Here's a perfect example of my quandary. I’m trying to be nice. I'd like to be nice. But I’ve been working on a listing with my buyers for several days now… A big fat waste of time for all of us. Here's the tale of woe:

I see a listing in the MLS I think my buyers might like. It's a multi-family with 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms south of the 7 mile bridge. Since it doesn’t say exactly how many units, I assume 3-4. It's got to be over two (since that would be a duplex) and under four (since it's listed under multi-family 3-4 units.)

You know what they say about assumptions.

It's big, with 4000sf, and priced at just under $370/sf. This is a good price, considering all of last year, multi-families sold for $370/sf median.

I send the data sheet to the buyers. They are interested. We need more information. If the basic info checks out, they will fly down from the frozen north, I will fly up from the rainforest, we'll visit the property. Have sushi. And they will likely make an offer. Let's get started...

I call the listing agent, ask about the utilities. She says 1 water meter, 6 electric. Six, I ask? She says yes, there are 6 apartments. With only 4 bathrooms, I ask? She says, "Oh, that’s a mistake. It should say six. My assistant entered the info." OK, we go with that.

For #non-transient occupational licenses, the data sheet has a 1 typed there. Um, ok. I ask for a copy of the license. It is ONE piece of paper, but it's for FOUR units. The data sheet should say 4.

The fifth and sixth units are owner-occupied so not rentals and not licensed. The agent tells me you can get a license for these other units, which is true. If those are legal units, the owner should be able to get non-transient licenses for these as well. If this were my listing, I'd advise the owner to do that. It's cheap and adds value to the property. Then I'd be able to type in a 6 where that 1 is next to #non-transient occupational licenses.

We request a copy of the leases. We actually read them. The leases require the tenants to pay their own water bill. I wonder about that with only one meter: does the owner or property manager get the monthly bill, then divvy up the expense using sf/apartment, then bill the tenants? I call FKAA and discover there are 6 water meters.

The buyers ask for more pictures. The listing agent immediately goes and takes a bunch, which is very nice and I do appreciate that. One of the pictures clearly shows six water meters on the ground.

The listing agent says there is only one sewer/garbage account. I call the govmint. There are 6.

I take a closer look at the many-times-faxed almost-illegible survey she sent me and do the math on the sf: looks to me like between 1850 to 2400 max. I ask about that. She immediately goes to measure: the total sf is 2000.

So: sf is now half; $/sf is now double. Not such a good deal.

I ask for a floor plan. She doesn’t have one. I ask her to please draw one, no matter how rough – the buyers just need an idea of floor plan. With great good humor, she draws one and sends it. It's not bad at all. I notice that there are no walls separating the bedrooms from the living area. I ask if these are one bedrooms or efficiencies?

They are efficiencies.

This morning, the online data says 6/6 indicating 6 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms. Not 0/6 as it should be for efficiencies.

SF is still listed as 4000. Even though it's half that and at least two of us knows it.

Oh. And as a 6 unit apartment building, shouldn't this be listed as commercial under residential income? A property is only considered residential multi-family up to four units. After that, it's commercial and taxed and insured as such.

Is it just me?