humor: 50 Things I've Learned Since 2007 - 02/25/11 01:19 PM
Let's face it, anyone associated with the Real Estate industry over the past few years has a story worth telling. Unwitting witnesses to the fifty car pileup that has brought gridlock upon the highway to the American Dream, we owe it to consumers and historians alike to relate our first-hand accounts … (9 comments)
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humor: Sources: REALTOR Reintegration Scheduled for Scottsdale Market in 2013 - 02/10/11 07:06 PM
Feb 9, 2013 09:45 AM
Disassociative Press
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SCOTTSDALE (DP) – A four year federal wildlife program to rehabilitate the sagging numbers of a local animal population has proven to be a rousing success, according to Slade Winders of the Department of Herpetology. Non-indigenous to the Sonoran Desert, Realtus Serpentes is … (10 comments)
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humor: Agents Are From Mars, Consumers Are From Venezuela - 09/25/10 06:53 PM
It is human nature to view oneself in terms of value, and others in terms of cost. This paradox is never more evident than in a business setting. No exception to the rule, Real Estate agents and consumers must coexist in an arena of disparate interests and subjective truths. In the … (34 comments)
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humor: All Stocked Up On Lions, Send More Christians - 09/21/10 04:22 PM
“Good afternoon, Scottsdale. This is Paul Slaybaugh reporting live from the mouth of a saber-toothed tiger.”
“While waiting for an underwriter to emerge from the bowels of the Real Estate Colosseum to give the thumbs up or thumbs down to a pair of prostrate gladiators, we break from the action to report on the day’s … (44 comments)
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humor: Fun with Paul & Andy - 05/01/09 07:34 PM
Choose Your Own Adventure
A) "T.A.R.P. ... it's what's for dinner."
B) "Hey, that's not Mama ... Holy God, it's Timothy Geithner!"
C) "Unbeknownst to Carl, the beleaguered systems analyst was about to be downsized for the second time in as many days."
D) "Worms again? What does a brother … (36 comments)
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humor: Fun with Paul & Andy (9/26/09) - 04/26/09 10:11 PM
"Craigslist Island"
… (20 comments)
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humor: Coming Soon ... Fun with Paul & Andy - 04/11/09 12:37 PM
Sounds innocuous enough, no?
Tune in next week for some stultifying simple entertainment in these complex times. My man Andrew Lenza supplies the cartoons. I supply the captions. Hilarity and a total breakdown of Western civilization ensues. Good times.
Y'all come back now, ya hear?
… (30 comments)
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humor: Scottsdale AZ Real Estate Market Update - 03/11/09 07:17 PM
Still kinda sucks. Check back in a week.
… (55 comments)
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humor: And Now a Word From Your Leaders - 03/07/09 10:52 AM
In these troubled times, we Americans need to remember that a penny saved is a penny earned. Not only are a fool and his money quickly separated, but a bird in hand is worth two in the bush leagues. When push comes to shove, remember to raise your spirits by lifting … (30 comments)
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humor: Things to Do While Waiting for the Bank to Sign the Contract - 10/28/08 12:09 AM
Hurry up and wait. Now wait a little longer.
You already know that the short sale process is prohibitive to all but the most resolute and patient buyer, but patience is a pre-requisite of pursuing that bank-owned property as well. You submit your offer, you wait a couple of business days, … (32 comments)
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humor: You say potatoe, I say potato. - 09/29/08 12:29 PM
This is by far the most entertaining election cycle I have ever seen. If not for the economic quagmire and two grueling wars in which we are embroiled, I would be endlessly amused.
Who am I kidding? I am amused nonetheless.
We now take you semi-live to the action.
In … (43 comments)
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humor: Attention Homeowners: Your Bailout is in the Mail! - 09/21/08 11:17 PM
Attention Citizens,
In these uncertain times, we here at the Treasury Department fully understand the fear that is running rampant across the nation. Now that we have complete unfettered control of the financial markets, let us assuage those fears by announcing that we are hereby assuming all debt currently held … (36 comments)
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humor: More Resolutions from a Scottsdale Realtor - 12/28/07 12:16 AM
The calendar on the wall tells me that it is December 27th, so that can only mean one thing. Actually, that can mean many things, but let's focus on the agenda at hand.
It's resolution time.
I have already laid out a paradigm shift that I will employ in my personal life … (45 comments)
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humor: Scottsdale's 12 Days of Mischief - 12/23/07 01:31 PM
On the First Day of Mischief, my toddler gave to me:
A perfectly devious smile!
On the Second Day of Mischief, my toddler gave to me:
Two inoperable showers and a perfectly devious smile!
On the Third Day of Mischief, my toddler gave to me:
Three sticky messes, two inoperable showers, and a … (61 comments)
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humor: Q?U?E?S?T?I?O?N?S? - 11/16/07 12:55 PM
Most days, I like to provide sound Real Estate analysis and advice here on my blog. Like my fellow agents, I believe that my experiences in this industry make my opinions worth sharing with consumers. Typically, that involves providing answers to common Real Estate related questions.
Today, though, I don't have any … (99 comments)
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humor: "Why is there a watermelon there?" - My plan for fixing Halloween - 11/01/07 01:13 PM
Halloween is a fun and exciting time for children across the country. Expressing creativity through garish costume, reveling in the opportunity to frighten and be frightened, carving pumpkins, eating candy ... what could be better, right?
I'm glad you asked.
My family had a wonderful time on this latest All Hallows Eve, … (53 comments)
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humor: If the Bears Don't Get Him ... - 10/26/07 12:08 AM
Attention Active Rain members:
Please be on the lookout for this man!
I am to call the National Forest Service, National Guard, maybe even the Nation Association of Realtors if he does not surface by Sunday evening. He was last seen leaving forest service road 25, approximately 5 miles south of Hannigan Meadow … (49 comments)
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humor: Realtors make the best Best Men - 10/08/07 12:47 AM
I was asked to be the Best Man at an old friend's wedding this past weekend. It was the first time that such an honor had been bestowed upon me. It's an amazing and humbling thing to be chosen for such a responsibility. While there are numerous tasks to complete, the meat … (50 comments)
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humor: Case study: The Evolution of the Realtor Brain - 09/19/07 03:40 PM
Of the big mysteries that this universe has to offer, is any greater than the inner workings of a mind which would subject its user to the life of a Realtor? How is one programmed to endure the uncertainty? The abuse? It is a classic case of Nature versus Nurture. Are … (33 comments)
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