Real Estate Internet Dating

As of March 1, 2013 there were 900 residential homes for sale in the Lakes Region of NH communities listed in this report. The average asking price stood at $503,883 and the median price point was $249,900. The current inventory level equals a twelve month supply of homes on the market which is a whole lot better than the 994 listings and 15 month supply as of March 1, 2012.

An associates told me the other day that a buyer she was working with thought that looking for a property online was a bit like Internet dating. The buyer had asked about some properties and the agent clued her in to some issues that weren’t readily apparent from the info and pictures on the MLS. Buyers often find a property online that they think they love only to be heartbroken when finally seeing it in person. Could that sweetheart of a home turn out to be just a cheap, boorish date? It got me thinking about how it might be possible to improve on the various real estate websites and take the guesswork out of finding the right home or agent to work with. Imagine, you want to buy a house and you need to find a real estate agent to help you. Right now you usually ask someone you know who they have used, or grab a real estate magazine to pick out the most handsome guy or the prettiest gal, or you go to websites like REALTOR.com to read agent bios. Just so you know, real estate agents write these glowing bios about themselves so they tend to be a bit aggrandizing to say the least. We have had years of experience in describing run down mobile homes so that you envision them as palaces so we are also pretty good at describing ourselves. It is also common practice among real estate agents to use photos of themselves when they were 10-15 years younger, 25 pounds lighter, and had more hair. No wonder you are shocked when you finally meet your agent for the first time...

What if there was website called Matched.com where buyers and sellers could go to find a date, I mean agent, and live happily ever after in real estate bliss. This will be accomplished by utilizing a very complete and in-depth interview process and a detailed personal profile. Once a buyer or seller completes the questionnaire, a proprietary software program using a top secret algorithm will match the starry eyed buyer or seller with the perfect mate, I mean agent. Actual present day photography will also be used to eliminate those unpleasant and awkward first encounters. For example, if a buyer is new to the area and his personal profile shows that he has a hard time making decisions, he will likely be paired with a new agent that is hungry for work, needs to learn the inventory, and owns a Prius as this buyer is likely going to look at 35-40 homes. Say a home seller is a survivalist and his fortified compound might just scare most agents. He would be paired with a like minded NRA member with a four wheel drive pickup truck, Jeep, or better yet a blacked out Hummer. If an elderly couple is looking for a retirement home, Matched.com doesn’t hook them up with a some young techie agent. No sir, they would get an agent that would enjoy an afternoon nap in the car with them or the early bird special down at Friendly’s. A crusty, cantankerous, million dollar buyer or seller would be paired with a very patient agent with good listening skills as nothing he has to say would matter anyway. See, perfect matches every time…

The eHomeny.com website is going to be THE place for buyers to find their perfect home online. There will be no surprises here as all properties will be presented in a complete, truthful, and un-enhanced manner that gives the buyer the best, scratch that, the most truthful on-line representation possible. The online dating site “eHarmony®” boasts that you would “get deeply matched with singles based on 29 Dimensions®.” Well, eHomeny is going to be better, having 32 Dimensions® (all of theirs, plus the lot acreage and width and length of rooms). All sellers will have to fill out an exhaustive property profile that goes far beyond that four page State of NH Seller’s Property Disclosure currently used. In addition, an eHomeny representative will certify the accuracy of the property profile with the eHomeny Gold Seal of Approval.

 This profile gets into things like “What does the home smell like?”, “Has duct tape been used to make any home repairs?”, “How many packs of cigarettes did you smoke per day in here?”, “Are the neighbors a pain?”, “Rate the road noise,” and “When was the last time you cleaned the shower stall?” The eHomeny representative would take external pictures facing away from the house in all directions so you can see the redneck roadhouse or the sewerage plant next door. A video tour of the ride to the property from the nearest Dunkin' Donuts would also be provided to show you what you will have to pass by on the way. A used NASA computer running an outdated CIA software program will match the 32 Dimensions of information gathered from the buyer with homes providing a perfect match every time. The average time to find a home now will be two days thereby lessening the demand on gasoline and lowering fuel prices worldwide. eHomeny will benefit sellers regardless of whether the property is beautiful or a real plain Jane. There are buyers out there that are extremely fussy and then there are those that could care less where they live as long as the house is cheap to heat and it’s not too far from a Cumby’s or Wal-Mart. Then there are properties where the only buyer would have to be a blind fool from California with lots of money. The eHomeny's Compatibility Matching System will find the proverbial arse for every seat… I mean house. You’ll feel like you are on a honeymoon right from the start. 

These new sites really will take the guess work out of internet home shopping! You deserve to experience the joy and excitement of falling in love with an agent and a home with whom you share true compatibility. Would you like to fill out a questionnaire?

Data was compiled as of 3/1/13 using the Northern New England Real Estate MLS System.