITH THIS: LISTENING
- 02/02/14 11:29 PM
Pick a day any day and decide to make it a day where you practice listening. Not just NOT talking but listening to what others are saying. being attentive, eye contact, giving your full attention to the person and as an option, ask questions for further listening training
I WONT TALK...
Listening is a lot harder than you think. Most people's first reaction to wanting or attempting to listen will be to think that they will just silence themselves thus becoming what is left..a listener. Not so. Rocks and walls are silent but they are not good listeners. NO. More is required from you
IT WILL … (10 comments)
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communicating: ONE MILLION REASONS TO BLOG IN ACTIVERAIN
- 12/01/13 08:20 AM
I found ACTIVERAIN one day. I reviewed it not understanding it and made a note to come back when I had more time. With me, making a note or bookmarking is literal. I only go toward things that capture my attention in a certain way. AR qualified. On my return visit, I decided to fill out some areas and hardly noticed the movement as it gently prompted me forward. It reminded me of an airport
FIND THE TERMINAL
You enter the area and then the parking section and on to the entrance and then into the terminal. Then, you wonder past different … (76 comments)
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communicating: ARE YOU AFRAID TO ASK THIS BUSINESS QUESTION?
- 11/24/13 07:46 AM
What will it take? How can we get this done. What is the magic number that opens escrows and brings joy to the parties? Speak and I shall listen. Comment and I will respond. What is wrong with cutting to the chase and before we take another tree and misuse it in paper form, how about firming up where we are going before we get there?
CAN YOU SWIM?
As a listing agent, I welcome anyone who has their professional ducks lined up and playing soft quack while we speak. I will tell you exactly what we are looking for or what … (17 comments)
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communicating: MAKING OUT IN BUSINESS DON'T SMOOCH WITH THE KISS OF DEATH
- 11/15/13 11:39 PM
There are Real Estate practices that are standard procedure. They must be part of every transaction. Getting things in writing, doing diligence and being available just to name a tiny few. The BEING AVAILABLE is a biggie with me. How can you move a big ticket item effectively and efficiently when your communications are not running at optimum? Not being available is the KISS OF DEATH
THE PARTIES COME TOGETHER
What is optimum communications? Well two complete strangers...let's call them buyer and seller come together with their agents and for a short period of time must take a transaction in the hundreds of thousands of dollars … (8 comments)
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communicating: ACTIVERAIN FUN OR FAME
- 11/07/13 03:00 AM
It matures. It gets better. It even exceeds ones expectation if you interact too. If you just came here to learn, to read and ask questions, you walk away a winner. That bares repeating. WALK AWAY A WINNER. If you start posting and commenting, then you have opened yourself up to a whole new world. A cyberspace world that is becoming a real world even competing with real life.
IT'S A WAY OF LIFE
I mean I know people that spend 12-16 hours or more online for both personal and business purposes. That is their life...their cyberspace life. If being online is here … (11 comments)
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communicating: BLOGGING IDEAS ARE AS SIMPLE AS LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM
- 10/29/13 04:50 AM
It is easy to share an experience, a business transaction and a personal story. Everyone does it. In between times however, blog pick-ins can become a little thin and far and few between. We all have visited the valley of the lost blog and suffered of post thirst while there. However, what if I told you that all you had to do is just look around the room you are in and there is a post waiting for you
I'M LOOKING AROUND NOW
1. My land-line phone: I just bought batteries for my land-line phone...Interesting because the first ones lasted for years and the sign … (8 comments)
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communicating: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KICKED UNDER THE TABLE
- 09/23/13 09:36 AM
True tales from my youth include; I used to get kicked, under the table (on both legs) all the time around the kids, guests and business meetings. First time it happened, I thought it was an accident. Somebody just stretching out. No Big Deal. After several times, I realized communication was coming in, but for what I did not know. I just knew that the look or tone coming from the supposed kicker was serious as the kicking was
I MARRIED A KICKER
After the meeting/meal and rubbing my legs where it was bruised, I inquired and was told things that … (11 comments)
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communicating: BENDING OVER BACKWARDS MEANS COOPERATE PLEASE
- 07/02/12 12:20 AM
I never know what to expect in this business because people and transactions are different. We all may have the same ideas, but how we carry them out remains fascinating. I learned long ago that the most challenging things one can experience is not business or the unknown. NO. It is....
THE PEOPLE CARD
How to navigate through all the different personalities. If you have ever worked in corporate or structured environment, this statement will ring true to you. If you do any public relating, you will find that what may work for one person or transaction may not work for … (11 comments)
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communicating: WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU TOLD SOMEONE TO SHUT UP
- 06/26/12 01:25 AM
It is not a common word you hear every day in an adult world at least. In fact, when you do hear it, the attention immediately goes to the people involved. It usually the one saying SHUT UP that is trying to make a point. Shut-up can be used in a fun way, but you better make the point that it IS fun. If you fail, it is like a declaration of war.
SHUT UP...NO, YOU SHUT-UP
Who ever strung the two words together was on to something. The words actually convey a very clear meaning. The person receiving it must be doing … (12 comments)
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communicating: MAKE THE POINT WHATEVER IT IS
- 06/18/12 11:57 PM
In the professional arena, it is wise to get right to the point with your contact or the reason why we are talking to one another. Don't confuse this with the social arena where someone takes the time to want to get to know you. You have two distinct areas of engagement and capturing them when triggered creates dynamics
IF BUSINESS...ACT LIKE IT
When conducting business, I like staying focused and forward movement. Questions and answers may be introduced followed by remedy or commitment. Where it gets dicey is when you combine the two arenas. Stay on the reason we are talking and … (8 comments)
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We take for granted when we speak that we are communicating but is it effective? Be mindful of speaking in rote which is mechanical or habitual repeating of something learned. Rote does not give a high rate of return in the intimacy realms. Another watch word? Script! Speaking in a canned response (predictable) which people tend to drown out
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