Russ's Blog

The first rule of underpants is: Do not talk about underpants. – www.topfive.com

I woke up this morning feeling in an especially grateful mood and I thought . . . I’ll blog about gratitude. I was preparing a mental list of all the things in my life for which I am grateful when I got into an argument with my wife about underpants, which, as the saying goes, got my panties in a bunch.

So, gratitude’s out. I’m going with underpants.

Now, I’m sure that there are people who’ve had an argument about underpants, as in your wife finds a pair (not hers) in your glove compartment. Not me. I’m just saying . . .

No, for me it was an answer to a simple question that got the ball (slight pun) rolling.

Wife: Your birthday is coming up soon. What would you like?
Me: Underpants.
Wife: No way. You have way too may pairs now and you never throw the old nasty ones away.
Me: Yeah, but . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The little dots indicate the space where I was trying to make my point, but my wife was the one actually doing the talking. The question in my mind was, how did I get myself in this situation? As a Wilmington real estate broker, I analyze information, market statistics, trends, etc. and advise clients so that they can achieve goals and make informed decisions. I'd like to think I’m a smart guy and a decent problem solver. You would have thought I could have (should have) avoided the underpants argument. After all, I’ve been here before. Our discussion ended, as it always has, with a curt directive to buy my own underpants. We have similar conversations about socks.

See, the crux of the matter is that I don’t like clothes shopping. I under-like shopping for underpants. So, every once in a while, I stock up like a crazed underpants survivalist. In a digital age, my underpants are analog. My stash is disintegrating. The clothes dryer has rendered most of the elastic bands the consistency of dead leaves. The fabric has the ripped look of designer jeans. Moths are appalled that I blame my briefs demise on them. It’s time to clean house.

Once, years ago in my youth, I mistakenly dried a load of laundry at a laundromat for an hour and a half. The results were tiny potato chip brittle underpants, sized to fit Barbie’s boyfriend, but he wouldn’t have been able to sit down.

So, faced with the choice of duct taping my briefs to my belly or going s-s-shopping, I guess shopping is slightly less painful than tearing off the duct tape at the end of the day.

Here's a thought for you first time home buyers. The government is offering an $8,000 tax credit as an incentive to purchase a home. You can buy a lot of underpants for eight grand.

Scoot on.

Me fail English? That's unpossible. - Ralph Wiggum (The Simpsons)

I've gone on this mini-rant before, so please forgive me for repeating myself, but I continue to be perplexed that the general public, as well as many of my colleagues, cannot properly pronounce what we do for a living. We're REALTORS, two syllables; not REAL-A-TORS. Nobody calls a doctor a DOC-A-TOR or a plumber a PLUM-A-BER. What's the prob-a-lem here?

Our training director stopped using the phrase "sphere of influence" in her classes and, instead, uses the phrase "center of influence" to describe the group of people upon whom we have some influence just because they know us. Why the change? Too many people were saying "spear of influence." Things might go a little smoother for me sometimes if I DID have a "spear of influence."

Me: Are you ready to list your home with me?
Homeowner: I'll have to think about it.
Me: How about I poke you with my spear of influence. Say hello to my little friend.
Homeowner: Where do I sign?

In addition, Ive noticed some language manglers advertise a house for "sell", while other are "saling" a house. Sell. Sale. It's not that confusing. How about "sailing" a house? Carl did it in the movie UP. Our print and e-mail communications make a statement about us. I think sometimes our grammatical/spelling zipper is down, but we don't seem to notice.

OK, now to some info you can use. As in all occupations, real estate agents and mortgage lenders have their own vernacular. Here are three terms that are used when describing a buyer's loan qualification.

Prequalification - full verbal loan application, credit check, "approve" received through Automated Underwriting.

Preapproval - All of the above PLUS receipt of income documentation (pay stubs & W2's or tax returns) and proof of assets needed for down payment. Review of any unusual circumstances with underwriter.

Loan Commitment - All of the above PLUS signatures on all applications and disclosures, appraisal received and approved, title insurance, rate locked, underwriter review and approval of all documentation.

If you have questions on loan programs, interest rates, closing costs, etc., please contact Grace Bass at Alpha Mortgage grace.bass@alphamortgage.com

And, as always, if you have questions about the Wilmington Real Estate market, please feel free to contact me at any time.

Realtor "Briefs"

Wilmington NC Real Estate Market