Truth be told, your social networking started back in kindergarten. You know how you are supposed to learn all kinds of crap in kindergarten that will serve you later (All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten). Well, making friends, sharing, keeping in touch, those are valuable skills you learn way back when. They are also the key components of social networking! So, the very skills you would use to make and keep friends offline are the very same ones you need to use online.
I want to make this clear, Nicole and I are Prom Queens among the glut of geeks in social media. We win the social media lottery every time because we are social people- we are fun, witty, wise and know how to make real friends and keep them and know when to let some go. We know to use our real offline network of friends to help build a whole new network of online friends. But there are rules to this process...
Rule 1: Collect Fascinating Friends Offline and Connect With Them Online
I learned a long time ago to collect fascinating friends. Friends that have never been beaten down by life and always maintain a lust for experience! It makes for wonderfully irreverent stories and the most satisfying friendships and networking experiences. Now, I don't know about you but I still have friends from first grade. In fact, one of my dearest and oldest friends , Bernadett Vajda (yeah yeah- the face, the legend, the model, the macaroon maker and Hungarian Princess (she also grew up next to Jay Leno's mother)) is one such friend that I have known for so many years we can say a single word or phrase and burst out laughing. We have the kind of legendary stories that we can't get through without busting out into incoherent laughter.
*Some of our more legendary stories that are still publishable can be found here at the bottom of this post on Sacrilicious - because I want to make good on my threat to her of publishing something scandalous.
When I look at my stable of friends I see fascinating people I have known since first grade, a princess I met at boarding school, a prince I met at college, a gay doctor couple that is adopting an AIDS baby, a lawyer that fights for victim's rights, a forensic accountant with the FBI, a drop dead gorgeous rocket scientist (note to aspiring Astronauts - would not recommend flying on one of the shuttles she engineered - she was not as good at math as she is at mugging for cameras), a serious working model, a Playboy Bunny, a Miss America, a fashion editor, a UFC fighter, a guy who started one of the most successful online social networks , etc. When it came time to get involved in social media, I made sure to find each and every one of my most fascinating friends and connect with them online too!
Find all your real-life friends and family on social networks first. Don't just rely on your address book to upload and find your contacts - seek out people you know or may have lost contact with. These are your bread and butter. These are the people that already know you and love you (or let's hope they love you.) Make sure you find them on MySpace, FaceBook, LinkedIn and Twitter first. Google them if you have to, but be sure to connect with them. And I made sure that each and every one of them was on all the major social networks so we could connect and stay connected.
Wanna Connect with me online? Just click on the social network you want to connect with me on and viola- we're friends!
Rule 2: Network up - find people you respect and bring them into your fold.
Now that you have your existing network connected, grow it - first look at who your friends follow, friend and connect with online and see if any of those people would be worth socializing with. Check all their 6 degrees of separation too then start actively looking for people you don't yet know but have similar interests, hobbies, professions, etc . Twitter and Facebook are really the best places to do this since you can directly interact with people you don't know yet.
Read also: 6 Steps to Becoming a Twitter Nazi
Rule 3 Interact with people online
Don't just friend or follow people, actually talk to them. It's hard for people to like you if you don't ever introduce yourself or keep in touch. And one more thing just in case you were that kid picking your nose in the corner by yourself- act normal on the social networks. Say normal, human things, nix the biz talk. Talk about your interests not just your business. Remember people like people are like them so connect with people based on your mutual interests. If you like sports- find other sports fans, if you like gossip, find other gossip girls, if you like knitting- get the f*ck off the Internet. Just kidding- there are knitters on the Internet, but I find CAT 5 made of yarn can really hinder your connectivity.
Be sure to wish people Happy Birthday, Merry Xmas, Happy Hanukkah and write on your friends' walls regularly on Facebook, Tweet people directly (80% of all your tweets on Twitter should be replies). Use constant contact or another newsletter program to keep in touch with friends and family to let them know what you are up to so you can constantly stay in touch and never lose a friend into the abyss of your life again. Also be sure to always ask what people are up to, it may surprise you to find that some of your friends or even family are in positions to help you.
Read also: How to avoid being a Panda online and start being a real bear
Rule 5: Make time for friends both online and offline
Now that you know how to keep in touch online, be sure to find ways to connect offline too. It's easy to meet with people at conferences, but try scheduling yourself for some local Tweetups where you can meet other Twitts or a Meetup where you can find whole groups of people interested in the same things you are that meet up to discuss those things (I personally find the site endlessly hilarious as there are really messed up meetup groups like one for those nuts that dress up as team mascots and get it on.) But the idea here is get the hell away from the computer and start mingling in real life so you can grow your network both on and off line. Also, be sure to ALWAYS follow up with new people you meet withn 24 hours. That means when you take business cards, enter them into your contact manager and send the personal a personalized email on how wonderful it was to meet them with some minor personal detail about the interaction so they feel special. Be sure to also always include links to your Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn accounts so they can connect with there as well.
Read also: Attending Industry Conventions: How to Hustle & Flow Like the Pimp You Are
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